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Class of October 2013 - Part 7

Old 12-14-2013, 03:05 PM
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I am heading to my husband's company party in about an hour. Again, there are a lot of big drinkers in his executive circle and I have always had a few glasses of wine with them. I have no desire/plans to drink. I told my husband that I am going to say that I have a big day of Christmas chores tomorrow, which I do. The progress here is that I think even a month ago, I would be in knots worrying about what everyone would think about me not drinking. I am really not that worried and I feel really relieved about not drinking. I would really pace myself at these events in the past, because our livelihood relies on it and then I would come home and plow into the wine bottles. Still, wish me luck!
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Old 12-14-2013, 03:11 PM
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I'm sure you'll be fine DD - have a good night
D
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Old 12-14-2013, 03:34 PM
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You can do it DD!
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Old 12-14-2013, 08:01 PM
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Hi, guys. Home again, home again, jiggety jig. So, I am in my happy place ~ completely sober. This is the first business party that I have ever done sober in my life and it is a complete eye opener. The people who were drunk really made fools of themselves and I now see how many people really don't drink a whole lot. I really liked feeling so in control the whole evening. My husband didn't drink either and he was commenting how nice it was to not have to question his actions or to feel nervous about driving. The best part is that not one person seemed to even notice if we were drinking or not ~ no one said or asked anything about it. (I had cranberry and lime and my husband had tonic and lime.) This evening was such a wonderful, positive experimental experience for me, guys. I can't believe that it has taken me half my life to "see the light."
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Old 12-14-2013, 11:49 PM
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DD, I absolutely loved reading about your experience at the work party. Sounds like a wonderful time! very inspiring.
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Old 12-15-2013, 04:09 AM
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DD, going to parties sober kind of grows on you. The high that I get after not drinking totally beats the horrible feeling the next day from drinking. Good for you for enjoying yourself and learning something in the process.

I have a holiday house party to attend tonight where alcohol will be in abundance. I'm in a pretty good place right now without alcohol on my mind.
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Old 12-15-2013, 04:24 AM
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Knew you would be fine, DD! Glad you are in a good place today Billr. Today is actually 2 months for me Funny, I always thought 60 days was the same as 2 months.....NOT....Feeling great, but still not in the holiday spirit. It is hard being away from friends and family at this time of year...(not that I miss all of the consumerism associated with the holidays...or the alcohol!)...or the drama that would inevitably happen with my addict daughter. Gonna try to "fake it til I make it" and maybe put up the artificial tree and some lights today. (Real trees are hard to find in Costa Rica, and I miss those too). Feeling a little "blue" this morning...
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Old 12-15-2013, 04:41 AM
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Originally Posted by trudgingagain View Post
Knew you would be fine, DD! Glad you are in a good place today Billr. Today is actually 2 months for me Funny, I always thought 60 days was the same as 2 months.....NOT....Feeling great, but still not in the holiday spirit. It is hard being away from friends and family at this time of year...(not that I miss all of the consumerism associated with the holidays...or the alcohol!)...or the drama that would inevitably happen with my addict daughter. Gonna try to "fake it til I make it" and maybe put up the artificial tree and some lights today. (Real trees are hard to find in Costa Rica, and I miss those too). Feeling a little "blue" this morning...
Trudging, I have been where you are at with being away from friends and family. I remember being in a hotel room on Christmas Eve 2003 in Italy with my wife and young kids. It was the first Christmas that we were ever away from our extended family and it felt surreal and a little depressing. We are now about 1,000 miles away from friends and family so I understand your feelings. Plus this warm weather sure doesn't make it feel like the Christmas season I am used to. It is absolutely weird to be wearing shorts on December 14th. People down here are so spoiled with the warm weather.
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Old 12-15-2013, 04:51 AM
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Yes, Bill....although I am from CA, where there is no snow at this time of year...it is still cold. I think that the weather in Fla. may be somewhat similar to Costa Rica....today, not a cloud in the sky, sunny and definitely beach weather!
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Old 12-15-2013, 05:12 AM
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Yeah, almost every day is beach weather down here. I will say that it does help with the winter cabin fever aspects of where I used to live. I lived in cold weather states all my life so I'm going to enjoy this new life with good weather and sobriety.
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Old 12-15-2013, 05:57 AM
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Okay, I am going to fess up now and let you in on two secrets. I live in the Clearwater Beach, FL area and tomorrow is my 43rd birthday. Trudging, Congrats on two months!! I know how weird Christmases are in tropical areas. I grew up in PA, went to college in VA and raised my babies in NC, so this is still new to me. (my third Christmas here) It is so funny to see people buying boots and sweaters. What?!? I think everyone misses the snow and cold on Christmas but that is about it! Trudging, your heart has to be aching with your daughter. Mine is with my mother. The holidays have always been an emotionally charged time for me. There usually always was a family drama, even as a child. One time my parents announced to my sister and I that they were getting divorced on Christmas Eve. I usually enjoy myself more around the times surrounding Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, than on the actual days. Luckily, I think my kids love Christmas, so I have been a good faker.
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Old 12-15-2013, 06:08 AM
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Cool, we are neighbors even though that is a good 4-5 hours away. We have friends that live Tampa and the whole area ice nice, and a lot quieter than down here. Funny but I also grew up in eastern Pennsylvania. The other day you mentioned that your parents live in one of the nicest beach towns. That was weird because my in laws also live in one of the nicest condo communities on the Atlantic coast. When I heard you were gathering the carts the other night while shopping, I pictured everyone wearing parkas and mittens.
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Old 12-15-2013, 06:21 AM
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I used to be so freaked out about being anonymous, but I have gotten to feeling really close to you guys, so I thought I would just "keep it real." I actually grew up in Pittsburgh, though, Bilr.
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Old 12-15-2013, 06:52 AM
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LOL, DD...it's funny how at first everything is such a big secret, but as we grow "comfortable in our own skin", it's not that big of a deal....And, yes, my heart is broken right about now...and the holidays certainly don't make it any easier....but, she is an adult and I have to accept that I have no control....hard...but, making some progress...
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Old 12-15-2013, 07:28 AM
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Trudging, I am with you as far as my daughter goes, she is with an mental abusive male. I tried to explain it to her but she refuses to see it. She said it was because I was always drunk and never seen the good in him. Everyone in my family, my ex husband (her dad) and her sister have been trying to tell her the same thing. But as you said it is beyond our control hard as it may be we have to let them learn from their own mistake. Yes I will miss her during Christmas time along with my g'daughter but in time she will see the light..

Good job DD on the Christmas party last night.
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Old 12-15-2013, 07:31 AM
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HD...sorry for you and your relationship with your daughter...I am learning not to blame myself...although she does...Although alcohol was involved and overused on some occasions, it is no excuse for her choices and subsequent consequences. I am learning to forgive myself and accept her, as well. ((hugs))
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Old 12-15-2013, 11:42 AM
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I just want to say that I am happy to be sober, my husband is proud of me even though he still drinks just on the weekends, I see him drinking less and less. I have also started to exercise every night. I am not one of the lucky one where the weight seems to fall off after stop drinking. Which I am saying is a blessing for I found something that is awesome for my body that is replacing the need for a drink..
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Old 12-15-2013, 02:10 PM
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Fishy's back.

'Tis been an up and down few weeks . . . lots of pressures/stresses. Not necessarily holidays-related, more a function of various academic calendars.

Anyway, I need to reconnect with y'all!

BTW, I heard last week that the first Christmas card (from sometime back in the 1800's) was criticized because it seemed to link Christmas with drinking! If true (and I've no reason to doubt it), then there are decades of inertia to overcome!

Glad I'm back,

Fishy
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Old 12-15-2013, 02:13 PM
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Welcome back, Fishy!
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Old 12-15-2013, 06:36 PM
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Hi, Fishy. Glad you're back!
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