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Class of September 2013 - Part 26

Old 02-05-2014, 05:33 PM
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Can I call you peanutbutt for shortening?
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Old 02-05-2014, 05:37 PM
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Hi PBC, welcome to our class !

I am 48, male, married and have 3 girls ranging in age form 18 to 12. Fortunately our dog is male so I am not alone I live down under in Oz whre it is stinking hot right now. Not that I am complaining after a long winter. My drinking graduated from being heavy to problem to dysfunctional alcoholic to plain vanilla alcoholic. With the wonderful support from SR, AA, meditation, I have begun to slowly recover !
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Old 02-05-2014, 07:10 PM
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Welcome, PBC!

I'm a 52 year young, married mother of four. Oldest son 24, youngest son 18 and 22 twin girls in the middle.

I've been at this for about 10 years, initially coming to SR because I was heavily binge-drinking due to depression. Thanks to people here, a great therapist, and continued attempts at self-discovery I think I'm finally getting "it." I'm learning to set boundaries (can't be everything to everyone 24/7) and trying to get sober for good to be even healthier and happier.
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Old 02-05-2014, 07:51 PM
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Welcome, PBC!

I'm in my late 30's, a chef and a beekeeper. No hubby, no kids. I have a lot of brothers and sisters here in the September class, we are a good family and its good to meet you! They keep an eye on me as I haven't strung more than 37 sober days together since we started. Its a great support here, you will love it here!

Best,
Melina
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Old 02-05-2014, 08:38 PM
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Loved seeing the number/ ages of everyone's children!

NewLeaf - you have twins? I WANT twins. My great uncles were twins and my middle brother and sister (23 years old and live in Iowa) are twins. My sister who's the twin is married.

All of you guys were young parents! I feel like I was built for motherhood. My mom agrees.

I wanted so badly to be a young parent but I haven't gotten my life together. I got a cat because a dog was too much of a responsibility!

One relationship comes to mind that, had I stayed in, would most likely have lead to marriage and children, but I would be drunk every day and not in recovery if that were the case.

That ex was my best friend for 8 years, then we dated and he became a monster, or he was a monster and just hid it from me or I didn't see it. He just made partner at his law firm and I am not happy for him and that bothers me. I wanted so badly for us to work but he was so mean I had to end it. He also has a drinking problem.

I know I still have time and I'm not old, but ALL of my friends are married and having babies - 5/6 of the weddings I've been in have children and I have many other friends who have babies. I hope that I get my life together and meet someone in time to make little mini-me's (or mini-him's)!

I guess I'm just torn at this point between what I envisioned my life to be and how it is actually turning out. The jury is still out on that one!

Trying to stay positive regardless.
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Old 02-05-2014, 08:45 PM
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Hi I'll introduce myself too. 34 years old living by myself after kicking out John Barleycorn 1st sep. last year. My job as a medical professional is time consuming, in my time off I enjoy travelling most but spend time with video games and movies etc. Been drinking progressively too much between 2010-2013, now repairing damage and figuring out how to live again can't moderate, at step 2 in AA.
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Old 02-05-2014, 08:50 PM
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Brooksie, over half of my friends are married with kids by now. Having stopped drinking is the first step towards that though
On the right track and going the right way, choo choo
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Old 02-05-2014, 08:52 PM
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<<<taps the mike>>>> Is this thing on? Check, check, check....ahem, cough. ok I'm ready.

Hello, it's really great to be here ~ try the veal, it's spectacular.

I am quite old, quite tired....but stone, cold sober. I live in San Diego, California with my husband, two daughters (11 and 15) and our four dogs. I didn't count on having four dogs, but I have a soft heart when it comes to rescues. One of them is a Newfoundland, who takes up an entire room when he lies down for a nap.

Welcome PBC - it's nice of you to join us.
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Old 02-05-2014, 09:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Br00ksie View Post
Loved seeing the number/ ages of everyone's children!

NewLeaf - you have twins? I WANT twins. My great uncles were twins and my middle brother and sister (23 years old and live in Iowa) are twins. My sister who's the twin is married.

All of you guys were young parents! I feel like I was built for motherhood. My mom agrees.

I wanted so badly to be a young parent but I haven't gotten my life together. I got a cat because a dog was too much of a responsibility!

One relationship comes to mind that, had I stayed in, would most likely have lead to marriage and children, but I would be drunk every day and not in recovery if that were the case.

That ex was my best friend for 8 years, then we dated and he became a monster, or he was a monster and just hid it from me or I didn't see it. He just made partner at his law firm and I am not happy for him and that bothers me. I wanted so badly for us to work but he was so mean I had to end it. He also has a drinking problem.

I know I still have time and I'm not old, but ALL of my friends are married and having babies - 5/6 of the weddings I've been in have children and I have many other friends who have babies. I hope that I get my life together and meet someone in time to make little mini-me's (or mini-him's)!

I guess I'm just torn at this point between what I envisioned my life to be and how it is actually turning out. The jury is still out on that one!

Trying to stay positive regardless.
Brooksie, you have TIME!

This made me think of you since you mentioned Black History Month and to be sure, its pretty much what I always have thought of you:

Nina Simone To Be Young Gifted And Black - YouTube
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Old 02-05-2014, 09:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Melina View Post
Brooksie, you have TIME!

This made me think of you since you mentioned Black History Month and to be sure, its pretty much what I always have thought of you:

Nina Simone To Be Young Gifted And Black - YouTube
Thank u Melina, you made my night! Nina is one of my favorite singers evar!
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Old 02-05-2014, 10:24 PM
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Originally Posted by LillianGish View Post
I didn't count on having four dogs, but I have a soft heart when it comes to rescues. One of them is a Newfoundland, who takes up an entire room when he lies down for a nap.
Lillian

Four dogs including a Newfoundland....seriously ? I've seen Newfoundlands before, they are basically a very hairy version of a Jeep. Is there a ranking order between the dogs ? I would imagine you need an enormous shovel to clean after the Newfoundland

Well done...I think
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Old 02-06-2014, 02:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Kaneda8888 View Post
Lillian

Four dogs including a Newfoundland....seriously ? I've seen Newfoundlands before, they are basically a very hairy version of a Jeep. Is there a ranking order between the dogs ? I would imagine you need an enormous shovel to clean after the Newfoundland

Well done...I think
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Old 02-06-2014, 02:58 AM
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I live in Wales currently separated work full time and care for elderly dad had few slips before Christmas but managed all of January sober yay me. Have to admit though that if there had been alcohol in house other than my dad's guiness I might have succumbed still can't get my head around forever just trying to have a sober February
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Old 02-06-2014, 03:01 AM
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Lil - my daughter and I are going to volunteer at our local shelter. I have a big soft heart from animals and children both. I will probably want to bring all them furry lovies home. Ill have to draw a line.
-------------------
This had me thinking though. It seems there are a lot of reasons I drank and yet another one is they way I internalize things when I hear about something bad happening to animals and children. For example I was watching a documentary on elephants a couple weeks ago and just started crying snd crying and crying. I get so upset. Those AASCA commercials that ask for money to help rescue abused and neglected animals? Waterworks all the way (ive learned to leave the room or change the channel)

Anyway, for me I tend to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. Drinking used to numb that pain. Ive found ways to deal with much of my other reasons fir drinking. But this one? Short of avoiding the news etc I dont know how to come to peace with all the bad things in the world.

I know we have a lot if softies in thus group. I can just tell and maybe this is another common trait among alcoholics. So my question to you all is how fo you find peace in your heart with these things?
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Old 02-06-2014, 03:20 AM
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Lol Kane at the hairy Jeep.
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Old 02-06-2014, 03:26 AM
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If and when I get my life in order I'm thinking about adopting another lab or a Greyhound., there is a rescue in our area that has a lot of the Greyhounds it's a sad story about those dogs. They will love you to death they say it's like owning a 50 mile an hour couch potato.
.
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Old 02-06-2014, 03:29 AM
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Originally Posted by kellbell123 View Post
Lil - my daughter and I are going to volunteer at our local shelter. I have a big soft heart from animals and children both. I will probably want to bring all them furry lovies home. Ill have to draw a line.
-------------------
This had me thinking though. It seems there are a lot of reasons I drank and yet another one is they way I internalize things when I hear about something bad happening to animals and children. For example I was watching a documentary on elephants a couple weeks ago and just started crying snd crying and crying. I get so upset. Those AASCA commercials that ask for money to help rescue abused and neglected animals? Waterworks all the way (ive learned to leave the room or change the channel)

Anyway, for me I tend to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. Drinking used to numb that pain. Ive found ways to deal with much of my other reasons fir drinking. But this one? Short of avoiding the news etc I dont know how to come to peace with all the bad things in the world.

I know we have a lot if softies in thus group. I can just tell and maybe this is another common trait among alcoholics. So my question to you all is how fo you find peace in your heart with these things?
Pray pray and pray again
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Old 02-06-2014, 04:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Br00ksie View Post
Loved seeing the number/ ages of everyone's children!

NewLeaf - you have twins? I WANT twins. My great uncles were twins and my middle brother and sister (23 years old and live in Iowa) are twins. My sister who's the twin is married.

All of you guys were young parents! I feel like I was built for motherhood. My mom agrees.

I wanted so badly to be a young parent but I haven't gotten my life together. I got a cat because a dog was too much of a responsibility!

One relationship comes to mind that, had I stayed in, would most likely have lead to marriage and children, but I would be drunk every day and not in recovery if that were the case.

That ex was my best friend for 8 years, then we dated and he became a monster, or he was a monster and just hid it from me or I didn't see it. He just made partner at his law firm and I am not happy for him and that bothers me. I wanted so badly for us to work but he was so mean I had to end it. He also has a drinking problem.

I know I still have time and I'm not old, but ALL of my friends are married and having babies - 5/6 of the weddings I've been in have children and I have many other friends who have babies. I hope that I get my life together and meet someone in time to make little mini-me's (or mini-him's)!

I guess I'm just torn at this point between what I envisioned my life to be and how it is actually turning out. The jury is still out on that one!

Trying to stay positive regardless.
Brooksie, I was nudging 31 when I married. I had my daughter at 35 and son at 39. You have tons of time! With sobriety, you will make better choices and be in the path of better quality partners as well. That is my opinion!
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Old 02-06-2014, 05:21 AM
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~~~Food for thought ~ Thoughtful Thursday Edition~~~
~The Only Place 2 Change Your Past...Is With Your Present~

Everyone has regrets. We've all said or done things we're not proud of, or that failed to get us the results we want. But torturing yourself by rehashing those moments isn't going to put the past to rest any more than ignoring them would. Karma isn't a cosmic evaluation slip that says, "Too bad, you failed the test." It's merely a clue to where you need to do some self-reflection. Karma says, "Mine your experience for what it can teach you about your habitual responses to the world." You need to find out what's keeping you from expressing fully who you are.

There's a common misperception that karma locks us into what was true in the past. Fortunately, that's not the case. Character and personality are malleable. We can and do change. In fact, our inner experience of the world changes constantly. That's why it matters so much what thoughts we entertain.

~~~Important Note~~~
"If we cling to our old ways of thinking, we'll simply respond as we always have and the same things will keep happening to us. The first step toward awakening is admitting you want something different."

The only place you can change the past is in the present. By not focusing on the "story" of your life--the events themselves--but rather on how you interpret and shape those events, you will start to see patterns emerging. Insight into the assumptions that have been running your life will tell you why things turn out in certain ways. The patterns and habits you've developed are karmic opportunities.

Unlike age or eye color or family of origin, they're aspects of yourself you have the power to change, which could, in turn, change your life. Karma arises out of our choices. When we choose not to respond as in the past, we create the possibility of a different future. ~Joan Duncan Oliver~
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Old 02-06-2014, 05:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Br00ksie View Post
Loved seeing the number/ ages of everyone's children!

NewLeaf - you have twins? I WANT twins. My great uncles were twins and my middle brother and sister (23 years old and live in Iowa) are twins. My sister who's the twin is married.

All of you guys were young parents! I feel like I was built for motherhood. My mom agrees.

I wanted so badly to be a young parent but I haven't gotten my life together. I got a cat because a dog was too much of a responsibility!

One relationship comes to mind that, had I stayed in, would most likely have lead to marriage and children, but I would be drunk every day and not in recovery if that were the case.

That ex was my best friend for 8 years, then we dated and he became a monster, or he was a monster and just hid it from me or I didn't see it. He just made partner at his law firm and I am not happy for him and that bothers me. I wanted so badly for us to work but he was so mean I had to end it. He also has a drinking problem.

I know I still have time and I'm not old, but ALL of my friends are married and having babies - 5/6 of the weddings I've been in have children and I have many other friends who have babies. I hope that I get my life together and meet someone in time to make little mini-me's (or mini-him's)!

I guess I'm just torn at this point between what I envisioned my life to be and how it is actually turning out. The jury is still out on that one!

Trying to stay positive regardless.
Brooksie, echoing what Rochele said, I was 41 when I had my last baby and she was only a little bit of a surprise. Lots of time for you, Brooksie. The important thing is for you to get yourself to YOU. Then you find will find the man who will love and appreciate you. Then you get busy.....
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