One Year & Under Club Part 24
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
MB it is unsurprising that you are feeling flat after the maelstrom of emotions you have been through and are still negotiating. Allow yourself to feel sad, explore it, where is it coming from? What age do you feel? Is it the future or the past which is affecting you most? Neither of which you can influence at the moment. Just allow yourself to be.
Will be back again later or tomorrow, things getting busy again here. X
Will be back again later or tomorrow, things getting busy again here. X
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I'm procrastinating listening to a lecture. I have determined that 7pm is going to be my exercise time (I hate exercise like poison), so I have 1 hour and 15 minutes to just up and listen to the lecture.
I called my doctor today--she will probably call me back Thursday to set up an appointment (the office is closed Wednesday). I tried to take a nap today, but I couldn't--too stressed. I was told today that I had nothing to be stressed about--everybody helps me with everything, anyway. That just shows me how irrational I am--I must need a meds adjustment.
I called my doctor today--she will probably call me back Thursday to set up an appointment (the office is closed Wednesday). I tried to take a nap today, but I couldn't--too stressed. I was told today that I had nothing to be stressed about--everybody helps me with everything, anyway. That just shows me how irrational I am--I must need a meds adjustment.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I think I am causing unhappiness in the house today. I wonder if I'm being immature or overreacting just to be a drama queen. I honestly don't think so. Maybe I'm throwing off the whole universe just because I'm having a tough week? In many ways I have the softest, easiest life you can imagine. Why are a few parties too much to ask? Sorry to be so needy.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 88
Howdy Folks. This is a thread I had not noticed. Plus I like the shortform: UNDIES.
I am procrastinating in my studies and Job search. I tell ya, I just finished my 4th step, I know my problem with Fear of Failure is just a manifestation of my alcoholism; but it is still really difficult to get rid of your moral failings. I have to pray about it more, I guess.
Going to a Mens meeting soon. Hopefully the group helps.:-(
I am procrastinating in my studies and Job search. I tell ya, I just finished my 4th step, I know my problem with Fear of Failure is just a manifestation of my alcoholism; but it is still really difficult to get rid of your moral failings. I have to pray about it more, I guess.
Going to a Mens meeting soon. Hopefully the group helps.:-(
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Dudley,Uk
Posts: 1,704
Welcome badger....It's 00.00am here so that's the start of day 349 for me...I'm stuck on a 15 hour night shift so I still got another 7 hours to go....It's freezing cold here tonight and snow is forecast for us this week...That don't bother me too much as I love the winter any ways...
Gilmer keep ranting my friend...If it makes it any easier then get it all off ya chest..
Grace my bestie where are ya??? Missing ya loads xx
Hope everyone else is ticketyboo....
Take care....Steve.
Gilmer keep ranting my friend...If it makes it any easier then get it all off ya chest..
Grace my bestie where are ya??? Missing ya loads xx
Hope everyone else is ticketyboo....
Take care....Steve.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Thanks, Stevie. I just finished my exercise, just like I said I would, and I feel better about life. Maybe it's true what they say about exercise chasing away depression! Anyway, you're a great exercise inspiration, too. Thanks for giving me the OK to rant! Sometimes ya just need it.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
After I exercised I also thought of a missing piece of the puzzle to tell my husband. I think that helped his understanding of the situation a lot--I don't feel the need to pull the rug out from under everything, and he could come to some agreement because he is feeling a bit overrun, too. It's very nice that people come to our house and have a good time!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Toots hope you had fun in Oxford today! Buy anything fun?
MB hope tomorrow's a better day for you.
Carlos great post!
Feeling tired today. Had an insane headache from about midnight all thru out the day today. I didn't sleep well at all!! Then of corse cravings came around. I hate these drinking thoughts but I will go to sleep sober tonight
MB hope tomorrow's a better day for you.
Carlos great post!
Feeling tired today. Had an insane headache from about midnight all thru out the day today. I didn't sleep well at all!! Then of corse cravings came around. I hate these drinking thoughts but I will go to sleep sober tonight
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
Gilmer, vent away here -- sometimes writing about worries & stress helps you put negative feelings in perspective.
MB -- I'm sorry you're so down! I don't know a lot about your story but from what I've seen, you have a huge amount of tenacity and a thoughtful, sensitive, caring personality. Whatever demons are disturbing you -- they really can't hurt you unless you let them trick you into drinking, drugging, or harming yourself. Just ride through the pain instead of letting it control you.
Aside: Here's another of my annoying personal questions: Has anyone besides me experienced 100% natural childbirth? Now that's a lot of pain to ride through!
Sometimes I think the biggest lie the AV tells is to convince us that we're not as strong as we really are.
BF, sleep well.
Stevie & Soberjim, good to hear from you!
Toots, hope you're having great fun!
Badger, welcome!
Dorothy, congrats on finishing the LBJ piece. I'm sure you're being under-paid, but I'll bet it feels good to be getting your hands on some work anyway, no? But I hope you get to the union rate soon!
Re: the "non-sponsor thingy" it's going well, I think. I actually had coffee this a.m. with my former sponsor, who was in a better frame of mind about my decision but she wanted to know if she'd been too pushy or otherwise turned me off. Which she hadn't -- she probably kept me following the steps longer than I would have persisted without her. I'll go to my home group tomorrow, and might even tell the people there what approach I'm taking. Some will disapprove, but others have told me privately that it's good for newcomers to hear that not everyone is 100% "on program", and that some of us are still staying sober one day at a time without following the steps or all the suggestions.
Carlos, hope you're getting some rest and have family and support around you.
MB -- I'm sorry you're so down! I don't know a lot about your story but from what I've seen, you have a huge amount of tenacity and a thoughtful, sensitive, caring personality. Whatever demons are disturbing you -- they really can't hurt you unless you let them trick you into drinking, drugging, or harming yourself. Just ride through the pain instead of letting it control you.
Aside: Here's another of my annoying personal questions: Has anyone besides me experienced 100% natural childbirth? Now that's a lot of pain to ride through!
Sometimes I think the biggest lie the AV tells is to convince us that we're not as strong as we really are. BF, sleep well.
Stevie & Soberjim, good to hear from you!
Toots, hope you're having great fun!
Badger, welcome!
Dorothy, congrats on finishing the LBJ piece. I'm sure you're being under-paid, but I'll bet it feels good to be getting your hands on some work anyway, no? But I hope you get to the union rate soon!
Re: the "non-sponsor thingy" it's going well, I think. I actually had coffee this a.m. with my former sponsor, who was in a better frame of mind about my decision but she wanted to know if she'd been too pushy or otherwise turned me off. Which she hadn't -- she probably kept me following the steps longer than I would have persisted without her. I'll go to my home group tomorrow, and might even tell the people there what approach I'm taking. Some will disapprove, but others have told me privately that it's good for newcomers to hear that not everyone is 100% "on program", and that some of us are still staying sober one day at a time without following the steps or all the suggestions.
Carlos, hope you're getting some rest and have family and support around you.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
Hi guys, welcome Badger, always room for one more here!
Gilmer, vent away. I get the feeling from what you write ( and feel free to slap me down if I am way off base ) that you are far more introverted than your husband, and that while it is nice to have guests, you find always being 'on show' very stressful. I also wonder, are you a people pleaser, find yourself saying yes to things you would chose not to, if indeed the choice was your own to make? I imagine alcohol would have deadened your resentment at being put in positions you would chose to avoid, and now without alcohol, it is bubbling away and you are struggling to keep it in. As I said if I am wrong feel free to take me out to the back and shoot me ( or less drastically press your ignore button!!)
BF I had a lovely time in Oxford, walking those college paths that some of the most inquiring minds of the last 800 years have walked. I had hoped to absorb some intelligence by osmosis, but er I fink er it dint work! I also bought some more work out clothes ( I know how to live!). There is a gym near our next hotel which I may well use today. That said I am so tired, I can never sleep well in hotel beds, averaging about 4 hours a night, so 2 more nights before I get tom my own bed, I figure I need to sleep the entire weekend to catch up! Have you had your headaches checked out? They sound grim. Are you drinking enough fluids? Dehydration can cause headaches, and when did you last see the optometrist? ( did I just turn into your mom?)
Gilmer, I too hate exercise. I fact I hate my genes. My mums side of the family are all tall blonde and blue eyed, with nary a spare ounce. My dads side, short squat constantly fighting the battle of the bulge, can you guess who I take after??? Other than the blue eyes woopdeedoo!!! So exercise it is if I don't want to look like a cube.
Courage, I'm glad you are managing well without your sponsor, and more importantly that she is beginning to see it isn't a spiral to that dark place too!
Steve, you are sounding more yourself, what do you like about winter?
SJ,how are you feeling now?
MB stay strong.
Dotty, in an ideal world people of many walks would be valued higher. I worked in the care industry for years, and always feel it wrong that those we entrust with looking after the physical and emotional care of the most vulnerable members of society get paid minimum wage. Hopefully. Your work will be recognised and a higher rate considered.
Grace time for a check in sweetie,
We seem to be missing a few others, Tanja, I hope all is well with you?
Be strong be safe be sober
Gilmer, vent away. I get the feeling from what you write ( and feel free to slap me down if I am way off base ) that you are far more introverted than your husband, and that while it is nice to have guests, you find always being 'on show' very stressful. I also wonder, are you a people pleaser, find yourself saying yes to things you would chose not to, if indeed the choice was your own to make? I imagine alcohol would have deadened your resentment at being put in positions you would chose to avoid, and now without alcohol, it is bubbling away and you are struggling to keep it in. As I said if I am wrong feel free to take me out to the back and shoot me ( or less drastically press your ignore button!!)
BF I had a lovely time in Oxford, walking those college paths that some of the most inquiring minds of the last 800 years have walked. I had hoped to absorb some intelligence by osmosis, but er I fink er it dint work! I also bought some more work out clothes ( I know how to live!). There is a gym near our next hotel which I may well use today. That said I am so tired, I can never sleep well in hotel beds, averaging about 4 hours a night, so 2 more nights before I get tom my own bed, I figure I need to sleep the entire weekend to catch up! Have you had your headaches checked out? They sound grim. Are you drinking enough fluids? Dehydration can cause headaches, and when did you last see the optometrist? ( did I just turn into your mom?)
Gilmer, I too hate exercise. I fact I hate my genes. My mums side of the family are all tall blonde and blue eyed, with nary a spare ounce. My dads side, short squat constantly fighting the battle of the bulge, can you guess who I take after??? Other than the blue eyes woopdeedoo!!! So exercise it is if I don't want to look like a cube.
Courage, I'm glad you are managing well without your sponsor, and more importantly that she is beginning to see it isn't a spiral to that dark place too!
Steve, you are sounding more yourself, what do you like about winter?
SJ,how are you feeling now?
MB stay strong.
Dotty, in an ideal world people of many walks would be valued higher. I worked in the care industry for years, and always feel it wrong that those we entrust with looking after the physical and emotional care of the most vulnerable members of society get paid minimum wage. Hopefully. Your work will be recognised and a higher rate considered.
Grace time for a check in sweetie,
We seem to be missing a few others, Tanja, I hope all is well with you?
Be strong be safe be sober
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
Hi Undies,
Well, life is certainly one day at a time for me. I do plan for the future...avoid planning the outcome though.
As I've been pretty knee deep in my addiction these past few years, any decent vacation away has escaped me. So, perhaps over my birthday in late January I will go away. Sun, sand and golf.
Just thinking about that possibility has me doing the "walk like an egyptian" while listening to that tune by the bangles on one of my playlists.
So, on the lighter side...one of my old classmates from 6th grade posted the below pic on facebook a few days ago. I'm second row from bottom 4th in, with the big ears. My first heartthrob, the blonde two rows above to my slight left. She had it all goin on (if you SEE what I mean)! Look at all those smiles...that kinda struck me.
HAPPY 15 MONTHS DEAR Over-Undie, GRACIE!!!! (one day belated)
Have a great day, all. Oh, don't drink, okay?
Carlos xx
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...1&d=1384947375
Well, life is certainly one day at a time for me. I do plan for the future...avoid planning the outcome though.
As I've been pretty knee deep in my addiction these past few years, any decent vacation away has escaped me. So, perhaps over my birthday in late January I will go away. Sun, sand and golf.
Just thinking about that possibility has me doing the "walk like an egyptian" while listening to that tune by the bangles on one of my playlists.
So, on the lighter side...one of my old classmates from 6th grade posted the below pic on facebook a few days ago. I'm second row from bottom 4th in, with the big ears. My first heartthrob, the blonde two rows above to my slight left. She had it all goin on (if you SEE what I mean)! Look at all those smiles...that kinda struck me.
HAPPY 15 MONTHS DEAR Over-Undie, GRACIE!!!! (one day belated)
Have a great day, all. Oh, don't drink, okay?
Carlos xx
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...1&d=1384947375
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
Carlos, I love the picture. You look like a fine fella! Thanks, and I'm glad to hear that you're allowing yourself some time to look forward to, in the midst of all your troubles.
Toots, your trip sounds wonderful but I understand about not sleeping in hotels -- I'm still like that but it was way worse when I was drinking. Rest up well when you get home!
I just had to post this a.m. to write something I realized. For the first time in many years, I'm neither hiding nor pretending. I don't fake better or different than I am, and I don't lead multiple separate, carefully compartmentalized lives. At one other time in my life, I clearly remember feeling this way. It was when my son was born. Coincidentally, I was (briefly) sober then.
Have a great day, Undies!
Toots, your trip sounds wonderful but I understand about not sleeping in hotels -- I'm still like that but it was way worse when I was drinking. Rest up well when you get home!
I just had to post this a.m. to write something I realized. For the first time in many years, I'm neither hiding nor pretending. I don't fake better or different than I am, and I don't lead multiple separate, carefully compartmentalized lives. At one other time in my life, I clearly remember feeling this way. It was when my son was born. Coincidentally, I was (briefly) sober then.
Have a great day, Undies!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
Good morning Undies.
Carlos: that is a nice picture. Oh lord, my class pictures are scary. ha ha
Things are going ok here---just a few ups and downs but, I have been doing
a lot of walking and that really seems to help. that AV has been on my shoulder
a lot too but, I guess that's part of the battle. Anyway, everyone---have a great day.
Babs
Carlos: that is a nice picture. Oh lord, my class pictures are scary. ha ha
Things are going ok here---just a few ups and downs but, I have been doing
a lot of walking and that really seems to help. that AV has been on my shoulder
a lot too but, I guess that's part of the battle. Anyway, everyone---have a great day.
Babs
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: North. Where it snows.
Posts: 702
Courage, you gave me shivers. What an amazing realisation! I guess that I'm starting to feeling like that too. HUm...
Just popping in quickly. Toots, you,re right, looks like some of the gang is missing, Drake and DG, and Gracie and Tanya...We know Drake was usy writing the article, Grace is busy with little O. Tanya with her Simba and DG with Life.
Gillmer, it does sound like a case of saying yes to things we absolutely don't really want to do... I suffer from that too and then I get all passive aggressive and use another silly even to pick a fight. Striving to be like Courage - no better, no different, no worse - is I think a healthy behaviour to have, even if we may at first appear more ruthless.
MB, don't stay too long in the dark. When all is bleak and sad in our lives, we're all we've got, we are our own assets so we can't give up on ourselves, on life, ...OK maybe a duvet day or 2 but no more I say!
This advice applies to me today as the preceding days have taken their toll. I will perhaps allow myself a duvet crying day, but a good one, not too too depressing.
I'll check in later tonight dear undies.
D.
PS: Graace, 1 year and 3 months ! Congratulations.
Just popping in quickly. Toots, you,re right, looks like some of the gang is missing, Drake and DG, and Gracie and Tanya...We know Drake was usy writing the article, Grace is busy with little O. Tanya with her Simba and DG with Life.
Gillmer, it does sound like a case of saying yes to things we absolutely don't really want to do...
I suffer from that too and then I get all passive aggressive and use another silly even to pick a fight. Striving to be like Courage - no better, no different, no worse - is I think a healthy behaviour to have, even if we may at first appear more ruthless.MB, don't stay too long in the dark. When all is bleak and sad in our lives, we're all we've got, we are our own assets so we can't give up on ourselves, on life, ...OK maybe a duvet day or 2 but no more I say!
This advice applies to me today as the preceding days have taken their toll. I will perhaps allow myself a duvet crying day, but a good one, not too too depressing.
I'll check in later tonight dear undies.
D.
PS: Graace, 1 year and 3 months ! Congratulations.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Carlos, that's a great picture. I defaced all my elementary school pictures: when I was a little kid I "hated" boys--the better I liked them, the harder I teased them and was a plague to them (I wasn't a bully--I only teased the bigmouths, or my special witty favorites). I took a pen to my class pictures and drew Frankenstein scars and bulging eyeballs all over the ones I "hated" most!
Yes, I do people please--I hate confrontation, and I have always chosen the path of least resistance, only to get all passive aggressive later and do something juvenile like drink.
Courage, I had the distinct good fortune of having had all five C-sections--but I watched my daughter go through the all-natural birth of my granddaughter. I sat transfixed with my jaw dropped open, munching cheeto after cheeto. My other daughter caught me on film!
Congratulations to Grace and Carlotta on big milestones!
Yes, I do people please--I hate confrontation, and I have always chosen the path of least resistance, only to get all passive aggressive later and do something juvenile like drink.
Courage, I had the distinct good fortune of having had all five C-sections--but I watched my daughter go through the all-natural birth of my granddaughter. I sat transfixed with my jaw dropped open, munching cheeto after cheeto. My other daughter caught me on film!
Congratulations to Grace and Carlotta on big milestones!
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Hello everyone. I'm still around, was just sticking close to the September class for awhile.
Carlos, awesome picture and weren't you adorable! But then who wasn't at that age?
Someone I once knew when I was about 5 and hadn't seen since posted a photo of me and him on Facebook recently and it was such a treat. My reaction on seeing it was, "Hey, I remember that!" Instant memories I hadn't remembered in almost 50 years.
Taking it one day at a time, day by day. That's about all I can handle, but I've come to realize that spiritual development is going to be the way for me to go. It worked for me before in the form of practising the 12 Steps and I know it will work again if I use it.
Congratulations to you, Grace!
Carlos, awesome picture and weren't you adorable! But then who wasn't at that age?
Someone I once knew when I was about 5 and hadn't seen since posted a photo of me and him on Facebook recently and it was such a treat. My reaction on seeing it was, "Hey, I remember that!" Instant memories I hadn't remembered in almost 50 years.
Taking it one day at a time, day by day. That's about all I can handle, but I've come to realize that spiritual development is going to be the way for me to go. It worked for me before in the form of practising the 12 Steps and I know it will work again if I use it.
Congratulations to you, Grace!
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Undies.
Thank you so much for you support, kind word and great advice.
You are literally keeping me afloat. I feel so low that I barely function. Can't bring my faith back to live.
My best wishes to all.
See you)
Thank you so much for you support, kind word and great advice.
You are literally keeping me afloat. I feel so low that I barely function. Can't bring my faith back to live.
My best wishes to all.
See you)
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