One Year & Under Club Part 29
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Toots the big one year congrats!!!!! Hope you have a wonderful today and treat yourself to something special. And please still check in and visit us undies! You've been such a big help to me and inspiration.
Carlos my cell broke awhile ago and had to start using an old cell that my dog when a puppy sunk her tooth right into the camera part so that's why the pics have been slacking! Great job not getting involved and being the bigger person regarding what that guys comments were. It's really none of his business how you live your life.
Alright running late so off to work I go
Carlos my cell broke awhile ago and had to start using an old cell that my dog when a puppy sunk her tooth right into the camera part so that's why the pics have been slacking! Great job not getting involved and being the bigger person regarding what that guys comments were. It's really none of his business how you live your life.
Alright running late so off to work I go
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Glee- Glad to hear you found some things of use in what I said. That "person I want to be" concept seems to really strike a cord with people.
Courage & Dee- The both of you have such cute avatars right now.
Carlos- It's cool that you were the bigger person with that guy. He would have gotten under my skin too! I think I would be tempted to approach him after a meeting, and say something like, "I appreciate your concern about how I'm doing. It may give you some peace of mind to know that I have a sponsor, am working the steps and attend many meetings a week, however this one happens to be quite a bit out of my way." In a voice loud enough everybody in the room could hear it! Whoops, wait that may not be being the bigger person at all. Best to go up to the Newcomer and give them a warm welcome instead.
Courage & Dee- The both of you have such cute avatars right now.
Carlos- It's cool that you were the bigger person with that guy. He would have gotten under my skin too! I think I would be tempted to approach him after a meeting, and say something like, "I appreciate your concern about how I'm doing. It may give you some peace of mind to know that I have a sponsor, am working the steps and attend many meetings a week, however this one happens to be quite a bit out of my way." In a voice loud enough everybody in the room could hear it! Whoops, wait that may not be being the bigger person at all. Best to go up to the Newcomer and give them a warm welcome instead.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I appreciate the sentiment, guys -and I don't mind people staying if this is where they feel comfortable - but this thread is meant to be another layer of support for those under one year.
I'm pretty keen to keep things as is
D
I'm pretty keen to keep things as is
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
Dear Dee,
I for one offer support for a Two Year and Under Thread. Even if it has to be a new thread with potential crossover. When I started on SR in late 10' and 11' there were 30 day, 90 day and six month threads here. I guess they still exist in limbo, as does my Novi 10' thread. Here, open, but for the most part not achieving the WE concept of recovery by any strong measure.
Somehow, some glorious way many of us on this thread have bonded in our struggles. We have come to know each other intimately, even sensing potential slips (with our drinking AND/OR addictive thinking). Just look at the number of graduates we have that are sticking around in yes, a comfort zone. I can also name more than a few that have either gone back out, reduced their postings, or just simply disappeared following one year. I think it is safe to say that the transition to the Over from the core group here this past many months has not been an SR success...not opinion, just the facts.
It is pretty obvious that the traffic that we generate makes this one of the most active. Couple that with a core that is offering a unique and diversified brand of experience, strength and hope to newcomers beyond what just one or even two monitors can provide, and it's hard to find a down side, or reason to split us up...IMHO.
Yes, something special happened here and I for one would hate to see that split apart.
Sincerely,
Carlos
I for one offer support for a Two Year and Under Thread. Even if it has to be a new thread with potential crossover. When I started on SR in late 10' and 11' there were 30 day, 90 day and six month threads here. I guess they still exist in limbo, as does my Novi 10' thread. Here, open, but for the most part not achieving the WE concept of recovery by any strong measure.
Somehow, some glorious way many of us on this thread have bonded in our struggles. We have come to know each other intimately, even sensing potential slips (with our drinking AND/OR addictive thinking). Just look at the number of graduates we have that are sticking around in yes, a comfort zone. I can also name more than a few that have either gone back out, reduced their postings, or just simply disappeared following one year. I think it is safe to say that the transition to the Over from the core group here this past many months has not been an SR success...not opinion, just the facts.
It is pretty obvious that the traffic that we generate makes this one of the most active. Couple that with a core that is offering a unique and diversified brand of experience, strength and hope to newcomers beyond what just one or even two monitors can provide, and it's hard to find a down side, or reason to split us up...IMHO.
Yes, something special happened here and I for one would hate to see that split apart.
Sincerely,
Carlos
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Perhaps it really doesn't matter what we call it? The over-undies that are here know they're welcome to stick around. We could rename it the two year and under thread or start a new thread with that name, but then what would happen when those people hit 2 years?
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I do know 2 years and under would suit a lot of you guys - but lets not lose sight of the fact that this is a thread for newcomers and relative newcomers too.
One year I think is a useful period.
2 years is too long a stretch - newbies can find it hard to relate to someone too many years on, and people two years on will sometimes find it hard to relate the other way.
and what happens to the One Year and Over thread then?
It's not up for discussion I'm afraid.
I haven't directed anyone to post anywhere - but if you guys really feel that you're being 'split apart', and want to start another thread in the Cafe or a social group to hang out in, thats fine by me
D
One year I think is a useful period.
2 years is too long a stretch - newbies can find it hard to relate to someone too many years on, and people two years on will sometimes find it hard to relate the other way.
and what happens to the One Year and Over thread then?
It's not up for discussion I'm afraid.
I haven't directed anyone to post anywhere - but if you guys really feel that you're being 'split apart', and want to start another thread in the Cafe or a social group to hang out in, thats fine by me
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
I thought my argument had merit. Position has been censored and it's not up for discussion. Alrighty then.
Last point in closing: What a great problem to have had to be deciding what to do at two years
Last point in closing: What a great problem to have had to be deciding what to do at two years
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Gimme a break Carlos.
I didn't censor a word of your post or anyone else's.
I've always believed that these threads are for support - not arguments or editorials.
I've explained why I think things should stay the same.
As the Daily Support Forum mod, the buck stops with me, for better or worse..
I'm very happy if you or anyone else wants to take this to PM with me or to Admin, but I think we need to get back to recovery here now..
Thanks
D
I didn't censor a word of your post or anyone else's.
I've always believed that these threads are for support - not arguments or editorials.
I've explained why I think things should stay the same.
As the Daily Support Forum mod, the buck stops with me, for better or worse..
I'm very happy if you or anyone else wants to take this to PM with me or to Admin, but I think we need to get back to recovery here now..
Thanks
D
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Carlos, I'm sorry that you gave of your usual best at that out-of-town meeting and were rebuked out of nowhere by the old-timer. You must have felt really slapped in the face! I think the reason this bothers you so much is 1) you said something nice to him, and he repaid your good with "evil;" 2) his criticism of you was unjust, as Toots said: you do attend many meetings! It is frustrating to be totally in the right and have somebody not only not know, but not care!
Don't take it too personally--I'm sure this guy is just a garden variety a**hole, and he's negative toward everyone. People all over just can't resist being legalistic! Try to forgive him and cut him some slack--for all you know, he spreads misery wherever he goes and leads a much lonelier life than you do.
You have no obligation to justify yourself to him, but it might be a kind overture. Just to set his mind at ease about your future fitness to share, you could take him aside and assure him that you go to many meetings regularly in your hometown--and you love to go out of town and experience the flavor of different meetings.
Don't take it too personally--I'm sure this guy is just a garden variety a**hole, and he's negative toward everyone. People all over just can't resist being legalistic! Try to forgive him and cut him some slack--for all you know, he spreads misery wherever he goes and leads a much lonelier life than you do.
You have no obligation to justify yourself to him, but it might be a kind overture. Just to set his mind at ease about your future fitness to share, you could take him aside and assure him that you go to many meetings regularly in your hometown--and you love to go out of town and experience the flavor of different meetings.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
Oh, the last thing I wanted to do when I made my lighthearted suggestion was to cause any grief. I am afraid I have to agree wholeheartedly with Dee, when I started out even one year seem to stretch the imagination rather too much, I actually joined the 30 day and under thread, now unfortunately no more, but I got a lot of support there from Grace, EQ and other Undies of the time. The natural progression then after a month was to look to the Undies thread. I admit the first time I looked here, I did not feel it was right for me, I only came in a few weeks later. This is the newcomers forum, and it has to be accessible to those who are in the early days of recovery, I for one do not want them to feel too daunted to come here for support.
Also, I feel the one year milestone is something to be celebrated, as mine was yesterday ( to my amazement and wonder!!) and such achievement out to be recognised. The fact I am now officially an OverUndie is cool!! I don't want to have to wait 2 years for that!
Carlos, some of us don't have AA coins, our recognition comes from here.
I'm not going anywhere,well I am, but I'll still be here too.
Also, I feel the one year milestone is something to be celebrated, as mine was yesterday ( to my amazement and wonder!!) and such achievement out to be recognised. The fact I am now officially an OverUndie is cool!! I don't want to have to wait 2 years for that!
Carlos, some of us don't have AA coins, our recognition comes from here.
I'm not going anywhere,well I am, but I'll still be here too.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
Oh Gilmer that will be here before you know it! How are you after your op? Any side effects?
Carlos, hon, totally agree, deciding what to do at 2 years of sobriety is an amazing problem to have!
DG, words of wisdom there hun.
Dottie, how's work going? Are you getting into a good routine now?
MB how are you??
Will check back in later, but just wanted to say again, thank you all for the lovely things that you have said about me to help,me celebrate my first sober year. Is it possible to feel humble and proud at the same time? Because that is how I have felt xxx
Carlos, hon, totally agree, deciding what to do at 2 years of sobriety is an amazing problem to have!
DG, words of wisdom there hun.
Dottie, how's work going? Are you getting into a good routine now?
MB how are you??
Will check back in later, but just wanted to say again, thank you all for the lovely things that you have said about me to help,me celebrate my first sober year. Is it possible to feel humble and proud at the same time? Because that is how I have felt xxx
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
The incision site is a little swollen, but it's totally fine. No ill effects! Thanks, Toots!
One good side effect: I got released from working at my son's school today! Yippee (because I'll be busy with other things!).
My brats--I mean sons--are home for the weekend! I'll have to get the switch!
I love them to death!
One good side effect: I got released from working at my son's school today! Yippee (because I'll be busy with other things!).
My brats--I mean sons--are home for the weekend! I'll have to get the switch!
I love them to death!
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
Gilmer, I'm glad to hear you're healing well and get to spend time with your sons.
Toots, love ya', go add some energy to those overies!
Tanja, I hope you're doing well.
DG -- there was something I wanted to post to you & I forgot Where is my mind????
Carlos, don't get riled but I'm seeing a pattern between your anger at the old-timer in your AA meeting and your response to Dee. I think a lot of us have an over-attachment to winning, getting the last word, even "being understood" -- because if we're just understood, everyone will see how wonderful & right we are
But you're unlikely to change others by correcting them-- often, it's more helpful to look at things from the other guy's side and try to learn something through empathy. Maybe that old-timer wasn't "right" about you, but maybe he was reflecting on his own experience and trying to help from his own experience. You do that too, don't you? Maybe he told instead of asking -- do you do that? Just things to think about.
Hope that didn't offend. As usual, any ideas I give to you are offered because they seem relevant to my situation, too. I've more or less begged my FS to spend some time with me this weekend. I need to let go of a lot of mental crap I'm carrying around and don't even know where to begin. Since I'm on the anti-depressants, the negative thoughts and fears don't depress me anymore -- but the thoughts haven't stopped.
PS Dee, thanks for being the grown up in this room full of relative newborns. We need you!
I wish everyone a great weekend --
Toots, love ya', go add some energy to those overies!
Tanja, I hope you're doing well.
DG -- there was something I wanted to post to you & I forgot
Where is my mind????Carlos, don't get riled but I'm seeing a pattern between your anger at the old-timer in your AA meeting and your response to Dee. I think a lot of us have an over-attachment to winning, getting the last word, even "being understood" -- because if we're just understood, everyone will see how wonderful & right we are
But you're unlikely to change others by correcting them-- often, it's more helpful to look at things from the other guy's side and try to learn something through empathy. Maybe that old-timer wasn't "right" about you, but maybe he was reflecting on his own experience and trying to help from his own experience. You do that too, don't you? Maybe he told instead of asking -- do you do that? Just things to think about.Hope that didn't offend. As usual, any ideas I give to you are offered because they seem relevant to my situation, too. I've more or less begged my FS to spend some time with me this weekend. I need to let go of a lot of mental crap I'm carrying around and don't even know where to begin. Since I'm on the anti-depressants, the negative thoughts and fears don't depress me anymore -- but the thoughts haven't stopped.
PS Dee, thanks for being the grown up in this room full of relative newborns. We need you!
I wish everyone a great weekend --
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Undies!
We've had kind of a blackout the last two days, so I've been off the Internet. Finally the connection to the world is restored)
Toots - My warmest and hugest congrats on 1 YEAR! So so so happy for you!
2
I am still alive, still sober, passed my 17 months mark yesterday. Fighting anxiety and mood swings.
See you later)
We've had kind of a blackout the last two days, so I've been off the Internet. Finally the connection to the world is restored)
Toots - My warmest and hugest congrats on 1 YEAR! So so so happy for you!
2I am still alive, still sober, passed my 17 months mark yesterday. Fighting anxiety and mood swings.
See you later)
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