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Class Of November 2013 Part 4 |
Joy, hope your 5th step turns out in a way that makes you feel affirmed. Can you find a new local sponsor? Personally that would help me. |
Day 58. I have a sponsor and will be meeting with her weekly to work the steps. Tonight I feel hopeful. |
Hi friends, Have some free time to check in. Thank you Dee, Gilmer, and Apophylite for the supportive words. Took today off from work. Fixed the apartment up to make it more comfy for the four of us. Stepdaughter arrived with bright purple hair on Friday. Hubby made her dye it back to a "normal" color today. She's cooperating. Her mom is having second thoughts about sending her away but it's probably the only way to break her ties with all of her bad influences back home. We'll see what happens. She's supposed to start school on Tuesday. Have been having lots of thoughts about drinking but I know it's because of all the stress around here right now. Trying to stay busy and stay close to home. I can feel a cold or the flu or something coming on anyway so that'll keep me here. |
How's it going with your stepdaughter so far, Siesta? |
My first day alone with the girl today. My son starts back at his college classes all day and hubby is going on an overnighter for work so that leaves me and her. And no car because I'm loaning mine to my son. Really dreading trying to entertain/get along with her. She's very negative and says a lot of mean things in her attempt to be funny so I'm biting my lip a lot so far. I realize she's just a kid trying to feel better about herself but I have to wonder if she really feels the way she acts. Plus she's not very nice to my dog:( She points her finger at him and then makes a gun sign and pretend shoots him. I also saw her smack him with a book (softly) Wth! Anyway, hoping this is just her adjusting. Thinking I'll ask her if she wants to go on a walk to the beach with me and the dog. She can't go to school yet because her mom hasn't gotten us the records from the previous school. This could end up being mom's way of trying to get her back... This is bad to say but I wish I could get a work shift today. Although I'd be worried about the dog all day if I did. Going for a bike ride to de stress a bit before she gets up. I wish this kind of thing came easier to me. |
Hey siesta it sounds like a trying time for you! She is very lucky to have your support, and even if it doesn't come naturally it sounds like your doing a great job! And your doing it sober too...you rock!! |
That's rough, Siesta. Negative humor is a real sign of weakness. Maybe when she starts feeling at ease, you can suggest she not relate that way to you. She must be pretty bitter to mistreat your frickin' dog! Another case of picking on somebody to feel strong, or "one-up." Hopefully eventually in your home she'll see that she's loved in spite of her bad attitude, and she won't feel the need to project so much. Is there anything about her, any talent or feature or accomplishment, that you can truly appreciate to her? That will help you cope during these times when she's really getting on your nerves. |
Siesta are you doing any family counseling and/or is she in individual counseling? Both helped my family in a similar situation. ((Hugs)) to you. |
No counseling at the moment but we have all been through counseling with her and she has been in a couple psych wards recently. Family counseling is a good idea. Now her mom is having second thoughts about her being here and using my son being here as an excuse. It's ridiculous because they have been step brother/sister for 7 years and now her mom is saying it's inappropriate for them to live in the same home. There are flurries of emails going back and forth between hubby and his ex that I'm included on but try to stay out of. It's all a little crazy to me. Mom wants to get her into a boarding school which I think will just end up isolating her from her family and the real world, or mom wants to put her right back into her previous situation at home which all the doctors recommended against because it's such a chaotic home environment with mom. I really don't know what's best for her but I do know that our lifestyle now is very healthy and calm and simple. I'm so grateful to be sober and be able to say how healthy our home is. My poor son, who is a very peaceful Buddhist, is probably considering moving out now but I hope not. My other son who lives with dad is hurt that the kid that is messing up the most gets to come live with us, which I tried to explain that he is always welcome but has turned us down because he doesn't want to leave his friends. Reading back over this I think that things will need time to settle down. She's only been here a few days and she may be leaving if it's up to mom. If she stays I'll have to say something about her negativity. My son just outright tells her to stop but I'm walking that fine line of bonding with her vs parenting and discipline. I tried to get her to go for a walk with me yesterday but she said no. Instead she stayed in and purposely ate my leftover frozen yogurt after asking which one was hers. Weird. I asked her about it and she said "oops". I think she needs time to see that we're all in this for her to get healthy and I really want her to see what a regular family life is like. (Lol besides me being a recovering alcoholic) |
How is everybody else doing? |
I've had a very up and down week. I found myself stuck in the same old bipolar pattern that I always get in, attaching too much importance to other people. It covered a number of different situations, and I ended up getting paranoid and feeling like a useless moron. As you know, I begged for kind words over at Undies--and people were so kind! They really lavished a bunch of love on me. Plus, as I saw my home situations unfold, I realized that the situation wasn't as dire as I had first believed. Also, I've been trying to make a lifestyle change with diet and exercise. All was well for two weeks (which is typical for me)--but this week, I've started to struggle with my eating plan. The nadir was Tuesday's lunch--I started out grazing and just went berserk! I stuffed myself to the point of being ill (and I'm not bulimic). But then I differed from my usual pattern. In the past, that would have been it for the diet--I would have given in and been totally defeated. But this time I was determined not to let gluttony win, so I went down on the treadmill and increased my incline to 10%! Yesterday my eating and exercise were perfect--not "bartering" with myself is the key. And I ended up losing two more pounds. 10.5 down, 25 to go by May! And my online class is going well: yesterday I got 100% on my midterm, which counts for 11% of the final grade! I have had more self-discipline in studying by necessity, because my husband finally managed to get "my precioussss" SR totally blocked all the time from our house. I approve of that, because otherwise I scan all day and evening, and neglect all other stuff. So I come to McDonalds for an hour or two in the morning and catch up on all my reading and posting. Then I can go home and be a dutiful homemaker and student! You asked, and I wrote a book, Siesta! |
Well done on your 100% gilmer! That's fab!! Diet and exercise is tough at times isn't it, that's my next one to tackle:( I don't really miss the wine but I sure would miss a good slice of cake with my cup of tea! |
I am so proud of you all for wanting sobriety and joining a class. And I want to assure you that sobriety is more worth it then you can even imagine!! Living an alcohol free, real life is amazing, exhilarating, humbling, and a privilege. |
Gilmer, It sounds like you're doing great with the weight loss. 10.5 pounds is a lot! I haven't been as disciplined about it as you. When I slip up with food, I tend to keep slipping for awhile. Congrats on your midterm too! I'm glad you wrote a lot on here, I've been taking up too much of the thread! |
I have 90 days under my belt today! Life is better than I could have imagined without the wine:) Thanks to all you guys too, there is a real sense of family even though we are all strangers. Novies you rock! |
Congratulations Apophylite :) D |
Yes, congratulations, Apophylite! :) |
90 days is a huge achievement!! Congratulations Apophylite!!! |
Yay apophylite! |
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