Sobriety Limericks Part 6
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Now I'm remembering the last time I saw a guy in a thong
I have to admit, I thought it was just a little bit wrong
Some things I'd just as well forget
But that one hasn't left my memory yet
Zero, I'm sure you'd look quite handsome
A thong and a red cape will become the new fashion
Everyone will think you're a hero
And say, "I want to dress like zero"
Else, I'm a bit jealous- I wish I had a tractor. Not sure what I would do with it but it sounds cool!
I have to admit, I thought it was just a little bit wrong
Some things I'd just as well forget
But that one hasn't left my memory yet
Zero, I'm sure you'd look quite handsome
A thong and a red cape will become the new fashion
Everyone will think you're a hero
And say, "I want to dress like zero"
Else, I'm a bit jealous- I wish I had a tractor. Not sure what I would do with it but it sounds cool!
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
zero oh please let me ride your tractor
I promise to become benificent benefactor
A guitar for your songs
A supply of silk thongs
And on gas days a built in extractor
A brush to groom that lush back hair
They'll chase you all over that fair
I'll wear lime green cozzie
Knitted in dental floss, sheesh
And you can drag me back to your lair!
I promise to become benificent benefactor
A guitar for your songs
A supply of silk thongs
And on gas days a built in extractor
A brush to groom that lush back hair
They'll chase you all over that fair
I'll wear lime green cozzie
Knitted in dental floss, sheesh
And you can drag me back to your lair!
waking down
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
Now, where was I? Oh, yes!
Twas the state fair thong mess
That began with my sexy pink tractor
I escaped to the forest
After singing a chorus
With toots, my beneficent benefactor
We ran arm in arm
To Elseware's green farm
Skipping and giggling like school girls
But realizing that
I'm a little bit fat
I bent over and launched a few hurls
Now, toots was not pleased
In fact, a bit cheesed
And said I should work out more often
I said, "Yeah, I know,
there won't be any show
if I end up my own fur-lined coffin."
Then she asked, "What is that?"
"Why, it's our friend venuscat.
She came here with our good buddy DG."
It was all so fantastic
We commenced dancing spastic
And kept our depression at bay
Elseware then appeared
With her man and his beard
And said we were welcome and blessed
But first there's one task
A small thing to ask
Zero will have to get dressed
Or something.
Twas the state fair thong mess
That began with my sexy pink tractor
I escaped to the forest
After singing a chorus
With toots, my beneficent benefactor
We ran arm in arm
To Elseware's green farm
Skipping and giggling like school girls
But realizing that
I'm a little bit fat
I bent over and launched a few hurls
Now, toots was not pleased
In fact, a bit cheesed
And said I should work out more often
I said, "Yeah, I know,
there won't be any show
if I end up my own fur-lined coffin."
Then she asked, "What is that?"
"Why, it's our friend venuscat.
She came here with our good buddy DG."
It was all so fantastic
We commenced dancing spastic
And kept our depression at bay
Elseware then appeared
With her man and his beard
And said we were welcome and blessed
But first there's one task
A small thing to ask
Zero will have to get dressed
Or something.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Originally Posted by Elseware 
P.s. my tractor is day-glo orange
And I so am calling dibs on riding on your tractor with you Else. I'll just let Toots have thong-clad Zero to herself.
waking down
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
Originally Posted by tootsl1
Zero, I like my men cuddly, so don't work out too much!! 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
10 months for me without a drink
That's pretty cool, I think
I've come so far
Thanks to all on SR
My life has improved
And so has my mood
I have more money in my wallet
Now that I no longer am a practicing alcoholic
I can think pretty straight
And feel less irate
I'm much more healthy
And even more wealthy
I no longer feel such despair
I'm even learning the power of prayer
When I struggled, I continued to plod
And now I feel really quite awed
That's pretty cool, I think
I've come so far
Thanks to all on SR
My life has improved
And so has my mood
I have more money in my wallet
Now that I no longer am a practicing alcoholic
I can think pretty straight
And feel less irate
I'm much more healthy
And even more wealthy
I no longer feel such despair
I'm even learning the power of prayer
When I struggled, I continued to plod
And now I feel really quite awed
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Originally Posted by zerothehero
Sorry to disappoint, but though I'm not in great shape, I'm down to 175 lbs., and 5 lbs. of that is hair. So, cuddly, but kind of boney.
I'm sorry to hear
Zero has ruined your fantasy
Now you must be in agony
But if you must cry
Over this guy
We're here for you
We'll get you through
Or perhaps you'll decide
Bony is just alright
Cushioned by all that hair
You'll be tempted into an affair
No quitting on yer quit eh!
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,875
Hi all, finally got a chance to put pen to paper.....
A Cowboy And His Demon
When I was just a young lad
I had my first taste of beer
I opened the door to my demon
I thought I had nothing to fear
For the first few years, he was my friend
Of that I had no doubt,
I told myself if he got too strong
I’d be able to kick him out
As the years went by, we got close
He was there through thick and thin
Always with his helping hand
Beer, whiskey, or lemon gin
I came to rely on him more and more
To get me through the day
He never ever judged me
Just wanted things all his way
Eventually my life just fell apart
And I didn’t understand why
How could I beat this demon
Or should I even try
But it was time to kick him out
A simple thing to do
Unless you know this demon
And the hell he can put you through
He’ll take your life, your mind, your soul
And all the people you hold dear
He doesn’t care how they feel
As long as he keeps you near
But the day will come when you realize
He is no friend at all
He sat there on your shoulder
And watched you take your fall
He didn’t try to help you
Like your loved ones tried to do
He knew you’d come crawling back
And help to get you through
And now that he’s evicted
With the help of family and friends
I have one more thing to do
Try to make amends
So now I have a new friend
He who sits on High
And when I need to talk to Him
I just look up to the sky!
(For my wife, my one true love)
ABcowboy
][/CENTER]
A Cowboy And His Demon
When I was just a young lad
I had my first taste of beer
I opened the door to my demon
I thought I had nothing to fear
For the first few years, he was my friend
Of that I had no doubt,
I told myself if he got too strong
I’d be able to kick him out
As the years went by, we got close
He was there through thick and thin
Always with his helping hand
Beer, whiskey, or lemon gin
I came to rely on him more and more
To get me through the day
He never ever judged me
Just wanted things all his way
Eventually my life just fell apart
And I didn’t understand why
How could I beat this demon
Or should I even try
But it was time to kick him out
A simple thing to do
Unless you know this demon
And the hell he can put you through
He’ll take your life, your mind, your soul
And all the people you hold dear
He doesn’t care how they feel
As long as he keeps you near
But the day will come when you realize
He is no friend at all
He sat there on your shoulder
And watched you take your fall
He didn’t try to help you
Like your loved ones tried to do
He knew you’d come crawling back
And help to get you through
And now that he’s evicted
With the help of family and friends
I have one more thing to do
Try to make amends
So now I have a new friend
He who sits on High
And when I need to talk to Him
I just look up to the sky!
(For my wife, my one true love)
ABcowboy
][/CENTER]
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