calichris

Just got back from a 10 hour day at work and 2 hours of tennis. Not feeling very social but 36 days ago that would have meant drinking myself to oblivion today it means making some night-time tea and saying goodnight. Love to you all. -Chris

FacingFuture

Wow! Good posts today everyone! I'm still catching up.

FacingFuture

AMEN Chris!!!! I'll have some tea and a peaceful night any day over the chaos that the "old me" induced by drinking alcohol.

calichris

Good night Marchers. At my hotel room checking in for the night and saying goodnight.... Relatively high cravings earlier but thank God and thanks to SR posts and chatting on SR I feel much better now... See you all on day 36 love and hugs to you all, Chris

Aarryckha

I'm off as well, my fellow Marchers.

Feeling a bit under the weather so I'm hoping will be a good night's sleep.

I hope everyone has a peaceful night, especially those who are struggling.

Dee74

Sleep well guys

D

Ilya

Hmm I've been busy all day nonstop. I am so tired. I hope Toddle didn't mean that, although I couldn't completely decipher.

Today was really hard. I was commiserating with a friend. Big trigger. I did not enjoy or feel strong, I white knuckled it. Salt salt salt salt

The only thing that kept me from drinking was just not drinking. Because I wanted one. I really wanted one and disagreed with myself choosing not to have one. Right now I feel that it wouldn't have made a difference but I'm sure in the morning I'll be grateful. Especially since I have to get up so early.

Heretic here. I feel like I've felt more effectiveness since I began to credit myself with more power. I don't do AA either. I'm finding a lot of strength here, it's the string around my finger. I'm still feeling slightly disgusted by the sauce. That helps. But higher power? Well I have always felt drawn to math and science to make me sense the higher power and the vastness of the universe. Feeling small and like my problems are in a wash of infinite little problems or celebrations or nosehairs or blades of grass or geologic movements... takes away the importance of the issue and is massively relieving to me. Because my subjectivity is removed and I'm not the focus and there is no focus. Just the grand chaos clock churning in fractal directions... That's god and higher power to me. Maybe that's what they mean -- to take away the importance (so to speak, I mean hierarchically) of you and remind you of the bigger picture, thus releasing a lot of worry and control because we really are just so small

Oy. What a day.

Dee74

Hope you can get some rest too Ilya

D

Ilya

Thanks. It's needed

toddle118

im alive, i have a habit of doing stupid things, taking too many pills is one, but my body just rides it through, Ilya you are strong and yes, you will be glad in morning, I look up at the sky sometimes and think how tiny we all are, still we can wreck so much damage, yes?

Dee74

I'm glad you're ok. A lot of folks were worried.

D

toddle118

Sorry, I dont like to post stuff online but was feeling low, now feel worse after 40 paracetamol, and dont want to worry ppl who are already struggling, it gets hard sometimes, and im alone, and feel vulnerable, very

Dee74

40 paracetamol is a lot in one hit. Maybe you should get checked out today, do you think?

D

toddle118

I dont want to go out, maybe i ring dr at 9, but trying to get driving license back so that puts a spanner in the works, if i could just get to the shop but leg says no, so here I sit, thank you for asking, its a difficult journey this, want to get off!

Looking4Help123

Hey Toddle hope you are doing ok. Perhaps you should ring someone. That sounds like an awful lot.

Getting off this journey is overrated!

toddle118

Im ok hun, was a silly idea, and it did nothing, it scares me to think it could have, but then I look at sharp knives and things, but thats another story, youre all doing good, and far braver than me x

Dee74

If you need help Toddle do look at those links I gave you by PM.

Talking about your feelings with someone trained to help may be the first step towards you doing well again too

D

toddle118

Im ok, and sorry to put this on you all, isnt fair on you all...I dont get anything from healthcare professionals, I was one, I sort of know it all, I'll be ok, just shouldnt post on here when had a drink or feeling bad, it helps no one

Dee74

No ones trying to make you stop posting Toddle.
No one wants that

I think we're all just trying to get you to get help - if you need it

D

toddle118

Well I kept posting rubbish lol, like sparkie said, feel like a fraud for giving advice and not adhering to it