Class of January 2014 Part 8
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 244
Not feeling great this evening. Work went well but went downhill rapidly after work. Maybe I expended too much energy in work. I was in great form around lunch time, beaming, smiling but it didn't last.
My anxiety is sky high now again. I just need to go to bed.
My anxiety is sky high now again. I just need to go to bed.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Surprise AZ
Posts: 293
Originally Posted by adee 
Good morning, all.
Feeling worried, panicky, tired, overwhelmed and under appreciated today. I'm getting ample opportunity lately to work on the part of me that needs the "gold star" from others to feel validated. You know it's bad when you visualize yourself yelling "YOU'RE WELCOME!!!" to multiple people in your daily life (in the absence of their "thank you"). Everyday is a growth opportunity (said only slightly sarcastically). If anything, this feeling reminds me today to thank the people in my life who are helping me, so THANK YOU all.
I have the serenity prayer written on a sticky on the side of my desk that generally only I see. Today my goal is to remember to read it when I feel overwhelmed. And to go running again. Adding health to my life bit by bit will help crowd out the negative. That's the thought anyway.
All this aside, it is wonderful to wake up clear and clean and I'm grateful that I can go through these uncomfortable feelings without the drink obsession. I read this quote this morning in my book of reflection: "Simply be a shore and let your feelings wash across you like waves." I feel very uncomfortable lately, but I FEEL that, honestly and truly, and feeling something without escape doesn't make me break into a million pieces. Who'd have thunk it?
Have a good day/evening depending on where you are everyone.
Feeling worried, panicky, tired, overwhelmed and under appreciated today. I'm getting ample opportunity lately to work on the part of me that needs the "gold star" from others to feel validated. You know it's bad when you visualize yourself yelling "YOU'RE WELCOME!!!" to multiple people in your daily life (in the absence of their "thank you"). Everyday is a growth opportunity (said only slightly sarcastically). If anything, this feeling reminds me today to thank the people in my life who are helping me, so THANK YOU all.
I have the serenity prayer written on a sticky on the side of my desk that generally only I see. Today my goal is to remember to read it when I feel overwhelmed. And to go running again. Adding health to my life bit by bit will help crowd out the negative. That's the thought anyway.
All this aside, it is wonderful to wake up clear and clean and I'm grateful that I can go through these uncomfortable feelings without the drink obsession. I read this quote this morning in my book of reflection: "Simply be a shore and let your feelings wash across you like waves." I feel very uncomfortable lately, but I FEEL that, honestly and truly, and feeling something without escape doesn't make me break into a million pieces. Who'd have thunk it?
Have a good day/evening depending on where you are everyone.
Also for what its worth, in my early days of sobriety you were a driving force in keeping me sober. I will ALWAYS appreciate you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Hi Classmates, I feel bad for not posting more often here... but those that follow SR in more general terms, may see my commitment..
Here is something those of you who grew up in the 1980's and 90's can relate better... anyhow:
The Cure - Lovesong (Official Video) - YouTube
This is how I feel about SR
Here is something those of you who grew up in the 1980's and 90's can relate better... anyhow:
The Cure - Lovesong (Official Video) - YouTube
This is how I feel about SR
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
Adee and Finnie, life can be exhausting at times, even in good times. Hang in there but try to take some "time out" for yourselves so that you can recharge your batteries.
Adee, I actually do say "you're welcome" many times to unappreciative family members; it usually precedes "thank you." Now, if only I can find the nerve to try that at work! I've been on the job at my present company for less than a year and have essentially trained myself. Not much camaraderie there, but at least I know I do a great job, and that's really what counts. Others know you are pulling your weight, but some people can't seem to acknowledge others for meeting or exceeding expectations. Don't take it personally, I think it is a character flaw in some individuals.
When the stress gets to be too much, lay low and ride it out. It's usually when I reach my breaking point that the load miraculously lightens.
Adee, I actually do say "you're welcome" many times to unappreciative family members; it usually precedes "thank you." Now, if only I can find the nerve to try that at work! I've been on the job at my present company for less than a year and have essentially trained myself. Not much camaraderie there, but at least I know I do a great job, and that's really what counts. Others know you are pulling your weight, but some people can't seem to acknowledge others for meeting or exceeding expectations. Don't take it personally, I think it is a character flaw in some individuals.
When the stress gets to be too much, lay low and ride it out. It's usually when I reach my breaking point that the load miraculously lightens.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 325
Originally Posted by haennie
Here is something those of you who grew up in the 1980's and 90's can relate better... anyhow:
The Cure - Lovesong (Official Video) - YouTube
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 556
Thank you dee, irelander, odelle for the thoughts. Irelander - I did go to a meeting tonight and it did help. Our stories are so powerful. Thank you for the reminder. Odelle - laying low for sure. Trying to just do a good job and let the rest go. If other people behave like toddlers, I can do absolutely nothing to change them. Today I had a second sticky next to my Serenity Prayer, it said, "It is NOT your concern" from Deeker's 24 hour post yesterday about her son. I am really trying to let go of things I don't, won't ever and shouldn't control.
We have drinking houseguests tomorrow night and I'm kind of dreading it but I'm telling all of you and myself: I will not be drinking tomorrow.
GCG: come back and post. It is good to hear from you no matter what. If you want to quit drinking, this is the place for you.
We have drinking houseguests tomorrow night and I'm kind of dreading it but I'm telling all of you and myself: I will not be drinking tomorrow.
GCG: come back and post. It is good to hear from you no matter what. If you want to quit drinking, this is the place for you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 442
GCG: stay strong and keep fighting this.
haennie: welcome back into the thread. hope you're doing well
Adee: It's not the serenity prayer but I have a creed, if you will, that I say to myself throughout the day and sometimes it just the little things that we do that get us through.
Hope everyone has a safe and sober day. Let's keep fighting.
haennie: welcome back into the thread. hope you're doing well
Adee: It's not the serenity prayer but I have a creed, if you will, that I say to myself throughout the day and sometimes it just the little things that we do that get us through.
Hope everyone has a safe and sober day. Let's keep fighting.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 556
Finnie - I hope today is better. Anxiety is such a beast. It comes out of nowhere for me too at times. It goes back into nowhere just as abruptly - I hope that happens for you and soon.
I'm feeling better this morning though it might be the calm before the storm. I got something done yesterday I was dreading, so we'll see what comes up today. I am nervous about the houseguests but I'm just letting it go - it will be a relatively short visit and it's a work night so I have plenty of reasons to just not even go there.
Today's passage in the Book of Awakening was a good one for me to read right now. It's about letting out what is inside. His metaphor is song. That everything is song: sobbing is song, breathing is song, our first cry when we come into the world is song. That we are wired to sing and when we stop singing, stop letting out, we keep things from coming in. "Such a simple secret: by letting things out, we also let things in. So if you're cut off, in pain, estranged, numb—sing, give voice to anything. It needn't sound pretty. Simply, bravely, open despite the difficulty, and let what is in out, and what is out in. Sing, and your life will continue."
I really love this. This is what we do here. Sing our stories, our struggles, our pain, our joy. And I do think by letting it out we open a space for something new to come in.
Have a good day everyone.
I'm feeling better this morning though it might be the calm before the storm. I got something done yesterday I was dreading, so we'll see what comes up today. I am nervous about the houseguests but I'm just letting it go - it will be a relatively short visit and it's a work night so I have plenty of reasons to just not even go there.
Today's passage in the Book of Awakening was a good one for me to read right now. It's about letting out what is inside. His metaphor is song. That everything is song: sobbing is song, breathing is song, our first cry when we come into the world is song. That we are wired to sing and when we stop singing, stop letting out, we keep things from coming in. "Such a simple secret: by letting things out, we also let things in. So if you're cut off, in pain, estranged, numb—sing, give voice to anything. It needn't sound pretty. Simply, bravely, open despite the difficulty, and let what is in out, and what is out in. Sing, and your life will continue."
I really love this. This is what we do here. Sing our stories, our struggles, our pain, our joy. And I do think by letting it out we open a space for something new to come in.
Have a good day everyone.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Los Angeles,CA
Posts: 150
Hey all! This whole week I've been trying to get to sleep around 11PM and I wake up at 7:30AM still very groggy and sluggish. I'm trying to figure out if I'm getting the right sleep during the night so if it's because I'm going through a cold currently. It's one of those situations where I actually do fall asleep but for some reason I'm not sleeping well throughout the night and sometimes I wake up at 3AM for no apparent reason and try to fall asleep again.
The good news is once I drag myself out of bed, I'm wide awake and feeling refreshed after 20 minutes of wakefulness. I guess I just want those days where I automatically wake up refreshed and energized.
The good news is once I drag myself out of bed, I'm wide awake and feeling refreshed after 20 minutes of wakefulness. I guess I just want those days where I automatically wake up refreshed and energized.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 442
hello SCF..haven't seen you around in awhile it seems or maybe I miss you posts if there on a previous page. The greatest thing about having a crappy night's sleep now? it's 10x better than having a good night's sleep drunk. As you say, it only takes ~20 minutes to feel refreshed.
Hope everyone has a strong and sober night.
Hope everyone has a strong and sober night.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 643
Morning everyone, it's been raining non stop here which is unusual but much needed, very strange going to bed with rain and waking up to it but kind of calming.
I saw my psychologist on Wednesday and went thru all that's been happening inside me, especially the out of control anxiety. We have decided I just need to let go and sit with my feelings more. I seem to have issues with trying to control things and maybe a bit of the perfectionist creeps in and then when things get out of my control then "bang" I self implode. AA is not for me but that's ok, I just need to find what is the best fit for me. This could just be posting here and meditation and just "being", I don't know yet. Much love everyone x
I saw my psychologist on Wednesday and went thru all that's been happening inside me, especially the out of control anxiety. We have decided I just need to let go and sit with my feelings more. I seem to have issues with trying to control things and maybe a bit of the perfectionist creeps in and then when things get out of my control then "bang" I self implode. AA is not for me but that's ok, I just need to find what is the best fit for me. This could just be posting here and meditation and just "being", I don't know yet. Much love everyone x
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 244
Originally Posted by SilentCinemaFan
Hey all! This whole week I've been trying to get to sleep around 11PM and I wake up at 7:30AM still very groggy and sluggish. I'm trying to figure out if I'm getting the right sleep during the night so if it's because I'm going through a cold currently. It's one of those situations where I actually do fall asleep but for some reason I'm not sleeping well throughout the night and sometimes I wake up at 3AM for no apparent reason and try to fall asleep again.
The good news is once I drag myself out of bed, I'm wide awake and feeling refreshed after 20 minutes of wakefulness. I guess I just want those days where I automatically wake up refreshed and energized.
The good news is once I drag myself out of bed, I'm wide awake and feeling refreshed after 20 minutes of wakefulness. I guess I just want those days where I automatically wake up refreshed and energized.
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