Sobriety Limericks Part 5
waking down
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
Originally Posted by DG0409 
Poems about stank
Are just hard to thank
Words of the smell of sewer
May be too much for this viewer
Perhaps a topic less rank??
Are just hard to thank
Words of the smell of sewer
May be too much for this viewer
Perhaps a topic less rank??
But I didn't start it, you see
But that's no excuse
I'll write no more about the caboose
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Oregon
Posts: 4,252
Off color humor
Be it bathroom, or crude,
For me, it ofttimes makes a quite a score
Though many might think it possibly rude
It would simple be silly just to ignore,
When nothing else quite nails the mood.
Stink doesn't hurt or cause any sore
Embarrassing, sometimes, but not really lewd.
But fact of life. What could me more
Natural, is my attitude.
Be it bathroom, or crude,
For me, it ofttimes makes a quite a score
Though many might think it possibly rude
It would simple be silly just to ignore,
When nothing else quite nails the mood.
Stink doesn't hurt or cause any sore
Embarrassing, sometimes, but not really lewd.
But fact of life. What could me more
Natural, is my attitude.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Oregon
Posts: 4,252
It's Always Something
Now here's something gruesome. It's really quite gross,
A giant wart, you see, growing out the back of my hand.
All I can say, for God sake, at least it's not on my nose!
It's ugly and huge and it's growing, beat the band.
I went to the doctor, she said "Oh, how nasty"!
And liquid nitrogen she applied, quick, like a flash
That took care of that right now and hasty
Now the thing's swollen twice over, and looks much like hash.
Oh wurra, wurra ,wurra!
Now here's something gruesome. It's really quite gross,
A giant wart, you see, growing out the back of my hand.
All I can say, for God sake, at least it's not on my nose!
It's ugly and huge and it's growing, beat the band.
I went to the doctor, she said "Oh, how nasty"!
And liquid nitrogen she applied, quick, like a flash
That took care of that right now and hasty
Now the thing's swollen twice over, and looks much like hash.
Oh wurra, wurra ,wurra!
...not falling down them
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,200
I told my story at the rehab
On and on my story blabbed
To my surprise when I was done
Many responded, not just one
They had been where I once traveled
that caused my life to come unraveled
I no longer live that way
Clean and sober I will stay.
On and on my story blabbed
To my surprise when I was done
Many responded, not just one
They had been where I once traveled
that caused my life to come unraveled
I no longer live that way
Clean and sober I will stay.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Oregon
Posts: 4,252
Stairs, thank you for sharing that poem. I've sensed some very deep pain in you and I hope your sharing experience warmed your heart. Reading about your experience warmed mine. I don't seem to be very poetic right now but I wanted to tell you that.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
DG apologies my dear
Again with toilet humour here
Reducing all to level, base
Is my standby just in case
When I offend, please make it clear
For botty burps and panty pumps
Get me through a day with bumps
But my words are read by all
So on my mighty pen I fall
If I have given you the hump
Elsie your wart is quite a sight
Glowing from afar tonight
I have to say the witch in me
Is seething with great jealousy
I love to make small ones take fright!
Zero! South Park! Have you met..
..my favourite 'Loch Ness Monster' Yet?
Tree fidy that chefs dad pays
Made me split my girdle stays
I wouldn't want him as a pet!
MB you'd be a cute ice lolly
But to approach would be pure folly
Someone looking for a lick
More likely gets a boxers kick
And then they wouldn't feel so jolly!
Again with toilet humour here
Reducing all to level, base
Is my standby just in case
When I offend, please make it clear
For botty burps and panty pumps
Get me through a day with bumps
But my words are read by all
So on my mighty pen I fall
If I have given you the hump
Elsie your wart is quite a sight
Glowing from afar tonight
I have to say the witch in me
Is seething with great jealousy
I love to make small ones take fright!
Zero! South Park! Have you met..
..my favourite 'Loch Ness Monster' Yet?
Tree fidy that chefs dad pays
Made me split my girdle stays
I wouldn't want him as a pet!
MB you'd be a cute ice lolly
But to approach would be pure folly
Someone looking for a lick
More likely gets a boxers kick
And then they wouldn't feel so jolly!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Botty burps and panty pumps
In hysterics i do jump
For never do you fail a laugh
We are left with aftermath
I chuckle here , i snigger there
Toots no one does but compare
Yet i cant let you take the fall
Even tho it's only small
I'm glad we cover anything
That forthwith a smile does bring
But naughty girls at times we be
You make me laugh i almost pee
We shouldn't sweat the small stuff
So many things are off the cuff
I've learnt to have a belly laugh
Way better than a hangover barf
We've come far from where we were
Saddened broken disaster
But being able to laugh again
At some things we should refrain
But life is not all serious
Miserable , mysterious
We have come down from those shelves
And learnt to laugh at ourselves
In hysterics i do jump
For never do you fail a laugh
We are left with aftermath
I chuckle here , i snigger there
Toots no one does but compare
Yet i cant let you take the fall
Even tho it's only small
I'm glad we cover anything
That forthwith a smile does bring
But naughty girls at times we be
You make me laugh i almost pee
We shouldn't sweat the small stuff
So many things are off the cuff
I've learnt to have a belly laugh
Way better than a hangover barf
We've come far from where we were
Saddened broken disaster
But being able to laugh again
At some things we should refrain
But life is not all serious
Miserable , mysterious
We have come down from those shelves
And learnt to laugh at ourselves
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Hello sweet Ellse I've given thought
To this nasty vile wart
Hmmm I'm thinking i suppose
Thank god it wasn't on your nose
For we could paint it Ruby red
Help lead Santa on his sled
The reindeer say this wouldn't do
Your nose could be a beacon too
To this nasty vile wart
Hmmm I'm thinking i suppose
Thank god it wasn't on your nose
For we could paint it Ruby red
Help lead Santa on his sled
The reindeer say this wouldn't do
Your nose could be a beacon too
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Oregon
Posts: 4,252
This large, speckled wart is uglier than sin
Just the thing a creepy, old ogre would want
Where it came from I cannot even begin
To say. Just woke one day and it dared to flaunt
It's bumpy little head. It said "Count me in",
"With all your worries because this look like my newest haunt!"
Just the thing a creepy, old ogre would want
Where it came from I cannot even begin
To say. Just woke one day and it dared to flaunt
It's bumpy little head. It said "Count me in",
"With all your worries because this look like my newest haunt!"
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
A wart is a virus it's easily treated
Use milk of the thistle get that wart heated
Dry ice is the way to fix that invader
If that dosnt work try some things later
If it's the hpv its easy to catch
If you put your hands on an infected latch
So use your hand wash scrub it with care
Use i one with alcohol if you so dare
But these things now Else are easily fixed
So much confusion easily mixed
But no longer do we put up with these things
You can do anything make sure you use wings
:-) xxx.
Use milk of the thistle get that wart heated
Dry ice is the way to fix that invader
If that dosnt work try some things later
If it's the hpv its easy to catch
If you put your hands on an infected latch
So use your hand wash scrub it with care
Use i one with alcohol if you so dare
But these things now Else are easily fixed
So much confusion easily mixed
But no longer do we put up with these things
You can do anything make sure you use wings
:-) xxx.
...not falling down them
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,200
Originally Posted by Elseware
Stairs, thank you for sharing that poem. I've sensed some very deep pain in you and I hope your sharing experience warmed your heart. Reading about your experience warmed mine. I don't seem to be very poetic right now but I wanted to tell you that.
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