Class of March 2013 - Part 20
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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Class of March 2013 - Part 20
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Good morning Marchers. MeSo it's so good to have you back. Babs and North good to see you guys too.
I've had a horrible night's sleep, last night I crashed the host server of a forum I volunteer on, I accidentally mass moved some files. I couldn't sleep, I woke up sick in the stomach -- I've put processes in place with a specialist to recover things but I feel so bad about it. But I didn't drink. I hate that I let other people down. Sorry to whinge but at the moment it's filling my head.
Have a good sober day peeps.
I've had a horrible night's sleep, last night I crashed the host server of a forum I volunteer on, I accidentally mass moved some files. I couldn't sleep, I woke up sick in the stomach -- I've put processes in place with a specialist to recover things but I feel so bad about it. But I didn't drink. I hate that I let other people down. Sorry to whinge but at the moment it's filling my head.
Have a good sober day peeps.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
haha, you guys are the bestest!!! :-)
sas, I thought about what you said about my humor (or in English, humour) coming out. been feeling a little different lately, definitely better. always been a goofball, but I think years of either drinking or recovering from a drunk or obsessing over my next opportunity to drink dimmed my goofiness a lot. i feel like i'm in a really good place at the moment (although also affected by SAD), and perhaps it shows. SO NOW YOU ARE ALL STUCK WITH GOOFY WEHAV!!! BWAHAHAHAHAAAA! :-)
mesoso, welcome back! i just joined the marchers a few months ago myself because when the February thread was in a lull, and I fell in love with this group so been sticking around. good to meet you! you sound pretty ready to quit drinking for good. what an amazing discovery. you can do this, it gets easier after a while as you know from having 5 months before. this group is awesome!
oh marcher, sorry you had a rough night. everyone makes mistakes. even me ;-). you are doing everything right to fix it. so all you need to do now is forgive yourself and get some rest.
will get a foster the huskador pic on here again in the near future, duffster!
ok, bad joke du jour coming right up! who is a pirate's favorite fashion designer? AAAAARmani!
sas, I thought about what you said about my humor (or in English, humour) coming out. been feeling a little different lately, definitely better. always been a goofball, but I think years of either drinking or recovering from a drunk or obsessing over my next opportunity to drink dimmed my goofiness a lot. i feel like i'm in a really good place at the moment (although also affected by SAD), and perhaps it shows. SO NOW YOU ARE ALL STUCK WITH GOOFY WEHAV!!! BWAHAHAHAHAAAA! :-)
mesoso, welcome back! i just joined the marchers a few months ago myself because when the February thread was in a lull, and I fell in love with this group so been sticking around. good to meet you! you sound pretty ready to quit drinking for good. what an amazing discovery. you can do this, it gets easier after a while as you know from having 5 months before. this group is awesome!
oh marcher, sorry you had a rough night. everyone makes mistakes. even me ;-). you are doing everything right to fix it. so all you need to do now is forgive yourself and get some rest.
will get a foster the huskador pic on here again in the near future, duffster!
ok, bad joke du jour coming right up! who is a pirate's favorite fashion designer? AAAAARmani!
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 891
Welcome back MeSo.
I'm as flat as a pancake but here are a couple of jokes that I like to dine out on:
What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?
Nacho Cheese
What do you call an arabian wind cleaner?
Sheik ma Shammie ( not sure if Shammy is a Scottish term so some of you may need to google it.
It's 17:55, there's a beginners AA meeting at 7pm, close to where I live. All my talking, yet i've still never been. As you've prob assumed by now and rightly so, I slipped again. I have lied all day today. Pretending i'm at places i'm not. Pretending i've done things I haven't. Pretending I haven't received scanned files. Pretending i'm working late as a potential client doesn't want to receive a phone call until 7pm. I've spoken to my boss 3 times today, prob another two times via email. He's asked me to log the length of the imaginary call to my imaginary client tonight to ensure they either pay me or give me time in lieu!!!!!! Meanwhile i'm still in my pyjamas.
Lying is exhausting. Some of you may remember a while back that a frien(ex colleague) took his own life. I met up with a very close friend of him on Sunday for Brunch. Inevitably we started talking about B. The path, the cycle, the lies, the isolation, the singular loss of friends she spoke about.........it was all just a male version of me. It was ringing in my ears, instead of taking it into account, absorbing and carrying on with my journey of moving forward, I headed straight to the bottle shop.
Even now I want to do that as I type but I won't. I will go to this meeting tonight, I hope, for both the bank managers and my own sake it will be the final wake up. If it doesn't happen soon, i'll end up like B because I can't keep this going much longer.
I'm sorry Marchers for such a negative post. JG, you esp. I should have emailed you days ago but i've been just caught up in my own little ugly bubble. I hope things are as well as the can be re Mum/Mom. Other fellow Marchers, please don't be to despondent, I really am determined to fight and win this battle. To quote Arnold,...... "i'll be back".
I'm as flat as a pancake but here are a couple of jokes that I like to dine out on:
What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?
Nacho Cheese
What do you call an arabian wind cleaner?
Sheik ma Shammie ( not sure if Shammy is a Scottish term so some of you may need to google it.
It's 17:55, there's a beginners AA meeting at 7pm, close to where I live. All my talking, yet i've still never been. As you've prob assumed by now and rightly so, I slipped again. I have lied all day today. Pretending i'm at places i'm not. Pretending i've done things I haven't. Pretending I haven't received scanned files. Pretending i'm working late as a potential client doesn't want to receive a phone call until 7pm. I've spoken to my boss 3 times today, prob another two times via email. He's asked me to log the length of the imaginary call to my imaginary client tonight to ensure they either pay me or give me time in lieu!!!!!! Meanwhile i'm still in my pyjamas.
Lying is exhausting. Some of you may remember a while back that a frien(ex colleague) took his own life. I met up with a very close friend of him on Sunday for Brunch. Inevitably we started talking about B. The path, the cycle, the lies, the isolation, the singular loss of friends she spoke about.........it was all just a male version of me. It was ringing in my ears, instead of taking it into account, absorbing and carrying on with my journey of moving forward, I headed straight to the bottle shop.
Even now I want to do that as I type but I won't. I will go to this meeting tonight, I hope, for both the bank managers and my own sake it will be the final wake up. If it doesn't happen soon, i'll end up like B because I can't keep this going much longer.
I'm sorry Marchers for such a negative post. JG, you esp. I should have emailed you days ago but i've been just caught up in my own little ugly bubble. I hope things are as well as the can be re Mum/Mom. Other fellow Marchers, please don't be to despondent, I really am determined to fight and win this battle. To quote Arnold,...... "i'll be back".
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
sounds exhausting Lifet.
I have no doubt you can get out of this hole called addiction, but I reckon you need a plan of action...and the will to follow it through?
start climbing my friend
D
I have no doubt you can get out of this hole called addiction, but I reckon you need a plan of action...and the will to follow it through?
start climbing my friend
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,133
Hi Lifetplant!
I kicked off yesterday and today with texted lies as to why I couldn't come in. It's so shameful and the feeling that they know you're of crap doesn't help. And then you go back in you feel like hiding. There's a whole lot of lying in my work history. It got ridiculous. I am tired of talking about how shameful my actions are. I need to stop DOING things that are shameful in the first place.
So let's you and me team up and vow never to do that again and henceforth be model employees! :-)
I am righting my ship now as well and increasingly feeling like it's now do or die. We're in this together my friend--let's do it. Hugs to you!
I kicked off yesterday and today with texted lies as to why I couldn't come in. It's so shameful and the feeling that they know you're of crap doesn't help. And then you go back in you feel like hiding. There's a whole lot of lying in my work history. It got ridiculous. I am tired of talking about how shameful my actions are. I need to stop DOING things that are shameful in the first place.
So let's you and me team up and vow never to do that again and henceforth be model employees! :-)
I am righting my ship now as well and increasingly feeling like it's now do or die. We're in this together my friend--let's do it. Hugs to you!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Accidents happen Marcher, even to the best of us
I'm sure everything will work out ok
D
I'm sure everything will work out ok
D
Life I'm glad you posted and I'm glad you're being open with us. Sadness seems to be a big trigger for you, maybe think about that.
ETA Maybe I'm thick but I'm starting to realise that stoping drinking is just the beginning, what this recovery is all about is learning to be ourselves and coping with life while being ourselves.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
Hi guys, just a quick drop in as I am getting ready for work.
Life, you know from living in Glasgow the total destruction of the addiction. You have the intelligence and strength to get away from it. What you have lacked is the desire to never, ever drink again. If you can switch that on, I KNOW you will succeed. It took me forever to believe I could live without alcohol, I know now that I can. Unbelievably, once you let it go, you don't even miss it as badly as you thought you would. You need to find another 'go to' guy in your time of trouble, and AA could well give you that. Please sweetie promise to go as many times as you can over the next week? Xx
Mesoso, Chuff Duff and Babs, complacency is really the only long term weapon AV can use. Once you are away from of the addiction and the habit, it is all it has left to fight with. You can never stop being vigilant. If you think you can, look at the posts from newbies coming back after having been sober for 10,20 years and thought they could moderate. Get the next few weeks under your belts and start looking at long term plans for maintaining recovery.
Marcher, I am glad Dee is in your time zone honey, you needed to hear that. You are not superhuman, and I know how hard you have taken it that your mistake has impinged on others. But you can forgive yourself, and the silver lining is that it brought forward another sober awakening.
Sass, you get to be Ma Clampett this thread! Yay! Pass the possum stew!
Wehav, there appears to be a nautical theme to your bad jokes? I am a lover of what I call Christmas cracker jokes, the sort that make you groan rather than chortle, but my favourite ever is just plain silly; Q what do you get when you cross an elephant with a peanut butter sandwich? A , a peanut butter sandwich that never forgets, or an elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth!! Lol
Ok late for work now peeps hi Budd DD 1day and everyone else. cheery!
Life, you know from living in Glasgow the total destruction of the addiction. You have the intelligence and strength to get away from it. What you have lacked is the desire to never, ever drink again. If you can switch that on, I KNOW you will succeed. It took me forever to believe I could live without alcohol, I know now that I can. Unbelievably, once you let it go, you don't even miss it as badly as you thought you would. You need to find another 'go to' guy in your time of trouble, and AA could well give you that. Please sweetie promise to go as many times as you can over the next week? Xx
Mesoso, Chuff Duff and Babs, complacency is really the only long term weapon AV can use. Once you are away from of the addiction and the habit, it is all it has left to fight with. You can never stop being vigilant. If you think you can, look at the posts from newbies coming back after having been sober for 10,20 years and thought they could moderate. Get the next few weeks under your belts and start looking at long term plans for maintaining recovery.
Marcher, I am glad Dee is in your time zone honey, you needed to hear that. You are not superhuman, and I know how hard you have taken it that your mistake has impinged on others. But you can forgive yourself, and the silver lining is that it brought forward another sober awakening.
Sass, you get to be Ma Clampett this thread! Yay! Pass the possum stew!
Wehav, there appears to be a nautical theme to your bad jokes? I am a lover of what I call Christmas cracker jokes, the sort that make you groan rather than chortle, but my favourite ever is just plain silly; Q what do you get when you cross an elephant with a peanut butter sandwich? A , a peanut butter sandwich that never forgets, or an elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth!! Lol
Ok late for work now peeps hi Budd DD 1day and everyone else. cheery!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Good morning, Marchers!
Just a quick one today! I'm staying on the sober wagon. I'm one of those folks Toots referred to who had several years long spells of being sober. Quitting doesn't get easier so you're better off doing it now and developing plans to keep you safe. In the past I just "did it" and that wasn't enough to keep it that way for the long haul.
Just a quick one today! I'm staying on the sober wagon. I'm one of those folks Toots referred to who had several years long spells of being sober. Quitting doesn't get easier so you're better off doing it now and developing plans to keep you safe. In the past I just "did it" and that wasn't enough to keep it that way for the long haul.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
Oh Life! So proud of you for coming here and for being honest with us. Something I could not do while I relapsed. And that is why I know you can conquer this! I remember the lying all to well and it really is draining and exhausting -- I do not miss it.
This coming weekend has really highlighted that for me ... the lying and the hiding and the pretending to be someone I'm not. If I were drinking right now I'd be scheming as to how I could drink while I was watching another child. Making sure it appeared I was "sipping" one glass of wine while sneaking into the kitchen when no one was looking to refill the glass. Or sneaking a bottle into the bathroom or somewhere else private. And then all the effort that goes into trying to appear sober when you're drunk off your a** (which never ever ever fools anyone).
I've done plenty of lying to cover up at work over the years -- but this is a whole new level of shame I'm not sure how I could live with. I've thought a lot about it this week because I'll be totally honest -- those thoughts are showing up in my head ... out of years of habit, I hope? Because I know I won't drink but it's there - in the back of my mind..."you can get away with it..."
These parents are trusting me with their most precious thing in life --- and they have no idea the thoughts running through my head, or my past, or my problem .... I'm like a bad lifetime movie -- the perfect PTO mom with a shameful secret...
Alright Life and MeSo, no more lying for any of us!!!! I know you two can do it and I know I can too. And I'll be here everyday...thank you, my friends! For accepting me for the not so perfect alcoholic that I am...
This coming weekend has really highlighted that for me ... the lying and the hiding and the pretending to be someone I'm not. If I were drinking right now I'd be scheming as to how I could drink while I was watching another child. Making sure it appeared I was "sipping" one glass of wine while sneaking into the kitchen when no one was looking to refill the glass. Or sneaking a bottle into the bathroom or somewhere else private. And then all the effort that goes into trying to appear sober when you're drunk off your a** (which never ever ever fools anyone).
I've done plenty of lying to cover up at work over the years -- but this is a whole new level of shame I'm not sure how I could live with. I've thought a lot about it this week because I'll be totally honest -- those thoughts are showing up in my head ... out of years of habit, I hope? Because I know I won't drink but it's there - in the back of my mind..."you can get away with it..."
These parents are trusting me with their most precious thing in life --- and they have no idea the thoughts running through my head, or my past, or my problem .... I'm like a bad lifetime movie -- the perfect PTO mom with a shameful secret...
Alright Life and MeSo, no more lying for any of us!!!! I know you two can do it and I know I can too. And I'll be here everyday...thank you, my friends! For accepting me for the not so perfect alcoholic that I am...
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