Class Of December 2013 - Part 2
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 254
Day 16 is winding down. Feeling very energetic, it's a little scary almost. Some fantastic posts in Newcomers tonight, very grateful to be here especially during the holidays.
I hope everyone is doing well and hanging in there.
I hope everyone is doing well and hanging in there.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,131
Ok....so NOW starting day (1). Though I feel very good, but I know this cannot continue. No guilt trip either because I realize I've made many strides over the past few years.
In may head, I wonder if I'm rationalizing, but I really feel I'm just being positive.
Stay Strong Decemberites!
In may head, I wonder if I'm rationalizing, but I really feel I'm just being positive.
Stay Strong Decemberites!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 40
I fell through tonight. So depressed. I let my family and myself down for what - three beers? I probably wont be "classic hungover" tomorrow but it will be days before I feel as good as I did today before I made this mistake.
There is a lesson to be learned for me from this:
1. I can't meet my drinking friends again. However much we share outside the drinks (and we do), alcohol has taken that away from me and there is no going back.
2. Need to find a social life outside alcohol. It was hunger for social contact that drove me tonight, not cravings, it started with a movie and you know how what happened after. I had none-drinks first but then "a beer won't hurt" etc.
Since outside my marriage (my wife doesn't drink - thank god), everyone drinks, I need to build a social life without alcohol and I have no idea how to do that. This, more than cravings, is the hardest thing for me.
Anyway, after 18 (and honestly not very hard) days without alcohol I fell through and now I have to start again with the bad sleep, mood swings and all of that. It really sucks and so not worth it. Anyone reading this and is even thinking about picking up the bottle after a few days of being sober, don't do it. It's so not worth it. Few hours (at best) of "fun" and then the huge regret.
There is a lesson to be learned for me from this:
1. I can't meet my drinking friends again. However much we share outside the drinks (and we do), alcohol has taken that away from me and there is no going back.
2. Need to find a social life outside alcohol. It was hunger for social contact that drove me tonight, not cravings, it started with a movie and you know how what happened after. I had none-drinks first but then "a beer won't hurt" etc.
Since outside my marriage (my wife doesn't drink - thank god), everyone drinks, I need to build a social life without alcohol and I have no idea how to do that. This, more than cravings, is the hardest thing for me.
Anyway, after 18 (and honestly not very hard) days without alcohol I fell through and now I have to start again with the bad sleep, mood swings and all of that. It really sucks and so not worth it. Anyone reading this and is even thinking about picking up the bottle after a few days of being sober, don't do it. It's so not worth it. Few hours (at best) of "fun" and then the huge regret.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 369
Hkvik - Tonight was challenging no doubt. Perhaps its not time to make sweeping decisions on your social life or any major decisions right now. You have plenty of time to figure out how you want to socialize on a case by case basis. All of my friends drink as well and most of 'getting together' means wine with the girls which I SO CANNOT DO. So, I've actually started thinking of alternatives to get togethers - a friend and I hired a trainer we see once a week, instead of going to get wine after work (got I just got a pang of missing 'happy hours') and the other tool I've learned is getting together in bigger groups so no one really notices that I'm having a NA beer. I know some folks are way against that but it works for me right now. There are ways around it, socially. Can you maybe tell one person in your group? Anyway, you can think about all of that in time....
Have some Vitamin B today and maybe some jasmine tea (I heard Jasmine tea is a 1-2 punch to some of the boozey side effects).
Hang in there buddy!
Have some Vitamin B today and maybe some jasmine tea (I heard Jasmine tea is a 1-2 punch to some of the boozey side effects).
Hang in there buddy!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Cardiff - UK
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by hkvik 
I fell through tonight. So depressed. I let my family and myself down for what - three beers? I probably wont be "classic hungover" tomorrow but it will be days before I feel as good as I did today before I made this mistake.
There is a lesson to be learned for me from this:
1. I can't meet my drinking friends again. However much we share outside the drinks (and we do), alcohol has taken that away from me and there is no going back.
2. Need to find a social life outside alcohol. It was hunger for social contact that drove me tonight, not cravings, it started with a movie and you know how what happened after. I had none-drinks first but then "a beer won't hurt" etc.
Since outside my marriage (my wife doesn't drink - thank god), everyone drinks, I need to build a social life without alcohol and I have no idea how to do that. This, more than cravings, is the hardest thing for me.
Anyway, after 18 (and honestly not very hard) days without alcohol I fell through and now I have to start again with the bad sleep, mood swings and all of that. It really sucks and so not worth it. Anyone reading this and is even thinking about picking up the bottle after a few days of being sober, don't do it. It's so not worth it. Few hours (at best) of "fun" and then the huge regret.
There is a lesson to be learned for me from this:
1. I can't meet my drinking friends again. However much we share outside the drinks (and we do), alcohol has taken that away from me and there is no going back.
2. Need to find a social life outside alcohol. It was hunger for social contact that drove me tonight, not cravings, it started with a movie and you know how what happened after. I had none-drinks first but then "a beer won't hurt" etc.
Since outside my marriage (my wife doesn't drink - thank god), everyone drinks, I need to build a social life without alcohol and I have no idea how to do that. This, more than cravings, is the hardest thing for me.
Anyway, after 18 (and honestly not very hard) days without alcohol I fell through and now I have to start again with the bad sleep, mood swings and all of that. It really sucks and so not worth it. Anyone reading this and is even thinking about picking up the bottle after a few days of being sober, don't do it. It's so not worth it. Few hours (at best) of "fun" and then the huge regret.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 54
hivik - Thank you for sharing what you went through, I am new to this and really appreciate the honesty from everyone who is here. Thank you! I have faith that we will all succeed in being alcohol free at some point in time. Hugs!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 54
Day 4. Not feeling half as guilty as I had over the last few days. Feeling strong and with no need to drink at all (although I seldom ever have felt the 'need' to drink). I think it is more a case of wanting to keep the 'buzz' than anything else.
Haven't slept well for the last few days either. I don't know if that comes with the territory or if it is directly connected to my guilt. Can anyone speak to this at all?
Have a work related dinner tonight. Taking employees to a fancy restaurant. I am not going to drink. I will order sparkling water or something non alcoholic. I have decided that my reply (if asked why I am not drinking or if I am urged to 'have just one with the gang') will be that I am watching my waistline (easy thing to say when you are a girl). I really don't expect to 'cave in' later, again... feeling really confident and upbeat today.
Wishing everyone a great day!
Haven't slept well for the last few days either. I don't know if that comes with the territory or if it is directly connected to my guilt. Can anyone speak to this at all?
Have a work related dinner tonight. Taking employees to a fancy restaurant. I am not going to drink. I will order sparkling water or something non alcoholic. I have decided that my reply (if asked why I am not drinking or if I am urged to 'have just one with the gang') will be that I am watching my waistline (easy thing to say when you are a girl). I really don't expect to 'cave in' later, again... feeling really confident and upbeat today.
Wishing everyone a great day!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Cardiff - UK
Posts: 38
Good luck with tonight Blueskies.
I always have trouble sleeping when I quit - I'm day 4 too today although it's now early evening where I am. Hoping for a good nights sleep tonight as I find it's usually after the first couple of days that a natural pattern sets in for me (done this too many times before and hoping it's the last time!
I always have trouble sleeping when I quit - I'm day 4 too today although it's now early evening where I am. Hoping for a good nights sleep tonight as I find it's usually after the first couple of days that a natural pattern sets in for me (done this too many times before and hoping it's the last time!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Hi all,
Day 12 here. I feel so much better about myself and life in general when I am not drinking/hungover/obsessed about my next drink. To those of you struggling and/or starting over, I have been there many, many times and can so empathize. The most important thing is to keep coming back. Try to learn from the slip and just try again. Much better than the alternative, right? Hugs to all of you. Just keep playing the tape forward to no hangover tomorrow
Day 12 here. I feel so much better about myself and life in general when I am not drinking/hungover/obsessed about my next drink. To those of you struggling and/or starting over, I have been there many, many times and can so empathize. The most important thing is to keep coming back. Try to learn from the slip and just try again. Much better than the alternative, right? Hugs to all of you. Just keep playing the tape forward to no hangover tomorrow
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Southern California
Posts: 135
Back to day 1. Yikes. At least I can stick with the December group.
I made a list of all the positive things stopping drinking will bring, and I'm going to go over the list any time I've got my keys, ready to head to the store.
I made a list of all the positive things stopping drinking will bring, and I'm going to go over the list any time I've got my keys, ready to head to the store.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 54
Originally Posted by Vickylou
Good luck with tonight Blueskies.
I always have trouble sleeping when I quit - I'm day 4 too today although it's now early evening where I am. Hoping for a good nights sleep tonight as I find it's usually after the first couple of days that a natural pattern sets in for me (done this too many times before and hoping it's the last time!
I always have trouble sleeping when I quit - I'm day 4 too today although it's now early evening where I am. Hoping for a good nights sleep tonight as I find it's usually after the first couple of days that a natural pattern sets in for me (done this too many times before and hoping it's the last time!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 300
Originally Posted by Vickylou
Hi Cara - I felt sad and emotional last night. Tired from not sleeping, ill with a nasty cold. I ended up having a really good cry - a snotty, heaving cry which left me feeling so relieved. It came to me that usually I would have had a bottle or two of wine rather than letting the emotions run through me like that. I guess it's a healthy thing. Congratulations on your 18 days x
Thanks Vickylou, never thought of it that way but it makes perfect sense
Day 19 just about over. Had a work Xmas lunch today and a few people had wine. It didn't bother me though, I was never interested in just one there had to be many more to follow! Still felt good though.
Last edited by Cara39; 12-18-2013 at 03:40 PM. Reason: added a bit
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,131
I think I need to simply stick to my guns. Typically day (1) can be tough. But I don't even feel like drinking tonight and I'm not going to. Everything up until 2011 revolved around drinking.
I've done so many positive things the last two years that didn't involve drinking. I think my mind is leading me to believe I can control this. And I have kept things in moderation the past 3 days. But the bottom line is I don't need to do this and ultimately I'm here because I just want it gone from my life because of SR and the positive things I've experienced.
So, I don't know what I'm going to do differently Dee except remind myself that I can live without alcohol. I just need to take it to the next step and quit for good. I've had many 30+ plus days without. What keeps bringing me back?
Well, it doesn't hurt that it's every where and that's all people talk about at work. My boss tells me nearly every day how he's going to go home and have some scotch.
Maybe that is the problem. The constant reminder. The commercialization of this wicked stuff as well.
So, now that I've identified that It could be the constant reminder, Dee, anyone, please throw some suggestions my way please because I need something tangible to hang onto this time.
Thanks......A confused but positive Neverthought...
I've done so many positive things the last two years that didn't involve drinking. I think my mind is leading me to believe I can control this. And I have kept things in moderation the past 3 days. But the bottom line is I don't need to do this and ultimately I'm here because I just want it gone from my life because of SR and the positive things I've experienced.
So, I don't know what I'm going to do differently Dee except remind myself that I can live without alcohol. I just need to take it to the next step and quit for good. I've had many 30+ plus days without. What keeps bringing me back?
Well, it doesn't hurt that it's every where and that's all people talk about at work. My boss tells me nearly every day how he's going to go home and have some scotch.
Maybe that is the problem. The constant reminder. The commercialization of this wicked stuff as well.
So, now that I've identified that It could be the constant reminder, Dee, anyone, please throw some suggestions my way please because I need something tangible to hang onto this time.
Thanks......A confused but positive Neverthought...
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
I'll address my remarks in a general way to everyone I think NT
Coming here when you feel vulnerable and before you drink is probably the most obvious suggestion.
If you feel SR is not enough support for you, do consider some of the recovery groups - most of them have online meeting options these days.
Counseling, seeing your DR and outpatient rehab programmes are other forms of support many use.
I'd also recommend looking at your life. Are there any changes you could make to make sobriety stick a little easier?
Especially at this time of year, ask yourself is this party really necessary?
Do I feel capable?
If you do go to a party, make sure you have a predetermined strategy to deal with the likely scenarios that may crop up....
people asking you to drink, people asking you why you're not drinking, thinking of ways to deal with those feelings of peer pressure, resentment, or rationalisations of that 'one drink' that we all seem to get in the early days
above all, have an escape plan - and use it when necessary
D
Coming here when you feel vulnerable and before you drink is probably the most obvious suggestion.
If you feel SR is not enough support for you, do consider some of the recovery groups - most of them have online meeting options these days.
Counseling, seeing your DR and outpatient rehab programmes are other forms of support many use.
I'd also recommend looking at your life. Are there any changes you could make to make sobriety stick a little easier?
Especially at this time of year, ask yourself is this party really necessary?
Do I feel capable?
If you do go to a party, make sure you have a predetermined strategy to deal with the likely scenarios that may crop up....
people asking you to drink, people asking you why you're not drinking, thinking of ways to deal with those feelings of peer pressure, resentment, or rationalisations of that 'one drink' that we all seem to get in the early days
above all, have an escape plan - and use it when necessary
D
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,131
Nice message Dee! You really covered all of the angles!
This will help me put a plan in motion to defuse my rationalizations, because I think that is all they are. Creating reasons base off of past history and of course, some sort of physical addiction.
Good day to all!
This will help me put a plan in motion to defuse my rationalizations, because I think that is all they are. Creating reasons base off of past history and of course, some sort of physical addiction.
Good day to all!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 40
Day 1, again - sigh.
What will I do differently this time? Well, I'll let the dust settle first, but the main reason I fell through this time was basically that I wanted to do meet people, do something outside family and work. My current plan is to sign up for some evening language course, once a week is enough. I'm kind of lost when it comes to just hanging out without drinking so I think an activity with some structure and purpose is better for me to fill that need. It'll be either arabic or korean.
I'm not hangover really but def. don't feel good. I guess that I had gotten so used feeling like this that I thought it was normal before. Can't wait for the next days to pass so that I can go back feeling like I did before this relapse.
What will I do differently this time? Well, I'll let the dust settle first, but the main reason I fell through this time was basically that I wanted to do meet people, do something outside family and work. My current plan is to sign up for some evening language course, once a week is enough. I'm kind of lost when it comes to just hanging out without drinking so I think an activity with some structure and purpose is better for me to fill that need. It'll be either arabic or korean.
I'm not hangover really but def. don't feel good. I guess that I had gotten so used feeling like this that I thought it was normal before. Can't wait for the next days to pass so that I can go back feeling like I did before this relapse.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Maybe you bit off too much too soon hkvik?
I took time all from any thing that was related to drinking.
to reintroduce myself to social things sober, I started simple..coffee dates, movies, picnics, sports
I got into volunteering too - thats a great way to connect with people again, and re-learn how to be sober and sociable
then you build up from there....
When I moved back into 'real' society again, I was sure I wanted to be sober, and nothing or noone would sway me
D
I took time all from any thing that was related to drinking.
to reintroduce myself to social things sober, I started simple..coffee dates, movies, picnics, sports
I got into volunteering too - thats a great way to connect with people again, and re-learn how to be sober and sociable
then you build up from there....
When I moved back into 'real' society again, I was sure I wanted to be sober, and nothing or noone would sway me
D
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
