One Year & Under Club Part 31
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Yeah, Carlos--I was just teasing you about the blog thing. Far be it from me to nag! I know I would rather read about others than write about myself--I often just don't have the mental energy to quantify the stuff brewing or not brewing in my head. That's why I don't blog. Forgive me if you felt pressure from me. I was just ragging on you.
Toots and Courage, that's so exciting that you met and whiled away the day in conversation!
Steve, I'm sorry you're having so much temptation, but I admire you for having the strength to keep resisting when it's at its worst.
I will say that last night's gravy happened to be beef gravy for mashed potatoes; however, I am skilled at making homemade spaghetti sauce, too (though I call it "spaghetti sauce," not gravy. I also call it "soda" and not pop).
The way this online class is set up, I am practically anonymous. I don't know how many (if any) other people are taking the class at the same time. One thing I have done is set up a "Collaboration" to help me study for tests: I started a webpage dedicated to answering the professor's chapter questions. The other day I put up the answers to chapter 1--I woke up the next morning to find that another poster had added the answers to chapter 2. I don't know the poster's name, though, so I can't latch onto him as a study buddy!
I hope to dedicate the day to more answers. The collaboration page focuses me on the concrete questions and prevents me from looking at the notes and feeling overwhelmed and putting them down again.
Good to see you back, Soberjim and JJ!
Toots and Courage, that's so exciting that you met and whiled away the day in conversation!
Steve, I'm sorry you're having so much temptation, but I admire you for having the strength to keep resisting when it's at its worst.
I will say that last night's gravy happened to be beef gravy for mashed potatoes; however, I am skilled at making homemade spaghetti sauce, too (though I call it "spaghetti sauce," not gravy. I also call it "soda" and not pop).
The way this online class is set up, I am practically anonymous. I don't know how many (if any) other people are taking the class at the same time. One thing I have done is set up a "Collaboration" to help me study for tests: I started a webpage dedicated to answering the professor's chapter questions. The other day I put up the answers to chapter 1--I woke up the next morning to find that another poster had added the answers to chapter 2. I don't know the poster's name, though, so I can't latch onto him as a study buddy!
I hope to dedicate the day to more answers. The collaboration page focuses me on the concrete questions and prevents me from looking at the notes and feeling overwhelmed and putting them down again.
Good to see you back, Soberjim and JJ!
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
Ooh, MB you look hot!! Lol
Steve, in your shoes, I would be depressed. Working those hours, sleep deprived, no support, no hope of anything changing in the future? I would struggle to find a positive in my life. I feel your urge to drink is your personal acknoledgement that things can't keep going on as they are. I know the situation with your boss is hmm 'difficult?' But have you asked recently for reduced hours? You can't and won't change your wife's attitude, especially as it comes from a viewpoint of pure self interest. All you can do is change your way of coping. I have no clue how, but I do feel that is important. I add my voice to the chorus asking for more of you, selfishly because I miss you, but also because I know you do feel better for having the validation you receive here that you are a great guy who is doing an awesome job of maintaining your sobriety in the face of tremendous external pressures.
Airwick good to see you posting.
No one should be afraid here to post their opinion here, it will never be dismissed out of hand by anyone. Frequently here I see someone else's point of view posted and it forces me to look at a situation from a different viewpoint. Sometimes I still can't agree, other times I have that WOW! Moment and it helps me move forward from a block. The more people who offer advice, suggestions, viewpoints, the more we are able to challenge the way we a re dealing with situations in sobriety.
This sight has one aim. To get and to stay clean and to learn to live that way. Most drunks, even if they were 'party' drunks, are solitary in their ways of coping with life. Here, a lot of solitary drunks are getting together to help each other look not only at their own coping mechanisms and how to improve them, but also how to help others with theirs. So never, ever be afraid to speak up if you feel you have something you want to say.
( if only to stop me pontificating)
Sorry to disappoint, genuinely we were having such a good time yesterday we didn't even think of taking pictures! ( oh Courage, I bet the Paps have one or two though!). I guess I ought make a serious point here. This site is anonymous for a good reason, but it also allows us to show only what we want to of ourselves. I would always advocate erring on the side of caution before deciding to meet another member, whose agenda may not be as innocent as your own. Courage & I had been in social contact outwith SR prior to meeting and both felt 100% safe and comfortable about meeting. In our case, it was a wonderful experience, which I will happily repeat given the chance, ( you'd need to ask Courage if she feels the same!) but I feel we need reminding that we are fragile and perhaps a little needy in early recovery, so open to a potential abuse of trust.
Ok Toots lecture of the day over
Happy Sober Tuesday my dear Undies.
Steve, in your shoes, I would be depressed. Working those hours, sleep deprived, no support, no hope of anything changing in the future? I would struggle to find a positive in my life. I feel your urge to drink is your personal acknoledgement that things can't keep going on as they are. I know the situation with your boss is hmm 'difficult?' But have you asked recently for reduced hours? You can't and won't change your wife's attitude, especially as it comes from a viewpoint of pure self interest. All you can do is change your way of coping. I have no clue how, but I do feel that is important. I add my voice to the chorus asking for more of you, selfishly because I miss you, but also because I know you do feel better for having the validation you receive here that you are a great guy who is doing an awesome job of maintaining your sobriety in the face of tremendous external pressures.
Airwick good to see you posting.
No one should be afraid here to post their opinion here, it will never be dismissed out of hand by anyone. Frequently here I see someone else's point of view posted and it forces me to look at a situation from a different viewpoint. Sometimes I still can't agree, other times I have that WOW! Moment and it helps me move forward from a block. The more people who offer advice, suggestions, viewpoints, the more we are able to challenge the way we a re dealing with situations in sobriety.
This sight has one aim. To get and to stay clean and to learn to live that way. Most drunks, even if they were 'party' drunks, are solitary in their ways of coping with life. Here, a lot of solitary drunks are getting together to help each other look not only at their own coping mechanisms and how to improve them, but also how to help others with theirs. So never, ever be afraid to speak up if you feel you have something you want to say.
( if only to stop me pontificating)
Sorry to disappoint, genuinely we were having such a good time yesterday we didn't even think of taking pictures! ( oh Courage, I bet the Paps have one or two though!). I guess I ought make a serious point here. This site is anonymous for a good reason, but it also allows us to show only what we want to of ourselves. I would always advocate erring on the side of caution before deciding to meet another member, whose agenda may not be as innocent as your own. Courage & I had been in social contact outwith SR prior to meeting and both felt 100% safe and comfortable about meeting. In our case, it was a wonderful experience, which I will happily repeat given the chance, ( you'd need to ask Courage if she feels the same!) but I feel we need reminding that we are fragile and perhaps a little needy in early recovery, so open to a potential abuse of trust.
Ok Toots lecture of the day over
Happy Sober Tuesday my dear Undies.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
Courage, our posts crossed, I'm glad you are happy to repeat yesterday too!
As to bowing to Carlos and Tanya, we of course I would...happily...but it's my back you see.... Hahaha! I remember being soooo jealous of you guys that you got to meet!
GF, I meant to add my 2cents worth, I agree with everyone. Hard as it feels, I believe you need to stand firm on your boundaries and refuse to accept anything which makes you feel uncomfortable.
Gilmer, sounds like, as usual, you habpve begun to work on your own solution. I hope that mountain feels more like a small hill today.
Carlos, blog, don't blog, as you say keeping occupied is all that matters.
As to bowing to Carlos and Tanya, we of course I would...happily...but it's my back you see.... Hahaha! I remember being soooo jealous of you guys that you got to meet!
GF, I meant to add my 2cents worth, I agree with everyone. Hard as it feels, I believe you need to stand firm on your boundaries and refuse to accept anything which makes you feel uncomfortable.
Gilmer, sounds like, as usual, you habpve begun to work on your own solution. I hope that mountain feels more like a small hill today.
Carlos, blog, don't blog, as you say keeping occupied is all that matters.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Aliso Viejo, CA
Posts: 863
Hi undies,
Toots and Courage, so cool that you two met up in the real world!
Hang in there Steve. Sounds like you need to make some changes but I'm sure you know that.
Speaking of changes, it looks like there are some big ones coming around my home life. I think my stepdaughter is headed off to boarding school soon if I have anything to say about it. I've been struggling a lot with her and hubby hasn't been around to help. He tells me he's working while he's really out golfing. She lies to me and her teachers and when I try to talk to her she walks out and disappears. If there is any talk of discipline she threatens to harm herself. I know she's doing drugs and I can't seem to get all the parents involved to be consistent with her. For example, her mom is sending her to Europe this summer regardless of her behavior with me. Hubby is leaving for 10 days next week and I'm working 50 hour weeks, so I just can't babysit a 16 year old. I told her mom to take her back. She's refusing but is making boarding school plans. I'm past the point of feeling guilty about it. I just have zero effect on her. All the lying has put a strain on my marriage. She tells her dad one thing and I catch her doing something else and get caught in the middle. It's crazy. She needs constant supervision.
Had to vent about all that I guess. Thanks undies.
Having major urges to drink. Poured a sip of wine the other day and smelled it but that's it. Trying to go cycling a lot for a distraction but can only go a couple times a week. Hopefully things will settle down soon.
Toots and Courage, so cool that you two met up in the real world!
Hang in there Steve. Sounds like you need to make some changes but I'm sure you know that.
Speaking of changes, it looks like there are some big ones coming around my home life. I think my stepdaughter is headed off to boarding school soon if I have anything to say about it. I've been struggling a lot with her and hubby hasn't been around to help. He tells me he's working while he's really out golfing. She lies to me and her teachers and when I try to talk to her she walks out and disappears. If there is any talk of discipline she threatens to harm herself. I know she's doing drugs and I can't seem to get all the parents involved to be consistent with her. For example, her mom is sending her to Europe this summer regardless of her behavior with me. Hubby is leaving for 10 days next week and I'm working 50 hour weeks, so I just can't babysit a 16 year old. I told her mom to take her back. She's refusing but is making boarding school plans. I'm past the point of feeling guilty about it. I just have zero effect on her. All the lying has put a strain on my marriage. She tells her dad one thing and I catch her doing something else and get caught in the middle. It's crazy. She needs constant supervision.
Had to vent about all that I guess. Thanks undies.
Having major urges to drink. Poured a sip of wine the other day and smelled it but that's it. Trying to go cycling a lot for a distraction but can only go a couple times a week. Hopefully things will settle down soon.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
You've certainly done the best you could with your stepdaughter. At this point, I'm all for boarding school. I hope once she's gone you and your husband will get back to a good place.
Drinking won't make anything better. I'm preaching to myself as I write that, too! We are non-drinkers. Look what an a-hole your stepdaughter has become from indulgence. In various ways, our selfishness turns us all into a-holes when we indulge.
I hope after she leaves that you and your husband can get away for another pleasant trip. I hope in boarding school, your stepdaughter eventually calms down when she sees that there's no one to manipulate.
Drinking won't make anything better. I'm preaching to myself as I write that, too! We are non-drinkers. Look what an a-hole your stepdaughter has become from indulgence. In various ways, our selfishness turns us all into a-holes when we indulge.
I hope after she leaves that you and your husband can get away for another pleasant trip. I hope in boarding school, your stepdaughter eventually calms down when she sees that there's no one to manipulate.
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Hey Undies. Mind if I join in? I am on day 3 after somewhat of a revelation of sorts. You might say a deadly dream that jarred me. Anyway, i've been here before, as part of the class of March 2011. After a couple years, I fell off, and have been drinking since. This sometimes leads to Rx abuse and turns into a bad cycle. Right now, I am a bit brain-weary from all of it. I need to stop. I feel that death, which i unfortunately dont fear enough, could be a real result if I dont turn this train around. If I am to be alive again, it will only be through sobriety. I also feel terribly selfish and self-involved; living without much regard for others in most ways.
Not trying to paint a sad picture, just being realistic, even if it is a bit sad. Anyway, I could use a few new friends to go through this with, and I like what I've read of you all. Hope you are ok with me jumping in.
Not trying to paint a sad picture, just being realistic, even if it is a bit sad. Anyway, I could use a few new friends to go through this with, and I like what I've read of you all. Hope you are ok with me jumping in.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Welcome, Lofty! It's great to have you.
Oh, I finally figured out who my "secret" co-collaborator is. He put forth more valuable stuff this morning. I sent him an e-mail to say hi and thanks, and to say what a positive influence he was having on me. I didn't want to sound too much like a leech and a loser, but I did admit to struggling in this class and much appreciating the help. I'll let you know if he e-mails me back.
Oh, I finally figured out who my "secret" co-collaborator is. He put forth more valuable stuff this morning. I sent him an e-mail to say hi and thanks, and to say what a positive influence he was having on me. I didn't want to sound too much like a leech and a loser, but I did admit to struggling in this class and much appreciating the help. I'll let you know if he e-mails me back.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,027
Welcome, Loftyideals!
Nice to see you, Mags!
Gilmer, I hope the study relationship works out. I think with any goal you have, sobriety or learning or anything else, it helps a lot to have a human contact working towards the same thing.
Nice to see you, Mags!
Gilmer, I hope the study relationship works out. I think with any goal you have, sobriety or learning or anything else, it helps a lot to have a human contact working towards the same thing.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
No, I'm going for a Masters in Biblical Studies at Reformed Theological Seminary. I can do it all online. The first three classes were fine--but now i seem to have hit a wall, and that's what I've been whining about!
Edit: I just finished procrastinating and turned to my reading. Although I was pulling my hair out in chapter 1 of this book, I am very relieved by chapter 2: I can comprehend each sentence! Yippee!
Edit: I just finished procrastinating and turned to my reading. Although I was pulling my hair out in chapter 1 of this book, I am very relieved by chapter 2: I can comprehend each sentence! Yippee!
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
Welcome Lofty, pull up a chair.
Mags good to see you
Gilmer, I'm glad chapter 2 is easier & hope your email contributor can maybe become a study buddy. We stopped in McDs late last night on the drive home, & seeing some guys working on laptops I had to grin as I thought of you! X
Mags good to see you
Gilmer, I'm glad chapter 2 is easier & hope your email contributor can maybe become a study buddy. We stopped in McDs late last night on the drive home, & seeing some guys working on laptops I had to grin as I thought of you! X
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
Tigerlilli - CONGRATULATIONS ON 1/3 OF A YEAR OF SOBRIETY
That is a fantastic accomplishment. I still remember how reaching that milestone gave me a considerable amount of hope that sobriety was possible for me.
Welcome Loftyideals
This is a great group for support, friendship and wisdom.
Gilmer - Great that you found a study buddy and are having a better day!
That is a fantastic accomplishment. I still remember how reaching that milestone gave me a considerable amount of hope that sobriety was possible for me. Welcome Loftyideals
This is a great group for support, friendship and wisdom. Gilmer - Great that you found a study buddy and are having a better day!
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