Class of January 2014 Part 7
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 1,303
Dammit...I went to a Uni reunion last night...met up with old mates I hadn't seen in years. One guy had come over to the UK from the States. Well when asked what I would like to drink 'a glass of white wine please' rolled off my tongue. Dutch courage maybe? its a large glass then another and another and so on. Next thing I know its 3am and Im in a taxi from London to the South Coast having missed the last train. I have had the most terrible memory blackout and nursed an almighty hangover all day. Im full of regrets shame and embarrassment that I cant even remember anything after about 11pm. The most painful thing is I have let myself down yuck yuck yuck...
I have no social evening engagements in March except my Dads 80th birthday and think I should be able to do that as I will be the driver so I going to try yet again but starting to feel like a fraud in this wonderful January 2014class...
I have no social evening engagements in March except my Dads 80th birthday and think I should be able to do that as I will be the driver so I going to try yet again but starting to feel like a fraud in this wonderful January 2014class...
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I'm sorry Martina.
I think its really important that we think about the social invites we accept - and if we do accept them, it's vital we have some kind of plan - think out the likely scenarios and ways to get through them.
Not beating you up Martina - I did what you did many times....just hoping that what happened to you might help someone else?
and no you are not a fraud...this changing our lives stuff is hard.
D
I think its really important that we think about the social invites we accept - and if we do accept them, it's vital we have some kind of plan - think out the likely scenarios and ways to get through them.
Not beating you up Martina - I did what you did many times....just hoping that what happened to you might help someone else?
and no you are not a fraud...this changing our lives stuff is hard.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
(((Martina))),
Just figure out what happened and maybe it won't happen again. Places, people, things............... We need to try hard not to go where these things can happen in our early sobriety. I am finally figuring that out myself. Glad you're back.
Just figure out what happened and maybe it won't happen again. Places, people, things............... We need to try hard not to go where these things can happen in our early sobriety. I am finally figuring that out myself. Glad you're back.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 37
Hi Martina
No you are not a fraud and the fact that you have been so frank about your slip is important.
Dee's words are fair and could apply to any of us. We are all a bad decision away from a slip.
Personally I have been trying to use some simple visualisation techniques to avoid the pressure of being tempted to drink but it does mean sometimes thinking of the most basic situations, ones which I know for myself might trigger the temptation to drink. I try and think about my worst temptations where they come from and what that moment will feel like. I then try to put in place what will block that temptation and think how I will feel when the danger has passed. Often the anxiety of the moment goes and there is that sense of achievement.
No you are not a fraud and the fact that you have been so frank about your slip is important.
Dee's words are fair and could apply to any of us. We are all a bad decision away from a slip.
Personally I have been trying to use some simple visualisation techniques to avoid the pressure of being tempted to drink but it does mean sometimes thinking of the most basic situations, ones which I know for myself might trigger the temptation to drink. I try and think about my worst temptations where they come from and what that moment will feel like. I then try to put in place what will block that temptation and think how I will feel when the danger has passed. Often the anxiety of the moment goes and there is that sense of achievement.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: South Alabama
Posts: 40
Originally Posted by Odelle 
SunnySideUp, enlighten me on the chat meetings. I think I entered the chat room once last year, I couldn’t keep up! By the time I thought of something to type, the topic had changed. Funny thing is that I was feeling mentally sharper back then! Congratulations on 7 weeks.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 246
admitting the failure is a help to all of us
I have been using SR on and off for two years now. I fell off last year and stayed of the site.
looking back if i had admitted my slip up...slide off, and wave goodbye to the sobriety bus I might have returned quicker, with some helpful kind nudges from the SR community.
Had a close call this weekend - I reached out - was brutally honest about it.
was given some suggestions, and here I am Sunday - the worst is over for at least another week (okay day).
Personally I get the most from posts that talk about the difficulties, that vent frustrations of the day, that get petty and ugly and raw. Those speak to me much more then the friendly type. I mean I am for rainbows and unicorns and sometimes I feel that way too. But risking honestly with your body and soul is freedom and you can feel it.
So be bold with your posts - I will be reading them.
looking back if i had admitted my slip up...slide off, and wave goodbye to the sobriety bus I might have returned quicker, with some helpful kind nudges from the SR community.
Had a close call this weekend - I reached out - was brutally honest about it.
was given some suggestions, and here I am Sunday - the worst is over for at least another week (okay day).
Personally I get the most from posts that talk about the difficulties, that vent frustrations of the day, that get petty and ugly and raw. Those speak to me much more then the friendly type. I mean I am for rainbows and unicorns and sometimes I feel that way too. But risking honestly with your body and soul is freedom and you can feel it.
So be bold with your posts - I will be reading them.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 556
Good morning, all.
Nothing much to report except that yesterday I spent most of the day in bed. In the morning sitting with my 10 year old who was ill with the stomach flu. Mid day I rallied the two other girls and went out for a while but realized I felt just terrible. Came home, got in bed, left everything to my husband for the rest of the day and watched the newest season of Downton Abbey. I wasn't horribly ill, I could have soldiered on, but I realized I needed rest terribly so I took it. It was so simple. Not convenient for my husband, but that's fine, my job isn't to make life convenient for everybody else. AND I didn't apologize for needing rest or feeling ill. Progress, people!
This is very important because I see lack of self care as one of the biggest contributors to relapse in the past. I can't always control how my work weeks go, but I CAN ask for what I need at other times. This part of understanding what is in my control and what isn't, and acting on what IS in my control is what I'm focusing on now. It's helping.
Day 56.
Martina - agreeing with everyone else. You are not a fraud. Honesty is our only way out of this. Use this to develop a better plan going forward. I believe every sober day has value because we start to cherish the time we were sober when we drink again, and we can use what we learned in a slip build a better bridge to sustained sobriety.
Have a good day everyone.
Nothing much to report except that yesterday I spent most of the day in bed. In the morning sitting with my 10 year old who was ill with the stomach flu. Mid day I rallied the two other girls and went out for a while but realized I felt just terrible. Came home, got in bed, left everything to my husband for the rest of the day and watched the newest season of Downton Abbey. I wasn't horribly ill, I could have soldiered on, but I realized I needed rest terribly so I took it. It was so simple. Not convenient for my husband, but that's fine, my job isn't to make life convenient for everybody else. AND I didn't apologize for needing rest or feeling ill. Progress, people!
This is very important because I see lack of self care as one of the biggest contributors to relapse in the past. I can't always control how my work weeks go, but I CAN ask for what I need at other times. This part of understanding what is in my control and what isn't, and acting on what IS in my control is what I'm focusing on now. It's helping.
Day 56.
Martina - agreeing with everyone else. You are not a fraud. Honesty is our only way out of this. Use this to develop a better plan going forward. I believe every sober day has value because we start to cherish the time we were sober when we drink again, and we can use what we learned in a slip build a better bridge to sustained sobriety.
Have a good day everyone.
Live easy but think first
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Sonoran Desert
Posts: 480
Haven't checked in on this thread for a few days... 27 days today. Working the program as harder than I ever have and getting better results than I ever have.
Waiting for the time to leave for church and then I have my nephew's 7th birthday party. I was high at his 6th. So grateful to be clean and sober today.
Waiting for the time to leave for church and then I have my nephew's 7th birthday party. I was high at his 6th. So grateful to be clean and sober today.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
Good morning all. I went to a baby shower yesterday, not your traditional event, this one was open to guys and gals so the beer and wine was flowing. I knew this was a possibility (seems all of my family gatherings involve alcohol), but I am pleased to report that I didn't even have a twinge of desire to pick up; I stuck with water. No one seemed to over due it and it makes me wonder how many times I went to one of these events and just assumed everyone drank nonstop like me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 643
Hi everyone Monday morning here. I had another slip on Saturday and back again. I seriously thought should I post when it happens, and like Martina for a moment thought do I have the right to still be part of the group, but SR is what makes me keep trying to stay sober (one of the main things anyway). So once again I pick myself up, and dust myself off. If I can't be honest then what is the point of trying to quit, after all it would really be just lying to myself then.
Seriously thinking about AA as this is all that is around where I live, but looking at more strategies and in the meantime you are stuck with me! Don't like counting days though, it just puts more pressure on me at the moment, just day by day. Thanks for listening x
Seriously thinking about AA as this is all that is around where I live, but looking at more strategies and in the meantime you are stuck with me! Don't like counting days though, it just puts more pressure on me at the moment, just day by day. Thanks for listening x
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Just a note to anyone who slipped over the weekend - this is a support thread for anyone who's quit or trying to quit this month.
It's as much your thread if you're on day one as it is if you have over 30 days
.
Addiction leads us to shame guilt and self hatred - it likes to isolate us and cut us off from the herd so we can drink some more.
Don't listen to those thoughts. You are all welcome here
D
It's as much your thread if you're on day one as it is if you have over 30 days
.Addiction leads us to shame guilt and self hatred - it likes to isolate us and cut us off from the herd so we can drink some more.
Don't listen to those thoughts. You are all welcome here
D
Last edited by Dee74; 02-23-2014 at 02:27 PM.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
GCG,
You are part of this group. We all need help in acquiring sobriety. Your time will be right when it's right.
Do try however, to avail yourself of all the modalities that will help to achieve this.
I am using meetings, everyday, church, readings, SR, the big book, the bible, a sponsor and prayers. I still know my av likes to speak up too.
Best wishes!
You are part of this group. We all need help in acquiring sobriety. Your time will be right when it's right.
Do try however, to avail yourself of all the modalities that will help to achieve this.
I am using meetings, everyday, church, readings, SR, the big book, the bible, a sponsor and prayers. I still know my av likes to speak up too.
Best wishes!
Live easy but think first
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Sonoran Desert
Posts: 480
Originally Posted by Goldcoastgirl
I seriously thought should I post when it happens, and like Martina for a moment thought do I have the right to still be part of the group, but SR is what makes me keep trying to stay sober (one of the main things anyway). x
Please share your experience, best that you can. What thoughts were you having, what permissions were you giving yourself, what did you learn? We never have to use or drink again. We are lucky to find ourselves with recovery as an option today. What happened can serve our recovery.
Do you have support outside of SR?
Daxemus - The key to my serenity is acceptance.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 539
Day 47
Pissy and depressed today. Wine crossed my mind but never came close to being considered.
I am almost thankful for those WRETCHED, HELLISH hangovers, as it gives me something awful to associate with drinking.
I am almost thankful for those WRETCHED, HELLISH hangovers, as it gives me something awful to associate with drinking.
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