Emily2002

Last night I actually wrote a nice long post to catch up with everyone, but ended up losing it because I hit the wrong button. :headband One of the things I actually wrote in response to your recent posts is that I admire you immensely for striking out on your new career. In my case, I didn't realize my career passion until I was married with children and couldn't pursue it. I did return to school two years ago in hopes of getting a graduate degree in that area, but I soon realized it was financially irresponsible of me to do so with all the loans we've already taken out to send those fours kids to college. As a matter of fact, I'm heading to Boston tomorrow because my son has a theater audition at Emerson.

Long story short, I always remind myself that although things may seem greener on the other side of the fence, I have the ability to cultivate my own beautiful garden.

Also, some good news for you... Older women are more likely to have twins! It's TRUE! Just google it!!!

Hugs, and have a wonderful day, Br00ksie. Keep believing.

Emily2002

I'm guilty of taking that weight on, as well. Years of therapy have taught me that only part of that is in my DNA. I felt responsible for way too much at too early an age due to things that were going on at home, and I internalized everything. It wasn't until I turned 50 that I discovered the beauty of mindfulness breathing, recognizing the things I can/cannot control, and most importantly… letting go.

Children, animals and the elderly tug at my heartstrings, big time. When trying to help, I now ask myself, "What can I comfortably do in this particular case?" I figure that out and help or move on.

Not sure if that helps, but it works for me!

phoebe64

It is probably a good thing that my husband does not care for pets, and my daughter is very allergic to cats. Otherwise, I couls see myself taking in strays/fostering animals and keeping a few here and there. LOL. As it is, we rescued 3 orphaned bunnies and got them to a wildlife rehab person this past summer. A neighbor's dog ravaged the nest and killed the mom. My daughter grabbed the babies before she got them. About a day old. Don't even ask what it cost me. and their survivial being hand raised is rare. One made it to release.

And I am the carpool mom, the one to always help another mother, helped my very dysfunctional auntie, etc... My career was in health care. need I say more? It is a big reason why I am not working. I knew i was caring too much for everyone and could not go to work and do more of it all day long. I was fortunate to have that choice. But now I gotta figure something out wrt going back to work!

Here is something to make you all go, "awwwwwww!"

FishnHippy

I can see you being a beautiful cougar one day

kellbell123

Thats some good insight NewLeaf and I suppose I am this way because when I was very little my parents were big partiers. House was always full of people, loud music, drinking and drugging. I remember always caring for my little brother because it was scary for us. I suppose that started the pattern of wanting to keep everyone safe and happy.
Thank you for your thoughts. I will work on letting go of what I cannot control. And as Fish said Pray!

phoebe64

I identify with that Kellbell. Not partying, but my mom was a binge alcoholic and starting around age 5, I was very aware of that. I was also put in the middle of my parents' conflicts over it. My father would ask me if mommy had been having beer, and she would hate me for telling on her. I think these things make us into very responsible children, often caregivers for others, as we tend to have to do more than other kids, and be more serious and alert. We get pretty good life skills at younger ages than most.

FishnHippy

Does anyone know can they use hypnotics to control alcohol abuse?

phoebe64

My opinion, is it could be a tool, for certain people who are suggestible to it. I do not think there are any magic cures, though. I took a class in self-hypnosis for weight loss, but did not lose weight. So there ya go, lol. Seriously, I found it extremely helpful for relaxation and to center myself during panic and anxiety attacks, even though it was not helpful for weight loss.

Kaneda8888

Morning all, a bright sunny day down here

It seems as if the weeks have been flying by as of late. I do a weekly reflection at one of my AA meetings and I've been surprised at how quickly the reflection comes around. This is how it seems for most aspects (200 consecutive days of meditation !) except my sober days which just crawl on by It has seemed like an eternity to reach 5 months.

I dont really seem to have good or bad days rather I have good or bad moments. They dont last very long, maybe 1-2 hours at most especially the times when I am down. Usually that occurs when I am walking somewhere or late at night, I find myself either lapsing into the past and all these resentments build up or I start getting anxious about the future and my job hunting (which is hopefully heating up). Fortunately, I have been able to catch myself in these 'time vortexs' and refocus on the present. That is a temporary fix though.

I do know that I need to address these issues more deeply especially the resentments. I've finished the Buddhist teachings text and the other night went to the grand Buddhist centre to listen to the resident lama give a teaching. The teaching focused around the eightfold path with the dominant theme of compassion towards all beings.

Showing compassion for others is something I can do for most folks but it is incredibly difficult to show compassion for folks that I have resentment towards. Rationally, I can acknowledge that they are suffering as well and hence, why their actions seem offensive to me. However, I have to really focus hard and open my mind to enable any sense of compassion towards them (and stow away the baseball bat).

For me its important to be able to have true compassion towards those folks as it will free me as well. I need that. So, this weekend, I will do some vipassana and reflect on anger and resentment. There is a decent section on negative energy/emotions in my meditation book. Time to reread it !

Has anyone got other tips on dealing with resentment ? I would looove to hear it !

Have a lovely day/evening ! THanks and love to all !

phoebe64

When you figure out how to free yourself of resentments, Kaneda, let me know the secret! I do not hold them against many people, but have a person or two that bring me there.

I can be kind to the people, but I don't forget or truly let it go, in that I can still dwell on the issues that causes the resentment.

FishnHippy

Where everyone I guess this is it for now. I gotta start getting ready whenever I get better I will be back I hope you all are still here..

FishnHippy

This is where the cowboy rides away.

Dee74

Best wishes to you Fishn
See you in a few

D

Dee74

Kane, I learned that the way forward is for me to forgive people.

Forgiveness doesn't mean I agree with what they did, or that I should let them close to me again - it's simply an act of, truly, letting go - I take my hands from around their neck...I let go, so I can move on

D

Kaneda8888

Fishy

I wish you all the very very best. I truly hope this rehab will do wonders for you. Dont be afraid, just approach with an open mind and no prejudices !

GO FISHY GO !!!!!

We will be here rooting for ya !

phoebe64

Fishy, you will most definitely be in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you all the best in your rehab experience. How long will you be there?

BLKDIESEL

Happy fishn Fishy.....we all plan to be here when you return...well I plan to be lol. have a sober journey my friend. work the process, don't let it work you

Renarde

We will be here! Go get 'em!

GotGrace

Go get 'em Fishy! Go with God, friend.

Kaneda, I agree with what Dee said. Forgiveness is huge but very difficult. Like Dee said, forgiveness does not condone what the other person has done, but it is taking the burden of it off my back and laying it down. As a Christ follower, I take it a step further and believe that God knows what has happened and He will deal with it; I don't have to do His job for Him. I suppose for others this might look like karma or "what goes around comes around." I hope you are able to find some peace with the people who have wronged you.

kellbell123

Wishing you well Fishy!