Dee74

Congrats Munchkin - thats a serious achievement

D

munchkin05

Okay just a rant for the day. People who are either unmotivated and cannot set goals.

Subject material for this rant comes from hubby.

So recently I assigned my husband the task of getting our dishwasher fixed. This all started late September. Now some of it is DEFINITELY the fault of the repair company, however hubby has been dropping the ball, repeatedly on this one. Each time I ask him about it he offers an excuse about why he hasn't checked in on it. Now here's the thing. He knows that now here at work we're watched rather closely. Heck even our bathroom breaks are monitored. So my chance of calling out has become slim to nil. So I've tried shifting just one or two things to him. And he drops them. Repeatedly. Over and over. So as of yesterday I called the repair company because hubby started giving excuses over why he hasn't called them (all on the repair company like "well they told me 10 days" it's over 10 days from the last time they came out). Lo and behold, they don't know when it will be repaired and from the sound of it they don't even know if the part needed will be in stock within the next year. Again, a big issue with the repair company too, not just hubby.
Now where I'm going with this. Why oh why does hubby do this all the time! I am expected to manage my job, manage a HOA, manage my sons education, help him out in school, go to college, manage the home most of the time and yet the once or twice I throw an assignment over to him he botches it? Then I have to pick it up once again (which usually means now it's created a bigger problem, case in point, the dishwasher has been leaking on the floor for the past month or so which is causing the flooring to separate and get soaked which will then cause rotting here if not fixed soon)

Second rant, goals and setting them. Is it possible that my husband was raised in a household where goal setting is impossible, unknown, etc? In the past, actually around New Years dinner, I always love to bring up things we would like to accomplish this year. I heavily push it to my son to see if he can think of things he would like to learn or get better at. Son is starting to get the idea. Recently, after being very excited after talking to his grumpy (my Dad) he announced that he wanted to earn a free education through educational scholarships and earn a Doctorate at UAF (university of Alaska Fairbanks) in their Astrophysics program. Lofty goal but not one I'll diss nor discourage.
Meanwhile, more current, DS announced after this last quarter his goal was to get a B or higher in English and then later he announced he wanted to get on the A honor roll. (he has 4 A's, two B+'s as of today. One B+ is math which he is now one quarter ahead of the rest of the class). DS has also announced to me that he wants to set himself a goal like I do every year to read a certain amount of new books every single year (LOVE IT! DH HATES IT) Per hubby, DS and I speak greek to each other each day which confuses him.
So I guess its a rant with a question. How to lead your spouse to understanding that if you do not set a goal with a plan then you plan to fail?
After all, when I decided to get sober, a plan followed almost immediately afterward. A plan that sounded simple but had a bunch of steps to follow (1 pour out gin, 2 no more going to the shoppette for more gin, wine or alcohol 3 shut that monster up! 4 seek help from those who have been there or for a shoulder to cry on to release the pent up pain and so forth)
Anyone have any advice? I get the feeling that he somewhat agrees that he should set a goal but he just doesn't know that behavior, how to start etc. And I know for a fact that if I tell him "You should do this" he will ignore me.

So anyways, thanks to the fact that I've had numerous customers at my desk this morning since I started this, it has gone on much longer than I intended as well as being rather all over the place instead of nice well thought out and coherent so please forgive me for that.

Well, as of today, December 6th, 7 years ago I was in a really bad place. And in 5 days Artemis would reach into my life and ask me "why not make today day 1" and so I would.....

Still here still sober.

Dee74

I don't really know how to motivate someone who's unmotivated - but my wife (ex counsellor) usually sits me down and expresses her concerns like 'when you do this I feel this...'

it works on me because I hate causing problems for those I love.

D

munchkin05

Yeah I do know my hubby doesn't like angering me nor disappointing me. In fact its when I mention loudly "okay FINE, then I'LL DO IT" that he goes "no wait, I'll do it I'll do it" Thing is I don't really want it to get to that point, it shouldn't have to. I think many times my coworker with severe add/adhd and my hubby shares some common traits, one of them is constantly forgetting where your head or your rear end is. LOL Hubby is forever all over the place.

munchkin05

Today I'm going to pick on me. I had somewhat of an epiphany last night as I lay down and started to fall asleep.
And this is hard for me to say because I try to always remain humble, not to boast. If I spotlight something great I've done I do it through actions and try not to say it. I think as a child long ago I learned that others didn't like it when I excelled overly at things and verbalized it so now a days I try not to do that.
Hubby is always telling me I'm very smart. Yes I know what my IQ is, its high. My son is just slightly higher than me, at least as of right now.
But regardless, hubby is always telling me that I forget many times that others do not know the things I do. That I am constantly spouting off all sorts of info, all sorts of tidbits. I tell him it's just because I read...A LOT. And I absorb....A LOT. Especially if its health, nutrition, gardening related. But even other subjects, I absorb them.
I can spout off numbers that I've seen only once, not exactly photographic memory but close.
So I think here lies the issue. I talk to others as if I expect that this is common knowledge. That how to grow something, how to can something, how to do a move from one part of the US to the other, how to, oh I don't know, make bread! I talk to others like everyone knows this. Hubby tells me sometimes that I talk over others heads, that I move too fast. I know I get frustrated when others don't move fast enough, when it takes others so darn long to get the idea. Probably much like when my husband gets frustrated at me when he's trying to teach me math. LOL
I'm constantly trying to teach myself new things, ever since I became sober, it's almost like an obsession. I delight in learning something new, coming up with a new idea and trying it out. I get frustrated when I can't figure something out so then I just find a way around it and solve it. I get frustrated at those who don't do that or don't know how to do that. And I'll admit, I don't get it. How it could be so hard? Because for me, most of the time it's easy.
Is this a smart/IQ thing? Is this what someone who is smart has issues with? Or is there some facet in my personality that I need to work on?

As a kid and even young adult, I had issues with being too empathetic. I learned in my twenties to shut it off. It was toxic to me. Now a days I have to pick and choose. My Dad has always said I had a huge heart. I just have to moderate what I apply it to.
Sympathy. It's funny Dee I saw that in your signature line. Sympathy is not a problem for me as long as the problem that the person is going through is not self imposed.
I hate to say this but I have NO sympathy for my Mom with her swollen ankles, her swollen knees, her stomach issues, her nosebleeds lately and so on. Why? Because she won't stop drinking.
And she could stop. But she doesn't want to so, no I do not have sympathy for her.
Okay so, I've entered the territory of rambling. That's probably because I'm talking to my coworker about le crueset and her upset tummy.
I'm going to end this now because I can see now I won't get much more in that will make sense. LOL
Okay so still here still sober.

munchkin05

This morning was a battle. I had late reporting here at work (yipee!) which allowed me to catch up on laundry, cook myself a nice breakfast, do dishes and clean up.
Prior to that though DH & DS got into it because DS lost his phone....again. (Mom rushed in to save the day today and found out he had left it on the school bus, phone to be delivered to ds by the bus driver tonight on the way home)
DH is yelling at DS, meanwhile I'm somewhat quietly not too quietly reminding DH that he used to do this ALL THE TIME. He used to lose his keys, lock his keys in the car, forget where he put his cell phone, forget where he put his wallet ALL THE TIME. This of course ticked DH off. Honestly I know it was the wrong time to bring it up, however DH was stomping around yelling about how DS keeps doing this yada yada yada. I used to have to non stop swoop in and save the day when DH couldn't find his keys, couldn't find his wallet, couldn't find his phone. The thought came into my head when grandparents tell their kids "I hope your kids are just like you"
For me this is somewhat of a blessing. DS is sensitive like me, just not as empathetic (typical for a boy). Now however DS is obviously losing thing JUST LIKE HIS DAD. And while I find it a bit amusing, DH definitely hates the reminder that he used to do the same thing. And definitely does not like the reminder that I always bailed him out. So many times I had to get up early, leave work early, leave work in the middle of the day. Do I still resent it, yes. So you know I somewhat delight in the fact that DH is now having to deal with this ON THE OTHER SIDE.
DH was ranting that the reason DS has been losing it is because his phone doesn't really matter to him. Which then lead me to bring up that "well I know of things that obviously don't really matter to you that you never follow up on or remember"

Ever since I've become a parent I strive to lead by example. To not scream at DS for something that I have done or that I currently do today. If he makes a mistake that I've done previously I kindly bring up that yes I've done that too, and he needs to find a way to fix it. How I fixed it was...........
Now am I overly thrilled that he keeps losing his phone? No. In fact I'm annoyed with it, however I do also recognize when DS is trying his best to feign indifference, to act that it doesn't bother him when in fact it does quite a bit. DH can't see it. He just sees that DS is sitting, quietly, in a corner playing with a fidget spinner or a lego. I keep hoping that DH might possibly see how frustrating it is when someone you love keeps losing things and he has to keep going to find it. I don't know if he would though. I think it'll go over his head.
I do have to say this now. Do I think I'm perfect? No, absolutely not. I have my faults, but I learned early on as a child to always strive to not make mistakes that requires someone else to have to fix.

Lately I've been rather depressed. Like almost drinking depressed. I have missed work a bit due to it. I've gained about 30 lbs over the past 2 1/2 years. DH keeps telling me that our son is watching me so I need to get with the program and get moving. That's why I actually came here that day just recently. Because I was so depressed I was taking my allotted 15 minute bathroom break to go to the bathroom and cry.
I've actually pulled my son aside and explained to him that sometimes I'm just really hurting, and that I'm taking a mental day off because I cannot stand to be in a room with a yorkie aka 2 yr old in a room full of knives. (that's what my coworker and I like to compare her to)
So anyways, that's why I am coming back here now because I know for a fact that boss man will never let me take off to go see a therapist once a week.

Well still here, still sober.

munchkin05

Believe it or not, Saturday was a tough night for me. Not because it was overly stressful, even though now a days from work I'm non stop running from stress. Even on the two days of my weekend.
But because DH was trying different alcohol combinations and he got rather tipsy. At first it was funny but soon it turned into what almost felt like a cruel joke.
The thought kept coming into my head "why is it that he gets to escape, why is it he gets to let loose and let go and I cannot??? How good it would feel to have that first sip and then another and feel all the problems go away for a short time"

In the end I didn't. I made myself a cup of espresso. And gritted my teeth.
And cleaned the house. A lot. And cleaned some more.
And got angrier and angrier. Why is it I'm not allowed to escape but others are?
Now a days that bugs me more and more especially with work being what it is.
I just read an article today about how work, if not enjoyable and IF you are stuck at a desk all day can actually be as toxic as a smoking habit. I believe it.
It can increase your chance of cancer and shortly your life by a certain percentage. I don't recall the percentage.
Well gotta run. Have to eat lunch, make a couple of phone calls. So on and so forth.
Still here still sober.

Pondlady

Munch, The thing is alcohol is a depressant , so won't help your depression. I get wanting to feel blotto sometimes, but you know we'd be miserable within a few hours

One thing that's really helping me is exercise. Are there any dance type classes in your area? I find the music and moving, makes me feel so good.

I think you need to look for other work...but in the mean time, commit to some healthy habits. I suffer from depression, so I've learned to exercise , eat nutritiously, go to bed and get up at the same time....simple stuff, but it helps.

Also, could you see a therapist after work, or on the week end?

munchkin05

Yeah I know. That's why I didn't actually drink anything, I knew it would not really solve anything. Plus I didn't want to mess up my almost 7 yrs.
I really want to get back to exercise, but its now turning into the story of the person who cut off their nose to spite their face. DH gained MASSIVE amounts of weight when he got out of the military. I'm talking like 60 lbs. As he gained weight I kept hounding him. Finally a while ago I said "fine, if you don't want to lose weight, if you don't want to get or stay healthy, if you don't want to do all of this, well then neither do I" At one point I remember thinking "maybe if he won't get fit for himself he'll get healthy for me" wrong.
So now it's coming back to spite me.
Its so hard to get back into a habit and I had such good habits when I first was getting sober. Exercising several times a week, eating healthy, reducing sugar intake, lifting weights.
Now a days my eating is subpar, I use coffee ....A LOT, I eat a lot more sugar than I should. And no exercise.
Hubby has said he'll commit to exercising after the New Year but I don't exactly want to tie myself to him anymore. I keep getting the feeling if I do I'll just fall further and further down.

So, as for the therapist, the military hospital is only open on the week days, not weekends and only open till 4p. Most likely that won't be an option, especially for how the office is about to turn.
I found out yesterday that they don't plan on hiring anyone to replace my coworker who is moving down to the lower 48. I think this is for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, we do not really issue enough tickets for 3 people here. Second, I think this is somewhat of a play to get me to stop taking off so much leave without pay. I think the bossman knows that when I hate the environment I'm in I take lots of leave without pay. And I think he somewhat dislikes it that. This idea I'm not so certain of, just speculation. But bossman IS definitely the type of guy that rather than just telling you "no don't do that and I will just solve the issue" instead he'll go in round about ways to fix it.
Last reason could be, possibly, potentially, he's holding the position open for my coworker who is leaving. I know he's had somewhat of a soft spot for her ever since she had her breakdown here. I think he felt badly about it and blamed himself. Like reason two, this one is just speculation.
Well I have to run. Things are getting a tad bit busier here this morning.
Still here, still sober.

munchkin05

Today is the day. Today I celebrate 7 years of sobriety.
Hard to believe it is actually 7 years. In fact today I don't know of much to say about it. I'm happy I guess. Its hard to remember who I actually was 7 years ago. I see pictures of myself from time to time but pictures don't say a whole lot about what is going on behind the scenes.
I don't know, maybe I should go back to some of my original posts to see who I used to be. A while ago I would've said I was happier but now a days with the office environment that's definitely not the case.
So with that all said, I guess I'll go back to some of those original posts and see who I was 7 years ago.

Still here, still sober.

munchkin05

LMAO okay I just realized. I made a huge boo boo. Today is NOT 7 years! Its 6! LOL too funny. I was looking over my old posts from "6" years ago and realized OOPS I made a boo boo. I always knew I was bad at math but this was a pretty bad.
Happy 6 years to me.

Pondlady

Yes, Happy 6 years to you !!!

As you begin another year of sobriety, why not focus on some self care.....doing some things for yourself, that make you happy and healthy?

munchkin05

That'll be tougher now a days. Trying to get off work will be tough. We are hoping to have a summer of more camping trips, last year there were none. Last year was all about building, working on projects with a cruise thrown into the middle. DH's parents are visiting in July. I don't know how I feel about it. I know I won't be able to take too much time off there.
Thankfully my HOA duties have slowed down some though, even though at that point I'll be back up to two classes a quarter in college.
I almost worked out last night when I got home but honestly, I just made myself a cup of espresso, sat in a chair with a small hershey kiss and tried to decompress. Instead DH and I were arguing almost non stop from dinner on. I've been pushing him more about the need to communicate, we need to discuss stuff coming up otherwise we end up being reactive instead of proactive (which is much more expensive.)

ARTEMIS

Congratulations my friend on your 6 years!!!
You have done so much and come so far. I know you are in a tough place right now with your job. Winter is tough, no light is tough. You, my dear, are tougher. Take time to breath ,and as Pond said, to take care of you. You love to read. Take some time to do it. You are worth it.
Congratulations again and thank you for all your help and encouragement!!

munchkin05

Thanks Art!
Yeah, thankfully the yorkie has been off the past two days and the office has been rather slow lately so I've been using the time to catch up on stuff.
This morning I sent an email to my son's social studies teacher. That's the only class he has a C in! All the rest are A's! Uggh.
Then got some healthcare spending account issues resolved (I HOPE); got bills paid; called the middle school since they incorrectly marked my son as absent during shop class yesterday (he had a dress rehearsal for the band concert last night...REALLY? You would think one teacher would speak to the other maybe?? Or one dept to the other? whatever).
Next was travel plans for May/June. DH has announced that no ifs/ands or buts will he travel to Portland to visit with my parents. Not a thing against my parents, it's just Portland. Lately some crazy stuff has been happening there and he doesn't want to go there and have to deal with it.
So this means now I have to contact my parents and see how they BOTH feel about having DS visit with them for one week in late June or late July.
I know Dad would be thrilled but Mom would not be. Mom I don't think will be okay with having a preteen boy running around. Mom and DS don't exactly get along which now a days more and more makes me think that Mom just has issues with Men/males in general, considering she has massive issues with her son, issues developing with her grandson, relationship issues with her husband and so on. Every single time DS calls my parents; if he gets my Mom he'll talk to her for about 5 minutes and then say goodbye. Honestly all my Mom now knows how to talk about is weather and how she hates her sisters.

Dad just had cataract surgery done. He had the left eye done a week or so ago, and this week (yesterday) he got the other one done. Hopefully in about a week or so he'll be doing better.
I can't remember if I posted this here or not but Dad visited here in Fairbanks/North Pole this past June. We had a good time, Dad purchased three round trip first class tickets on the train down to Denali. Dad and Nick played cards, I read a book I had been trying to finish for some time. Nice peaceful trip. Nick had a great time playing poker with grumpy.
Okay well I can tell I'm not going to be able to write much more. My one coworker (the one who is moving down to the lower 48) is talking coupons with me. While I don't get excited for coupons I know she does so I talk about them a bit with her.
Still here still sober. and looking for my motivation to work out.

munchkin05

Not a super busy weekend this past weekend which actually bugs me some. I don't like NOT being busy. It bores me which then leads me to thinking about how bored I truly am, which then leads me into either being depressed or I figure out something to do and then get productive (which makes me happy). Sometimes I wonder how much of my upbringing from my Mom has made me like this. That I can't relax. I can't just sit and be a couch potato. Its hard for me to do that. Especially as I've gotten older. For instance, even when I sit and watch tv I typically do something useful while doing it. Like knitting while watching a show. Or sewing some pants up, or a button on a shirt or something.
I often wonder why am I like this but hubby has no issues whatsoever of just sitting all day long playing a game. For me I feel incredibly guilty if I do that.

So talking about watching tv, one of my favorite past times at work here has been to watch movies or youtube videos while working. Well come to find out, next door got rid of their wifi. SAD SAD SAD. Now I have to pay for the data. Darn. So right before this happened during lunch I was watching a last 20 minutes of GOT (game of thrones). Epic ending to an episode. Cersei got thrown into jail for her own sins after being all about throwing stones at others for their own sins. HA HA. That was totally fun to watch.
And the fact that she was the one who brought the religious group to power who threw her into jail was even the better part. Too funny and too ironic. I have noticed after taking a hiatus from GOT that certain characters I've really grown to love. Jon Snow; Jorah Mormont; Samwell Tarly.
One of my many goals for 2018? To read the entire book series of GOT. I love strategic novels like this. Enders game was another great book, short but great. I'm trying to get DS to read that one. (DH would never even touch a book if my life depended on it so no use trying to get HIM to read it).

Okay now here is something else new I've noticed. DH and his parents, mostly his Dad. His Dad has a view of DH that is no where close to where or how DH really is. DH's Dad sees hubby as self assured; confident; vastly more knowledgeable than his wife (me); a problem solver and a quick thinker. DH recently corrected his Dad and said "nope, that's all munchkin. She's all those things in our relationship" This makes me wonder, does DH's parents really think that out of all the things we've been through their son solved all of it? After all these years of seeing us here and there, have I done that GOOD of a job pretending I'm a ditsy blond? (I'm a brunette with blond and red highlights by the way). I know sometimes, well no, much of the time, I try to play the part of someone who doesn't know, has no clue. That is unless I meet someone who suddenly I just get the idea that "hey this person is pretty smart, this person is pretty useful, this person has super cool ideas that I could talk with!" DH says then I suddenly come alive and get all excited.
I think that is why DH insisted I go to college. I guess???

Well, I've run out of stuff to say other than almost time to go home, gotta run and pick up our milk share first. We get around 1 1/2 to 2 gallons of fresh milk every Monday from a dairy farmer down the road from us. Fresh cream and milk, yummos.

Still here, still sober.

munchkin05

Super boring depressing day here. I just got done telling my coworker down in Anchorage that I was looking for a moose to hit with my car, or a semi. That'll work too. I honestly think that for the longest time they've been oblivious to how miserable I've been here working with the yorkie. Then add the massive micromanaging they do now....well yeah. Its depressing.
Today I have to teach the yorkie how to process checks. I'll do it in the afternoon so that way it doesn't impact the phones. ha ha.
Whatever.

I started this entry today but now find I don't know what to say. Or what I do have to say annoys/angers/frustrates me too much so can't lest I break out into tears at my desk. I've been close to crying a couple of times. I hide it by getting a drink of water out of my water bottle.
And now, I just took a call from a good friend at the hospital, unfortunately the call went on for 20 minutes so I can see it now. I'm going to get a call to warn me that they were monitoring the call and it went on too long. (mostly because we were shooting the poop on the call rather than me being professional and staying on task about changing the flight and so on)

Whatever.

Well still here. still sober. And while I'm happy I'm sober I'm miserable regardless.

munchkin05

Not as bad today. But then that's probably because I'm not on the phones right now. Instead watching a tv show about families moving off grid. Fun to watch these families doing something challenging.
Tempted to get out my knitting but I don't exactly want to get that out with the bossman coming up to the office today to do an audit.
Why in the world does this person have to come up here and spoil our days leading up to the holiday!! LOL JK
I remember when I used to watch movies back in Maryland while working, it was much like this except I didn't have a yorkie trying to talk to me non stop. I kept trying to study at one point today but she kept talking so I gave up. I put my earbuds in, turned on my kindle and the tv show and worked reservations. Nice. Leave me alone people. I need peace and quiet. Not yap yap yap yap. LOL

Well tomorrow I should have a half day. I have to run to the health food store to get some more dried herbs for tinctures, then to the hardware store for more gloves for dh, next commissary. I wanted to pick up some scrapple. I miss scrapple and the commissary is the only place that sells it here.
And the restaurant supply store. They sell syrups for coffee and Italian soda. Last, grocery shopping for Christmas. Which means, ugh, hubby and I have to go over one last time with him what are we having. I know we still need chestnuts.
Christmas shopping is done. Yippee. Good thing too because Amazon has been having massive issues with deliveries here in Alaska.
Thank God I placed my orders in early early December.

So last night I drove home, was talking to my Mom and had to hang up because a lady got stuck on the side of the road with her baby in the car. Tried to get her out, but my car isn't that equipped for that kind of work. Plus I'm not uber knowledgeable on cars now a days. We did end up getting her out but man was I frozen after spending an hour trudging through the snow (up to my rear end) trying to dig her out.
Fun fun.
Thankfully hubby made me a coffee while I stripped my frozen, snow covered wet jeans off.

Today he is home because he thinks he might have eaten something bad yesterday. Oh poop!
Gotta run!
Lunch!
Still here still sober!

munchkin05

Hello there,
Long time no talk. LIke 4 months no talk.
So what is going on in my life? Hhmm snow is still on the ground, grrrrr. We have stuff to do when it's gone. Like removing trees. Building our chicken coop, landscaping. We have a camping trip planned for 11may. We get our bees on 26april! 3 colonies of Carnolians! We leave for our cruise 23May and then board on the 26th! Can't wait! This cruise hubby and I will be doing the chefs table which looks amazing, and then DH, DS and me will be doing the steak house. Something my Mom has always ranted about and I've always laughed at her rants. LOL
I guess recently my Dad helped my Mom into the hot tub they have at home, it helps his back. Mom's blood pressure when spiking up, she almost passed out and then Dad had to try to get her out of the tub. She was half ways awake as he got her out I guess. She went to the dr recently for her knees and the dr announced she needs surgery, total knee replacement. I can't imagine how that will work when she can't have a drink for 2 days while in the hospital. Can you imagine by the next day she starts having shakes what they will think?
My dad seemed pretty shook up by it all. I think he's decided no more hot tub for my Mom. My Mom on the other hand seems to be mixed in between enjoying the attention she is now getting, and frustrated by it all. Oh she's walking with a walker now. Dad says she leaves slug trails all around the house with it.
My Aunt (Dad's sister) passed away recently, (we were all expecting it) and Dad flew to her home to be there for the funeral. Mom got all pissed off because Dad was not calling her enough so she told me maybe she would call and leave a message and say she was at the hospital and that she had fallen and was in critical condition or something. Jeez. So mean spirited.
My God I hope and pray I do not ever become that bitter when I'm in my 60's.
He came home, of course, everything is back to being okay other than her complaining that its so hard to move from one area to another. big eye roll.

So what is happening at work? Well still no new coworker. And in 39 days I be cruisin mon so it'll be interesting to see what happens in the office. Part of me (the evil part mind you) is chortling with glee. Suddenly my bossman who thinks everyone is all equal and is blessed with all the same abilities might find out that that just ain't true. I don't know though. We shall see.
I do know I'll come back to a mess. YUCK

HOA, yuck another potential mess. Still president, yuck. Forcing others to now serve. Elections being held in about a week and a half. Not looking forward to this bs. sigh.
I'm hoping I will have more paid off on my house and we can try to sell again next spring. Don't know if it'll work but we'll see.
I really don't want to be a president of an hoa for the rest of my life. Some homeowners have advised me that that is EXACTLY what they want. NOPE.

My weight, yuck. Almost don't want to broach that one. I've gained a lot back. Probably all due to stress, not exercising, poor eating habits, etc etc. All of the above. Not alcohol though. Frustrating, especially with the cruise coming up but I keep hoping I will get hubby motivated which will then motivate me even more. I need some help on this one. I have so many other fires burning that I am currently constantly tending, that I need help in staying committed to this. Its not like before when I had a job where I wasn't really liked or wanted. And it seems in life that the moment I slide into an position where I am truly needed, well that just sucks the life out of me.
College? I have 3 more classes to go, and this weekend I have a final exam that is proctored. YUCK!
So dang expensive. Tired of spelling $$$
After this certificate I'll be taking a short break from college. There is no tax break, and I really don't even know how likely I will be in getting a job in the holistic medicine field. I keep telling hubby that my biggest issue is I'm so torn into so many different directions right now. There is not one single area of my life that is not packed with obligations. Hubby keeps volunteering me to help with this or that, research that or this. I have nothing left.
We will see on the college front.

So anyways, I better end this now. This afternoon I'm on phones, and honestly, my nails have grown longer now to the point where they're kind of getting annoying. I can't wait till Friday when I can give myself a manicure. (I'm trying to get my hands looking good in time for the cruise)

Still here still sober!

munchkin05

I'm tired. Really tired.
Good news is today is Wednesday, tomorrow I have a meeting with the principal of my sons school. Hoping it goes well. Its about his English teacher. Right now he's got an F in it, and per even the counselor this is a teacher that is seriously not enjoying teaching much. Between her and him, we decided finally to step in.
Now that all being said, he otherwise has 3 A's, 1 B+, one C and then the F.
I'm guessing by the end of the quarter he'll have 3 A's, 2 B's and the F. I think she's pretty certain she just wants to flunk him completely.
That's after talking to her here and there via email.
As well as at parent teacher conferences.

So today I get to go pick up my veggie box that we order weekly. Has lots of yummy treats in it. Fresh fruits, veggies, and what not.

Thankfully now my coworker the yorkie has taken her pet birdie to the vet. So I have the office to myself. Nice and quiet. Just like I like it.
I wish it could stay like this more often.

You know I'm sitting her thinking "what to say what to say" dunno.
So I'm just going to end todays post now. Still here still sober.