Class Of November 2013 Part 4
Perpetual Optimist
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by peanutty 
I have 90 days today. I am humbled and grateful for the changes in my life. Thanks for taking the trip with me everyone.
Keep rockin'!
Perpetual Optimist
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by Rickh54
Good afternoon. I have a question for you. Just passed my 4 month mark.
Last night I had a dream. A drinking dream. Sitting at my usual stool at my saloon talking nonsense with the other regulars. Stopped in after work around 3. Usual dinner of hops and a couple of bowls of salty peanuts. Around midnight I realized I was too drunk to drive myself home. Wife came and got me. Put me to bed. Woke up with a terrible hangover and headache. Started crying because I had let everyone down. Now I have to let my SR friends know I am on Day one.
Now I am wide awake and realized it was only a dream (nightmare). I was shaking I was so upset.
Anyone else have good old days drinking dreams. Pissed me off and ruined my sleep and half the morning thinking about it
Last night I had a dream. A drinking dream. Sitting at my usual stool at my saloon talking nonsense with the other regulars. Stopped in after work around 3. Usual dinner of hops and a couple of bowls of salty peanuts. Around midnight I realized I was too drunk to drive myself home. Wife came and got me. Put me to bed. Woke up with a terrible hangover and headache. Started crying because I had let everyone down. Now I have to let my SR friends know I am on Day one.
Now I am wide awake and realized it was only a dream (nightmare). I was shaking I was so upset.
Anyone else have good old days drinking dreams. Pissed me off and ruined my sleep and half the morning thinking about it
I had one the other day that was really powerful. I dreamed I had finished off my dad's dewars while he was out of town, woke up with NO hangover and ZERO recollection of what I had done. The only evidence that I had been drinking was a mostly empty Dewars bottle that I had left out on the counter. I, too woke up really upset and disappointed.
From what I understand those dreams continue for up to a year or more, lessening as time goes on.
Those bewildering first moments upon waking are undoubtedly the WORST. But the good part- at least it was a dream!!!
Perpetual Optimist
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
Posts: 1,371
So the trainer guy kind of flaked after I told him that I hoped that the training would be purely professional. Go figure. 
There are two other trainers who definitely are not hitting on me who have offered to help me. But I have to be in at 6:30 AM twice a week!
I guess that's just what has to happen.
I can do it! If I can sub for my coworker at 4:30AM, I can get my butt up at 6 to come work out! I'm gonna do it Tuesday!
How is everyone's week going? Any weekend plans?
I'm working in the mornings and my goal is to clean my living room and my kitchen and start doing character development for my TV script. My kitchen is SUCH a mess!!
There are two other trainers who definitely are not hitting on me who have offered to help me. But I have to be in at 6:30 AM twice a week!
I guess that's just what has to happen.
I can do it! If I can sub for my coworker at 4:30AM, I can get my butt up at 6 to come work out! I'm gonna do it Tuesday!How is everyone's week going? Any weekend plans?
I'm working in the mornings and my goal is to clean my living room and my kitchen and start doing character development for my TV script. My kitchen is SUCH a mess!!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Hi, Br00ksie! Sounds like you've got a great weekend planned. Your screenplay crafting sounds fascinating.
I have to do some copying today (Xerox, not plagiarism!), then go buy a bunch of chili. I have to provide it for some visiting marching band judges: my son's school is hosting a huge competition today, and it goes from morning to evening. I have to provide three batches for 6 people.
Ordinarily I would have cooked my own, but I am recuperating from something and slept all day yesterday--plus, I just want to drop it off and not have to pick up the pots after the event is over at 11. My husband and I decided we'd just buy the chili.
Plus, all of my sons are home today, so the special chili (Hard Times Cafe) will be fun for dinner.
I have to do some copying today (Xerox, not plagiarism!), then go buy a bunch of chili. I have to provide it for some visiting marching band judges: my son's school is hosting a huge competition today, and it goes from morning to evening. I have to provide three batches for 6 people.
Ordinarily I would have cooked my own, but I am recuperating from something and slept all day yesterday--plus, I just want to drop it off and not have to pick up the pots after the event is over at 11. My husband and I decided we'd just buy the chili.
Plus, all of my sons are home today, so the special chili (Hard Times Cafe) will be fun for dinner.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: cardiff
Posts: 328
I have no doubt you will Gilmer, you are doing great.
Yesterday i had to work the late shift and a rugby game affected my journey home, i had to wait nearly an hour for my bus and then when it turned up it was full of people far to drunk for 8.30 in the evening. Things like this really make me value my sobriety, they were all so loud and annoying. I bet most of them feel like death this morning, while i am fresh and ready for the day, even if it is a day in work!
Yesterday i had to work the late shift and a rugby game affected my journey home, i had to wait nearly an hour for my bus and then when it turned up it was full of people far to drunk for 8.30 in the evening. Things like this really make me value my sobriety, they were all so loud and annoying. I bet most of them feel like death this morning, while i am fresh and ready for the day, even if it is a day in work!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Aliso Viejo, CA
Posts: 863
Congrats Gilmer!!
Apophylite, I know that scene well. I see people like that at work all the time who have been partying all day, then traveling home on our ferry. Drunk, loud, obnoxious, and annoying. So glad it's not us anymore!
Apophylite, I know that scene well. I see people like that at work all the time who have been partying all day, then traveling home on our ferry. Drunk, loud, obnoxious, and annoying. So glad it's not us anymore!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: cardiff
Posts: 328
Amen siesta! So glad those days are gone. Must be something in the air here at the moment. Finished work at 8pm again tonight and there was a man walking in front of me too the bus stop who was so drunk he could barely stand. Yuck, I'm glad I never have to feel like that again, although in fairness I don't think I have ever been as drunk as this guy!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 115
Rick-- yep, I've had a couple of drinking dreams. My last was a real nightmare thinking I'd started again and was letting everyone down. My husband said he almost woke me up because I seemed so upset. Seems like our brains are working through the fact that the boozing is really over.
Boy have the police been out in force this weekend. Must be because of the St Patricks Day holiday. Thank God we're sober, right? Hope everyone had a peaceful weekend.
Boy have the police been out in force this weekend. Must be because of the St Patricks Day holiday. Thank God we're sober, right? Hope everyone had a peaceful weekend.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Ugh! I feel like I'm going to have a frickin' stroke! I've got a dizzy headache in the back of my head, like a blood pressure thing. I had three generous servings of the greasiest, saltiest chili over the past two days, plus two slices of bacon-laden pizza. Then strong coffee to keep myself awake.
I had been doing well with my diet and fitness, but since I had the most minor of minor surgery on Friday, I have stopped exercising. That ushers in lounging and eating! And I was nervous, too--studying for a big test which teetered between two grades. Intensified gorging!
I feel sick and disgusted!
I'll go to bed early tonight and sleep it all of and start out exercising tomorrow. I'll simply pretend the last few days haven't existed!
I had been doing well with my diet and fitness, but since I had the most minor of minor surgery on Friday, I have stopped exercising. That ushers in lounging and eating! And I was nervous, too--studying for a big test which teetered between two grades. Intensified gorging!
I feel sick and disgusted!
I'll go to bed early tonight and sleep it all of and start out exercising tomorrow. I'll simply pretend the last few days haven't existed!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: cardiff
Posts: 328
Hope you feel better soon gilmer, i am determined to start eating better this week, i have some how lost eight pounds (must be the effect of no wine!) but have a new found chocolate habit that i never had when i was drinking.
I really need to feel a bit healthier, i think i would have more energy because lately i am tired all the time.
Plenty of water for you Gilmer after all that salt!
I really need to feel a bit healthier, i think i would have more energy because lately i am tired all the time.
Plenty of water for you Gilmer after all that salt!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Aliso Viejo, CA
Posts: 863
Gilmer,
IMO it would be great if everyone would check in more often. Me included. I know I get a lot of support from the undies group, but it helps to be in a group of people that have the same amount of sober time.
I was struggling a lot last night and actually circled my old bar twice on the way home from work, knowing that some old friends were in there. I kept thinking I could go in and not drink, but I knew in my heart that it would be a bad choice, so I went home. I'm not sure what made me want to go. I've been doing great, and even eating healthy the past week. Could be that I had a little fight with hubby and he is out of town now without a word. The fight was about him not communicating that he would be on an overnighter and that I should have guessed that he would be, due to his scheduled stops up the coast. I didn't say this, but I have my own 50 hour work schedule to keep track of, plus the bills, and household chores, and I'm not a mind reader. Lol it feels good to say it to you guys anyway. Childish stuff, I know. I kept telling myself all day that it didn't matter if he doesn't communicate while on his trip, but apparently it was getting to me. I even thought about drinking a beer and purposely relapsing, but the thought of SR and starting over helped turn my steering wheel the right direction.
....I just re read the last sentence above. "A beer" is absolutely not accurate as far as what would have happened if I had given in.
How is everyone doing?
IMO it would be great if everyone would check in more often. Me included. I know I get a lot of support from the undies group, but it helps to be in a group of people that have the same amount of sober time.
I was struggling a lot last night and actually circled my old bar twice on the way home from work, knowing that some old friends were in there. I kept thinking I could go in and not drink, but I knew in my heart that it would be a bad choice, so I went home. I'm not sure what made me want to go. I've been doing great, and even eating healthy the past week. Could be that I had a little fight with hubby and he is out of town now without a word. The fight was about him not communicating that he would be on an overnighter and that I should have guessed that he would be, due to his scheduled stops up the coast. I didn't say this, but I have my own 50 hour work schedule to keep track of, plus the bills, and household chores, and I'm not a mind reader. Lol it feels good to say it to you guys anyway. Childish stuff, I know. I kept telling myself all day that it didn't matter if he doesn't communicate while on his trip, but apparently it was getting to me. I even thought about drinking a beer and purposely relapsing, but the thought of SR and starting over helped turn my steering wheel the right direction.
....I just re read the last sentence above. "A beer" is absolutely not accurate as far as what would have happened if I had given in.
How is everyone doing?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 115
Hi all. 111 days for me. In about the last 30 days the feeling of joy has returned to my life. It's not all the time of course but it's a possibility. It's nice to remember that when I was numbing out the bad feelings I was numbing out the good ones too.
What's helping everyone stay sober? For me it's AA (one mtg a week) with a sponsor (one mtg a week reading our way through the BB and working the steps as we come to them), simple prayers, online support, IRL support, a spouse who quit too, no booze in the house, no going to events that revolve around booze (will eat out with friends who might have a drink, won't go to happy hour), rediscovering old hobbies (reading, knitting, movies) and I'm sure some other things I'm forgetting.
What's helping everyone stay sober? For me it's AA (one mtg a week) with a sponsor (one mtg a week reading our way through the BB and working the steps as we come to them), simple prayers, online support, IRL support, a spouse who quit too, no booze in the house, no going to events that revolve around booze (will eat out with friends who might have a drink, won't go to happy hour), rediscovering old hobbies (reading, knitting, movies) and I'm sure some other things I'm forgetting.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Aliso Viejo, CA
Posts: 863
Sounds like you're doing great Peanutty. I've only been to one AA meeting about a year ago. Not really for me. SR helps me the most. Exercise is second. I would say my husband but right now he's on my bad side!
Stingy athlete recovery method
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: U. S. A.
Posts: 754
I hope everyone is doing well. I just returned from travel and am glad to be able to check the list frequently as I did before leaving. I met a lot of people who were wonderful but I came away from the increased social contact by feeling past-my-expiration-date and displaced. I hope that is depression talking and not an accurate forecast of my life to come. I will write more after I am less stressed from the length of my to-do list. Thank you for keeping our group going with your messages.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I actually had an attack of the AV yesterday and the day before. Just felt displaced and like I wanted an altered state. But I am far too lazy these days to go out and buy something to drink. It's just not worth the effort.
What keeps me sober? Peer pressure, for one, because in my heart I really don't think I'm "all that bad." Intellectually, I know it is. It hurts everybody around me and causes lots of hassle as a result. (see how hard I am?). I depend on SR to keep me thinking right about drunkenness and sobriety. I derive a lot of inspiration from the struggles and victories of others, and I would feel really down to fall again and let my "gang" down. SR is my key help.
I really wish I felt that conviction in my heart that I am absolutely doomed with alcohol. But I know very well that the addiction is progressive, and that I stopped midway through the progression, before things got horribly bad. I need to make no mistake: if I had continued, they would have gotten horribly bad.
I'm just so much better off not drinking in every way. Best of all, I feel like I don't always have to knee-jerk at every hint of stress into being a petulant 14-year-old. I am carrying myself like a grownup!
What keeps me sober? Peer pressure, for one, because in my heart I really don't think I'm "all that bad." Intellectually, I know it is. It hurts everybody around me and causes lots of hassle as a result. (see how hard I am?). I depend on SR to keep me thinking right about drunkenness and sobriety. I derive a lot of inspiration from the struggles and victories of others, and I would feel really down to fall again and let my "gang" down. SR is my key help.
I really wish I felt that conviction in my heart that I am absolutely doomed with alcohol. But I know very well that the addiction is progressive, and that I stopped midway through the progression, before things got horribly bad. I need to make no mistake: if I had continued, they would have gotten horribly bad.
I'm just so much better off not drinking in every way. Best of all, I feel like I don't always have to knee-jerk at every hint of stress into being a petulant 14-year-old. I am carrying myself like a grownup!
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