LittleSparrow

Trudging, rant away! That's a full plate! Since you'd have to address these things one way or another, aren't you glad you can do it with focus and a clear head? I hope these things all work out in your favor.

DoubleDragons

Oh, Trudging. When it rains, it pours. My husband and I were the poster children for the recession. (laid off banker, house that we had just spent hundreds of thousands of dollars remodeling, that plunged to half the value it was just a few months prior, then we got audited by the IRS, then we had to move to get back on track for my husband's income ~ with disgruntled high school age children, etc.) Honestly, I thought I was going to lose my mind with stress. Then a friend had the nerve to tell me that if I was going to have problems financial ones were the ones to have because they could be remedied. I wanted to shoot her at that point. But, you know what? She was right. We are back to being very financially sound. Our kids are happy in our new state. My husband has better work hours and opportunities than he ever had before. My only regret is that I let myself get so mired in the stress. I ended up with ulcers, panic attacks and my drinking (and my husband's) reached whole new levels and was no longer fun. It was used to cope. So depressing and such a waste! This too shall pass! (Now would be good, I know. LOL) Keep the course and stay positive. Money issues are not worth hurting our health, sanity, or relationships ~ they resolve themselves in an efficient business-like manner because that is all that it is ~ business! We are here for you!!!!

Dee74

I'm sorry you're going through all that Trudging.

I really believe tho there's nothing so bad a drink won;t make worse...I look back at my last seven years and some pretty serious downs - I believe I got through them quicker and easier and with less stress because I was sober

D

trudgingagain

Thanks for all of your kind words....yes, it passed and we shall get through this...it's just that D**N state of CA....ugh! They are sooooo broke, they are going after everything they can get....as if we didn't pay our "dues"...so very frustrating! Spent most of the day researching things on the computer....absolutely hate legal issues, but gotta say....I am pretty good at dealing with them....and being sober just adds to my determination....Thanks, all!

Bilr44

Money is the number one stressor in marriage, right ahead of kids. But learning how to deal with the stress productively is actually good for a marriage. I'd guess that drinking is not a productive way to deal though. Drinking caused a lot of self induced stress in my life. What I thought was stress was actually the affects of alcohol. Since I stopped drinking my stress levels are at an all time low. It's bad when you are so alcohol stressed that you stop enjoying one of your favorite hobbies. Mine was cooking, and alcohol took that enjoyment away. It's funny but I don't think I ever drank because of stress, but I kept drinking because of the stress it created.

JL2013

I visited Klamath falls Oregon once. I loved it and skiing was the passion of my 20s, but now I'm gonna have to reserve it for a few trips to teach my kids when they get old enough. Body Probly won't take the pounding. I've lost a lot of weight but still carry about 30lbs too much to really pound on my knees. Haven't spent much time at all in the Midwest. Northern Ca was ok. Far north is out. That snow thing is pretty but the bitter blue cold is just too much. London-couldn't see a thing for the fog( no joke), Middle East and Africa-- just didn't have anything meaningful that I want to remember without a PTSD blowout. Far East was a visit, not a stay spot. Never got to see a lot of Europe or Australia. You know I've travelled more than most ppl around me these days. Still feel like I've seen next to nothing. I live in a cabin on a mountain with a view, but probably my dream spot now is a nice flat yard in the small mountain town, to raise the children in walking distance of the park and parades in town. To flatten out a yard spot on a mountain costs more than I can think about, for our present $$ level.
Very good question ! Completely forgot that I'm a recovering boozer, for a moment! Thank you !!

fishoutawatta

I'm Soooo jealous of all of you! I've had two 14 hour days with no let-up, and you've been having such rich conversations! And tomorrow I'm "on" from 8:30 'til 4:30 without counting family time. I'm not grouching....just wishing I could be more connected. Whenever I think I'm back "in control", everything crashes in. Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to claim some time to address many of your wonderful posts/suggestions/questions/ideas! I hope....!

Fishy

JL2013

I'm sorry for all the stress, Trudging. You are doing GREAT, in the midst of it ! Proud to know you. All of you.

trudgingagain

Today is a new day! Feeling a lot less stressed...putting one foot in front of the other....gonna do some yoga as the sun rises and then walk on the beach. Meeting the community today on the beach for an effort to "Save the Monkeys"....donations being taken for monkey bridges....so the little rascals don't use the electrical wires to cross the streets or areas where there are no trees. Should be fun, albeit a little intimidating without a drink. Sooo....what's the QOTD???

JL2013

What does yoga do to/for a person ? Is it helpful? ( not QOTD, pls). That's too mundane of a question. Just never read up on it. Dragging Into the bed. Good day to you all !

trudgingagain

JL...for me, I like the stretches and the increased energy....also gives me some peace

DoubleDragons

JL, yoga has given me flexibility, toned muscles, and peaceful breathing exercises for when I am stressed. I love it!

WhoDey

Sorry JL, but you inadvertently posed the QOTD!

Yoga ... Have you tried it? What do you think?

I tried a couple of yoga classes a looooong time ago. I kept falling asleep during the relaxtion phase at the end of class, so I guess it worked! I'm very inflexible and when running I did perform some yoga exercises at home. I never stuck with it long enough to see improvement, but I can certainly see the appeal and how it would add to one's strength/flexibility.

Maybe one day I'll add the practice, but right now I find it difficult to find the time.

trudgingagain

Yay! I already answered it

EternalQ

So true! Even more so, for me at least, I don't think I actually GOT through things when I was drinking.... I think the stresses just piled on and I didn't work through grief or other feelings and I didn't solve any problems... I just pretended they weren't there by drinking till numb and forgetful.

My world got smaller and smaller till everything reminded me of something I wanted to avoid... except for me and the bottle in a corner of my living room.

Many hard things have happened to me since being sober, but I actually work through them so they don't stay. That is the natural way of things but drinking led me to believe otherwise.

Bilr44

I have never done yoga in my life. I am about one belt below black belt in Taekwondo though.

Driver1

I keep forgetting to sign off.

Have limited time but I reserve the right to chime in on the "favorites" and QOTDs at a later time (but I have done Yoga, P90X version; thought that would be an "off" day in the cycle...boy was I ever wrong, that kicked my ass too!).

I don't know what's too much info, so I'm just gonna throw it all out there...it's what is going on.

Things have been busy. DW had preeclampsia POST delivery (who knew?...post-delivery?). We were moved to high risk floor Tues morning to kick that liver into normal zone. She is still being monitored but responding really really well (DW does everything well, even stuff that is out of her control...sometimes its a bit irritating to be quite frank...but not on this one).

DW apparently also had fever during delivery (which was vaginal and took one hour!). Fever auto put babies in NICU for 48 hours to monitor blood culture to be sure no infection. Fast forward...no infection. So last night Big Ass Kicker (boy; 6lb, 13oz) got released to us, but Little Ass Kicker (girl; 5lb) stayed cause needed to continue to monitor low heart rate. This morning discover pulmonary ventricular contractions (misfiring). So now Echo and other tests.

Here's the deal: wife is doing great and is AMAZING (seeing maternal instincts kick in is overwhemingly breathtaking). Both AK's are doing their prescribed jobs of eating (both have latched, but Little just today and is a bit clueless), sleeping, and creating colorful masterpieces on canvas.

I'll worry when someone important tells me to worry. In the meantime, I just try to keep the wife from worry and do all I can with babies. Pretty simple. So far, so good.

Tobers, you all are great...and a terrific, healthy, quick break for me (I'm reading...thanks for all the kind sentiments earlier this week). I definitely know you care...you all have so often said so. Please just hit me with a "Thanks" if it suits your fancy and then on to SR business as usual.

trudgingagain

Well done, Driver! And sounds like DW is doing well also! YAY!

Bilr44

Driver,

My SIL had twin preemies so I know all about NICU. They tend to err on the side of caution with babies so it sounds like your two are doing well. TMI on the pooping on the canvas, lol. Soon you will have them both home to enjoy.

fishoutawatta

Fishy swimmin' back into the headwaters!

5 things:

Fishing (duh!) -- primarily FLY-fishing, and fly-tying. Both provide such a wonderful diversion!
Cycling -- Road-biking (long distance, NOT racing)
Cooking -- primarily, these days, Chinese and grilling (and whatever the kids will eat)
Hiking/camping
Mystery novels

Stressors in a marriage? Money and kids. Funny how they seem to be inter-related! My (adopted from China) teen-aged daughter told her therapist that her relationship with her parents would probably be very different (i.e., more positive) if we hadn't adopted her brother (also from China). Both kids, for different reasons, have demanded a lot of extra $$$ that have detracted from my wife's and my connubial relationship.

Yoga? I think I'd probably like it. And a previous trainer told me I should do it. BUT, between spin class, and weight training to add the weight-bearing exercise, I can't fit yoga in. time-wise!

Driver -- hang in there -- you'll be FABU as a dad.

Keep on keeping' on, my friends. Y'all provide SO MUCH encouragement/power to all (read: "ME") who read the Tober Tales!

Fishy