Class of September 2013 - Part 23
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Soberspace
Posts: 591
Thanks for your good posts guys, especially Blkdiesel and Lommey sharing.
Brooksie, the way you described a functioning alcoholic will probably apply to many adults that hold down a job despite "drinking to much". But beyond work a the simple day to day routines, the functioning alcoholic doesn't function as well.
Oh and that secret AA cruise society sounds cool! Brilliant idea and especially the logistics of organising it is wow!
So sorry to hear of your daughters problems Kaneda and Rochele, I can relate to their problem.
Over here, nothing new going on with me. My dad's relapse is disconcerting and frightens me as "I may be next" but I know it doesn't have to be that way. Last two workdays have been a massacre but I managed thanks to a senior colleague coming to my rescue as I had too many and too complex cases with too little time. It felt good to know that it's ok to reach ones limit and no shame in calling for help.
Brooksie, the way you described a functioning alcoholic will probably apply to many adults that hold down a job despite "drinking to much". But beyond work a the simple day to day routines, the functioning alcoholic doesn't function as well.
Oh and that secret AA cruise society sounds cool! Brilliant idea and especially the logistics of organising it is wow!
So sorry to hear of your daughters problems Kaneda and Rochele, I can relate to their problem.
Over here, nothing new going on with me. My dad's relapse is disconcerting and frightens me as "I may be next" but I know it doesn't have to be that way. Last two workdays have been a massacre but I managed thanks to a senior colleague coming to my rescue as I had too many and too complex cases with too little time. It felt good to know that it's ok to reach ones limit and no shame in calling for help.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,003
Good morning all, another blazing hot day. Its going to hit 44C today (111F). That's enough for me. I want cool weather now pls which hopefully will arrive on the weekend. Phew...
As I've probably said many times before but I am so happy to exercise. Nothing like a hard workout to clean out your brain. Any anxiety or melancholy thoughts simply wash away. A good sleep also helps ! However, I do need to keep motivated in my job hunting. Its so easy to fall into a heap of self pity and misery if I allow it. Fortunately, I am aware of those pitfalls. Meditation also works a treat when I feel a little down. I am so grateful to have my health, my family is intact, I have a home and I have the opportunity to appreciate the day fully without any form of impairment.
Blkdiesel: plenty of good advice here. If I read your last post correctly, are you saying that your lady friend also has a problem with drinking ? Sorry to say but if that is true, its going to be difficult as co-dependency makes sobriety a tough journey. Hopefully I read too much into it. One of the old rules of AA is to stay away from old environments. Br00ksie has good advice: try an AA meeting. It may or may not work but keep an open mind. Oh, and be patient !
Fishy: I can see the future. You are in a room full of recovering alcoholics on board a large ship. It is calming and you are very chilled out, having a fabulous time with your folks. Eerie, eh
Tallia: I hope your aunt and uncle pull through ok !
Lommey: hugs to you ! You're doing fine now. Dont dwell too much in the past, its gone. You still have your children to love and appreciate. Lots to do and be happy for
Fifth: keep plugging away, just one day at a time !
Have a lovely evening/day ! THanks to all !
As I've probably said many times before but I am so happy to exercise. Nothing like a hard workout to clean out your brain. Any anxiety or melancholy thoughts simply wash away. A good sleep also helps ! However, I do need to keep motivated in my job hunting. Its so easy to fall into a heap of self pity and misery if I allow it. Fortunately, I am aware of those pitfalls. Meditation also works a treat when I feel a little down. I am so grateful to have my health, my family is intact, I have a home and I have the opportunity to appreciate the day fully without any form of impairment.
Blkdiesel: plenty of good advice here. If I read your last post correctly, are you saying that your lady friend also has a problem with drinking ? Sorry to say but if that is true, its going to be difficult as co-dependency makes sobriety a tough journey. Hopefully I read too much into it. One of the old rules of AA is to stay away from old environments. Br00ksie has good advice: try an AA meeting. It may or may not work but keep an open mind. Oh, and be patient !
Fishy: I can see the future. You are in a room full of recovering alcoholics on board a large ship. It is calming and you are very chilled out, having a fabulous time with your folks. Eerie, eh
Tallia: I hope your aunt and uncle pull through ok !
Lommey: hugs to you ! You're doing fine now. Dont dwell too much in the past, its gone. You still have your children to love and appreciate. Lots to do and be happy for
Fifth: keep plugging away, just one day at a time !
Have a lovely evening/day ! THanks to all !
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Hi everyone, up and down day for me today, stayed up on the farm last night an it went ok, talked things through a lot with my dad. Went to an AA meeting today and shared that I was in a pretty good place emotionally, I then went to get my girls more clothes with some gift tokens my mum sent over from Ireland for xmas. I got my eldest a lovely coat and my youngest two coats, and spent the same on them both.
So far so good, but then I arranged to meet up with my ex who was in a café eating with them, she knew id got some stuff for them so I left the bag of clothes by her table and after saying hi to my girls went to the counter to get a coffee, when I came back to the table my eldest daughter who is five was crying, when I asked her what was wrong she said 'mummy said the coat was horrible', I wasn't happy and calmed her down but asked ex what was wrong, she had a go at me saying that I basically got a better coat for my eldest than I did my youngest!!
When I told her she was wrong she said: 'I knew it was too good to be true', I asked her what she meant and she said: 'You've been drinking!!', I was absolutely stone cold sober, and told her so, even asked her to smell my breath if she didn't believe me, she did and she then believed me. She apologised after a while and admitted she was slightly jealous of the attention I was getting from the kids for buying them stuff, I told her I feel I cant win!!!
Anyway I remained calm and even made a joke of it all which made my girls laugh and things passed without an argument. Don't know if its me being too sensitive but Im hurt now and disappointed in being accused of drinking more than anything, im 3 months sober tomorrow and felt let down by her especially wrongly accusing me in front of the kids and a café full of people I felt degraded.
So far so good, but then I arranged to meet up with my ex who was in a café eating with them, she knew id got some stuff for them so I left the bag of clothes by her table and after saying hi to my girls went to the counter to get a coffee, when I came back to the table my eldest daughter who is five was crying, when I asked her what was wrong she said 'mummy said the coat was horrible', I wasn't happy and calmed her down but asked ex what was wrong, she had a go at me saying that I basically got a better coat for my eldest than I did my youngest!!
When I told her she was wrong she said: 'I knew it was too good to be true', I asked her what she meant and she said: 'You've been drinking!!', I was absolutely stone cold sober, and told her so, even asked her to smell my breath if she didn't believe me, she did and she then believed me. She apologised after a while and admitted she was slightly jealous of the attention I was getting from the kids for buying them stuff, I told her I feel I cant win!!!
Anyway I remained calm and even made a joke of it all which made my girls laugh and things passed without an argument. Don't know if its me being too sensitive but Im hurt now and disappointed in being accused of drinking more than anything, im 3 months sober tomorrow and felt let down by her especially wrongly accusing me in front of the kids and a café full of people I felt degraded.
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
Originally Posted by FishnHippy 
They have to have AA meeting on the cruise ship so the captain does not miss any of his meetings.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
1step, she was out of line. Period. She was jealous and I saw it coming earier in your story. She is playing the kids as cards in her game of life, and that is sad for them. Well, at least, hearing it from your perspective makes it sound that way. I am sorry she accused you of drinking, when you have been so successfully sober.
Well, at least, hearing it from your perspective makes it sound that way. I am sorry she accused you of drinking, when you have been so successfully sober.
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
1step, try not to feel let down. There was a lot of positive in your story. You stood up for yourself. She apologized. She admitted her own weakness of jealousy.
It's hard to break out of old patterns. Give ex some time to get used to the new you. He's a really terrific guy that 1step!
It's hard to break out of old patterns. Give ex some time to get used to the new you. He's a really terrific guy that 1step!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Thanks rochele and Lillian, Im getting better at dealing with things in sobriety and despite it being a horrible situation im glad and thankful I didn't react. Im learning by being sober that I cant change other peoples' behaviour, what I can change is my reaction to their behaviour.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Originally Posted by 1stepup
Thanks rochele and Lillian, Im getting better at dealing with things in sobriety and despite it being a horrible situation im glad and thankful I didn't react. Im learning by being sober that I cant change other peoples' behaviour, what I can change is my reaction to their behaviour.
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