One Year & Under Club Part 31
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,597
Gleefan - it's hard when people don't pick up on the normal social cues that make interpersonal transactions glide along smoothly. I have no advice but I sympathise. You're a kind person to want to keep her in your life.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,597
I just don't understand the attraction of kale.
I have made non-dairy smoothies with baby spinach. That's not too bad.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
Morning Undies,
Here I sit, two days before the day after tomorrow.
Fact is, things suck between my ears right now. I get the this too shall pass, at least your not in Yale (I liked that one by an AA buddy), it's only 20 days...yada, yada.
Plenty to keep me productive and busy. Have a friend and his son who relapsed from drugs coming over for dinner, then we will head to a meeting. Tomorrow my "friend" is coming over to take me grocery shopping and a meeting.
Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for all the assistance I have been receiving. But, guess what, having FREEDOMS taken away just sucks...plain and simple. Yes freedom is free for most of us, but the loss of it is oh so costly.
Enjoy your freedoms today, Undies. Today I can enjoy freedom from the obsession to drink. Something that allows for the possibility to build upon.
Carlos xx
Here I sit, two days before the day after tomorrow.
Fact is, things suck between my ears right now. I get the this too shall pass, at least your not in Yale (I liked that one by an AA buddy), it's only 20 days...yada, yada.
Plenty to keep me productive and busy. Have a friend and his son who relapsed from drugs coming over for dinner, then we will head to a meeting. Tomorrow my "friend" is coming over to take me grocery shopping and a meeting.
Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for all the assistance I have been receiving. But, guess what, having FREEDOMS taken away just sucks...plain and simple. Yes freedom is free for most of us, but the loss of it is oh so costly.
Enjoy your freedoms today, Undies. Today I can enjoy freedom from the obsession to drink. Something that allows for the possibility to build upon.
Carlos xx
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Dee is right, Carlos. Commit each day and misery to memory so you dont have to repeat this event. I dont know the details, but I suspect you just got caught for something most of us are guilty of. I know, I was once where you are, for greater than 20 days, but before ankle bracelets.
Thanks for your posts; they help us all!
Thanks for your posts; they help us all!
CONGRATULATIONS ON 2 MONTHS!!Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
Congratulations on 2 months Aaryckha
Cowboy, good to see you making note of people's anniversaries that recognition means so much especially to the quieter ones, so keep it up!
GF, you have had the best advice here already, I would ditto Dee. On a personal note I would also add that I have had to end friendships because the negativity of them were just too much for me. If you frequently feel stressed or drained around a person, they are just taking your energy and giving nothing back.
Carlos, you know I love you right? And I do feel bad for what is happening. But my sweet dear friend get a grip! your punishment, while severe in terms of what you are able to do, is mild in terms of what might have been. Stop seeing your limitations and start realising your fortune. You are alive, you are sober, you have a multitude of friends willing and able to be with you and help you. You are not being restricted because of Heath problems, and you are able to see a day not too far in the future when this will end. Without this punishment, you would maybe have remained unaware of the blessings in your day to day life. Sorry if that was harsh but I feel you are pulling an Eeyore!
DG, good to see the trip is going well.
Babs, day 4, so now I can start asking what you will be doing differently this time to keep things on the up and up?
SJ how are things with you?
To all newbies and recent posters, it is great to see so many coming here, please continue postin so we can get to know you all better.
BFree, how's your throat love? Oh that weather sounds sublime!
Courage, I didn't know I was such a whirlwind! I do hope you have recovered from my visit!
Love youse all
Cowboy, good to see you making note of people's anniversaries that recognition means so much especially to the quieter ones, so keep it up!
GF, you have had the best advice here already, I would ditto Dee. On a personal note I would also add that I have had to end friendships because the negativity of them were just too much for me. If you frequently feel stressed or drained around a person, they are just taking your energy and giving nothing back.
Carlos, you know I love you right? And I do feel bad for what is happening. But my sweet dear friend get a grip! your punishment, while severe in terms of what you are able to do, is mild in terms of what might have been. Stop seeing your limitations and start realising your fortune. You are alive, you are sober, you have a multitude of friends willing and able to be with you and help you. You are not being restricted because of Heath problems, and you are able to see a day not too far in the future when this will end. Without this punishment, you would maybe have remained unaware of the blessings in your day to day life. Sorry if that was harsh but I feel you are pulling an Eeyore!
DG, good to see the trip is going well.
Babs, day 4, so now I can start asking what you will be doing differently this time to keep things on the up and up?
SJ how are things with you?
To all newbies and recent posters, it is great to see so many coming here, please continue postin so we can get to know you all better.
BFree, how's your throat love? Oh that weather sounds sublime!
Courage, I didn't know I was such a whirlwind! I do hope you have recovered from my visit!
Love youse all
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,247
Folks..not been here much...still extremely busy with work.....I am trying to catch up on all the posts.....it has been busy....
It should free up over the next several weeks....
So toots..to answer your question ..well...not drinking at all...one day at a time.....this week end will prsent challenges ..I am not a fool....but am ...liking the feeling very much of not drinking.....
Steve..hope you are doing well....
Jim
Yes...Aaryckha...2 months...congratulations!
It should free up over the next several weeks....
So toots..to answer your question ..well...not drinking at all...one day at a time.....this week end will prsent challenges ..I am not a fool....but am ...liking the feeling very much of not drinking.....
Steve..hope you are doing well....
Jim
Yes...Aaryckha...2 months...congratulations!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Aliso Viejo, CA
Posts: 863
Morning undies,
Wow, things have taken a turn at home. I sent hubby an email yesterday morning after yet another big fight. I told him I just can't handle the combination of him, his ex, and his daughter without outside help (counseling). I honestly felt like I was losing my sanity because every argument was turned around on me. Not to mention my sobriety was becoming a much bigger struggle.
Typically, after a fight and me trying to communicate I would receive only silent treatment. Sometimes for days or weeks. Yesterday, he came home and pulled me away from doing dishes, and gave me an opportunity to express my feelings. Which of course threw me so off guard that I didn't have much to say. I kept waiting to hear something I did wrong but he was just super nice and sympathetic to me and agreed to counseling. I wanted to ask him who he was and what he did with my husband!
Anyway, he laid out the plan for his daughter, which includes her maternal grandparents helping us out while we are working, which they aren't happy about because she has stolen from them but they are willing to try again.
Now I just have to hope that she doesn't get into too much trouble before school is out. Apparently she has been harassing some other girl at school so the principle and teachers are on alert to her behavior also. After the school year she will be off to Europe, then the school of her mom's choice. Mom has a lot more financial resources than we do so we won't be involved in that decision and I really don't want to be.
I just need to make it through May. I can do that. I will keep saying it until I believe it.
Have a great day undies.
Wow, things have taken a turn at home. I sent hubby an email yesterday morning after yet another big fight. I told him I just can't handle the combination of him, his ex, and his daughter without outside help (counseling). I honestly felt like I was losing my sanity because every argument was turned around on me. Not to mention my sobriety was becoming a much bigger struggle.
Typically, after a fight and me trying to communicate I would receive only silent treatment. Sometimes for days or weeks. Yesterday, he came home and pulled me away from doing dishes, and gave me an opportunity to express my feelings. Which of course threw me so off guard that I didn't have much to say. I kept waiting to hear something I did wrong but he was just super nice and sympathetic to me and agreed to counseling. I wanted to ask him who he was and what he did with my husband!
Anyway, he laid out the plan for his daughter, which includes her maternal grandparents helping us out while we are working, which they aren't happy about because she has stolen from them but they are willing to try again.
Now I just have to hope that she doesn't get into too much trouble before school is out. Apparently she has been harassing some other girl at school so the principle and teachers are on alert to her behavior also. After the school year she will be off to Europe, then the school of her mom's choice. Mom has a lot more financial resources than we do so we won't be involved in that decision and I really don't want to be.
I just need to make it through May. I can do that. I will keep saying it until I believe it.
Have a great day undies.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
Siesta, I am so glad hubby finally heard you. I have found in the past with my hubby (another sulker who turns a deaf ear) that an email reaches him in ways my spoken words can't. I am always careful of how I write it, as I know words are interpreted by the mood of the reader, but in times of the worst stress, when I can reach him no other way, I still email him now.
It is good you.'re getting additional help, it was too much of them to be leaving it all to you, an impossible situation and I have to say, the Siesta of last year would have very much used it as an excuse to drink, and wouldn't have dealt half as well as you have. I am proud of you sweetie, and see real commitment to your sobriety here, in really difficult circumstances.
Jim, begin making plans for how you are going to 'manage' the weekend. A close link to here will help, also, visualise being happy and sober and smilingly waving away temptation. You have strength, draw on it.
Gilmer, Freudian slip! Your young 'sun' prefers rain! Lol xx
It is good you.'re getting additional help, it was too much of them to be leaving it all to you, an impossible situation and I have to say, the Siesta of last year would have very much used it as an excuse to drink, and wouldn't have dealt half as well as you have. I am proud of you sweetie, and see real commitment to your sobriety here, in really difficult circumstances.
Jim, begin making plans for how you are going to 'manage' the weekend. A close link to here will help, also, visualise being happy and sober and smilingly waving away temptation. You have strength, draw on it.
Gilmer, Freudian slip! Your young 'sun' prefers rain! Lol xx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Siesta - isn't it interesting when our partners show unexpected understanding and support? Since I stopped drinking, my hubby has been more supportive. He could probably say the same of me. Solutions are on the horizon, and I hope the promise of changes to your situation can keep you optimistic and focused on your sobriety. No more smelling wine, ok?
Jim - keep those sober days coming.
BoozeFree - feel better, hun!
Carlos - toots offered you a different perspective on your situation. Fitting advice since you like to pick things up, examine them, see how the light reflects off them in different positions, etc.
Toots, courage, TigerLili, Carlos, Dee - thanks for your advice on Needy. Thanks everyone else for listening ad nauseum. I sent a text calmly reiterating my boundaries, with help from resident crisis negotiator Carlos. I feel aggravated that she is responded to my need for boundaries by telling me I behaved badly. I refuse to let my approach define this situation because she didn't get my attempts at subtlety, and besides, that's not what this is about. This is about erecting boundaries and untangling ourselves from a codependent friendship. Feeling inspired to write my next blog entry!
Jim - keep those sober days coming.
BoozeFree - feel better, hun!
Carlos - toots offered you a different perspective on your situation. Fitting advice since you like to pick things up, examine them, see how the light reflects off them in different positions, etc.
Toots, courage, TigerLili, Carlos, Dee - thanks for your advice on Needy. Thanks everyone else for listening ad nauseum. I sent a text calmly reiterating my boundaries, with help from resident crisis negotiator Carlos. I feel aggravated that she is responded to my need for boundaries by telling me I behaved badly. I refuse to let my approach define this situation because she didn't get my attempts at subtlety, and besides, that's not what this is about. This is about erecting boundaries and untangling ourselves from a codependent friendship. Feeling inspired to write my next blog entry!
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Happy Belltane (May 1st) Undies!
First, I would like to give a great big thank you to you all for your congratulations! I can't believe it's been two months already! It's been an absolutely gorgeous day here in the Seattle area so I took advantage of the sun and went out to enjoy it!
I'm sorry for not being around more. I have these ups and downs in my brain where I find my concentration really lacks sometimes. It's frustrating to not be able to string together a solid cohesive thought. These episodes are getting better but I do find them frustrating!
I really am in awe of you guys. Some of you are going through some truly tough times and are making it through with flying colors. Heck, I'm having a hard time motivating myself to do the stupid simple things around the house!
For me, I need to find some ways to get out of my head and myself. I'm signed up for a cake decorating class that starts next week. While quitting my job was something that I needed to do to get sober, I find I'm really lacking structure in my day and for me, that's bad. I really thrive on having a schedule. I have a hard time holding myself accountable for things. After all, for most stuff, if I don't do it, who is going to either know or care? That's a horrible way to look at things but it's the truth.
Tomorrow, I really would like to either get to the library or go to the bookstore. I more tend to lean towards the library because, well, I can borrow their books, I don't have to buy them!
Anyhow, I'm going to go make myself some dinner here and hopefully go to bed at least sometime soon so I can be up in the morning.
I hope everyone has a very wonderful evening/day!
First, I would like to give a great big thank you to you all for your congratulations! I can't believe it's been two months already! It's been an absolutely gorgeous day here in the Seattle area so I took advantage of the sun and went out to enjoy it!
I'm sorry for not being around more. I have these ups and downs in my brain where I find my concentration really lacks sometimes. It's frustrating to not be able to string together a solid cohesive thought. These episodes are getting better but I do find them frustrating!
I really am in awe of you guys. Some of you are going through some truly tough times and are making it through with flying colors. Heck, I'm having a hard time motivating myself to do the stupid simple things around the house!
For me, I need to find some ways to get out of my head and myself. I'm signed up for a cake decorating class that starts next week. While quitting my job was something that I needed to do to get sober, I find I'm really lacking structure in my day and for me, that's bad. I really thrive on having a schedule. I have a hard time holding myself accountable for things. After all, for most stuff, if I don't do it, who is going to either know or care? That's a horrible way to look at things but it's the truth.
Tomorrow, I really would like to either get to the library or go to the bookstore. I more tend to lean towards the library because, well, I can borrow their books, I don't have to buy them!
Anyhow, I'm going to go make myself some dinner here and hopefully go to bed at least sometime soon so I can be up in the morning.
I hope everyone has a very wonderful evening/day!
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Hey, brother, there’s an endless road to re-discover.
Hey, sister, know the water's sweet but blood is thicker.
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you
There’s nothing in this world I wouldn't do.
Hey, brother, do you still believe in one another?
Hey, sister, do you still believe in love I wonder?
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you
There’s nothing in this world I wouldn't do.
Ah, what if I'm far from home?
Oh, brother, I will hear you call.
What if I lose it all?
Oh, sister, I will help you out!
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you
There’s nothing in this world I wouldn't do.
Hey, brother, there’s an endless road to re-discover.
Hey, sister, do you still believe in love I wonder?
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you
There’s nothing in this world I wouldn't do.
Ah, what if I'm far from home?
Oh, brother, I will hear you call.
What if I lose it all?
Oh, sister, I will help you out!
Oh, if the the sky comes falling down, for you
There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do.
Been listening to this song all day. I love this song. It really makes me think of all my SR friends.
Thanks to CaliChris for recommending this song to me!
Hey, sister, know the water's sweet but blood is thicker.
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you
There’s nothing in this world I wouldn't do.
Hey, brother, do you still believe in one another?
Hey, sister, do you still believe in love I wonder?
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you
There’s nothing in this world I wouldn't do.
Ah, what if I'm far from home?
Oh, brother, I will hear you call.
What if I lose it all?
Oh, sister, I will help you out!
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you
There’s nothing in this world I wouldn't do.
Hey, brother, there’s an endless road to re-discover.
Hey, sister, do you still believe in love I wonder?
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you
There’s nothing in this world I wouldn't do.
Ah, what if I'm far from home?
Oh, brother, I will hear you call.
What if I lose it all?
Oh, sister, I will help you out!
Oh, if the the sky comes falling down, for you
There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do.
Been listening to this song all day. I love this song. It really makes me think of all my SR friends.
Thanks to CaliChris for recommending this song to me!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
aarryckha- I think that trouble stringing thoughts together can be normal during early sobriety. It really does get better. All of this is a process and at 2 months, making it through each day sober is still a huge accomplishment. Don't stress too much about what else happens or doesn't (But DO try to keep getting out and doing things like the library... you'll find you get more and more done each day as time progresses).
Well, I'm really looking forward to the weekend. Other than that, things are normal and good in my world.
Well, I'm really looking forward to the weekend. Other than that, things are normal and good in my world.
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