A New Day (Munchkin's Thread) Part 4
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
Guess what? I'm still here, still sober. Pretty cool huh?
I think this year it'll be either 6 or 7 years. I kind of forget after all this time. LOL Some bigger things happening in my life. I'm still going to college. Still president of a homeowners association. Still working for a contractor for the DOD for air travel however THAT might or might not be changing. Had a job interview for the local university. I have a feeling it went well but still no answer. That was almost 2 weeks ago. Sigh.
Mom is still being mom which is in a somewhat alcohol fazed stupor. Dad sounds like he doesn't still quite know what to do there. And on top of that she has diabetes now. For Christmas I'm sending her lots of diabetic friendly things. I know this won't exactly solve the problem but I'm trying to be as encouraging as I can. Everyones path is different.
Hubby is doing okay at work. I constantly get the feeling that he actually sabotages himself because he believes he can't do it, can't succeed. Silly.
Son is doing so so at school now. Sometimes I get the feeling people bully him, mostly girls. He complains about them the most. He says they're vicious. I don't blame him. I always found girls were way more vicious at school then boys were. Boys were always more honest.
So my son and I are now in an agreement. I get home and we'll work out together. He can run on the treadmill, I'll do elliptical. I told him I'll maybe get kettlebells for Christmas. We can all work out using those.
He says he wants to get stronger so he'll look stronger and less of a wimp.
Hopefully hubby will join the fray.
As it stands I severely have to figure out what the heck I'm going to cook for dinner tonight. Something that is fast, easy and more or less makes itself would be good.
We now have chickens! Our oldest and nicest pullet Tess has been laying eggs since about 2 weeks ago. Beautiful blue green eggs. Our next oldest girl Daisy hopefully will be laying soon.
We just did a harvest of 12 rabbits. Most will go towards sausage. I have to pick up some pork fat from our commissary so we can make said sausage. And send myself the spreadsheet for doing it. I'd like to get better at sausage.
This winter we'll be working on getting better at making bagels, foccacia (sp?) and ciabatta. Hopefully I can get moving again on the fur blanket my son wants made. I told hubby I might make pillows like that too. They'll probably sell really well around here. Our buns fur are almost always beautiful.
I guess I'm okay around here. Yes still sober. Don't really have my monster speaking to me much now a days. He's pretty hoarse and if he does say anything at all its a whisper. Can't hear it much. Unfortunately I have exchanged drinking though for eating. Yes, hello my name is Munchkin and I am a chocoholic. And a lactose a holic.
So that is why my son and I are going to start working out together.
Hopefully he'll strengthen up and I'll lose weight. Win on all sides.
Life is tough sometimes, but still truckin on. We've been massively busy since winter is approaching. No snow in the forecast yet but soon it will be. The spiders are all trying their best to come in the house. YUCK
I've asked my son to kill the one in my closet please. I don't like it looking at me when I'm naked. I told him it has plans to murder me, I just know it. LOL
I wish I could bring my eldest chickie in and have her hunt it for me. She'd love to eat it as a treat. She's a cutie.
So we still have our burmese mix cat Horchata. Cutie pie most of the time when she doesn't get access to our work out room and pee in there. Then she's on the naughty list.
So yes full life, busy life yet thankfully I feel like I'm hitting a point of relative calm. I have some sort of strange feeling the calm will suddenly be interrupted soon. Hopefully with good things and not bad. I'm tired of the stressful bad things happening.
Still here still sober.
I think this year it'll be either 6 or 7 years. I kind of forget after all this time. LOL Some bigger things happening in my life. I'm still going to college. Still president of a homeowners association. Still working for a contractor for the DOD for air travel however THAT might or might not be changing. Had a job interview for the local university. I have a feeling it went well but still no answer. That was almost 2 weeks ago. Sigh.
Mom is still being mom which is in a somewhat alcohol fazed stupor. Dad sounds like he doesn't still quite know what to do there. And on top of that she has diabetes now. For Christmas I'm sending her lots of diabetic friendly things. I know this won't exactly solve the problem but I'm trying to be as encouraging as I can. Everyones path is different.
Hubby is doing okay at work. I constantly get the feeling that he actually sabotages himself because he believes he can't do it, can't succeed. Silly.
Son is doing so so at school now. Sometimes I get the feeling people bully him, mostly girls. He complains about them the most. He says they're vicious. I don't blame him. I always found girls were way more vicious at school then boys were. Boys were always more honest.
So my son and I are now in an agreement. I get home and we'll work out together. He can run on the treadmill, I'll do elliptical. I told him I'll maybe get kettlebells for Christmas. We can all work out using those.
He says he wants to get stronger so he'll look stronger and less of a wimp.
Hopefully hubby will join the fray.
As it stands I severely have to figure out what the heck I'm going to cook for dinner tonight. Something that is fast, easy and more or less makes itself would be good.
We now have chickens! Our oldest and nicest pullet Tess has been laying eggs since about 2 weeks ago. Beautiful blue green eggs. Our next oldest girl Daisy hopefully will be laying soon.
We just did a harvest of 12 rabbits. Most will go towards sausage. I have to pick up some pork fat from our commissary so we can make said sausage. And send myself the spreadsheet for doing it. I'd like to get better at sausage.
This winter we'll be working on getting better at making bagels, foccacia (sp?) and ciabatta. Hopefully I can get moving again on the fur blanket my son wants made. I told hubby I might make pillows like that too. They'll probably sell really well around here. Our buns fur are almost always beautiful.
I guess I'm okay around here. Yes still sober. Don't really have my monster speaking to me much now a days. He's pretty hoarse and if he does say anything at all its a whisper. Can't hear it much. Unfortunately I have exchanged drinking though for eating. Yes, hello my name is Munchkin and I am a chocoholic. And a lactose a holic.
So that is why my son and I are going to start working out together.
Hopefully he'll strengthen up and I'll lose weight. Win on all sides.
Life is tough sometimes, but still truckin on. We've been massively busy since winter is approaching. No snow in the forecast yet but soon it will be. The spiders are all trying their best to come in the house. YUCK
I've asked my son to kill the one in my closet please. I don't like it looking at me when I'm naked. I told him it has plans to murder me, I just know it. LOL
I wish I could bring my eldest chickie in and have her hunt it for me. She'd love to eat it as a treat. She's a cutie.
So we still have our burmese mix cat Horchata. Cutie pie most of the time when she doesn't get access to our work out room and pee in there. Then she's on the naughty list.
So yes full life, busy life yet thankfully I feel like I'm hitting a point of relative calm. I have some sort of strange feeling the calm will suddenly be interrupted soon. Hopefully with good things and not bad. I'm tired of the stressful bad things happening.
Still here still sober.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
So I'm coming back early. Was going to come here tomorrow but I don't know what tomorrow will be like here at work.
So happy 7 year sober day to me.
So many earthquakes, and yet good ones.
So I did end up quitting my job of almost 15 years (actually been with the company for 20 years just about but had time off in between moving and having munchkin)
I'm no longer a govt contractor for the DOD. Now I work for the state. The state university here in Fairbanks. I'm the lead of the travel program. Every day is challenging, sometimes tough, but I'm getting it, piece by piece. I can't imagine how it would be if I wasn't sober. But then I probably wouldn't even be in this job, in the house I live in, in Alaska, or maybe even alive. All of these things are so amazingly good. It's like watching a video backwards. You can see what happened from one decision. All the positive things that have happened over time that led to where I am now.
I now have a largish kind of desk. Larger than I had. I get bathroom breaks, as many as I would like. I get to drink as much water as I want. I don't have a coworker with ADD/ADHD who loses all our paperwork and then blames it all on that, which then allows her to escape the blame herself. I don't have to help said coworker find her keys, her purse, her paper she just shredded. None of that.
I work in an office full of people who all have their earbuds in while we listen to our favorite show, our favorite podcast, our favorite news channel all while we work.
The pace is super fast, after all we're starting a new system here, but I'm getting it. It feels like I'm getting it too slowly at times but I have to remember to stop being so hard on myself.
Sooner or later, as my hubby says, I'll have an "AH HA!" moment.
In less than 2 weeks from now I have a week and a half off, nice. Might give me some time to fully comprehend all that I've learned over the past two months. Hard to believe but I left the other company two months ago.
My parents, hubby all say I sound different. Happy.
I know I leave work, and while my brain is tired, I'm not frazzled.
It's almost 5'oclock, almost quitting time. While I'm ready to go home, ready to go deal with the massive amount of traffic I'll face when I leave out the door here as the area of town I'm in has much more than I'm used to , I'm no where in the mood for any sort of drink other than water or coffee.
I can't recall what we're going to have for dinner, but it's all good. Hubby gets home now before me. He'll figure it out.
Son now is 13. He doesn't remember the days really when I used to drink, thankfully. He knows his grandma still does though and it saddens me.
His voice is changed, I tease him because his legs are all hairy, he has a small peachfuzz mustache and sideburns that grow in all funky because he's half man/half boy. And I love him all the more as he grows older. He's my munchkin, the reason for my sobriety (hence my name here) . He told us last night that he has two girls at school that are hitting on him in two different ways. One is just friendly to him, she pulls his chair out for him in math class. The other one is more forward and she sent him a letter saying she wants to go out with him. He's said this morning he's going to tell both of them, he just wants to stay friends, nothing more because he wants to be more serious about school.
I don't know if he says that because he's talking to me, or does he say that because he really means it?
Hard to say.
Well just about time to leave for the day.
Still here, still sober. All is good.
Happy 7th year to me.
So happy 7 year sober day to me.
So many earthquakes, and yet good ones.
So I did end up quitting my job of almost 15 years (actually been with the company for 20 years just about but had time off in between moving and having munchkin)
I'm no longer a govt contractor for the DOD. Now I work for the state. The state university here in Fairbanks. I'm the lead of the travel program. Every day is challenging, sometimes tough, but I'm getting it, piece by piece. I can't imagine how it would be if I wasn't sober. But then I probably wouldn't even be in this job, in the house I live in, in Alaska, or maybe even alive. All of these things are so amazingly good. It's like watching a video backwards. You can see what happened from one decision. All the positive things that have happened over time that led to where I am now.
I now have a largish kind of desk. Larger than I had. I get bathroom breaks, as many as I would like. I get to drink as much water as I want. I don't have a coworker with ADD/ADHD who loses all our paperwork and then blames it all on that, which then allows her to escape the blame herself. I don't have to help said coworker find her keys, her purse, her paper she just shredded. None of that.
I work in an office full of people who all have their earbuds in while we listen to our favorite show, our favorite podcast, our favorite news channel all while we work.
The pace is super fast, after all we're starting a new system here, but I'm getting it. It feels like I'm getting it too slowly at times but I have to remember to stop being so hard on myself.
Sooner or later, as my hubby says, I'll have an "AH HA!" moment.
In less than 2 weeks from now I have a week and a half off, nice. Might give me some time to fully comprehend all that I've learned over the past two months. Hard to believe but I left the other company two months ago.
My parents, hubby all say I sound different. Happy.
I know I leave work, and while my brain is tired, I'm not frazzled.
It's almost 5'oclock, almost quitting time. While I'm ready to go home, ready to go deal with the massive amount of traffic I'll face when I leave out the door here as the area of town I'm in has much more than I'm used to , I'm no where in the mood for any sort of drink other than water or coffee.
I can't recall what we're going to have for dinner, but it's all good. Hubby gets home now before me. He'll figure it out.
Son now is 13. He doesn't remember the days really when I used to drink, thankfully. He knows his grandma still does though and it saddens me.
His voice is changed, I tease him because his legs are all hairy, he has a small peachfuzz mustache and sideburns that grow in all funky because he's half man/half boy. And I love him all the more as he grows older. He's my munchkin, the reason for my sobriety (hence my name here) . He told us last night that he has two girls at school that are hitting on him in two different ways. One is just friendly to him, she pulls his chair out for him in math class. The other one is more forward and she sent him a letter saying she wants to go out with him. He's said this morning he's going to tell both of them, he just wants to stay friends, nothing more because he wants to be more serious about school.
I don't know if he says that because he's talking to me, or does he say that because he really means it?
Hard to say.
Well just about time to leave for the day.
Still here, still sober. All is good.
Happy 7th year to me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
Gotta be quick. Day is almost over here, have the 30 minute drive home. Probably talking to my DRUNK mom. GRRR.
I have been posting over in the friends and family alcohol boards and figured I'd come over here.
Things are good. Body is still sore. We just got done with a half bathroom renovation that is almost complete, have a couple small things left. Not much.
Almost done with my first certificate in college. Certificate of Herbal Retail Medicine. Next certificate I'll be shooting for is Certificate of Holistic Nutrition.
I've been on the honor roll for college for the past year.
Dang. 5p.
Just wanted to yell to the world
STILL HERE STILL SOBER!!!! 8 + years!
I have been posting over in the friends and family alcohol boards and figured I'd come over here.
Things are good. Body is still sore. We just got done with a half bathroom renovation that is almost complete, have a couple small things left. Not much.
Almost done with my first certificate in college. Certificate of Herbal Retail Medicine. Next certificate I'll be shooting for is Certificate of Holistic Nutrition.
I've been on the honor roll for college for the past year.
Dang. 5p.
Just wanted to yell to the world
STILL HERE STILL SOBER!!!! 8 + years!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
Okay some good news on my Mom story (kind of posted some of it in the friends and family board) Mom & Dad got calls from their doctors yesterday for a check up. I'm a little concerned that their appts are not till later March but hey, maybe just maybe SOMETHING will happen. Have no clue what, but Mom has been avoiding the doctor like the plague.
Whatever.
So here is a rant. Why oh why do I always end up in places with tons of controversy. Or why in the world do I always end up in places where people who are broken flock to me and seem to say "please fix me, please help me"
Case in point, landed a good job, but now due to politics this place is pretty.....uhh...hostile? I have to keep my head down like crazy. I'm not good at hiding the emotions on my face, so instead I keep my head ducked down, don't get into any conversations. Ugh.
My last job I had a coworker say she wanted anyone from a certain side of politics (of which she knew I somewhat supported) to be murdered along with their families. Uhhmm okay. When in the world did that become okay to say? To a cowoker? That you want them dead?
Whatever.
Thankfully I haven't heard threats like that here but I definitely have watched the mob mentality start a couple of times. Creepy.
Well still here still sober.
Whatever.
So here is a rant. Why oh why do I always end up in places with tons of controversy. Or why in the world do I always end up in places where people who are broken flock to me and seem to say "please fix me, please help me"
Case in point, landed a good job, but now due to politics this place is pretty.....uhh...hostile? I have to keep my head down like crazy. I'm not good at hiding the emotions on my face, so instead I keep my head ducked down, don't get into any conversations. Ugh.
My last job I had a coworker say she wanted anyone from a certain side of politics (of which she knew I somewhat supported) to be murdered along with their families. Uhhmm okay. When in the world did that become okay to say? To a cowoker? That you want them dead?
Whatever.
Thankfully I haven't heard threats like that here but I definitely have watched the mob mentality start a couple of times. Creepy.
Well still here still sober.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
YAY Pond!!!
Yes I definitely learned that in my last job. Never before (except for maybe online) had I ever seen such nastiness, such vitriol, such hatred and anger. And then I met my coworker who would stomp around the room wishing ill on anyone within a certain persuasion. Made me crazy nervous. I was afraid she was going to come at me with a knife. She loved watching tv shows about mass murderers, she said she looked up to them, I was afraid she would go nutso on my rear end. (because she overheard a conversation earlier which clued her in about my feelings on hot topics, made her turn from Dr Jekyll into Mr. Hyde.)
Yes I definitely learned that in my last job. Never before (except for maybe online) had I ever seen such nastiness, such vitriol, such hatred and anger. And then I met my coworker who would stomp around the room wishing ill on anyone within a certain persuasion. Made me crazy nervous. I was afraid she was going to come at me with a knife. She loved watching tv shows about mass murderers, she said she looked up to them, I was afraid she would go nutso on my rear end. (because she overheard a conversation earlier which clued her in about my feelings on hot topics, made her turn from Dr Jekyll into Mr. Hyde.)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
Couple of big changes since last time I was here. Okay so first, no longer with the state or the university. THANK GOD! That was a challenging environment. My boss was the most nasty narcissistic person I've ever met and I don't think I've met many to compete with her. In March she started with attacks non stop, I put in a complaint against her to her boss, and to HR inadvertently. She slowed down some but then it turned up again in June. By July I was over done with it and had been watching the job boards for some months. July 29, my bday I got hired by a new corporate travel agency working from home. So far I've been working for about 5 weeks for them and so far...life is good! Nothing bad to report other than I'm frustrated I don't know this airline system. But that is something I know will rectify itself over time.
My boss seems super nice, so do all my coworkers. So I'm hoping I have finally reached safe harbor again.
Which is good because the situation with my Mom might potentially erupt here shortly. Dad emailed me this morning to tell me Mom fell out of bed, she's too heavy for him to lift, he has to help her to the bathroom each and every time and mainly he has expressed extreme doubt that he can do this anymore, physically. He said he wanted to call 911 because he knows he cannot get her in the car, and yet he says also that she does not want to because he thinks she knows that she will have to enter detox, and per him, he doesn't think she'll make it. I don't know really. I know she is a late stage alcoholic with full blown uncontrolled diabetes. Each time the doctor tells her this she says it brand new to her, that they never told her that before. Whatever.
So I don't know if she will be able to handle the detox or not. Anyone know can someone survive detox at a late stage? With medical intervention? I know her body is crapping out on here at all points. She can't walk because her joints bother her too much, she can't eat hardly anything, she says its just because she doesn't eat much anymore, but I think that is because she gets all her calories from the liquid in her diet.
So what does everyone think? Will she survive a hospital stay? Will she survive a detox?
So still here still sober.
My boss seems super nice, so do all my coworkers. So I'm hoping I have finally reached safe harbor again.
Which is good because the situation with my Mom might potentially erupt here shortly. Dad emailed me this morning to tell me Mom fell out of bed, she's too heavy for him to lift, he has to help her to the bathroom each and every time and mainly he has expressed extreme doubt that he can do this anymore, physically. He said he wanted to call 911 because he knows he cannot get her in the car, and yet he says also that she does not want to because he thinks she knows that she will have to enter detox, and per him, he doesn't think she'll make it. I don't know really. I know she is a late stage alcoholic with full blown uncontrolled diabetes. Each time the doctor tells her this she says it brand new to her, that they never told her that before. Whatever.
So I don't know if she will be able to handle the detox or not. Anyone know can someone survive detox at a late stage? With medical intervention? I know her body is crapping out on here at all points. She can't walk because her joints bother her too much, she can't eat hardly anything, she says its just because she doesn't eat much anymore, but I think that is because she gets all her calories from the liquid in her diet.
So what does everyone think? Will she survive a hospital stay? Will she survive a detox?
So still here still sober.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
Still plugging away. Life is good! So as for me first. Still with the corporate travel agency. I really truly do feel as if this place is a safe harbor finally. Once again I have found somewhere, where I can be me and I don't have to worry about crazy peeps doing crazy things.
Seriously, I had moments at the university where I was afraid for my car, my personal safety, or just my job. I had to scratch off bumper stickers off my car which I truly feel is wrong but whatever.
At one point in March my Mom told me I should let my old job just abuse me because they're paying me so well. Umm nope.
Heck as it stands, I make 4K less now than that other job but I'm staying home which means I spend about $4500 less because I'm not spending on fancy clothes and shoes nor on gas, nor on eating out which became the norm there, nor on coffee which became a habit as I raced from one meeting to another.
So good stuff where I am at. Which is awesome.
Now onto my poor son. Yesterday he got out of school suspension because he supposedly said things to a girl that claimed him and her have been friends "for like forever". Lo and behold, nope he hasn't, he barely knows her. Then on top of that, he told the Vice principal he doesn't feel safe in this environment and feels he should have a weapon to protect himself from this environment. The vice principal instead wrote down that "he feels that the environment is not safe and he wants to bring a firearm to school to hurt people" BIG difference there I think. I had a pow wow with a teacher last night after school that really loves my son and we discussed it at some length. Even she said none of this sounds like things my son would say, except for "I feel unsafe in this environment and wish I could carry a weapon to protect myself".
The bits about the girl sounded like a goofy rico suave, which my son is decidedly NOT. He's very nervous around girls, and even his teacher shared a moment that she shared with him in the hallway just yesterday morning. A girl was complimenting my son and my son didn't realize she was complimenting him (supposedly her body language also said she liked him per his teacher). When the teacher walked up to my son to talk about it, he was nervous and said he didn't realize she liked him, that he was kind of afraid of her and that she may be trying to corner him or something.
So here is what he has learned since 4th grade (he's now in 8th). All girls do is play vicious wicked games and they like to bully people a lot and they are not to be trusted. So very sad. I keep telling him "he loves me right? I'm not a bully, I'm honest, I'm kind" which of course he says "but Mom, you're Mom and you're special but all the other girls aren't" I don't know how to teach him that girls are nice, its just he's had some BAD encounters with some BAD apples. sigh.
So next, my own Mom. So recently (about a week ago), Mom got sick and threw up in front of dad in the kitchen sink. I guess Dad had it, yelled and now Mom has camped out behind her locked bedroom door. I don't know if Dad is supplying alcohol still, I hope not but I'm not holding my breath. Its so frustrating because that situation COULD end, if Dad just withheld the alcohol. He doesn't though because he's afraid of making her angry, and then per his last email he also admits that family and friends are going to blame her death on him. Obviously he won't listen to me on this one when I say no Dad.
So mom is committed to staying the course for killing herself slowly with alcohol. Meanwhile she kills Dad over on the side as he does everything that he thinks might help. I am so frigging done with it. Let me repeat that. I. AM. SO. FRIGGING. DONE. with both of them.
It sounds horrible, but I'm done. I am so sick of fighting this one. Its not my fight, I can't do anything from afar, none of my Mom's sisters want to intervene, my brother DEFINITELY does not want to get involved. So that's that. GRRRR
So this all being said, I am SO GLAD I AM SOBER TODAY.
I am so incredibly blessed in my life. Never in my past twenty years did I think I would be where I am right now.
I have a wonderful home, I have my chickens, my rabbits, my garden. I have my husband and son, I just signed up for a degree program in Complimentary Alternative Medicine. I am just about to earn my Certificate in Holistic Nutrition Coaching. I earned this past summer my Certificate in Herbal Studies. I keep wondering when the other shoe will drop. When will life suddenly become amazingly hard, such as it was when I was at the university? When will every moment become hard to breath again? Karma has to balance back out I keep thinking, because while I have moments here and there that are stressful, the good times are certainly more than the bad. Is it that I was just so used to only bad times when I was drinking that now I'm programmed to think bad bad bad? I don't know. All I know is while we have some challenges, I just feel so incredibly content, so blessed with what I have been given and I think if I hadn't gone sober I would be experiencing NONE of this. I feel like George Bailey at the end of "Its a wonderful life" when he's running through town after exclaiming "I want to live again" and now everything is new, everything is something he loves.
So with that being said, I gotta get me a cup of coffee, and then get to work, I have some air reservations to make.
Still here, still sober. (ALMOST 8 YEARS)
Seriously, I had moments at the university where I was afraid for my car, my personal safety, or just my job. I had to scratch off bumper stickers off my car which I truly feel is wrong but whatever.
At one point in March my Mom told me I should let my old job just abuse me because they're paying me so well. Umm nope.
Heck as it stands, I make 4K less now than that other job but I'm staying home which means I spend about $4500 less because I'm not spending on fancy clothes and shoes nor on gas, nor on eating out which became the norm there, nor on coffee which became a habit as I raced from one meeting to another.
So good stuff where I am at. Which is awesome.
Now onto my poor son. Yesterday he got out of school suspension because he supposedly said things to a girl that claimed him and her have been friends "for like forever". Lo and behold, nope he hasn't, he barely knows her. Then on top of that, he told the Vice principal he doesn't feel safe in this environment and feels he should have a weapon to protect himself from this environment. The vice principal instead wrote down that "he feels that the environment is not safe and he wants to bring a firearm to school to hurt people" BIG difference there I think. I had a pow wow with a teacher last night after school that really loves my son and we discussed it at some length. Even she said none of this sounds like things my son would say, except for "I feel unsafe in this environment and wish I could carry a weapon to protect myself".
The bits about the girl sounded like a goofy rico suave, which my son is decidedly NOT. He's very nervous around girls, and even his teacher shared a moment that she shared with him in the hallway just yesterday morning. A girl was complimenting my son and my son didn't realize she was complimenting him (supposedly her body language also said she liked him per his teacher). When the teacher walked up to my son to talk about it, he was nervous and said he didn't realize she liked him, that he was kind of afraid of her and that she may be trying to corner him or something.
So here is what he has learned since 4th grade (he's now in 8th). All girls do is play vicious wicked games and they like to bully people a lot and they are not to be trusted. So very sad. I keep telling him "he loves me right? I'm not a bully, I'm honest, I'm kind" which of course he says "but Mom, you're Mom and you're special but all the other girls aren't" I don't know how to teach him that girls are nice, its just he's had some BAD encounters with some BAD apples. sigh.
So next, my own Mom. So recently (about a week ago), Mom got sick and threw up in front of dad in the kitchen sink. I guess Dad had it, yelled and now Mom has camped out behind her locked bedroom door. I don't know if Dad is supplying alcohol still, I hope not but I'm not holding my breath. Its so frustrating because that situation COULD end, if Dad just withheld the alcohol. He doesn't though because he's afraid of making her angry, and then per his last email he also admits that family and friends are going to blame her death on him.
Obviously he won't listen to me on this one when I say no Dad. So mom is committed to staying the course for killing herself slowly with alcohol. Meanwhile she kills Dad over on the side as he does everything that he thinks might help. I am so frigging done with it. Let me repeat that. I. AM. SO. FRIGGING. DONE. with both of them.
It sounds horrible, but I'm done. I am so sick of fighting this one. Its not my fight, I can't do anything from afar, none of my Mom's sisters want to intervene, my brother DEFINITELY does not want to get involved. So that's that. GRRRR
So this all being said, I am SO GLAD I AM SOBER TODAY.
I am so incredibly blessed in my life. Never in my past twenty years did I think I would be where I am right now.
I have a wonderful home, I have my chickens, my rabbits, my garden. I have my husband and son, I just signed up for a degree program in Complimentary Alternative Medicine. I am just about to earn my Certificate in Holistic Nutrition Coaching. I earned this past summer my Certificate in Herbal Studies. I keep wondering when the other shoe will drop. When will life suddenly become amazingly hard, such as it was when I was at the university? When will every moment become hard to breath again? Karma has to balance back out I keep thinking, because while I have moments here and there that are stressful, the good times are certainly more than the bad. Is it that I was just so used to only bad times when I was drinking that now I'm programmed to think bad bad bad? I don't know. All I know is while we have some challenges, I just feel so incredibly content, so blessed with what I have been given and I think if I hadn't gone sober I would be experiencing NONE of this. I feel like George Bailey at the end of "Its a wonderful life" when he's running through town after exclaiming "I want to live again" and now everything is new, everything is something he loves.
So with that being said, I gotta get me a cup of coffee, and then get to work, I have some air reservations to make.
Still here, still sober. (ALMOST 8 YEARS)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
Hi all! Still here! Still sober! Going on 9 years in two days! I cannot believe it and I'm so grateful for today because you know what? I'm sober today. The world is crazy but I'm sober and I'm the rock that my family needs. If I had not had a wonderful friend (ARTEMIS) who had asked me 9 years ago almost today I would not be able to be what my family needs today. How crazy is that!????
My Mom is descending ever downwards. She stayed sober for like, 2 weeks a couple of months ago. And then quit and slid right back. I have now, more or less, given up on her and Dad. There isn't anything I can do for them. Now Mom is just a nonstop lesson to me of how NOT to be. Thank God for that!
It hurts that my Mom will pass away painfully but she has chosen her path. Dad too. As have I. And thankfully, almost 9 years ago I chose sober.
Just wanted to say I'm here! Living in Interior Alaska. I'm unemployed, (thank you covid) but otherwise have been incredibly blessed the past year. VERY WEIRD If you believe in a higher power then you'll know what I'm talking about. My son is over halfway done with his freshman year in high school now. We're homeschooling him now and hubby is tutoring him in math, I teach science, English, German, and history.
We still have our chickens, our rabbits, we raised turkeys this summer (and ate half of one this Thanksgiving. YES HE WAS THAT BIG! 40 frickin pounds!), meat birds, still raised our honeybees. I've started my new website talking about the things we're up to. I cannot describe how crazy it is that the world has gone insane, things are seemingly insane everywhere and yet our family is peaceful, close, and doing well. I feel like we shouldn't be and yet we are. So incredibly blessed.
So that being said, I figured I'd stop by and again yell STILL HERE STILL SOBER from the great state of Alaska. Ciao all!
munchkin
My Mom is descending ever downwards. She stayed sober for like, 2 weeks a couple of months ago. And then quit and slid right back. I have now, more or less, given up on her and Dad. There isn't anything I can do for them. Now Mom is just a nonstop lesson to me of how NOT to be. Thank God for that!
It hurts that my Mom will pass away painfully but she has chosen her path. Dad too. As have I. And thankfully, almost 9 years ago I chose sober.
Just wanted to say I'm here! Living in Interior Alaska. I'm unemployed, (thank you covid) but otherwise have been incredibly blessed the past year. VERY WEIRD If you believe in a higher power then you'll know what I'm talking about. My son is over halfway done with his freshman year in high school now. We're homeschooling him now and hubby is tutoring him in math, I teach science, English, German, and history.
We still have our chickens, our rabbits, we raised turkeys this summer (and ate half of one this Thanksgiving. YES HE WAS THAT BIG! 40 frickin pounds!), meat birds, still raised our honeybees. I've started my new website talking about the things we're up to. I cannot describe how crazy it is that the world has gone insane, things are seemingly insane everywhere and yet our family is peaceful, close, and doing well. I feel like we shouldn't be and yet we are. So incredibly blessed.
So that being said, I figured I'd stop by and again yell STILL HERE STILL SOBER from the great state of Alaska. Ciao all!
munchkin
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