areyoukittenme

It's true. And the time passes regardless of what we do with it. There's going to be a point 6 months, a year, 2 years down the road where we look back at what's happened and at the choices we've made. Personally, I've spent a lot more time waiting for the right time to make positive changes than I ever spent trying and failing. I believe now the latter would have been more productive.

Adnamaeel

I did the same, Kitten. I spent the better part of last year trying to figure out when I had time to detox myself. I'm so glad I stopped putting it off.

Noolan

Day 4.

Didn't mean to go MIA, but had back to back meetings with a new psychiatrist and my therapist. Both went very well, but left me quite drained. Then yesterday had a huge project and conference call over items I'm still learning at work and just came home and relaxed. Still dealing with strange cycles of sleep, but the cold sweats are starting to pass and today I'm starting to feel like myself

Mariah, I've very sorry to hear about your dog. I know how much of a gut punch that can be, so I will keep you in my thoughts.

Stay strong everyone. We. Can. Do. This.
Russell Brand: my life without drugs | Culture | The Guardian

Sulu1

Hey Noolan,

I totally get how stressful work situations are, I'm in so many meetings that I've not actually been trained for some days it leaves me so drained. On top of that with the psych I bet you're exhausted!

My night sweats went around day 3 or 4 so I hope you sleep a bit better tonight. Have you got a busy evening planned?

Personally I'm off to see the new Captain America and then I'm planning on finishing one of the books I'm reading at the moment, seems to keep me out of trouble.

Stay strong yourself

Adnamaeel

Noolan, I'm glad to see you back and sounding better. I love that article you posted. The first time I read anything by him, I was surprised by how well he writes.

topspin

Mariah ,
I know there's little I can say.
As time goes on , I remember all the good times , and joy my Shilo brought me.

Be kind to yourself , ...by protecting your sobriety, you'll be able to get through everything ; ,,...

Sending out thoughts and prayers

Noolan

Honestly just stay in read, rest, binge on Netflix. The 11 day break reminded me how good I feel when I don't abuse myself, so I'm keeping myself locked up for the weekend.

wildchild69

ST, I know exactly how you feel. EXACTLY. I too have emotional breakdowns where when I come out of them I feel embarrassment and remorse...Don't ever apologize here. We are all here for you. If you feel overwhelmed posting it here, find me personally. I've been through those breakdowns so many times. Just remember how AWESOME it is that you didn't cave. I am SO proud of you! That's gotta feel good in the morning right? Also keep in mind that alcohol will only make your emotions way worse...detoxing from it will definitely give you ups and downs....keep riding the waves and the sea will calm down eventually Honestly...keep up the good work! Oh and remember to take a step back and laugh at yourself...I've been practicing that and it really does help. I'm the boss right now at my job and I tell everyone all the time..."Oh and try not to take yourself too seriously...or anything for that matter." (I'm a pub manager, so I can say that and it really be true haha...my other quote "at the end of the day, it's just a bar") haha I digress... but Crying and laughing have a very similar release
Mariah, I'll be praying for you to be at peace, I'm so sorry about your dog! I'm glad you have a sober friend going with you. That's important. On a lighter note, I'm really into working out too! Not drinking completes my obsession with health haha
Stormi, good job! I'm glad your so proud cause you should be!!!
To everyone else!! Great Job! Keep on keeping on

wildchild69

Hey ALL! One last thing...I'm on my way to close a bar and I plan on doing it successfully! I will be posting on here when I get home I also just got back from a totally sober vacation! woohoo!

SolitaryThinker

Thank you wild! You sound pretty awesome yourself, I love your attitude!!!!! Thank you, for a guy I'm like superrrr emotional, I'm trying to get more of a grip on it. Honestly I slept a few hours before work and I was tired, but so so happy I wasn't hung over as well as still being on day 9. Also being tired is way easier not hung over, it's funny kinda like i would rather have 3 hours of good sleep then 8-9 hours of drunken passed out sleep.
-pub manager, you feel my pain! I work one night a week on a strip of bars and it's damn hard, I get along with everyone and temptation is hardcore. I think that's what sent me into a tizzy last night. It's hard, but good cash.

overwhelmd

Mood swing. Out of nowhere, I suddenly feel really antsy... like I could just jump out of my skin. Maybe because it's Friday night and that "old feeling" is welling up. What do you call it? The addictive voice? AV? Whatever it is, I wish I could strangle it, punch it, and pound it into a grave.

God this just SUCKS sometimes!!!

StormiNormi

OVERWHELMD, that is a splendid idea! Pillow fight anyone??? ;D
I suddenly had those feelings come over me 1/2 hour ago. I have been running all day. Just realized I have a couple of hours free, and my mind instantly went to alcohol. I knew I had to come here instead of dwelling on that thought. I hate that I feel such extremes one hour to the next. Hang in there.

overwhelmd

I think it's going to be a long night, Stormi. I can feel the evening stretching out before me like a lonely, dark highway.

StormiNormi

I am going to.go out for dinner and Good Friday Church services. I know distraction isn't always the best answer, sometimes we just have to feel what we have to feel, but today and perhaps tomorrow, I need to plan my sobriety. It isn't natural for us, so we need to be intentional; until it too, becomes a habit. 90 days.... only 84 more to go. Hope you find something enjoyable to pass you time with, overwhelmd.

SolitaryThinker

This was me last night, hang in there! I was using a breathing technique to calm myself down maybe that can help, hopefully you can relax somehow! Hopefully tomorrow is a better day <3

SolitaryThinker

im around all night if you feel like ranting on someone! I'm staying in tonight as well, gonna do some reading and have a Mediterranean dinner, message me if its too intense.

topspin

overwhelmed , I'm glad you recognize it , for what it is . ,,,... your addiction trying it's best to mess with ya

Last night Dee, and Zerothehero posted some good stuff about working thru that kind of thing , I'll try to link it ;;;..

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...pletely-2.html

You'll get thru this,,.....

or I've heard it put another way , " this too, shall pass"

Adnamaeel

It sounds like at least a few of us are in sort of dark moods right now, I kind of am too, and I'm feeling reflective and confessional.
I never mentioned what really made me finally get off of opiates, but it's been on my mind today, and I guess I'm ready to share.
The weekend before I started weaning myself I had an out of town art show. I was gone from Thursday through Sunday night, and stayed with old friends. Shows are exhausting, and I usually gave myself permission for at least a few extra pills, often more than a few, and if I was staying with people I'd also take a large amount before bed, so I wouldn't have to explain why I went from viciously sick to just fine over the course of an hour every morning. My friends are pretty sharp...
Saturday night was the last night I stayed there, and I couldn't remember if I'd taken my bedtime drugs or not, because I was pretty stupid from the already extreme amount I'd taken to get through the show that day. I figured I'd better take them right then, just in case. As I was reading in bed a while later, it became apparent that I had definitely already taken them, and had just very likely taken enough to keep me from ever waking up. I had basic overdose symptoms, cold sweat, overwhelming nausea, shaking, dizziness. I really thought it was probably my last night on earth, and the only thing I was especially disturbed about was that I had just put my friends in the horrible position of finding me dead in the morning, and then having to deal with having my remains removed from their house. I wasn't afraid at all, actually. Obviously I did wake up in the morning, finished my show and drove home that night. On the drive I kept telling myself that I really was going to start weaning myself off of opiates starting tomorrow. I had told myself the same thing a number of times, but this time I actually did it.
So there you have it, my sordid truth. Maybe it really will set me free...
Amanda

topspin

That's a powerful , and harrowing, story Amanda ,

I'm glad you shared that.

Grateful11

Mariah- thinking of you and your dear yorkie. So sorry.

Take good care of you!