Zeepa

I was told by my doctor that the danger period for serious physical withdrawal was 72 hours. Another thing my doctor said, if you are anxious about your heart and get pains there, push where the pain is. If the pain gets better or worse, that is chest wall cramping and not your heart, as you cant affect heart pain through your rib cage.

TheAceFace

Day 16 done and dusted. Been running at lunchtime and to the gym tonight, glad I rejoined as I'm very focused on it right now and drinking isn't even entering my mind. However, I'm still very much remembering how tough last weekend was so aren't counting my chickens, I know the same thing can easily happen this weekend as well but staying active is definitely helping.

So tired right now I can hardly keep my eyes open so off to bed. Day 17 tomorrow, seems like 17 weeks!

Aellyce

I personally never used any excuse. My thinking was, stores that sell alcohol are there to sell it, and I will buy it, so that's supposed to be a deal for mutual benefits. I truly never felt like apologizing or avoiding the same stores regularly until a few times the clerks expressed obviously that they recognized me... But they would always make friendly comments (for sure, we are their customers), so I put up with that and never cared much beyond some very superficial shyness. Generally I'm someone who is really not good at small talk, but I developed that pretty well in the liquor stores for years! In the latest years buying any time of day or night, whenever I wanted.

Zeepa

The weekend was hard for me too. I locked myself away from the world and had marathon film sessions (I searched for the 50 best horror films of the decade and chose a few I hadnt seen before). The weekend went fast then

Aellyce

Zeepa, I did weekends like that too Or other couple days here and there, since my work has always been flexible.

Medion

Day 16 already!

Django

I've made it in to part 4, day 18 gone and early hours of day 19 :-)

Marymacsmith

Once again, I can relate so much. After frequenting a liquor store, as in every day after work I would go and buy a bottle, the clerks became quite friendly. At one point , the clerk asked me why I drink so much, and don't I know it is bad for me. Needless to say, I stopped going there, indignantly thought about complaining to the manage (yup, alcohol logic, I know). That is when I started the routine of never going to the same store two days in a row, and avoiding chit chat with the clerks. So glad this is over with. So much work, for nothing. Day 8!!!!

Goldcoastgirl

Yes, Marymacsmith - but now you can recognise what you were feeling/doing, I think that's half our problem. We just put blinkers on and hope that nothing will disrupt our numb lives.

I am going away for a girl's long weekend next month with two friends, one closer friend I am closer to than the other. They both know I have struggled with depression/anxiety and had a breakdown last year. I am going to be honest at the start and just say I have quit drinking because I have a problem of not being able to stop. I know being the people they are they will support me and that's what I need. I just want to get it out of the way so I can enjoy my weekend, and maybe it will help heal me too.

Marymacsmith

Goldcostgirl, that is a good plan. We all need all the support we can get.

letustrythis123

I might have said something to that clerk's manager. The one who told asked why you drink too much. The two worst experiences I had were the judgmental lady at the convenience store who was sick of me buying my 9 am wine. It's not her business. She's not a loving /concerned relative or friend, just a judgmental meddler. The one time I was in there and I was not buying, just picking up some other things. She kept scoping out both my hands to see if I had stuff. I stopped going there. I always use my debit card and I wouldn't put it past someone like that, who so brazenly interfere in stranger's business, to go snooping for more information on me and then try to call my employer or something. That place was near my work. That was the end of that.

She said with such hatred and condescension "BE WELL" and looked me dead in the eye. No. That did not make me quit. At all. It did make them lose my wine business :P. If someone works where they sell liquor they should keep quiet unless someone is falling over which I never was because it was usually my gateway to my day at THAT time. By the time that got replaced with Vodka, I had stopped going to that place.e

I always get carded so I was embarrassed on vacation when they carded me and said "oh, you came all the way from X state to buy this cheap vodka".

Another customer once saw my choice of drink while he was buying Miller and said "you drink that stuff? I wouldn't even drink it in college." he wouldn't shut up. I didn't say anything back. Too embarrassed because he was calling me out.

Dee74

I kinda see it from another angle.

I wanted someone to pull me up and say 'are you ok?/we're concerned' but noone ever did....I was probably one of many 'regulars' I guess.

I think I also wanted someone to comment, cos in my sickness, I wanted something to be indignant about so I could drink some more?

D

Marymacsmith

Well, I am off to work, have a good night, and a better nights sleep everyone.

ForestRunner

Day 18, job has been super stressful but AV is remarkably quiet. Running a 1/2 marathon at altitude Sunday. It will be the first time Zi have ran since SF marathon in October. Hope my body gives me a break on this one. Then hope to get more organized about my exercise schedule during the week. I need to lose about 55 lbs.

Goldcoastgirl

Off to dinner tomorrow night with some old friends we haven't seen in a long time. I am going to be the designated driver for a change so my husband can actually have a drink! It has always been a given in the past that I will drink and he will drive. He isn't a big drinker anyway, lucky him, but it will be nice that he can have a couple and not have to worry about it. What a patient husband I have.

Odelle

Wrapping up day 22, so far, so good! Fourth day walking on my lunch break and sticking to a healthy diet, I’m hoping to lose 20 lbs by June. Sorry guys, post 50 really does so down the metabolism; I never had to give my weight a second thought until my mid to late forties. Unfortunately, the looks don’t bounce back as quickly either, I’m holding out for a miracle that my eyes will turn white again…sigh. My optometrist diagnosed me with age-related chronic dry eyes several years ago, but you never know.

Everyone sounds so positive and determined, isn’t it wonderful!

Odelle

My husband doesn't drink AT ALL. You can only imagine what a thorn in his side I have been for 30+ years!

adee

Ending day 18 feeling really good, though tired. I'm so happy tomorrow is Friday. One of our social engagements got cancelled this weekend - so only one possibly awkward night to get through. I can do a few hours of awkward, and maybe it will even be fun.

I'm getting less irritated but that is still lingering a bit. I'm sitting in my bed w/ two of my kids while they work on homework and I'm having to really call on my patience. I seem to need a lot more alone time as I go through this, and that just doesn't really happen at this point in my life. Late night and early morning are it. But we have a cozy little setup going and I'm happy to spend time WITH them instead of time NEAR them, communing with my glass of whatever.

Something is settling inside this week and I'm profoundly grateful. I know there are tough times ahead but it is so nice to feel utterly solid at this moment after the struggle of the last few weeks.

Have a good day/night everyone - remember how strong you are!

letustrythis123

I could have written that. My husband is always content with a drink or two. I don't get it. It's a waste of calories if you are not going to get at least buzzed. I know, that's the alcoholic in me talking. I've never understood those who can have just one and that's obviously why I'm here cause that is not me. He even resists when he doesn't have to drive and people want to do a shot with him. He's not into losing control. It was always more than a given that he would be driving. He had half a beer at a New Year's Eve bash. for whatever reason, I didn't get loaded that night. I had been drinking on and off all day and kind of petered out at night which was odd for me. I was drinking the most of course of anyone there but thinking back, i was barely buzzed. When we got home, he wanted a champagne toast and I was actually ready to call it a night without one.

We had one, went to bed and I downed the rest of the champagne at 3 a.m. and then looked around for more alcohol. I think we were out and then I went to the store the next morning. I was very happy because on Christmas day, I could only pray that the gas station was open and it was.

adee

Oh my gosh - my fifth grader just brought home this poem that is about growing up and out of bullied childhoods and there is so much in it that is so beautiful about surviving. Long but really worth reading. To This Day Sean Koyczan


But I want to tell them
That all of this ****
Is just debris
Leftover when we finally decide to smash all the things we thought
We used to be
And if you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself
Get a better mirror
Look a little closer
Stare a little longer
Because there’s something inside you
That made you keep trying
Despite everyone who told you to quit
You built a cast around your broken heart
And signed it yourself
You signed it
“They were wrong”

.....

But our lives will only ever always
Continue to be
A balancing act
That has less to do with pain
And more to do with beauty