Ipanema

To MrFixit63,

I surely know how you feel..alcohol affects the brain in such a way that Alcohol demands more and more. You feel powerless to control it. I thought I would live my life drinking wine 24/7 and have a nice little heavenly, peaceful day each day. Unfortunately, because I am an Alcoholic, as were most family members on both sides, I ended up trying to get sober. My Dad invited, well at that point, demanded I attend an AA Meeting with him. I was both curious and reluctant. Even at 35 years old, I was still seeking my Dad's approval. It turned out to be a life saving event that has continued to this day. When I get into the pity pot, stinking thinking and poor me, poor me, pour me drink!! mode, I know a meeting and SR will reset my brain to count my blessings and stay sober today.

Alcoholism has no known cure but it can be controlled by not drinking one day at a time. I hope you know I'm writing this from my heart as I believe we need to help each other. We understand each other immediately. We love that we know the cure and want to share it with you. I hope you continue on SR and give AA a try. I will pray that you will feel better and better each day sober. . God Bless, Ipanema

KimsFriend

It is the night of day 27 for me. I'm already in bed. Should be asleep. But instead I am fantasizing about sneaking downstairs and opening a bottle of wine and chugging it down straight from the bottle.

I am trying to picture my son, who is asleep in the next room. Or think of my husband who is snoring beside me, happily sleeping because he is able to finally rest easily now that he doesn't have to worry about me every night.

I wish this obsession with alcohol would just go away. I love the stories of some sober people who talk of how once they made the decision to hand their life over to their higher power they found the obsession lifted. I wait for that. I am trying to be patient. But God- how long do I have to wait?

Because I don't know how much longer I can deal with this pain. The pain of longing for something that will destroy me if I give in.

Anyway- I better just go to sleep before I do something I will regret. Tomorrow is a new day. Day 28 for me if I go to sleep now.

So goodnight.

Dee74

I'll be honest KF - I did not have the obsession lifted miraculously.

The first month was hard hard work, the second a little easier and by the third month I was starting to come to grips with things.

Things do get easier. You can do this. We all can.

Don't doubt that

I used to obsess about drinking literally 24/7 once...now, it's been many years since I've struggled with the thought of a drink.

D

biminiblue

Good job, KimsFriend.

I am one who hasn't obsessed - yet - I have fleeting moments. Very fleeting.

I also do not have alcohol in the house. I don't know how I would do under those circumstances.

You are doing really really well. Your son and husband and all of us are proud of you.

Sweet dreams and peace to you.

biminiblue

I do however have issues in my head. They aren't making me obsess over alcohol, but they are taking up way too much real estate in my life. So many years of stuffing the thoughts and emotions is bound to have repercussions. So I am dealing as best I can.

I miss my March friends here. I hope we find a way to heal together. It's been a tough week for this group.

Aarryckha

Feeling really sick today. Sorry I haven't been social.

I posted up some pics of some Easter cupcakes I had made two years ago.

You know, I had so much fun baking... homemade fondant and all!

Ipanema

To KF,

I am so proud of your almost a month of Sobriety! Just as Dee and others mentioned, the obsession will be lifted. Can you remove the Alcohol from your home? That would have been so hard to handle for me. I hate to see you dealing with that when your family needs you well rested from a good night's sleep. I have never kept alcohol in my home since getting sober. People are welcome to bring their own. But, people who drink are not very often around. After working my first job sober I had to attend a wedding. I was maybe 4 months sober. I didn't pay attention to the alcohol or what other's consumed.

I hope your obsession is lifted soon and you will better enjoy what your life can become as a sober wife and mother. Bless you, Ipanema

Looking4Help123

Hey Kimsfriend,

The moment will pass just like other moments, try to take a breath, accept the moment, even embrace it, and embrace the power you have over that moment.

I am dealing with similar moments, embracing it is a technique I learned when giving up smoking. It's about not fighting it but letting it slide. I think I was still fighting when i slipped at 28 days. I'm back at 2 weeks now. You can do it I know you can.

calichris

Hope you feel better Aarry and KF thanks for checking in rather than listening to that lying no good AV. You deserve better!
Good night Marchers. See you clear and sober tomorrow. Hugs, Chris

calichris

Stay strong Enfin and keep checking in with us. SR power to you!

toddle118

thank you for all your concerns, it means a lot to me, no im not going to get fixed, ooh and woke up to email from ex titled stupid b**th, oh ugly one too, which im not, is a bit difficult walking, pain i can deal with, emotional pain im not so good at, am so sad

Dee74

I afraid your leg won't get much better without medical attention toddle - but in the end thats your call to make.

Why not block your ex's emails?

Hows your sobriety going?

D

toddle118

terrible, im never drunk, but just sad

Dee74

I'm sorry to hear that Toddle
We can give you all the advice and support in the world, but unless you want to stop, there's not much any of us here can do.

Why not try and make today the day you stop drinking again?
what have you got to lose?

D

toddle118

who will look after me when shakes come no one

Dee74

If things are that bad, then you need to consider a supervised detox, Toddle.
Where's your mum in all of this? Can you ask her for help?

D

enfinthechange

Just so u know, i didn't give in!!! Still sober... Thanks to you all xxx

Toddle, find help, please, u have me worried, and everyone else...

Thanx dee for helping us all

I just made creme egg brownies.... Yummmmmmm

I will be fat, but sober!!! Big love xxx

Sparkos

Hi all. Haven't been posting much recently, but I am following your progress and, despite some struggles, you all seem to be OK(ish).

I think because of my mistake I don't really feel able nor willing to give much advice. So, if you'll humour me, I'll lean on you all by just reading for a while. Thanks.
I'm just keeping busy and sober.

Toddle, I wish I knew what to say to you, but recently your posts have grown increasingly confused and worrying. Please look after yourself and get more help than we can give you here.

Dee74

One mistake doesn't invalidate the enormous help or support you have, or you can, offer Sparkos....stop beating yourself up and move on

D

KimsFriend

Good morning. Day 28 for me.

I did not drink last night. But I couldn't sleep and I ended up curled up on my bathroom floor sobbing like a child. This woke up my husband who was angry because "we had such a nice day- why can't you just be happy?"

He was still angry this morning and no matter how much I tried to explain / apologize he just doesn't get it. Doesn't understand. I don't think anyone who isn't inflicted by this disease does truly understand.

He is angry because (as he puts it) he is trying to be supportive- not drinking, arranging his schedule so that I can attend meetings. Yet he wakes to find me sobbing because "you can't have wine".

I have attempted to make some phone calls (no one was available) and I am praying. And now I am posting.

I feel so broken. God why can't I be normal?