SoberMarathon

Well I think I just need to get out there and try again. The more I can get through those social situations, the easier it will get, I hope. This early sobriety stuff is tough. Although I've done 74 days, 50 days, etc, I guess that's nothing in the grand scheme of things, especially if I'm not getting tested. Flying to the US last week and not taking a drink during the flight was a test, especially sitting with my boss who drank 3 wines during the flight. Going to the UK later this week, again for work, will be a test - there's a few pubs over there! It's almost as though you need to pass these tests over and over again, but at the same time, try to avoid such risky situations altogether. It's going to be a battle for life and it's one I can't afford to lose.

DoubleDragons

SM, Below is a cut and paste from another thread by a poster called Melanoma. Since it had a reference to marathon running, thought this might inspire you:

Interesting thread! I've enjoyed all the posts and opinions. I was talking to my sister today and telling her that I've decided to quit drinking..again. I told her I'm more serious about it this time and I've joined a support group (sr). I told her I'm scared I'll fail by having a drink and what that would mean...it would mean I had a serious problem! She and I ran a marathon together a few yrs ago so today she used it for an analogy...when you set out to train for 26 miles it seems impossible (just like never drinking again) but you get a plan. You follow your training program-one day at a time. You train and focus on that run. Everything may go smoothly all the way to race day. But on the other hand you may miss a run bc you're sick. If you miss a run you don't say forget it I won't do the marathon. You get back on track where you left off and keep training. Your goal stays the same. You want to do the marathon. At the same time, you don't set out to skip runs..and half a** train.

Hope this makes sense. It encouraged me. My goal is no drinking! But somewhere down the road if I mess up, it doesn't mean throw the towel in or that I'm a failure. Good luck everyone!!

DoubleDragons

What is so hopeful to me, SM and CD, is that you guys came right back after your relapses! You certainly don't speak glowingly about your drinking experiences. This has helped me immensely. I know I will reflect on this the next time a big craving hits, so thank you!!

SoberMarathon

glad you can learn from our slips, DD. Just wish I could learn better from mine. I always tend to forget at some point down the road. So tired of that cycle. Binge, remorse, sobriety, healthy living, forget, binge, and repeat.

Now I'm about 24hrs since my last drink, maybe closer to 20. That makes November 26th my sobriety date...yippee. Sarcasm intended. Can't help but think about the damage done on my body from bingeing over the years. The fact that I can tolerate such binging less and less makes me feel like my body's telling me something. I hope that I can heal from this and live a healthy life from hear on out. That's all that really matters since without good health we don't have much.

countingdays

SM, you are not a wimp with no will power. Not to be dismal, but, statistically over 90 percent of people who try to get sober do not succeed the first time (or the second or third time for that matter). You'll get there

SoberMarathon

yep, I hope you're right. I have spent nearly 12 months trying to get this right, mostly sober the past 4-5mos. Wish I could have been one of those that just woke up one morning and quit for good on the first try. It's embarrassing to slip like I have. After today, I hope to just put this behind me and regroup and get it right. I've had a lot of sober time recently and I know how great that can feel. Likewise, my slips have all had similar endings and made me feel terrible. I know what I want in life and am determined to get there. Just need to kill off my bad habits, especially when I'm on the road.

Dee74

I tried for 15 years SM.
There are no grades in getting sober - first time or thousandth time, we're either sober ot not

I did have to do something different tho - I wanted to be on the down low - just be sober and not change anything about my life or relationships....

but in the end I accepted I had to make a lot of changes to my life cos frankly, my life was pretty much drink-sodden....

Apart from SR do you have any support?

D

SoberMarathon

Ok...one final post before trying to get some sleep. Jet lag plus alcohol withdrawal might be tough to get through. I hope this will be my last detox ever, I really really do. On Friday night when I started drinking beer I kept warning myself not to drink too much so as to avoid a binge and subsequent withdrawal. The addiction beat out the logic, I'm sad to say. Flipped through a lot of my old posts tonight. Amazing that my convictions are consistent, as are the relapses. Never drinking again, no chance. Gotta keep that mentality. It's all I can do...good night all.

SoberMarathon

My support is my wife, and two of my friends who live overseas. I've been to AA and it was ok but certainly less than ideal for me, mostly due to my location. Not many English groups meet where I live. So then I'm just using SR, often 1hr per day or more on days like today. Maybe I should talk to a Dr? Or maybe I should just learn to have will power and avoid it. I think you're right that I have to change some things cuz what I'm doing isn't working, on the road at least.

Dee74

I'm not pushing any method - I just think if you're finding it hard to stay sober more support could help

All the major recovery groups - AA SMART LifeRing - have an online presence and online meetings.

Rational Recovery/AVRT of course has no meetings at all.

If you think seeing your Dr to discuss your options will help, I'd definitely encourage you to do that too

In the end, tho, the key wasn't will power for me... but acceptance.

I had to accept my relationship with alcohol was, is, and always will be dysfunctional and toxic.

Once you accept that it places that decision to drink in a very different light, I think.

D

SoberMarathon

I think you're right Dee. Acceptance should be my priority, before everything else. I thought I had accepted that I'm an alcoholic but I've still slipped when faced with slippier situations.

From now I will accept that my relationship with booze is horrendous. I will also accept that traveling for me is very high-risk and i need to be more aware of this and prepared.

Time to forgive myself and get back on the sobriety train, permanently. I hope my recent follies can inspire others not to make similar mistakes.

free2Bsober13

This is my problem. By the time I've made up my mind to drink, I don't think want anyone to talk me out of it. The AV is throwing out all kinds of lies by that point, and I believe all of them until it's over. Then I'm disgusted. I have been feeling weak lately, but I try to remind myself how upset I will be afterwards. This works as long as I don't believe the lie of "I don't care" .

Dee74

It's a tough cycle to break but I think we have to try.

It's not very often we get totally ambushed and suddenly there's a drink in our hand...more often than not there's a build up, a sense of something is about to happen, or or some kind of warning...

I think it's those times when we need to act, rather than deliberate, and seek help.

D

InsaneHeart

Hi all. Just checking in to subscribe to the new thread. Still going strong

TempeBrenn

SM
Business meetings were the hardest for me. Drinking was expected, if not encouraged. Training for marathons provided a good reason not to drink, as well as excusing myself to my room for the evening early. It was difficult at first, because I was afraid coworkers would think me unfriendly or unsociable or worse yet, not like me. But I remembered how I liked feeling good in the morning and the others would either like me or not, whether I drank with them or not.

Also, dinner meetings... I spoke to the waiters ahead of time and had sparkling water poured into a champagne glass. Had them keep the glass full of Pelligrino or whatever.

Might not work for you, just thought I'd share.

Stay committed for your health, family, life. You're doing great by coming and posting here.

Bilr44

Happy early thanksgiving all. I'm at my in-laws a few hours up the coast and then heading up north to my parents on Friday for a long weekend. No drinking on the agenda as my in-laws aren't drinkers and my parents don't keep anything in the house. So, no temptations for the holiday.

SoberMarathon

Day 2 begins. I'm still alive but barely. Just a few hours sleep with sweats and shakes. Very busy next few days but I will remain close to SR. Talk soon.

SoberMarathon

Hi guys. Dragged myself into work today despite another terrible night of sweats and shakes. The worst must be behind me now. Getting my appetite back and starting to feel partly functional again. Man this drug can really kick my arse...it always wins when I entertain it.

More determined than ever now. I see that I'm at a crossroads in my life. If I can quit drinking for good, all will be fine. If not, things are going to start getting very bad at work and at home. Gotta get past this and be sober forever...I want that more than I want to drink so I don't know why it's been a continuing issue.

Acceptance...acceptance...acceptance. I keep telling myself that now...

DoubleDragons

I started with my self hypnosis to quit drinking last night. I actually downloaded it on to my ipod. It is by Dr. Jane Maati. It is weird, but they always are and at the very least it is relaxing, like meditation. I also ordered a CD off of Amazon by Barry Kornicov. He is the one that produced the CD that helped me lose weight. Fridays are when my cravings for alcohol typically hit, so that will be a good test to see if it works. Maybe self hypnosis may be something you would like to try, SM?

snipe

My last 3 relapses after months or years of sobriety were when traveling without friends or family with me. Now I avoid that whenever possible.

If I have to do so again for work, I will work very closely with my sponsor and the two people in my life who are most supportive of my sobriety to make a detailed plan that will include things like:

1. Bring and read literature daily
2. Read and POST to SR daily
3. Call my sponsor daily
4. Agree on a plan if cravings hit (e.g. eat an ice cream sundae)
5. Avoid being too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired (HALT)