Neverthought

Very nice update TR. You're definitely exuding confidence!

Life is a job too and it's about finding our niche. We have to find ways to be productive that will give a sense of accomplishment. I love cheesecake and mint. I never had the two together...glad it was a hit.

Mint chocolate chip ice-cream is a favorite of mine....I don't know anyone else that likes it though?

Well, have a nice day TR and again, thanks for checking in on me the other night....little things like that go a long way.

Neverthought

I would agree with that assessment.

We play every year. Last year, we drank some beers playing golf....then played some cards afterwards. Everyone drank, but it was pretty social. I'm going with my brothers and a few of my brother's friends that I know pretty well.

I started drinking Beam and coke and cleaned up playing cards. I don't want to come off as arrogant, but my mind become super clear and sharp when I drink. Then everyone got tired, but I could have played until the sun came up. Everyone was pretty amazed because a bunch of the guys arrived late the night before I we ended staying up until like 4:30 in the morning.

I don't have any problems being around others when they are drinking when I am abstaining though. A few colleagues and myself go out for lunch every Friday and they drink like 3 beers a piece and I drink water. My triggers are at home, because like I mentioned last week or so, I have that history and pattern of play-time and drinking.

I think I have ADD. I've mentioned this on SR in the past. Many, many times my wife would ask if I drank about 3 or 4 cups of coffee (it was really vodka). I'll be really spun and talking a mile an hour.

I'm in a good place right now and in the future "hopefully"....but thanks for bringing this up!!

SleepyDots

My degree is in psychology and once upon a time (pre-marriage and kids) I was a software consultant. Random, huh? My parents are great, still married, I have one sister who I am not close to at all. We haven't communicated in years, it was no big fight or anything, we are just very different and have never really had much of a sisterly relationship.

SleepyDots

Regarding the talk of feeling different, I completely relate. My story is that I am an introvert, and have social anxiety. It is weird though b/c I have no problem talking to strangers, am very friendly when I'm out and about, it's more about people I know a little better, like with acquaintances and neighbors and such, I just don't know how to get to know people better, I always feel like I'm on the outside looking in, etc. I think I come off sometimes as stuck up, when really I just feel intense awkwardness, fear of saying something stupid so I don't say much, fear of rejection so I don't put myself out there... Years ago I drank to help loosen that stranglehold my anxiety had over me, it enabled me to speak up, be funny, engage people, etc. Of course at some point that all changed, I was no longer charming and witty, I was slurring and stumbling, but that connection in my brain between feeling anxious and wanting a drink will be there for awhile, I'm sure - b/c that was my solution for so long. I know now though, of course, that I need other ways to cope.

gleefan

I'm glad you understood that I was asking out of concern for your well being. I feel like I can handle social drinking while abstaining, but I do get a smidgen nostalgic for drinking. If I were in the mental place where I was Friday evening, and at the event where I was Saturday night, the temptation might have been too much.

I was asked to help out at a golf fundraiser with a group of friends, and I had to decline because of the morning to night boozing associated with the event. I told them I couldn't get the day off from work.

Interesting note about adhd. I wonder if I have the inattentive type, and if it's the reason for my anxiety. All I can do is try to improve my life.

gleefan

It's interesting how many of us feel like outsiders.

tornrealization

That is me. I test and am considered Extrovert might be only difference. Strangers and temporary settings are easy. I chat, ask questions, help others. But when it comes to meeting friends of friends, new family, people who I know I'll be around more and care about their opinions I get all awkward. It does come off badly for me, but after a few times, they realize I'm nice just as anyone else. I'm not presenting a cold shoulder, I just don't know what to say.

gleefan

Hope everyone is keeping it sober today.

I've been busy in the kitchen. I cooked some good ahead for this week, plus I'm making a corned beef and cabbage dinner - a few weeks late, I realize, but we were at hockey tourneys leading up to St. Pats weekend.

And now for the UConn game.....

keithurbanfan

Hey people, I'm having really strong cravings for a cold beer right now. I've been working in the yard and that is totally the trigger. Hopefully it will pass soon. Before I cave. I don't want to lose 56 days.

gleefan

You can fight this Shannon.

Play your tape through to the end. If you take a drink you have a lot to lose.

Take some deep breaths. Take a minute. Are you hungry, angry, lonely, or tired (halt)? Would a snack or glass of water help?

Can you visualize yourself unwinding a different way?

Or picture your Febbies helping you fight the urge off?

DiggingIn

Think about how you feel after drinking versus how you'll feel staying strong and not drinking. You can fight this.

keithurbanfan

I made it! The craving is gone. My husband and I are making dinner and I'm gonna be ok. Thanks for your support.

DiggingIn

We all knew you could! Nicely done.

forabetterlife

LS .. I could have written that myself, it's exactly how I feel. With sobriety, the simple pure pleasures come back: a good nights sleep, coffee in the morning, my children's laughter, an organized home, regular exercise, and sometimes just the feeling of accomplishment of
doing things right.
Keithurbanfan: So glad to hear your cravings have passed, they always do, we just need to give them a chance.

I just keep reminding myself that all the good things I mentioned above disappear with even one drink. Haven't been on much this weekend, but I realize that I always feel better mentally when I check in here and read in SR regularly.
When I'm sober all aspects of my life fall into place. I can't believe my addiction when it tells me that I can have a drink or two. Because maybe it would only be a few drinks but slowly but surely it escalates and I little by little all that good stuff disappears.
It never ceases to amaze me how we are still inclined to desire something that causes such little pleasure (it's temporary and not even that great anymore) yet so much pain.

tornrealization

Shannon I'm glad you fought off the evil AV. Our first year is going to be filled with so many firsts or triggers. My husband is going to grill for the first time tonight. How about that romantic drink with it. Playing tape . . . 1/2 in the bag before grill is ready. 3/4 while cooking. Either really tipsy or beginning of blackout. Food hits the spot for the wrong reasons. Body wants to eat. Tastes are destroyed from booze. Continue to drink until late or passed out. Feel like crap in the morning and wasted a tasty dinner and whatever else I forgot about.

Finally a nice day. We went for a walk and got stuff for the grills. Had a nice cream. Relaxing now prepping dinner. The longer we get away from drinks and
Experience things sober, the better it becomes. It is a fight. Today was a good day. I know we still have many challenges ahead.

NT and Glee I think I can't be around boozefests right now. I know my husband is going to a couple beerfests. I usually go although I am not really into beer, kinda gross. I am skipping those kind of things. However there seems to be booze every weekend to endure. I had become an isolated home drinker to reduce people seeing the crazy. So far, triggers are home and that all inclusive (way too early to have gone to that) . I hope after a year, I have experienced everything without booze and year two goes way better.

tornrealization

Me too, FABL. The mornings are so great the. AV comes out to play. Crazy, right? I'm glad to hear from you.

gleefan

Torn, I enjoy your posts because they echo what I'm going through. You are spot on about this being a year of "firsts." It feels like I can't get away from events that involve booze. I'm not going to total booze fears, though.

Like you, I mostly drank at home towards the end. That wasn't because I had the good sense to hide my hot mess, it was just because I didn't want silly things like driving and talking coherently to others to get in the way of my buzz. When I did go out, once I took that first drink, there was no stopping me. Being at a booze fest is triggering. Case in point, my slip 36 days ago. It didn't land me in the hospital like yours, but it was bad, and like you, it scared me.

Yet! I still long for the good ole days where I could stop at one? That thinking exasperates me. Why would I hold any fondness for something that took me so close to the edge?



Why does everything seem to revolve around drinking?! And how do I change that?

DiggingIn

I rarely drank more than two drinks while away from home. Definitely I was a home drinker. . . the wine temporarily quelled the anxiety, but of course the next morning the anxiety was only worse.

Off work this week. In the past I would have spent the week in a vicious circle of depression/anxiety followed by drinking followed worsened depression/anxiety followed by more drinking. . .

Dee74

I've been away sick guys - I will catch up eventually but for now it's time for a new thread

Join us here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-6-a.html

D