Class of July 2013 Pt 9
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
Leshar,
We are here for you, and you are here for us.
That's the way it works. Nothing you say has ever or will ever bring me down.
Only gives me more resolve to help lift you up and be here to help encourage you when I can.
I'm sure if we could all hug you, you would be swamped right now.
The only thing that could bring me down is if you didn't visit anymore.
We are here for you, and you are here for us.
That's the way it works. Nothing you say has ever or will ever bring me down.
Only gives me more resolve to help lift you up and be here to help encourage you when I can.
I'm sure if we could all hug you, you would be swamped right now.
The only thing that could bring me down is if you didn't visit anymore.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 387
Leshar
You came so far please don't drink, it is only a short term escape from depression and in the long run will make it worst.
You can do it and think of how much better you will feel long term for being sober. I can't speak for you but I have seen the quality of my life improve and relationships with others improve because I have the time to spend and be with people. Alcohol will just steal so much from you worst it steals your time. God bless you you can do it
You came so far please don't drink, it is only a short term escape from depression and in the long run will make it worst.
You can do it and think of how much better you will feel long term for being sober. I can't speak for you but I have seen the quality of my life improve and relationships with others improve because I have the time to spend and be with people. Alcohol will just steal so much from you worst it steals your time. God bless you you can do it
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 115
Leshar I am sure you might be getting sick of people suggesting you get a second opinion. But you really really should. Bugger the expense, you are worth it! You are incredibly strong to have come this far. Perhaps get a second opinion from a new psych.
We are worth the best level of care we can get. If a mechanic kept being unable to fix your car you would try another mechanic. Good luck and remember how brave and strong you are.
I started my new volunteer position yesterday. It's with a service which helps women who have been unemployed for a long time. We give them a whole new outfit for their first interview, to help them get their confidence back, as well as interview tips. It's really a great organisation. They are in the USA as well. I loved it, gave me a great feeling to be helping someone.
We are worth the best level of care we can get. If a mechanic kept being unable to fix your car you would try another mechanic. Good luck and remember how brave and strong you are.
I started my new volunteer position yesterday. It's with a service which helps women who have been unemployed for a long time. We give them a whole new outfit for their first interview, to help them get their confidence back, as well as interview tips. It's really a great organisation. They are in the USA as well. I loved it, gave me a great feeling to be helping someone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,997
Hello everyone,
You are all so kind and loving and supportive, when you are all going through your own life struggles. I feel terribly childish for not being able to look after myself properly.
EQ, on the advice of my psychiatrist's secretary, I called today, and I have another appointment for February 20th, and I'm supposed to check in with her by phone this Thursday to let her know how I'm doing so that she can send on that information to my psychiatrist.
I really think he is doing his best. He's the head of the mood disorders program at the hospital, and is far too over-worked as it is. I've come to realize that I have serious dependent personality traits. I think I sort of want him to rescue me, and he's treating me appropriately, I believe. He's not going to "there, there" me, and coddle me, and he's right. My husband always "rescued" me in a way. He knew it was going to be very difficult for me when he was gone; I remember him saying that he was worried I'd become an alcoholic, and well, he was right. I hate that I would even think of sucking back on a bottle, like a baby needing soothed. I'm not proud of myself, and have a long way to go, but I have to grow up and find a better path.
The mini dose of Seroquel has helped the anxiety somewhat, so I'm glad about that. It's just a short term measure while I go thru the antidepressant withdrawal, about another 7-10 days or so.
I have to work on my dependent personality and tendency to catastrophize things. It makes me far too self-centred, and not giving enough towards others. I would love to bring some brightness to others and not be a constant source of dreariness and misery.
I do recognize I am going through a depressive illness, I mean I know it's a real thing, but I'm not trying hard enough, I think, to look at healthy measures to look after myself that might shore up my resilience and better protect me in the future.
Of course, the main thing right now is to banish ridiculous thoughts that alcohol use is inevitable. It is not, not if I have faith and strength, and a willingness to plod along, and gain from the collective wisdom and experience of so many of you and others here on SR.
If I drink, it is I who is choosing that path. Has it helped, heck no, so I ain't going back there. If I cross the threshold of a liquor store, I'm done, and I've still got a bit of fight in me!
And hey guys, that is today in large part due to all of you who clearly want the best for me, as I do for all of you in this fight that we will get through, if we WANT it enough!!
Love you guys, thank you so much, I'm humbled by the reaching out to me, and I will not let you, nor myself down.
You are all so kind and loving and supportive, when you are all going through your own life struggles. I feel terribly childish for not being able to look after myself properly.
EQ, on the advice of my psychiatrist's secretary, I called today, and I have another appointment for February 20th, and I'm supposed to check in with her by phone this Thursday to let her know how I'm doing so that she can send on that information to my psychiatrist.
I really think he is doing his best. He's the head of the mood disorders program at the hospital, and is far too over-worked as it is. I've come to realize that I have serious dependent personality traits. I think I sort of want him to rescue me, and he's treating me appropriately, I believe. He's not going to "there, there" me, and coddle me, and he's right. My husband always "rescued" me in a way. He knew it was going to be very difficult for me when he was gone; I remember him saying that he was worried I'd become an alcoholic, and well, he was right. I hate that I would even think of sucking back on a bottle, like a baby needing soothed. I'm not proud of myself, and have a long way to go, but I have to grow up and find a better path.
The mini dose of Seroquel has helped the anxiety somewhat, so I'm glad about that. It's just a short term measure while I go thru the antidepressant withdrawal, about another 7-10 days or so.
I have to work on my dependent personality and tendency to catastrophize things. It makes me far too self-centred, and not giving enough towards others. I would love to bring some brightness to others and not be a constant source of dreariness and misery.
I do recognize I am going through a depressive illness, I mean I know it's a real thing, but I'm not trying hard enough, I think, to look at healthy measures to look after myself that might shore up my resilience and better protect me in the future.
Of course, the main thing right now is to banish ridiculous thoughts that alcohol use is inevitable. It is not, not if I have faith and strength, and a willingness to plod along, and gain from the collective wisdom and experience of so many of you and others here on SR.
If I drink, it is I who is choosing that path. Has it helped, heck no, so I ain't going back there. If I cross the threshold of a liquor store, I'm done, and I've still got a bit of fight in me!
And hey guys, that is today in large part due to all of you who clearly want the best for me, as I do for all of you in this fight that we will get through, if we WANT it enough!!
Love you guys, thank you so much, I'm humbled by the reaching out to me, and I will not let you, nor myself down.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
SR is about support Leshar - nothing childish about it 
I'm glad you got another appointment - and if you have confidence in your current pdoc, that's more than good enough for me
D
I'm glad you got another appointment - and if you have confidence in your current pdoc, that's more than good enough for me
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,997
Hi Lisa,
That sounds great, your volunteer position. Good for you! And good too, for those women who are working hard to get out there at a difficult economic time, to try and get back out in the workforce and feel better about themselves.
Sounds like a great organization!
Thanks for your support and the car/mechanic analogy. You see, I'm coming to realize that my "car" isn't working properly because I keep putting the wrong kind of gas in it, and not doing regular "maintenance" and so it keeps staying buggered up!! Only I can change that!
That sounds great, your volunteer position. Good for you! And good too, for those women who are working hard to get out there at a difficult economic time, to try and get back out in the workforce and feel better about themselves.
Sounds like a great organization!
Thanks for your support and the car/mechanic analogy. You see, I'm coming to realize that my "car" isn't working properly because I keep putting the wrong kind of gas in it, and not doing regular "maintenance" and so it keeps staying buggered up!! Only I can change that!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Leshar im with Dee honey ;-) if you have confidence in your psych , you are the best one to judge .xx
You sound so much better this morning .
We all love you and support you .
Although none of us have met face to face , there will always be a bond ;-) xxx
You sound so much better this morning .
We all love you and support you .
Although none of us have met face to face , there will always be a bond ;-) xxx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
You sound much better Leshar
Doing good here, now. Back on Day 3, but I know what I need I do differently. One thing that needs to stop for now is hubby drinking around me. Even just him having a couple of beers can be a trigger. So, my new sobriety date is my daughters bd. Not going to mess it up again. Fortunately, I was sober and not hungover for her bd and she had a wonderful party/day. Need to build up some sober time again and stop this madness. Thanks for being here guys. Still love you all
Doing good here, now. Back on Day 3, but I know what I need I do differently. One thing that needs to stop for now is hubby drinking around me. Even just him having a couple of beers can be a trigger. So, my new sobriety date is my daughters bd. Not going to mess it up again. Fortunately, I was sober and not hungover for her bd and she had a wonderful party/day. Need to build up some sober time again and stop this madness. Thanks for being here guys. Still love you all
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
Ladybugs it sounds like you are learning about what snags you ....and that can only help your sobriety. Good for you!
Leshar Im so proud of you. Everything you said about your Dr and the plan and your part in it, sounds so insightful and spot on to me.
Be kind to yourself please. Antidepressant withdrawal can be intense and I think it's expected that you might feel like you are regressing at times.
Keep talking to us and remind yourself this is temporary and there is a plan. And that plan is open to change as you go along.
Just like Addiction Recovery is!!
Leshar Im so proud of you. Everything you said about your Dr and the plan and your part in it, sounds so insightful and spot on to me.
Be kind to yourself please. Antidepressant withdrawal can be intense and I think it's expected that you might feel like you are regressing at times.
Keep talking to us and remind yourself this is temporary and there is a plan. And that plan is open to change as you go along.
Just like Addiction Recovery is!!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Northern California
Posts: 563
Hi all -
Leshar, so glad you are feeling a little better!
Lisa, that organization sounds great.
Ladybug, congrats on day three. Will your hubby support you by not drinking around you? I know that if my BF drank beer and wine at home I would have a hard time too.
Very stressed right now. More work on my desk than I can handle, with conflicting priorities. Stressful at home - BF is no support. He's not drank (or not drank much) for the past couple of days. But something else has come up involving a female "friend" of his. Ugh. This is a friend who was very upset when we started dating. According to my BF, even though he had always been very clear with her that he wasn't interested in being more than friends, she still hoped they would. And so she was upset when he found a girlfriend. My boyfriend believes that now she is okay with being just friends, but I am not comfortable with the situation. She contacts him from time to time about getting together for dinner, coffee etc. - just the two of them of course. She's expressed no interest in getting to know me at all. In fact, the one instance where my BF was going to bring me to something she invited him to (a trip to an amusement park with her two teenage daughters), she cancelled. And tonight they are having dinner while I am at my every-other week visit to my Grandma. I do trust that he's not having an affair or is interested romantically in her - after all, if he wanted to date her he could of before I even came into the picture. But he just refuses to see my side of it - I think it's incredibly disrepectful and rude of her to invite him out solo while he's in a relationship. And I think it's disrespectful for him to go. I have plenty of male friends and 1) when they are in a relationship I am genuinely happy for them and want to get to know their girlfriend and 2) I respect the fact that they are in a relationship and would never ask them to dinner without including both my BF and their GF/ wife. He even said last night - he waited until 8 o'clock to tell me about dinner with her even though they'd made these plans last week - when I said this that he wouldn't be comfortable going out to dinner with both of us. WTF?
I know this isn't a relationship problem forum, but I had to vent!
NCG
Leshar, so glad you are feeling a little better!
Lisa, that organization sounds great.
Ladybug, congrats on day three. Will your hubby support you by not drinking around you? I know that if my BF drank beer and wine at home I would have a hard time too.
Very stressed right now. More work on my desk than I can handle, with conflicting priorities. Stressful at home - BF is no support. He's not drank (or not drank much) for the past couple of days. But something else has come up involving a female "friend" of his. Ugh. This is a friend who was very upset when we started dating. According to my BF, even though he had always been very clear with her that he wasn't interested in being more than friends, she still hoped they would. And so she was upset when he found a girlfriend. My boyfriend believes that now she is okay with being just friends, but I am not comfortable with the situation. She contacts him from time to time about getting together for dinner, coffee etc. - just the two of them of course. She's expressed no interest in getting to know me at all. In fact, the one instance where my BF was going to bring me to something she invited him to (a trip to an amusement park with her two teenage daughters), she cancelled. And tonight they are having dinner while I am at my every-other week visit to my Grandma. I do trust that he's not having an affair or is interested romantically in her - after all, if he wanted to date her he could of before I even came into the picture. But he just refuses to see my side of it - I think it's incredibly disrepectful and rude of her to invite him out solo while he's in a relationship. And I think it's disrespectful for him to go. I have plenty of male friends and 1) when they are in a relationship I am genuinely happy for them and want to get to know their girlfriend and 2) I respect the fact that they are in a relationship and would never ask them to dinner without including both my BF and their GF/ wife. He even said last night - he waited until 8 o'clock to tell me about dinner with her even though they'd made these plans last week - when I said this that he wouldn't be comfortable going out to dinner with both of us. WTF?
I know this isn't a relationship problem forum, but I had to vent!
NCG
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Croissant, very sorry for your loss. Hang in there.
NCG, I totally agree with you regarding your bf's friend and I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. I am not very trusting when it comes to other women, though. She should be making an effort to get to know you if she truly just wants a friendship from your bf. Tough one. To answer your question, yes, my hubby will be very supportive and not drink around me. I just didn't realize and wasn't honest with him about how much of a trigger it has been for me.
Huge snowstorm heading our way late tonight/tomorrow. 8-12 inches. Ugh. So ready for spring/summer.
Have a great day, friends.
NCG, I totally agree with you regarding your bf's friend and I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. I am not very trusting when it comes to other women, though. She should be making an effort to get to know you if she truly just wants a friendship from your bf. Tough one. To answer your question, yes, my hubby will be very supportive and not drink around me. I just didn't realize and wasn't honest with him about how much of a trigger it has been for me.
Huge snowstorm heading our way late tonight/tomorrow. 8-12 inches. Ugh. So ready for spring/summer.
Have a great day, friends.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Croissant
, darling i am so very sorry for your loss , we all are .
If there is anything we can do , you know we are here for you sweetheart. Our thoughts and love are with you at this sad time , much love always ...your July friends xxxxx.
NCG ... No, no , no, no, no! .....just wrong on all levels .
You are in a relationship with your bf ...not her .
There was a girl at my husbands work who kept asking him out to go swimming with her after work at the pool. ( this was when we weren't married)
She told him he was a good listener and started dropping him off every night after work telling him about her problems . I asked him to invite her in for a coffee. She said she wouldn't feel comfortable with me .
I'm not jealous by nature at all but something wasn't feeling right . I totally trusted my husband ..and don't take offence guys ...but NCG sometimes men are just dumb!
He didn't realise he was hurting my feelings , he didn't see what she was doing .
He actually got his bathers (swimsuit) or whatever you guys call it ...to take to work with him ...i said ...um NO ! I don't think so .(dumb) he never hid anything , he just didn't think how i would feel.
So next day i said i think its time we got a second car , cos its hard juggling work , the kids etc with just 1 car . Problem solved .
Mannnnn was she pissed !
I told him it upsets me that I'm not invited and i would prefer it if he didn't go out alone with her any more as it upset me He never did from that day .
I would tell your bf it's not right . He probably doesn't have any wrong intentions NCG , but if he drinks whilst with her , we know where that can end .
It bothered me that he said he wouldn't feel comfortable with both of you there .
Simple ...he doesn't go then .
This is only my opinion , but to me its just not right , especially considering she liked him before this . No ...no..no...
Good luck with that hun xx let me know how you go .
Your tummy will be in knots the whole time they are out , so this in itself is wrong ...nip it in the bud .
Hugs xxxxxx
, darling i am so very sorry for your loss , we all are .If there is anything we can do , you know we are here for you sweetheart. Our thoughts and love are with you at this sad time , much love always ...your July friends xxxxx.
NCG ... No, no , no, no, no! .....just wrong on all levels .
You are in a relationship with your bf ...not her .
There was a girl at my husbands work who kept asking him out to go swimming with her after work at the pool. ( this was when we weren't married)
She told him he was a good listener and started dropping him off every night after work telling him about her problems . I asked him to invite her in for a coffee. She said she wouldn't feel comfortable with me .
I'm not jealous by nature at all but something wasn't feeling right . I totally trusted my husband ..and don't take offence guys ...but NCG sometimes men are just dumb!
He didn't realise he was hurting my feelings , he didn't see what she was doing .
He actually got his bathers (swimsuit) or whatever you guys call it ...to take to work with him ...i said ...um NO ! I don't think so .(dumb) he never hid anything , he just didn't think how i would feel.
So next day i said i think its time we got a second car , cos its hard juggling work , the kids etc with just 1 car . Problem solved .
Mannnnn was she pissed !
I told him it upsets me that I'm not invited and i would prefer it if he didn't go out alone with her any more as it upset me He never did from that day .
I would tell your bf it's not right . He probably doesn't have any wrong intentions NCG , but if he drinks whilst with her , we know where that can end .
It bothered me that he said he wouldn't feel comfortable with both of you there .
Simple ...he doesn't go then .
This is only my opinion , but to me its just not right , especially considering she liked him before this . No ...no..no...
Good luck with that hun xx let me know how you go .
Your tummy will be in knots the whole time they are out , so this in itself is wrong ...nip it in the bud .
Hugs xxxxxx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,997
Dear Croissant,
I am so sorry for your loss and want to send you hugs and strength as you go through such a sad time.
I do hope you have the support of family and other loved ones as you deal with your loss.
Thinking of you.
Take care.
I am so sorry for your loss and want to send you hugs and strength as you go through such a sad time.
I do hope you have the support of family and other loved ones as you deal with your loss.
Thinking of you.
Take care.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Northern California
Posts: 563
Originally Posted by SnoozyQ 
I told him it upsets me that I'm not invited and i would prefer it if he didn't go out alone with her any more as it upset me He never did from that day .
I would tell your bf it's not right . He probably doesn't have any wrong intentions NCG , but if he drinks whilst with her , we know where that can end .
It bothered me that he said he wouldn't feel comfortable with both of you there .
Simple ...he doesn't go then .
I don't think he'll drink while out to dinner. I don't think she's aware of his alcohol issues, and I'm sure he doesn't want her to find out.
Thanks for your support!
NCG
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