Imabuleva

Day 6. Best I've done in recent memory is 8 days, but I wasn't serious that time. This time, I'm serious.

Wishes

Imabuleva, I believe in you! I love your avatar. The cat seems to say that he has no idea what is to happen but it is going to stay put and see it through. He knows good things are to come :-)

Imabuleva

Thanks, Wishes. I Google'd cats and just picked the coolest random one that I found

The Frog

New here after lurking for many many months. Have promised my girlfriend that I will stop drinking and I also need to do this for myself. All came to a head at the end of last week when I suffered what could best be described as a mental breakdown. Docs prescribed anti anxiety meds and went for a final blowout yesterday which ended in me blacking out and making a fool out of myself. Day one is nearly over. Taking it one day at a time as that's all I dare do

hkvik

Day 6 begins. Had a bad experience last night that normally would have triggered me to go buy cigarettes (and since you already in 7-11, why not get a few beers as well), somehow it didn't even cross my mind. Today however will be difficult, maybe it's the x-mas that is affecting me after all, I'm not feeling well. It's half day work today and lots of people will hit the bars early, I'll pass them in the street and think "that's how it should be. Here I am, it's dark, cold and I don't feel good. There they are, inside, together, happy, drinking, I should do the same.". Problem is that then I would do the same tomorrow afternoon. And the day after. Those few hours of fun and togetherness would end up being back in the daily cycle we all know so well.
Sorry for the rant, it's not a good day. Good luck everyone.

121313

Well it's a full 10 days without a drop of alcohol, I am so pumped! No hangover and I can remember the movie I watched last night ...a bonus!! For a while there, I could watch the same show day after day and never know it, since I was too drunk to remember. I will be faced with my biggest challenge this weekend as I see family for the holidays, always a time of free flowing alcohol. I know you have all been there or will be shortly, good luck to everyone.

HenryKrinkle

Welcome Frog! You will find a lot of support and encouragement here. Keep posting and reading!

HenryKrinkle

Hang in there hkvik. You can do it!

Soberella66

"...would end up back in the same cycle we all know so well." You hit the nail on the head Hkvik. Thank you! Day 22 and feeling agitated. Was a good day then I went shopping and picked up on bad moods in the store and there was some kind of drama in there prior that I didn't know about. Came away feeling sh**** and guilty feeling. Then did something not healthy or part of my 'plan' and now feel like a big ol' glass of hangover tomorrow would be quite nice. Can't and won't follow through with that but I hope it doesn't last through the holidays.

Soberella66

If I may double-dip here.
I feel tremendous anxiety when going to my neighborhood grocery store bc I don't know if I've gone in there before whilst in a blackout to buy more alcohol and caused a scene, was inappropriate with employees, fell over, etc. That has happened before at other grocery stores. Also they are kind of 'snotty' at this store so there's an extra layer of discomfort.
Sometimes I find going early in the day helps.
Not feeling the holidays at all this year and looking forward to just putting a not so great year to bed. Def. not the worst year... 2010-2012 hold that title but the bulk of 2013 just not much worth of a mention, but the last few weeks have been great with some wonderful surprises (thank you Universe!).
I think I will write a list of my accomplishments from this year and a list of goals for 2014.
Just realized I haven't written at all today. There we go!
Thanks for letting me vent and sort of 'talk to myself' here.

Beanie25

Hope you are all doing well..stay strong. Day 11, I think I can get through Christmas, have put plans in place, just got to stick to them like glue no matter what happens. Merry Christmas eve.

Muhv

Day 2 for me. I wish it was already day 14, I know by then I won't think about having a drink for the whole day. But for now, it's like the only thing I can think about. And I keep thinking of ways to sneak out of the house and go to the city and buy something to drink. But thank god, we are in the middle of nowhere and because all the shops are closed for the holiday, I will not find an "excuse" to drive anywhere.

I also like that I can remember everything I did last night and all the conversations. I don't have problems with sleeping, but occasionally I do wake up at 4 and stay up for an hour or so. But I always think it's because I go to bet at 9 already.
I wish these holidays were over already, I want my daily routine, to wake up, go to work, come home, cook and clean, some activities with children and then it's already 9 pm and off to sleep. It is so much easier to keep myself on track without any visitors, christmas dinners and so on.

SisterChristian

Well, it's Day 1 for me...again. :-(

It should be Day 11, but I took two oxy's last night. My husband got his Rx yesterday and he left his full bottle of pills on the nightstand for like 2 minutes while he was on the phone, (he usually keeps them hidden from me) and I quickly took two before he could come back in the room. So, I feel like total **** for stealing from my husband, as well as throwing away 10 days of sobriety. I hate this person I've become when it comes to drugs. It's like nothing or no one else matters, except the drug. I don't want to be like that!!

I'm not going to give up though. Going to just start over again today. It's just so freaking hard right now. I'm off work for the holidays. It's easier for me to stay sober when I'm busy working, and it's like I associate everything with getting high. Watching TV or a movie, baking cookies, wrapping presents, just anything and everything. It's like that signature someone has on here, "I only drink to celebrate, like the opening of a brand new pack of cigarettes..." or something along those lines. That is me in a nutshell. I don't know how to be just me, without being in an alerted state of mind.

Another thing that makes it so hard is that my husband always has oxycodone, my drug of choice. He has chronic pain issues, so he is prescribed oxy (unlike me). So drugs are constantly in my house. It's hard to not think about that all the time, but I will try.

That's it for now, just wanted to check in. Congratulations to those who are still sober! Thanks for welcoming me. I'll be around. I need this place...desperately!

SC

The Frog

Day two and the anxiety is killing me. My heart is constantly pounding. Is this a normal part of becoming sober? And how long does it last?

ribbit ribbit

hkvik

Day 6 over. Wasn't too bad after all, my mind was on other things than drinking most of the day.
Good luck everyone!

Babs78756

Sisterchristian... I know it's hard to do but in those moments... Slow down.... That split second grab for booze, drugs whatever is what makes all the difference. I don't know exactly how it's done but it's the sssssslllllooooowwww down to actually make the decision not just that impulsiveness. Can you tell your husband? Certainly he's aware that leaving drugs around the house is dangerous. I couldn't imagine living in a house with my favorite wine just left out - at least right now.

Hang in there!

Imabuleva

Day 7... yay for one week!

Here's to many, many more weeks *takes a drink* (tea, of course)

Happy holidays, everyone.

Imabuleva

This sounds like withdrawal symptoms. If you are concerned, you should see your doctor.

BlueSkiesAB

Confession time. I wasn't going to say anything but the guilt is there and I need to 'spill it'. I drank last night. I didn't get drunk but I had a few glasses of wine. I know I shouldn't have but I found myself feeling angry (I was angry with my hubby that he didn't do the two things I asked him to do for me - I had to go to work and he was home all day doing nothing) and so I poured a glass of vino while cooking dinner (needed the wine for the recipe ... I know .. how convenient right?). My daughter was helping me prepare a marinade for lobster which includes a half cup of white vino. I thought, 'f*** it' and poured a half glass for me. I actually did try to convince her that we didn't need the wine for the recipe but she insisted (again ... how convenient for me - she doesn't know that I stopped drinking). That eventually followed with two more half glasses. I was feeling nicely buzzed. My hubby didn't say a word if he noticed. I did not wake up hung over but ... yes... the guilt. I went to work and now I worry if he knows. My daughter texted me and asked why he was so grumpy and now, of course, I think it is because of me. Damn! Going home is going to be tough. Waiting if he says something will be even tougher. Do I fess up? Stay quiet and wait it out? Arrrgh. The web we weave...

We are celebrating Christmas tonight. I will not drink any alcohol. New Rule for me: No drinking in the house (now to keep to it... )!

BlueSkiesAB

Welcome HenryKrinkle. Love the name!