Class of October 2013 - Part 10
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,329
JL, What I've learned is that we are all our worst enemy. We tend to over exaggerate things in our mind causing us undue stress. Alcohol always had a way of keeping my thoughts really negative and it took a few month of sobriety to come out of that funk. I'm not saying that is all that's going on but sobriety fixed a lot of things that I thought were wrong with me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
JL., I am trying to break the worry cycle, too. Any time I register that I am worrying, I make myself say a small prayer _ turning my thoughts to God.
As far as other people talking about you, the older I get, my mantra seems to be, "whatever other people think of me, is not my business."
As far as other people talking about you, the older I get, my mantra seems to be, "whatever other people think of me, is not my business."
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
Thanks, all! We are fine (at this very moment...lol) Swamped and still trying to catch up and get back to Pura Vida! Little things like son in jail, step-mom wants older caregiver (she's 91...caregiver is 45 for goodness sake!)...and then finding a message on my Tracfone that I hadn't seen in the US since we must have been boarding the plane. It was from younger daughter who said that she just can't "do whatever this is with me" because it makes her "self destruct"...yada, yada. Alrighty then.....I'm out. I mean, jeez....I live 5,000 miles away! Haven't really talked to her in months! Whatever....ugh! Every step forward these days is about 50 steps back. Just can't WAIT to get the electric bill and see how much the people used the air conditioning while they stayed here. Keep finding more and more broken items. Gotta turn that frown upside down! Hang in there, all....this too shall pass....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,329
Trudging,
Sorry to hear about your daughter but as we all know, we made/make ourselves self destruct. Making excuses is what we did/do best. It sounds like she needs to work some type of program, if she really wants to. As hard as it is, it is probably time to let her make the next move. I know this would be very hard for me with my children. My thoughts are with you though.
My daughter had her final home game/senior day with lacrosse today. She went out with a bang, scoring 6 of the teams first 7 goals. Scary moment but a girl from the other team had a seizure in the middle of the game. She ended up being okay but it hate to see things like that. I guess we all need to count our blessings for each day.
Sorry to hear about your daughter but as we all know, we made/make ourselves self destruct. Making excuses is what we did/do best. It sounds like she needs to work some type of program, if she really wants to. As hard as it is, it is probably time to let her make the next move. I know this would be very hard for me with my children. My thoughts are with you though.
My daughter had her final home game/senior day with lacrosse today. She went out with a bang, scoring 6 of the teams first 7 goals. Scary moment but a girl from the other team had a seizure in the middle of the game. She ended up being okay but it hate to see things like that. I guess we all need to count our blessings for each day.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: South East US
Posts: 426
wow trudging, when it rains it pours I suppose. You've weathered quite a bit (need a vacation after your vacation, right?!) as of late. Bright side: you've got nowhere to go but up!
Bilr! Hot damn, brother. Now that's just great news. I wish you good skill my friend (no luck needed here; they'd be fools to pass on you; you've mentioned your age a deterrent in the past, but what they don't know is that they are looking at someone with brand new mental agility and the people skills to go with it). Best juju to to you you (that's time two two).
And Bilr, yup, FSN rocks; I get both Marlins and Rays.
DD, book ordered at Barnes and Noble today; will send to my house next week...can't wait! I swear I'm gonna read this one the moment I receive it!!THANKS!
Sparrow, good to hear from you! Have you eaten your fruits and veggies to today?
JL, I agree with DD and Bilr. My addition - although I always feel funny giving advise, but in this case feel overly qualified as a consumate (former!) worrier: It's a matter of practicality; just grab the horns that you can grab and do with them what you can to affect your future. No way, no how you can change the other stuff. And same goes for the chatter of people around you. Like trudging said, keep your side of the street clean. At least then you can keep your chin up with the self-assurance that you've done your part. Any worry after that does nothing to help your circumstnaces (i.e., wasted time). (hope I didn't overstep bounds bud, just my opinion).
Bilr! Hot damn, brother. Now that's just great news. I wish you good skill my friend (no luck needed here; they'd be fools to pass on you; you've mentioned your age a deterrent in the past, but what they don't know is that they are looking at someone with brand new mental agility and the people skills to go with it). Best juju to to you you (that's time two two).
And Bilr, yup, FSN rocks; I get both Marlins and Rays.
DD, book ordered at Barnes and Noble today; will send to my house next week...can't wait! I swear I'm gonna read this one the moment I receive it!!THANKS!
Sparrow, good to hear from you! Have you eaten your fruits and veggies to today?
JL, I agree with DD and Bilr. My addition - although I always feel funny giving advise, but in this case feel overly qualified as a consumate (former!) worrier: It's a matter of practicality; just grab the horns that you can grab and do with them what you can to affect your future. No way, no how you can change the other stuff. And same goes for the chatter of people around you. Like trudging said, keep your side of the street clean. At least then you can keep your chin up with the self-assurance that you've done your part. Any worry after that does nothing to help your circumstnaces (i.e., wasted time). (hope I didn't overstep bounds bud, just my opinion).
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
Trudging I've felt that 1 step forward 50 back feeling. I hope it gets better soon ! Thanks all for the thoughts. I'm really impatient about finances/job but am going to put out another app or two this weekend. Something will happen, just not in my personal hurry-up timeframe.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
Mornin' all! So much happening with all of you! I really feel like all I do is complain.....sorry about that....life just gets in the way sometimes....Yes, Billr, it is time to let my daughter go down her own path....she has one that is none of my business, nor is it within my control. I have been sooooo busy trying to catch up since we got home...it's crazy! While in the states, I was able to see my step-mom (don't remember if I told you guys this already...ugh!). She is 91 and apparently married a 60 year old man. At any rate, she asked me to help her find some live-in help. I did. She started a gal out 3 days a week at first....well, it has only been a week or so, and now my step-mom is saying the gal is too young (she is 45), not married (she's engaged) and "doesn't understand". So, I have been working with the agency to find a replacement. AND....remember how I have always said that hubby is a "normie"? He drinks beer, doesn't get drunk, has agreed to keep it out of the house, cut waaaay back when I quit, etc. etc. WELL, lately I have noticed that his drinking REALLY seems to have increased A LOT. I have no idea how many beers he drinks, but now he is beginning to talk funny later in the day, almost slurring his words....doesn't seem to remember MANY conversations we've had, etc. etc. I did all the driving in the states, since he often had beer on his breath and NO WAY would I let him drive in L.A. with all of the police there. I have talked to him about it....nothing changes....I know it is the pot calling the kettle black....but, truly, it is getting hard to live with....So, there ya have it...my complaint for the day
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,329
Trudging,
Tough situation with your husband. If you've already spoke and he is still drinking you've done your part. Do you think it is the stress with his son and his mom? The problem I had when drinking because of stress was that it was a viscous cycle. I know all of my wife's nagging didn't get me to quit. I just tried, unsuccessfully to hide it better.
Tough situation with your husband. If you've already spoke and he is still drinking you've done your part. Do you think it is the stress with his son and his mom? The problem I had when drinking because of stress was that it was a viscous cycle. I know all of my wife's nagging didn't get me to quit. I just tried, unsuccessfully to hide it better.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
Yeah, Billr...I do think it has a lot to do with what is going on with his son (especially) and his mom. And you are SOOOOO right! He IS trying to hide it! I really am shocked! But, in front of me he will be holding a bottle of water....but he is wreaking of beer! Ugh....soooo very tired of all of this stuff going on.....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
Trudging, I feel for you. You certainly have gone through a lot of stress in a short period of time. I am not in my happy place tonight either. My husband and I rarely fight but we got into a doozy tonight. I am pouting in our room and he is pouting in front of the TV. It is good that we are not fueling the fire with alcohol but I admit I miss my emotional crutch right now. I hate sitting here with my bluesy, blah feelings.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,329
Trudging,
I hid my drinking because my wife said if I wanted to drink just do it in front of her. Well, I knew she didn't mean every day and at the volumes I was drinking. So I could have probably drank a couple of beers a week in front of her but that would not have been enough for me. I think maybe he doesn't want to let on to you how often and how much he is drinking.
DD, I hope you and your hubby have since made up. Since I stopped drinking my wife and I rarely fight and a lot of the irritability I sensed from her was probably my own guilty conscious working against me back then. On another note, has your son decided on the school yet? We think our daughter is going to go to FSU it is a fraction of the cost of going out of state and has virtually the same ranking as Colorado. She does not want to move back to PA and go to Penn State. She went to a Cross Country camp there a couple of years ago and didn't like how rural it was.
I hid my drinking because my wife said if I wanted to drink just do it in front of her. Well, I knew she didn't mean every day and at the volumes I was drinking. So I could have probably drank a couple of beers a week in front of her but that would not have been enough for me. I think maybe he doesn't want to let on to you how often and how much he is drinking.
DD, I hope you and your hubby have since made up. Since I stopped drinking my wife and I rarely fight and a lot of the irritability I sensed from her was probably my own guilty conscious working against me back then. On another note, has your son decided on the school yet? We think our daughter is going to go to FSU it is a fraction of the cost of going out of state and has virtually the same ranking as Colorado. She does not want to move back to PA and go to Penn State. She went to a Cross Country camp there a couple of years ago and didn't like how rural it was.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
Hi, Bilr. Yes, all is well here. Just a bunch of grouchy characters here - icky high tax bill, antique table broke, whine, whine, whine. (not to be confused with wine, wine, wine) My son is going to the University of FL. It made zero sense to us to pay out of state tuition when the schools here in FL are so affordable, offer so many programs and are "highly ranked". We are not trust fund babies and we have four kids to put through school. We told him to think of "big name" schools if he decides to get an MBA or another higher degree. He had a really hard time deciding between UF and FSU because so many of his friends go to FSU and love it. You can't go wrong either way! 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,329
DD, it is amazing the foster difference between FSU and out of state schools. FSU is ranked one of the top school in terms of value. It is funny because we are also pushing the whole big name school for grad or law school as well.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
Funny what a difference a day makes! Hubby is kinda back to his ol' self.....thank goodness! Me??? Just still buried in catching up and putting out fires. As for schools, I received all of my credentials/degrees from UCLA...got on the proverbial hamster wheel until I had reached the end....hahahaha! In reality, though, I have learned that, truly, it makes no difference WHERE you get your BA/BS AT ALL.....sometimes, it doesn't even matter where you get a graduate degree....unless it is in law or medicine. (Although, my sister just told me that she has an attorney working for her that got her law degree from the University of Phoenix - online)....so....go figure! Although I had wanted to send my girls abroad to study, the money just wasn't there to be able to do so. They both went to highly recognized colleges in CA, and neither one is working in the area in which they got their degrees!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
OMG....I had to share this ..... very personal. My husband just took a walk (I am sure to buy beer, but whatever...) On my desk he stapled a note closed. It reads:
Dear R,
Since March 28th when Jake went to jail, I have prayed to God to please take ALL my strength, fortitude, and whatever else he needed, and to give it to Jake.
So, if I seem a little "off" in the past or future days, maybe that's why. I don't know.
Maybe God needs to take a little from me to give to Jacob. I'm sure he could use it.
I love you. Always and Forever.
V.
I am crying now.....
Dear R,
Since March 28th when Jake went to jail, I have prayed to God to please take ALL my strength, fortitude, and whatever else he needed, and to give it to Jake.
So, if I seem a little "off" in the past or future days, maybe that's why. I don't know.
Maybe God needs to take a little from me to give to Jacob. I'm sure he could use it.
I love you. Always and Forever.
V.
I am crying now.....
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
