Class Of March 2014 Part 7
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by FortWorthsober 
I'm on Day 17. Dealing with habit adjustment. I am continuing to look forward! But I have to glance back periodically and remember how miserable I was in my unsober state. It makes me all the more grateful for my sobriety!
Editor
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Pensacola, Florida
Posts: 1,516
Lookinforward present
BiminiBlue...I know how you are feeling...I have been the AA route and didnt feel like I was in the right place when I was there....although I did gather some great insight while I was there....I felt that AA wasnt the right fit for me.
There are other options.
I am not really and advocate of any...except one.
What did feel right was SR
I am back here after a 1.5 year slip. This place is outstanding...I find that we all have a place in our hearts to share and the need to heal...for me it is easier to do it with a little bit of anonymity.
Why did I slip....curiosity...fooling myself into thinking that I could handle one day with my toes in the sand...in reality....I was just a DA.
I am basically starting over...but with the grace of love and compassion....I will heal and grow.
Ramble on Marchers
DAve
BiminiBlue...I know how you are feeling...I have been the AA route and didnt feel like I was in the right place when I was there....although I did gather some great insight while I was there....I felt that AA wasnt the right fit for me.
There are other options.
I am not really and advocate of any...except one.
What did feel right was SR
I am back here after a 1.5 year slip. This place is outstanding...I find that we all have a place in our hearts to share and the need to heal...for me it is easier to do it with a little bit of anonymity.
Why did I slip....curiosity...fooling myself into thinking that I could handle one day with my toes in the sand...in reality....I was just a DA.
I am basically starting over...but with the grace of love and compassion....I will heal and grow.
Ramble on Marchers
DAve
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by lookinforward
Lookinforward present
BiminiBlue...I know how you are feeling...I have been the AA route and didnt feel like I was in the right place when I was there....although I did gather some great insight while I was there....I felt that AA wasnt the right fit for me.
There are other options.
I am not really and advocate of any...except one.
What did feel right was SR
I am back here after a 1.5 year slip. This place is outstanding...I find that we all have a place in our hearts to share and the need to heal...for me it is easier to do it with a little bit of anonymity.
Why did I slip....curiosity...fooling myself into thinking that I could handle one day with my toes in the sand...in reality....I was just a DA.
I am basically starting over...but with the grace of love and compassion....I will heal and grow.
Ramble on Marchers
DAve
BiminiBlue...I know how you are feeling...I have been the AA route and didnt feel like I was in the right place when I was there....although I did gather some great insight while I was there....I felt that AA wasnt the right fit for me.
There are other options.
I am not really and advocate of any...except one.
What did feel right was SR
I am back here after a 1.5 year slip. This place is outstanding...I find that we all have a place in our hearts to share and the need to heal...for me it is easier to do it with a little bit of anonymity.
Why did I slip....curiosity...fooling myself into thinking that I could handle one day with my toes in the sand...in reality....I was just a DA.
I am basically starting over...but with the grace of love and compassion....I will heal and grow.
Ramble on Marchers
DAve
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Thanks, lookinforward.
It just feels weird to me that AA wants you to do al these steps and they just hammer it in at every meeting. I swear it sounds cultish to me. I'm just really lonely, and enjoy being around people, but not at all interested in their timeline for me. At. All. That leads me to frustration and anger. Plus they all preach the gospel of the "fellowship" but I've been to 35 meetings and if I don't do the reaching out, it doesn't really get done at all. I'm too fragile in new sobriety to be able to reach out. I'm going from total isolation (no job, no family, no friends) into a structured group of people - a lot of whom know each other and have for many years. I feel like I'm in high school again, and once again I'm the outsider who everyone sort of puts up with.
Get a sponsor, they say. WTF? How? Just walk up to some stranger and say, "Hey, I'd like to spend many hours with you revealing the depths of my soul so you can help me." SO not gonna happen in this lifetime.
/AA ranting.
maybe.
It just feels weird to me that AA wants you to do al these steps and they just hammer it in at every meeting. I swear it sounds cultish to me. I'm just really lonely, and enjoy being around people, but not at all interested in their timeline for me. At. All. That leads me to frustration and anger. Plus they all preach the gospel of the "fellowship" but I've been to 35 meetings and if I don't do the reaching out, it doesn't really get done at all. I'm too fragile in new sobriety to be able to reach out. I'm going from total isolation (no job, no family, no friends) into a structured group of people - a lot of whom know each other and have for many years. I feel like I'm in high school again, and once again I'm the outsider who everyone sort of puts up with.
Get a sponsor, they say. WTF? How? Just walk up to some stranger and say, "Hey, I'd like to spend many hours with you revealing the depths of my soul so you can help me." SO not gonna happen in this lifetime.
/AA ranting.
maybe.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Atlantic Beach, NY
Posts: 246
[QUOTE="biminiblue;
Last night I could not stop crying at an AA meeting. @#$! that seriously pisses me off. I think it's a combination of feeling like I'm in some cult that I have to follow to the letter or get shunned and the fact that I have no family at all and right now I'm without a close friend - other than you guys. I REALLY do not like being called on to 'share' in meetings. If I don't talk, everyone asks if I'm okay? How the eff do I know? Give me a break, people. Okay, so I have a resentment. Or a thousand. Mayhaps they will go away at some point. Too many meetings lately, I think. I remember thinking in the past that people gave up alcohol and then got obsessed with AA. I'm confused. I'm also apparently not in the best mood today. *lesigh*[/QUOTE]
I am so sorry you are not finding your comfort zone.
I wish I could pull you through the computer and bring you to one of the meetings I went to in my area this weekend- people literally swarmed around me at the end offering phone numbers and support and hugs (women).
And two women have already offered to be my sponsor. I am meeting one of them tonight.
But AA is not the only solution- as someone said- there are other options.
Hugs from NY.
Last night I could not stop crying at an AA meeting. @#$! that seriously pisses me off. I think it's a combination of feeling like I'm in some cult that I have to follow to the letter or get shunned and the fact that I have no family at all and right now I'm without a close friend - other than you guys. I REALLY do not like being called on to 'share' in meetings. If I don't talk, everyone asks if I'm okay? How the eff do I know? Give me a break, people. Okay, so I have a resentment. Or a thousand. Mayhaps they will go away at some point. Too many meetings lately, I think. I remember thinking in the past that people gave up alcohol and then got obsessed with AA. I'm confused. I'm also apparently not in the best mood today. *lesigh*[/QUOTE]
I am so sorry you are not finding your comfort zone.
I wish I could pull you through the computer and bring you to one of the meetings I went to in my area this weekend- people literally swarmed around me at the end offering phone numbers and support and hugs (women).
And two women have already offered to be my sponsor. I am meeting one of them tonight.
But AA is not the only solution- as someone said- there are other options.
Hugs from NY.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by Cara39
You're all doing so well!
Day 5 and AV is starting to talk to me....have told him I'm not interested so he can eff off....quiet for now
Glad to be here and sober.
Day 5 and AV is starting to talk to me....have told him I'm not interested so he can eff off....quiet for now
Glad to be here and sober.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by Aarryckha
Sparkos. Present, correct and sober.
KimsFriend. Present, correct and sober.
Toddle 118. Present, correct and sober.
Aarrycckha. Present, correct and sober.
KimsFriend. Present, correct and sober.
Toddle 118. Present, correct and sober.
Aarrycckha. Present, correct and sober.
Sparkos. Present, correct and sober.
KimsFriend. Present, correct and sober.
Toddle 118. Present, correct and sober.
Aarrycckha. Present, correct and sober.
calichris: Present, correct and sober.
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Originally Posted by kopfan
Morning everyone!
I made it into another month for the first time instead of starting over again in a new month class. Woohoo!
This month I'm going to start getting myself together physically and start eating properly. I've given myself some slack up till now but you can't swap an alcohol addiction for chunky kit kat's and topics!
This month my goal is to lose at least half a stone and start buying myself a new smarter wardrobe instead of wearing trackie bottoms and old t-shirts.
Good luck everyone this month and look out for those April Fools!
Kopfan.
I made it into another month for the first time instead of starting over again in a new month class. Woohoo!
This month I'm going to start getting myself together physically and start eating properly. I've given myself some slack up till now but you can't swap an alcohol addiction for chunky kit kat's and topics!
This month my goal is to lose at least half a stone and start buying myself a new smarter wardrobe instead of wearing trackie bottoms and old t-shirts.
Good luck everyone this month and look out for those April Fools!
Kopfan.
I'm going to join you in that goal, eating better and being more physical. I was very lax for the first three weeks or so. I might rethink getting ice cream at the store. However, ice cream is one of those things I can take or leave.
I got my Fitbit about a week ago. I think instead of trying to lose x-amount of weight, I'm just going to make sure I get my 10,000 steps a day. I have in the past tried to make really strict rules and it just sets me up for failure.
Good luck to you in your goals!
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Originally Posted by KimsFriend
Ha ha! Thanks Dee- for a moment I thought I was hallucinating!
So day 10 for me. Wow. Double freakin Digits.
I had therapy last night. Then walked outside and called my sponsor and kept her on the phone for 1/2 and hour. Then came home and poured my heart out to my husband who pretty much just laid there stunned (he is sick and was lying in bed trying to rest). I don't know where this sudden burst of talkativeness is coming from - not like me at all. Well- except if I was 3 sheets to the wind!
My son (he's 2) woke up crying and screaming at 4am -must have been a nightmare. It felt great to cuddle and sing him back to sleep without worrying if I reeked of booze.
Ok - I should probably shut up now. I feel like I'm rambling again !!
(Who am I??!!)
So day 10 for me. Wow. Double freakin Digits.
I had therapy last night. Then walked outside and called my sponsor and kept her on the phone for 1/2 and hour. Then came home and poured my heart out to my husband who pretty much just laid there stunned (he is sick and was lying in bed trying to rest). I don't know where this sudden burst of talkativeness is coming from - not like me at all. Well- except if I was 3 sheets to the wind!
My son (he's 2) woke up crying and screaming at 4am -must have been a nightmare. It felt great to cuddle and sing him back to sleep without worrying if I reeked of booze.
Ok - I should probably shut up now. I feel like I'm rambling again !!
(Who am I??!!)
Just think, many more happy sober days to spend with your little boy!
And you know, talk away! To anyone. Sponsor, therapist, hubby, here on SR. That's what we're here for!
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Originally Posted by toddle118
Thanks hun, I ignored it for ages and just woke up and thought who is she to judge me? Whats more I didnt even ask to see them! Ignoring is the best way to go I agree, so I took a deep breath and smoked 3 cigarettes (not all at once lol) and let the feelings flow over me. I will not give in to that AV!!!
I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I can kind of guess who is giving you a hard time and I'm hoping the situation gets better. Stay strong and stay sober
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Originally Posted by MrFixit63
Okay I made it through the night it was a little bit rough and I made it I did not feel very well at all but now I do that made my day 14 today.
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Originally Posted by biminiblue
New thread. I'm happy to see all the old regulars have found us - and welcome to the newcomers.
Last night I could not stop crying at an AA meeting. @#$! that seriously pisses me off. I think it's a combination of feeling like I'm in some cult that I have to follow to the letter or get shunned and the fact that I have no family at all and right now I'm without a close friend - other than you guys. I REALLY do not like being called on to 'share' in meetings. If I don't talk, everyone asks if I'm okay? How the eff do I know? Give me a break, people.
Okay, so I have a resentment. Or a thousand. Mayhaps they will go away at some point. Too many meetings lately, I think. I remember thinking in the past that people gave up alcohol and then got obsessed with AA. I'm confused.
I'm also apparently not in the best mood today. *lesigh*
Last night I could not stop crying at an AA meeting. @#$! that seriously pisses me off. I think it's a combination of feeling like I'm in some cult that I have to follow to the letter or get shunned and the fact that I have no family at all and right now I'm without a close friend - other than you guys. I REALLY do not like being called on to 'share' in meetings. If I don't talk, everyone asks if I'm okay? How the eff do I know? Give me a break, people.
Okay, so I have a resentment. Or a thousand. Mayhaps they will go away at some point. Too many meetings lately, I think. I remember thinking in the past that people gave up alcohol and then got obsessed with AA. I'm confused.
I'm also apparently not in the best mood today. *lesigh*
I'm sorry you're having a bad day.
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Sparkos. Present, correct and sober.
KimsFriend. Present, correct and sober.
Toddle 118. Present, correct and sober.
Aarrycckha. Present, correct and sober.
calichris: Present, correct and sober.
Nonna11 Present, correct and sober. (Per her request)
KimsFriend. Present, correct and sober.
Toddle 118. Present, correct and sober.
Aarrycckha. Present, correct and sober.
calichris: Present, correct and sober.
Nonna11 Present, correct and sober. (Per her request)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Santa Barbara, SoCal
Posts: 561
So I slipped up.
Actually not a slip up more like an epic fail lol.
Had a good time though so there's that.
I am not going to allow myself to feel bad about it. Its wasted energy.
I am back on the wagon today and hopefully this time I will make it to 8 days (super proud of myself for making it a week. Couldn't have done it without you guys).
I know all of you aren't a fan of moderation as you shouldn't be. I just cant wrap my head around not drinking FOREVER.
But, back on the wagon. Day 1! Guess I am class of April now
Actually not a slip up more like an epic fail lol.
Had a good time though so there's that.
I am not going to allow myself to feel bad about it. Its wasted energy.
I am back on the wagon today and hopefully this time I will make it to 8 days (super proud of myself for making it a week. Couldn't have done it without you guys).
I know all of you aren't a fan of moderation as you shouldn't be. I just cant wrap my head around not drinking FOREVER.
But, back on the wagon. Day 1! Guess I am class of April now
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: deepest england
Posts: 1,119
Ha, found you!! All the catch up took me 20 mins to read, wow, but at least sitting in garden listening to birds tweet, kids argue and drinking decaff coffee... Defo abeer moment, but no craving!!! I can totally relate to feeling like crap, I have been I'll since giving up 25 days ago,now it is a permanent headache, 5 days long,urgh.... But just hanging in,waiting to feel better and not so awful.
The av says, drink,you'll feel better, but it can get stuffed!!!!
Glad to see u all here and well... Happy April,let's hope we all sober in may... Xx
The av says, drink,you'll feel better, but it can get stuffed!!!!
Glad to see u all here and well... Happy April,let's hope we all sober in may... Xx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: deepest england
Posts: 1,119
sparkos. Present, correct and sober.
KimsFriend. Present, correct and sober.
Toddle 118. Present, correct and sober.
Aarrycckha. Present, correct and sober.
calichris: Present, correct and sober.
Nonna11 Present, correct and sober.
enfin, present, correctish and sober!!!
KimsFriend. Present, correct and sober.
Toddle 118. Present, correct and sober.
Aarrycckha. Present, correct and sober.
calichris: Present, correct and sober.
Nonna11 Present, correct and sober.
enfin, present, correctish and sober!!!
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