Class of October 2013 - Part 11
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
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Originally Posted by fishoutawatta 
Bilr - WAY TO GO!
On the together/separate thread I kind of started . . . I love my wife (32 years in a few weeks), and my kids. But my personality type is "service oriented", and I tend to get to the point where I am not being served. My job, too, is pretty much a "serve-others" job. So, if I can claim time away and not have to cook someone else's meals, or tie on someone else's fishing tackle, and focus on mine, I find that pretty recuperative!
So, now it's a negotiation task with dear spouse (since it will me she'll be "full-on" with two kids, both headed to summer school).
WD, let me know how YOU do!
Fishy
On the together/separate thread I kind of started . . . I love my wife (32 years in a few weeks), and my kids. But my personality type is "service oriented", and I tend to get to the point where I am not being served. My job, too, is pretty much a "serve-others" job. So, if I can claim time away and not have to cook someone else's meals, or tie on someone else's fishing tackle, and focus on mine, I find that pretty recuperative!
So, now it's a negotiation task with dear spouse (since it will me she'll be "full-on" with two kids, both headed to summer school).
WD, let me know how YOU do!
Fishy
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Join Date: Sep 2013
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Fishy, I think in the stage of life we are in, raising children, everyone's fantasy (male or female) is for time by ourselves and for decisions to be made only for ourselves. I wouldn't want to lose my family, but I would love a teeny little charming cottage that is just my own, to decorate just how I want it to be, with no messes other than my own and my own little special bank account only to spend on me. 
I think we are in the give, give, give stage of our lives with kids and sometimes even our parents, and that is exasperated when we are in customer service oriented jobs. Then we feel selfish, when we feel resentful for all of the giving that we do. It is a frustrating time in life. I read that the stage we are in, people report the least life satisfaction, but the next stage is the one that people report the most life satisfaction. So, keep on keeping on . . . . the tide will turn!
I think we are in the give, give, give stage of our lives with kids and sometimes even our parents, and that is exasperated when we are in customer service oriented jobs. Then we feel selfish, when we feel resentful for all of the giving that we do. It is a frustrating time in life. I read that the stage we are in, people report the least life satisfaction, but the next stage is the one that people report the most life satisfaction. So, keep on keeping on . . . . the tide will turn!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
I spent a little time in special ed, both as a student and then years later a volunteer helper.
It was a very challenging job but a rewarding one.
I could only last a couple of months tho....I had trouble switching off when the bell went. The kids were awesome.
You have my respect Trudging.
D
It was a very challenging job but a rewarding one.
I could only last a couple of months tho....I had trouble switching off when the bell went. The kids were awesome.
You have my respect Trudging.
D
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
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I have an interview today at 5:00 pm with a different company. I also received an email from the company I interviewed with last month saying they were opening up the new position and will contact me with the next steps. I'll be out of town tomorrow through Friday at FSU, and then be traveling next week to Pennsylvania.
I got up this morning and ran 5 or 6 miles which is not something I would have done in my drinking days.
I got up this morning and ran 5 or 6 miles which is not something I would have done in my drinking days.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
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I will enjoy PA a lot. If there's one thing I miss about living in PA, it's the hills, and roads you can actually drive on with few cars. I also like the culture which is not something they have here, unless maybe you are Cuban.
I'm going on the interview today with zero expectations, and I'm going to make them sell me the job. I would certainly not hate having the rest of the summer off, if I'm going to be honest. I like being able to exercise at my own leisure, work around the house a little bit at a time, and just the non stress of it all. I did stress a lot about finding work up until a couple months ago but whatever happens, happens.
I'm going on the interview today with zero expectations, and I'm going to make them sell me the job. I would certainly not hate having the rest of the summer off, if I'm going to be honest. I like being able to exercise at my own leisure, work around the house a little bit at a time, and just the non stress of it all. I did stress a lot about finding work up until a couple months ago but whatever happens, happens.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
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Question for those of you who have had long blocks of sober time previously: Did your previous success with sobriety help you with your sobriety now? Did it make it easier (or harder) to get sober again?
I ask this because if any of you follow any of the other threads, a longtimer here named Doggone Carl just fell off the wagon after about 4-5 years sober. He has always answered threads so honestly, frankly and firmly, that I was seriously shaken with this news. This is my first attempt at sobriety, ever, and I like to think that if I were to ever slip, this 8+ months of sobriety would be proof to me that it is possible and worth it.
I ask this because if any of you follow any of the other threads, a longtimer here named Doggone Carl just fell off the wagon after about 4-5 years sober. He has always answered threads so honestly, frankly and firmly, that I was seriously shaken with this news. This is my first attempt at sobriety, ever, and I like to think that if I were to ever slip, this 8+ months of sobriety would be proof to me that it is possible and worth it.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
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DD, thanks for the luck! I'm sitting in my car killing time until 5:00.
As for DG Carl. I would only say that he is not me, and I am not him. I really don't know him, nor his struggles. I guess it goes to show that you have to remain vigilant, but I'll take my chances on me. He said he got high which leads me to believe he had troubles with more than just alcohol. I don't have a big history with drugs, other than smoking pot in my teens and early twenties.
As for DG Carl. I would only say that he is not me, and I am not him. I really don't know him, nor his struggles. I guess it goes to show that you have to remain vigilant, but I'll take my chances on me. He said he got high which leads me to believe he had troubles with more than just alcohol. I don't have a big history with drugs, other than smoking pot in my teens and early twenties.
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I know Carl quite well, and I was shaken by this news too. I don't know anymore than what he's posted so I won't speculate.
The bottom line is this thing is relentless - for all of us.
You can live in fear about that...or you can accept it's so, take precautions and keep your recovery 'well oiled' and ready to go.
All I can say from my perspective is I've built my life on being sober - should I ever have troubles, I hope I'll have the strength to reach out and ask for help.
D
The bottom line is this thing is relentless - for all of us.
You can live in fear about that...or you can accept it's so, take precautions and keep your recovery 'well oiled' and ready to go.
All I can say from my perspective is I've built my life on being sober - should I ever have troubles, I hope I'll have the strength to reach out and ask for help.
D
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
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The interview didn't go well but I kind of expected it due to the job description. I went anyway and it was good experience. Now I have to wait for the next steps for the other company I interviewed with. It seems like a better fit in terms of a company anyway.
Yeah Dee, I can't live in fear with other peoples relapses or if they choose to post again or not. If that were the case it would drive me crazy. I have to do what's best for my recovery and hope that it works. We all have thoughts, but like you said, it's your actions are what count. I will be staying in a hotel by myself the next two nights and it would be real easy to just give in to my AV. But it would just mean I'd be back where I don't want to be again.
Yeah Dee, I can't live in fear with other peoples relapses or if they choose to post again or not. If that were the case it would drive me crazy. I have to do what's best for my recovery and hope that it works. We all have thoughts, but like you said, it's your actions are what count. I will be staying in a hotel by myself the next two nights and it would be real easy to just give in to my AV. But it would just mean I'd be back where I don't want to be again.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
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Thanks, Dee...yes, most don't stay in sp. ed. for more than 5 years....that's the avg. burn out rate....I am one who tends to get my teeth into something and not let go....I taught, became a school administrator, a District Dept. Head, had a private practice in advocacy for families of students with special needs....and then retired from teacher status...lol. Well, I guess what goes around, comes around. Turns out that the very first parent I was an advocate for (her daughter, actually), is now practicing law again....she had taken time off when I met her to raise her family. I called her the other day, and lo and behold ..... she said the words "whistleblower' and "retaliation".....sooooo......needless to say, "Here we go again!" She is a brilliant woman who is also my friend....and she is helping me....ahhhh....gotta love Karma. Billr, sorry about the job...but, truly....things are "meant to be". A lot easier said than done...for me anyway. Struggling with fighting the good fight....DD, as for years of sobriety, followed by relapse....as you know, I can relate. In some ways, this time was easier because I KNEW what it felt like to be SOBER. I had more sober years than drinking ones.....BUT, it was also very different. I was in AA before....went to tons of meetings...worked the steps....yada, yada. I think I was sober for "them"....This time, I got sober for ME. I just didn't like ME anymore. I did not like who/what I had become as a drinking person. Part of me got sober before out of fear, that others (at work, or friends, etc.) might "find out"....of course they already knew. Sooooo....this time, although GETTING SOBER was MUCH MORE DIFFICULT, it is much easier STAYING SOBER Hope that helps to shed some light!
Hope that helps to shed some light!
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ohio
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The prospect of relapsing after a lengthy period of sobriety is, indeed, scary to contemplate.
We all need to create a new non-drinking life and that isn't easy. Recently, it has been on my mind that although I have been successful in not drinking for 7 months, I feel like I'm just beginning to understand some of the reasons why I abused alcohol. The feelings that led me to abuse alcohol are still there, so while I'm not drinking, the root causes for doing so remain.
The truth of the matter is that those "root causes" may always be with me. If that's the case, I need to find healthier ways to deal with these tendencies. But all of you know that!
Besides just avoiding alcohol, I'm trying to embrace not drinking as a virtue. Not that I look down on those who do drink. I actually grew up in a faith community where alcohol consumption was a no-no, so I do have way back in my brain somewhere the notion that sobriety is a virtue.
Rambling here folks ... I hope everyone has a great sober Wednesday!
We all need to create a new non-drinking life and that isn't easy. Recently, it has been on my mind that although I have been successful in not drinking for 7 months, I feel like I'm just beginning to understand some of the reasons why I abused alcohol. The feelings that led me to abuse alcohol are still there, so while I'm not drinking, the root causes for doing so remain.
The truth of the matter is that those "root causes" may always be with me. If that's the case, I need to find healthier ways to deal with these tendencies. But all of you know that!
Besides just avoiding alcohol, I'm trying to embrace not drinking as a virtue. Not that I look down on those who do drink. I actually grew up in a faith community where alcohol consumption was a no-no, so I do have way back in my brain somewhere the notion that sobriety is a virtue.
Rambling here folks ... I hope everyone has a great sober Wednesday!
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
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Root causes, that's an interesting question. I was brought up that drinking was accepted and beer was prevalent at family get togethers. My dad used to let me take a sip out of his beer as a kid, and I loved the taste even then. Fast forward to my teens and all my friends were into drinking, and it was always to get drunk. I slowed down in my twenties and early 30's but then the downward spiral of drinking at home due to boredom started. This was probably because I moved away from home, didn't have any local friends or family, and my wife was always working. So for me, being home alone will always be a trigger but since I've broken that cycle, it hasn't been very difficult to deal with.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
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Telling on myself, Tobers. Tomorrow is my son's graduation and I have been so tempted to have a glass of champagne to celebrate and then perhaps some wine with dinner. My feelings are all over the map from excited to melancholy to edgy, etc. and my heavy drinking extended family will be celebrating away and that makes me feel resentful. Need you guys to talk me out of this.
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