Class of April 2014 Part 2
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 158
Hi everyone, and welcome, Grateful and Owl. Just a quick mid-day check-in, I'm volunteering today (it's marvelous Topspin, you should try it. Oh, and I've been meaning to ask, does you particular topspin refer to billiards perchance?)
Don't have time today to make personal comments to posts, but I've read them and each of you is in my heart. Whether you're feeling strong or at your wit's end or bouncing around somewhere in between, I'm withya. We're in this together because we can't do it alone. If nothing else, we're making progress by figuring at least that much out! Beauty day to y'all. Later.
Don't have time today to make personal comments to posts, but I've read them and each of you is in my heart. Whether you're feeling strong or at your wit's end or bouncing around somewhere in between, I'm withya. We're in this together because we can't do it alone. If nothing else, we're making progress by figuring at least that much out! Beauty day to y'all. Later.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 684
Hi grateful. Welcome.
Topspin, I sometimes get stuck stewing on what someone said or did, or how I should have reacted to something, and the only thing that really helps is to try to figure out why I was so effected by it. Most irritations don't stick with me beyond the moment, so when they do, trying to figure out what my reaction says about me seems to help me let it go.
As far as the me, me, me thing, no matter how much you give of yourself, you still have to approach the world from within yourself. There's really no escaping it, but it is good to do stuff for the benefit of others.
Topspin, I sometimes get stuck stewing on what someone said or did, or how I should have reacted to something, and the only thing that really helps is to try to figure out why I was so effected by it. Most irritations don't stick with me beyond the moment, so when they do, trying to figure out what my reaction says about me seems to help me let it go.
As far as the me, me, me thing, no matter how much you give of yourself, you still have to approach the world from within yourself. There's really no escaping it, but it is good to do stuff for the benefit of others.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 11
this is the worst day I've had so far in sobriety. I'm in so much pain. the mixture of the good warm weather and it being saturday is the biggest temptation I've had so far. I am going to a meeting in two hours. I humiliated myself last weekend so bad to the point where I cried for days about what my coworkers thought of me and almost quit my job because of it and here I am sitting here feeling the pull to go out and do it all over again. I REFUSE. I don't think I have another week of shame and humiliation left in me.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 891
Hi April crew,
I posted this elsewhere in another forum but I thought i'd share it with you also.
it's only 5.45 am here on Sun morning in Melb and i've been awake since 3am. I'm not sure you could call it insomnia though..........my last memory is of going to bed at 1am on Sat morning after switching off a movie!!!! Yes, that's right........I completely missed Saturday.........i've slept 26 hours!!!! Didn't ( as far as i'm aware) even get up for a pee! Two boiled eggs, three cups of tea and four glasses of water and I feel ticketyboo. I've always been a lover of sleep.........that I can't deny, but 26 hours, WTF!!! Just goes to show how much my poor body is longing for recovery. I'm itching to get out there, join clubs, play sports, do more gym, more dance, do more, more, more..........but, seems like I should be listening to my body a bit more.
The funny thing is, when I woke up, my first thought (after i'd worked out it was night and not day time) was, oh ****, i've missed signing into the 24 hour club.............now had I woke up at 3am two weeks ago, my first thought would have been; did I leave a beer in the fridge last night for this morning!...........ugh, even thinking of that now makes me shudder.
This recovery lark is no walk in the park, but its so so much better than a stumble in the gutter.
Stay strong and keep fighting April crew.
Much love
LP x
I posted this elsewhere in another forum but I thought i'd share it with you also.
it's only 5.45 am here on Sun morning in Melb and i've been awake since 3am. I'm not sure you could call it insomnia though..........my last memory is of going to bed at 1am on Sat morning after switching off a movie!!!! Yes, that's right........I completely missed Saturday.........i've slept 26 hours!!!! Didn't ( as far as i'm aware) even get up for a pee! Two boiled eggs, three cups of tea and four glasses of water and I feel ticketyboo. I've always been a lover of sleep.........that I can't deny, but 26 hours, WTF!!! Just goes to show how much my poor body is longing for recovery. I'm itching to get out there, join clubs, play sports, do more gym, more dance, do more, more, more..........but, seems like I should be listening to my body a bit more.
The funny thing is, when I woke up, my first thought (after i'd worked out it was night and not day time) was, oh ****, i've missed signing into the 24 hour club.............now had I woke up at 3am two weeks ago, my first thought would have been; did I leave a beer in the fridge last night for this morning!...........ugh, even thinking of that now makes me shudder.
This recovery lark is no walk in the park, but its so so much better than a stumble in the gutter.
Stay strong and keep fighting April crew.
Much love
LP x
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 61
Checking in. I am feeling really good. I am trying to eat healthier and exercise besides not drinking and I am feeling so much better already! I am still tempted and the thought to drink enters my mind a lot, but I know the longer I stick with it I will get stronger and not think about it so much, or at all. Happy so many of you are hanging in there, or coming back , really hoping we can graduate this class and keep on staying sober!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: IL
Posts: 313
Hey guys just checking in.....had a nice productive day so far....went and got a pedicure with my mom, then I met up with a friend of mine who sells Arbonne bc I'm interested in possibly becoming a consultant. Got a LOT of great info about these vegan and gluten free products which I hope can become just another part of my healthier lifestyle, then got lunch with my husband and we went to a meeting. Tonight I'm making pasta and mixed veggies for dinner, and since it's really nice outside I want to sit on my front deck and read a bit before it gets dark outside. I was nervous for this weekend because I'm nearing two weeks completely sober and last time I was at two weeks, I smoked pot and had to start back at day 1. This time around is a lot easier though as I have been more active on these forums and have started going to AA meetings. I'm more determined than ever! I hope you're all having an amazing weekend and look forward to reading more of your updates 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
Hi everyone,
I have been sober for over two years and I wanted to congratulate you for being here and for joining this class.
My February 2012 quit class was a central reason I got through. I posted day and night. If no one was there then I answered my own posts! Lol
The point is, do whatever it takes to get some sober time under your belt. It is so worth it, and when you have your doubts and struggles as you will, then place your trust in the people who have gone before you.
Believe us. Sobriety is so worth it, and the longer you are sober, the more convinced of that you will become.
I have been sober for over two years and I wanted to congratulate you for being here and for joining this class.
My February 2012 quit class was a central reason I got through. I posted day and night. If no one was there then I answered my own posts! Lol
The point is, do whatever it takes to get some sober time under your belt. It is so worth it, and when you have your doubts and struggles as you will, then place your trust in the people who have gone before you.
Believe us. Sobriety is so worth it, and the longer you are sober, the more convinced of that you will become.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 684
I have a cold and sore throat, and took full advantage of them by being totally lazy today. I sent out a show application, and am rereading a fabulous book from a few years ago.
It's day 11 for me, and I have no desire for opiates at all.
Have a good evening, or whenever it is where you are. I hope you are all well.
It's day 11 for me, and I have no desire for opiates at all.
Have a good evening, or whenever it is where you are. I hope you are all well.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 181
Thanks for the encouragement, EternalQ. 
I had to go grocery shopping and the old AV almost got me. There's a neighboring state to mine where you can only buy beer and liquor in state-run stores and distributors, and I sure wish sometimes that was the case here too. It's tough walking past that entire aisle when I just want bread.
Made it out with nothing stiffer than caffeine-free Pepsi, though. Still good.
I had to go grocery shopping and the old AV almost got me. There's a neighboring state to mine where you can only buy beer and liquor in state-run stores and distributors, and I sure wish sometimes that was the case here too. It's tough walking past that entire aisle when I just want bread.
Made it out with nothing stiffer than caffeine-free Pepsi, though. Still good.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 158
K, y'all, I feel like a pill. Almost every single nerve in my nervous system wants to lie to you, to pretend I didn't f up, to be the April '14 poster girl for sobriety. But I just read a post by a doctor who's pissed that she got caught and is lying to her friends and I don't want to lie to y'all.
I'm on beer #4. And on cig #10. I bought a 4-pack of beer and a pack of cigs. So it's the last beer and halfway through the cigs. I hate that I've done this but at the same time I'm kinda impressed that I'm telling y'all. I'm a pretty freakin' good liar. Which REALLY sucks.
So, I'm posting now because I think there's a pretty close connection between my lying and drinking and smoking. I'm too buzzed to be very articulate right now, but I really DO want to get better so I'm trying something different.
I feel like apologizing, I feel like hiding, I feel like pretending this isn't happening, but something in me has been touched by something in y'all and is encouraging me to click on "Post Quick Reply". So here goes....
I'm on beer #4. And on cig #10. I bought a 4-pack of beer and a pack of cigs. So it's the last beer and halfway through the cigs. I hate that I've done this but at the same time I'm kinda impressed that I'm telling y'all. I'm a pretty freakin' good liar. Which REALLY sucks.
So, I'm posting now because I think there's a pretty close connection between my lying and drinking and smoking. I'm too buzzed to be very articulate right now, but I really DO want to get better so I'm trying something different.
I feel like apologizing, I feel like hiding, I feel like pretending this isn't happening, but something in me has been touched by something in y'all and is encouraging me to click on "Post Quick Reply". So here goes....
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
I'm glad you got that out Okra
Noones going to smack you around here
I think you do need to do something different tho - even something as simple as posting before you go out to the store could make a massive difference if there's a next time
D
Noones going to smack you around here
I think you do need to do something different tho - even something as simple as posting before you go out to the store could make a massive difference if there's a next time
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
Originally Posted by lovemesomeokra 
K, y'all, I feel like a pill. Almost every single nerve in my nervous system wants to lie to you, to pretend I didn't f up, to be the April '14 poster girl for sobriety. But I just read a post by a doctor who's pissed that she got caught and is lying to her friends and I don't want to lie to y'all.
I'm on beer #4. And on cig #10. I bought a 4-pack of beer and a pack of cigs. So it's the last beer and halfway through the cigs. I hate that I've done this but at the same time I'm kinda impressed that I'm telling y'all. I'm a pretty freakin' good liar. Which REALLY sucks.
So, I'm posting now because I think there's a pretty close connection between my lying and drinking and smoking. I'm too buzzed to be very articulate right now, but I really DO want to get better so I'm trying something different.
I feel like apologizing, I feel like hiding, I feel like pretending this isn't happening, but something in me has been touched by something in y'all and is encouraging me to click on "Post Quick Reply". So here goes....
I'm on beer #4. And on cig #10. I bought a 4-pack of beer and a pack of cigs. So it's the last beer and halfway through the cigs. I hate that I've done this but at the same time I'm kinda impressed that I'm telling y'all. I'm a pretty freakin' good liar. Which REALLY sucks.
So, I'm posting now because I think there's a pretty close connection between my lying and drinking and smoking. I'm too buzzed to be very articulate right now, but I really DO want to get better so I'm trying something different.
I feel like apologizing, I feel like hiding, I feel like pretending this isn't happening, but something in me has been touched by something in y'all and is encouraging me to click on "Post Quick Reply". So here goes....
I know being honest with ourselves is the only way to stay sober in the long run.
Take good care of yourself, tomorrow can be a fresh start!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 684
Ms Okra, I've felt like hiding and pretending this isn't happening for years now, I get it. I think we're all trying to learn how to not do that, and it isn't easy.
I also think telling on yourself is a positive step.
Dee makes good suggestions.
I also think telling on yourself is a positive step.
Dee makes good suggestions.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
Originally Posted by areyoukittenme
Thanks for the encouragement, EternalQ.
I had to go grocery shopping and the old AV almost got me. There's a neighboring state to mine where you can only buy beer and liquor in state-run stores and distributors, and I sure wish sometimes that was the case here too. It's tough walking past that entire aisle when I just want bread.
Made it out with nothing stiffer than caffeine-free Pepsi, though. Still good.
I had to go grocery shopping and the old AV almost got me. There's a neighboring state to mine where you can only buy beer and liquor in state-run stores and distributors, and I sure wish sometimes that was the case here too. It's tough walking past that entire aisle when I just want bread.
Made it out with nothing stiffer than caffeine-free Pepsi, though. Still good.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 272
Hey Okra-
Thanks for being honest. I'm on my third Day One this month, so I'm struggling too. We're here to support each other, not to be perfect. You'll begin anew, and do what you can to learn from this mistake.
Hang in there.
Thanks for being honest. I'm on my third Day One this month, so I'm struggling too. We're here to support each other, not to be perfect. You'll begin anew, and do what you can to learn from this mistake.
Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 155
It is admirable that you came to SR and posted. You are responsible and accountable for your actions and that is much better than just disappearing from SR. Sobriety is damn hard work and it is a roller coaster ride.
For anyone that needs to be refreshed, just try going for a walk in your neighborhood. Stay away from bars, or any place that sells alcohol. Do not take your phone or any music and just experience being outside and being aware of the sounds and smells. If I go for an hour walk, 30 minutes away from my apartment and 30 minutes back, I feel much better and my mind is clearer. It can really help when working through a craving or some anxiety.
Checking in on my second sober weekend. I was able to get outside and enjoy the beautiful weather. It is supposed to rain all night and I am glad I will be able to enjoy it in my cozy bed and not black out drunk!
For anyone that needs to be refreshed, just try going for a walk in your neighborhood. Stay away from bars, or any place that sells alcohol. Do not take your phone or any music and just experience being outside and being aware of the sounds and smells. If I go for an hour walk, 30 minutes away from my apartment and 30 minutes back, I feel much better and my mind is clearer. It can really help when working through a craving or some anxiety.
Checking in on my second sober weekend. I was able to get outside and enjoy the beautiful weather. It is supposed to rain all night and I am glad I will be able to enjoy it in my cozy bed and not black out drunk!
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