foolsgold66

Your depression meds are expensive, Else? I have a hard time imagining that. Mine are dirt cheap. I'd like to get off mine, but I don't know if I can. I tried once but went back on quickly because I began feeling very dissatisfied. Well, hell, maybe things were just dissatisfying.

The beef I have with depression meds is there's no scientific method involved. The doctors don't test or measure anything. It's just, are you feeling better or not? How would I know, I've been on them 15 years???

Elseware

Abilify costs me 700 dollars a month.

Elseware

FG You're right about the prescriptions. There does seem to be a lot of trial and error involved. I just hope somebody is writing some useful papers about all this. We're all lab rats when you get right down to it. I've been reading some of studies. The "N" numbers are awful low on some of them.

Oceanlady

I also have taken a low dose for many years and have tried stopping and do always return. Doctor has explained the seratonin levels and depression. But, your right , there is know way to measure...

Venecia

I hope you feel better soon, Elseware. Hugs.

kadidee

Else, I was prescribed Abilify a couple years ago, and I got them from a Canadian pharmacy online. So much cheaper--about $90 for a three month supply. Ask your psychiatrist about it...I don't take it anymore though so don't remember the website address.

ETA--if I remember correctly, it was cheaper to buy the pills with higher dosage and then cut them in half.

kadidee

Sorry to hear about all the allergy-sufferers. I've never experienced that for some reason, but I know it's frustrating. Oceanlady, sounds like you had a great trip! You exercised some new sober muscles.

Else, I do hope you feel better soon. Meditating has been helping me this past week. I don't do it for very long in one sitting, but even if I can push through for 15 minutes, I can tell a difference throughout the day.

Elseware

Yes I found a Canadian pharmacy to help. They will charge 1/3 the price and I do believe the med will be going generic in April 2015. That should fix it for me. My insurance will not pay for psych meds. They will only pay if I have to go to the hospital

advbike

Elsewhere - sorry to hear of your problem but glad youu are finding some relief with the concept of a higher power. Don't overthink it - just let it be whatever you want - the Great Spirit, the force of nature, our shared unconscious (Jungian), whatever.

Oceanlady - it is not uncommon to feel depressed after completing a milestone event, or big project, or other such things. And you certainly "climbed Mt Everest" in the last month or so down there in Florida! Not surprising at all.

Ha ha, it turned my "allergies" was a cold too. Wow - hard to believe with the weather getting so nice. Pretty much over it already.

advbike

Ugh - I tried one of those mild anti-depressant things several years ago that was also supposed to help with mild OCD I think, heck I don't remember. I think it was an SSRI. anyway, certain male things didn't work quite right for the next few weeks and I quickly decided there and then I would take the mild depression and ocd, rather than face that prospect. My therapist at the time said "oh, no problem, there are SIX of them we can try", ha ha, no thanks!

foolsgold66

I thought abilify was an add-on. I've just been on boring old prozac for 15 years. I don't know, I mean how would I know what good this ssri rx is doing if I never stopped taking it? I never had any real side affects in the first dozen years, but may be dealing with some now. They know about these seratononin levels, so why the heck don't they measure them before\after you take an rx? What's the baseline? What's normal? How do you know what's too much or too little? Guess? Frustrating. Not science. I can guess myself without paying people with fancier educations to sanction it.

kadidee

FG, when I was on Abilify, it was an add-on to lexapro. I've also tries Zoloft, Effexor, buspar, and for a brief time post-divorce, Xanax. Prozac is tried and true, but I've never been prescribed. I have no idea how they figure out which meds to suggest. I always had the same questions you're asking...they would say 'how do you feel?', but it was hard to say what I would otherwise be experiencing that day sans meds. I don't think they can measure serotonin levels, at least not in a process that would be affordable for a routine psych visit. My mom and sister are both on Prozac and swear by it.

advbike

Personally I think we overmedicate folks. Life is not always meant to be happy, otherwise how would we know what happy is? Kalil Gibran had something to say about that in The Prophet. One of my therapists also once agreed with me that life is depressing at times, especially if we aren't medicating in some way. People are starving, life is unfair and subject to chance, there are meaningless wars, etc. How could any thinking person not have some depression when faced with that?

advbike

Sorry, had a double post.

Elseware

The Ability goes with Zoloft. It has been helping a lot. If I don't stop taking it. I was feeling better and thought I was cured or something. And 700 dollars? Cheesh! But at least there's Canada. I'm feeling better again. My doctor is such a good guy. When I am with him it's like he does not have a thing else to do in the world. That is rare and a great talent. He also makes no judgement. I feel very lucky to have found him. Maybe my HP has been looking out for me after all. This meditation has helped me. Actually it's sorta more like praying when I do it. A feeling of openness and acceptance comes to me.

Depression, I think, is different than sadness or grief. In that it is pathological. It is normal to feel existential angst but it is not normal to be unable to carry on with your life. It's "normal" to feel depressed for a couple of weeks. I never wrote much about how severely I was effected because I felt ashamed. I tried to keep a good face on. I have everything to live for but I was barely getting by. Staying in bed a lot. Unable to eat. I could barely do anything. Not even get dressed. Everything was going to pieces around me. I was going down. I was like this for about 2 months before I saw the doc. I have side effects from the meds which I don't like but nothing is free, I guess.

foolsgold66

Yeah, I have gotten get darned close to to that level of depression before, Else. It is very hard.

I am kinda struggling to reconcile my depression meds with what I believe may be side affects right now, and with some other medication\doctor issues with a specialist. I'm just gonna let it be, I see my GP in a few weeks, I'll discuss with him some.

Hey, btw guys, I've lost some more weight, not sure how much but I can fit in shorts I couldn't fit in 9 months ago. So I'm guessing maybe 15 pounds down since August last year, weight I could afford to lose for sure.

kadidee

Else, I'm glad you're finding some relief with the meds--please don't stop taking them. And your doctor sounds wonderful. I have experienced the kind of depression you describe, and it is so debilitating. The way it was described to me once is that when we reach that level of depression, the meds provide the lift we need to do things we know are healthy for us. So that although they don't fix everything, at least we are then able to take some initiative to work on the things that need healing. And please don't ever be ashamed to express how you are feeling here. You are among friends. But I know what you mean--sometimes when I'm going through a hard time, like the week before last, I find it difficult to put it out there. But I always feel better when I do.

FG, yay on weight loss. Shorts weather, here you come!

advbike

Thanks for clarifying that Else. Yes, I was referring to the sadness I often feel when reading about current events, faced with the poverty in third-world countries, etc. You're right - that's a lot different from not being able to get out of bed. I personally have never felt that level of depression and for that I feel grateful.

I went to a great Men's Group AA meeting this morning. It is always rewarding and the topics are always relevant. Today it was about surrendering. One guy put it really well -after he hit rock bottom and still was refusing to go to AA or work his program, he finally realized it was "better to surrender to the cure than the disease", ha ha. So true of us addicts - we always refuse to do what we need to do because we think we know better, or that we are still in control of things.

Dee74

Well I've needed medication for depression at various times.
I have real doubts as to whether I'd be here to type this if I hadn't used them.

D

Venecia

I know the feeling, Dee.

A long time ago, I made a bad decision in taking a new job; it was rough on me. Eventually, I was diagnosed with severe depression. One of the defining characteristics was a sense of hopelessness. The anti-depressants were a godsend. And my career was ultimately redefined and solid. I think, though, that the origins of my alcoholism are in there somewhere. The escape from feelings ... the pursuit of numbness. So the meds provided the lift out of depression that Kadi described, but I'm the one who didn't make healthy decisions in the aftermath. But I lived.

With the benefit of sobriety, a lot of things come into clearer perspective. There are things in my life that make me sad, but it's a far cry from the hopelessness that was once so pervasive, as Elseware notes. And terrifying.

Dealing with the things that make us sad or anxious is a different matter, like Advbike wrote. Over the last couple months, I've become convinced that aerobic exercise is essential. At least for me. The combination of exercise and sobriety have given me a clarity that I've not experienced in a long time. It helps a lot.

Besides, the Recovery Fairy is still AWOL. I guess the heavy lifting is up to me.