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Class of March 2013 - Part 20

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Old 12-04-2013, 01:28 PM
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Duff you are sounding well and the boys must be enjoying their sober mom!

Wehav - I completely get it. All this going on also means "place to myself!" Boy when I was home alone back in the day...let's just say I called in sick to work because I was hung over, then I would drink to feel better, then I would feel good, then I would pass out, then I would be hung over, spin, repeat. Good for you for not strolling down the wine aisle.

Marcher, keep posting the weather reports from your parts. It reminds me that spring follows winter. You sound good, buddy.

Toots, you could spend your time studying up on the New England Patriots. Great team and you will make friends easily if you wear their gear once you're in Boston.

Sassy, thanks for the tips.



Shoes - you are sounding good and busy, which is good.

Babs - good on you, my friend.

Gilmer, Bud, Dee, Life, hoping all is well.

DD, I'm thinking you'll get the all-clear on the liver, a good thing. I'm afraid of having tests done. Last catscan (to see if my cancer had come back - hasn't, still in remission), they noted a layer of fat on the liver. Ugh.

Mick, buddy, where are you these days?

To help with the winter blues I re-read our Marcher thread from the beginning. Hoping that a lot of the folks who don't post anymore have moved to other threads or are otherwise finding what they need to stay sober.

Thanks for being my buds. More shoveling today and dog walking. It really helps to be outside and doing something physical. (Dogs are exhausted, though).
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Old 12-04-2013, 02:08 PM
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Gilmer - as a veteran of major surgery, I hear ya

North - liver is looking fine. I just need to get some blood tests in the next 6 months to make sure my levels are ok. The liver is a very resilient organ. It's the only one that can regenerate on its own.

It's good you're going back to the beginning and reading the struggles of those first few weeks/months. I hate to be a downer, but the truth is, most of the people who don't post anymore are still drinking or not with us. That's just the way the cookie crumbles. But the important thing is that you're still here. We are all beating the odds. It's incredible, really. I see so many people come in and out of the rooms of AA. The worst is when I make friends with someone, and then I never see them again. I don't know if they're alive or dead. In rehab or on the street. But as long as we don't drink, we get to be the statistic of the few that get to enjoy a happy, sober life. It keeps me motivated that according to the studies and statistics, I should have relapsed along time ago. Yet I'm still here. So F the stats. You just keep pushing forward, but don't forget how it used to be.

So for me, good news, bad news.

Good news: I can go down to PT only 2 times a week. Yay!. I am making such great progress.

Bad news: My liver doc is pressing hard for an endoscopy next spring. I would have to have anesthesia. Ugh. I am so tired of procedures. I can't take it anymore. But she's worried that because of all the vomiting/aspiration and the stomach bleed I had when I was drinking, that my esophagus could have pre-cancerous cells. 1% chance, she said. But with my luck? Who knows. So I'll get the procedure. I told her no conscious sedation (what I had for my hip replacement). I want to be completely out. She said I could have the Michael Jackson drug (propofol). Works for me, I guess. Not until June.

Last day on 15 mg of Oxy. Down to 10 mg tomorrow. Just some mild withdrawal symptoms like insomnia, aching calves, and runny nose. Nothing major. Hoping tomorrow won't be any worse. Taper is definitely the way to go, rather than cold turkey. Too bad I could never taper alcohol.

Time for a quick nap and then off to an AA meeting. Later Marchers!
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Old 12-04-2013, 02:18 PM
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Good morning Marchers. North I am so glad you are sticking close to us during your shorter dark days, this morning catching the sunshine for you would be a bit difficult as it's a tropical sort of morning -- wind, rain, alternating sun and black cloud and about 22C. More Dee's style of weather than the temperate coastal stuff we expect.

Babs it's good to see you, keep rocking on.

DD I am hopeless at digesting medical information (dropped Science in Year 10) as Mr Marcher could tell you but know that I am thinking of you and wanting you well.

Peeps I am over Christmas and we are only up to Dec 5 but I keep reminding myself that I get two weeks off afterwards.

Stay strong and stay sober.
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Old 12-04-2013, 03:10 PM
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Marcher - usually I'm a Christmas grinch, as I was raised Jewish (I'm kinda nothing right now - just spiritual through AA), but this year, I am actually feeling pretty cheerful. Fact is, looking back on 2013, I am grateful to be alive. The worst year of my life is coming to a close, but I am looking nowhere but upward.

My brother's 30th birthday is this month and I'll be spending Christmas with sober friends. Last time this year, I had no friends. So I'm not going to be a grinch this year. Too much to be thankful for.
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Old 12-04-2013, 05:41 PM
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Good evening, Marchers!

I think I forgot to post this am - busy time fussing over work problem.

DD, I agree that the liver is a very resilient organ but it is not infinitely regenerative! Once one has cirrhosis, by the time you get to the last stage, it can usually only improve by about one stage according to my liver specialist. I was at the next to last stage for awhile (when I wasn't drinking) and it did improve by at least one level. Of course my more recent drinking was probably one of my less than stellar ideas :-( Mine was due to fatty liver initially. Cirrhosis affects a minority of people who have fatty liver but it is just as nasty as alcoholic cirrhosis.

Also, as far as people who drop off the thread, in my very limited experience I have seen some who stopped by occasionally and let us know they were still sober. We had one in another thread who stopped by usually once a month and let us know when he slipped earlier and recently that he hit 9 solid months and he and his wife had a new baby boy. Talk about the proud papa! It was great to see.

My liver and gut doc swears by propofol - that's what I'm getting this spring when they scope me from both ends :-(. I've had both a number of times but never on the same day before - a two fer one deal, I guess!

DD, it sounds like you are doing so well! I'm glad you have your AA friends.

Marcher, it sounds like Christmas is a busy time for you. Not too much longer :-)

North, good to hear you are getting out into the fresh air. Keep up the great work :-)

Good to hear from you, Babs and LP, our sober twins!

Gilmer, ouch! I just realized that I have my every-4 month dental cleaning on this coming Monday morning :-(

Toots, you just totally disillusioned me - I was counting on you knowing everything. I don't think I'd like soor plooms very much!

Good night, all!
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Old 12-04-2013, 06:55 PM
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Hello Marchers,

just a quick drive by, everything's going well! Nothing to bitch or brag about.

WeHav, take the time to do the "guilty pleasures" you don't get to do when j is around, watch pro wrasslin, soap operas, listen to heavy metal, whatever you want to do just for you. My brother and his wife have been together 30 years, ,usually, only actually together a little less that half of each year. The rest of the time brother is usually off working somewhere. Maybe that's why they still get along so well.

DD, good to hear your PT is going well!

North, good to see you buddy, winter solstice is soon, then the days get longer, hang in there.



Being alone takes practice and patience, my best way to handle it was to actually like myself. It took me a while to realize that. Before I got married, I was by myself for quite a while and did well. After we split up I didn't like myself very much and that sent me into my downward spiral. It took until I started doing things just because I liked doing them. Now things are going well and looking upward every day.
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Old 12-04-2013, 06:56 PM
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Oh We. I'm so sorry. I could say a lot more but I'm not so sure that would help. Oh when did that ever stop me. I totally understand though. I don't think we are ever prepared when our world gets turned upside down. That's what it felt like to me. I felt upside down when everyone else was right side up.

All I know is when things as big as these things happen, it changes us forever. And as much as it sucks and is hard and painful, it actually can change us for the better. You...I know it will.

You are not the We from last year and you are not the We we will have in the future. You will love even deeper, be even more compassionate, know a strength you never knew existed. Your heart will expand because of this.

Of course you had that thought. Those stupid thoughts will pop up on us probably here and there once in awhile for the rest of our lives. Especially when things like this happens. You are not a nut. New rule. No I'm sorrys and no I'm a nut.

You are always positive. It just your turn to have a shoulder to lean on. I have 2. You can have both. So do the rest of us. I think. I haven't heard different so I will assume 2. Do the math. We are just one big wall of shoulders to lean on and we all get a turn when we need it. Sometimes we are the wall. Sometimes we are the one leaning against the wall.

(((Hug)))
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Old 12-04-2013, 07:09 PM
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And hey North. I think I got the winter yucks too. First sober winter and all so I'm just thinking this is just another new first. It's cold and white stuff is starting to fall and it's dark out when I get off work. I'm kinda bored in the evenings. Guess what kind of pops up every once in awhile because of all that? Not constantly but enough to cause me to pay attention.

So this week I noticed that sober winter is just another new first. I'll adjust. I now realize what I must have done a lot of last winter to cover up the winter boredom. Not going there. I will find something productive to do. Or I will just adjust and use the time to hibernate like a bear.

Me, some good books, hot cocoa with marshmallows, lots of homemade soup. I may take this time to learn to do very little and be happy doing very little. We will see.

I'm getting some vitamin d though just in case.
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Old 12-04-2013, 07:16 PM
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Sass - we are scope twins! Sorry about your liver issues. At least there are good doctors out there to help us. And both of us getting sober definitely didn't hurt

I still don't want to have the procedure, but I know it's necessary.

I didn't mean to generalize that everyone who stopped posting is back out there. I'm glad there are people who have moved on from SR to other means of recovery like AA or a good therapist. It's great when people pop in with success stories. It just makes me a bit sad that so many people have tried hard and failed. That prison of alcoholism takes so many good people.

I went to an amazing meeting tonight. It was my home group and almost everyone was there. Room was packed. I got so many hugs. It was just so great to see everyone again. These are people I try to emulate because they've been sober for years and are so happy and loving. I volunteered to speak at 2 rehabs this month. I need to give back after so many people helped me out when I was down.
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Old 12-04-2013, 07:20 PM
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Shoes - my friend and I were talking about this being our first winter tonight (she's a Marcher too), so we decided we're going to throw a homemade soup party when it gets really cold. Soups all around! I can't decide if I should make New England clam chowder or tomato basil.
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Old 12-04-2013, 07:42 PM
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Clam chowder gets my vote
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Old 12-04-2013, 08:02 PM
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Hmmm. I don't know DD. I'm leaning towards the tomato basil but you have to do grilled cheese sandwiches then. I love plain old Campbell's tomato soup made with milk...not water...and wonder bread with velveta processed cheese...grilled. Poor mans comfort food. Yum yum.

Homemade soup is the best. It makes winter worth living through.
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Old 12-04-2013, 08:07 PM
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Originally Posted by 360shoes View Post
Oh We. I'm so sorry. I could say a lot more but I'm not so sure that would help. Oh when did that ever stop me. I totally understand though. I don't think we are ever prepared when our world gets turned upside down. That's what it felt like to me. I felt upside down when everyone else was right side up.

All I know is when things as big as these things happen, it changes us forever. And as much as it sucks and is hard and painful, it actually can change us for the better. You...I know it will.

You are not the We from last year and you are not the We we will have in the future. You will love even deeper, be even more compassionate, know a strength you never knew existed. Your heart will expand because of this.

Of course you had that thought. Those stupid thoughts will pop up on us probably here and there once in awhile for the rest of our lives. Especially when things like this happens. You are not a nut. New rule. No I'm sorrys and no I'm a nut.

You are always positive. It just your turn to have a shoulder to lean on. I have 2. You can have both. So do the rest of us. I think. I haven't heard different so I will assume 2. Do the math. We are just one big wall of shoulders to lean on and we all get a turn when we need it. Sometimes we are the wall. Sometimes we are the one leaning against the wall.

(((Hug)))
shoes, you made me cry and laugh in the same post. my heart will expand, yeah I think it will. so will j's. she's never lost a parent before, you and I know what that's like. she is stronger and kinder already than she was too.

okay, I'm not a nut. if you knew me in real life, you'd probably say I am. my family tree is full of nuts and we are pretty proud of it :-).

thank you so much, guys. you are so kind and give great advise. wish I could respond better individually to all of you but I'm kind of exhausted.
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Old 12-05-2013, 12:57 AM
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Hi guys, we have battened down the hatches here today, very high winds, the Tay bridge is closed so I am not in work as I ought to be, but am awaiting further reports. We are surrounded with tall firs here, and fully expect to see fallen trees once we do get out. It is expected to ease as the day goes on so I should make it in to work later in the day.

I hope everyone is well. I heard from Joygirl yesterday, she has a lot going on,so has asked your patience, she will be back when she can.

DD I had an endoscopy years ago, they didn't knowck me out but whatever drug they gave me made me forget the whole thing?

Sass, on the plus side of getting both done together you know they're not using the same endoscope for both procedures!!!!

Marcher, you could give DD some soup tips!
For me the Clam chowder sounds good. Through the winter I often make Pea and Ham soup for A it is his all time favourite. It should stick to your ribs done properly!! Mmmm may put a pot on later!

Wehav, Shoes, new survey! 'What kind of nut are you?' ! I think I'm a Brazil, I don't let you in easily but when I do it is worth it!

Budd, funnily enough, I have always loved my own company, I guess even as a child I found it easier to be alone than feel different amongst my peers. It's lovely having A home this week, but I am also looking forward to getting back into my own routine from Sunday!

North, I will begin my sports research on the Patriots immediately. Though it may not be Boston we actually settle, once we have been across for a while we will decide.
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Old 12-05-2013, 02:19 AM
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Originally Posted by digdug View Post
Shoes - my friend and I were talking about this being our first winter tonight (she's a Marcher too), so we decided we're going to throw a homemade soup party when it gets really cold. Soups all around! I can't decide if I should make New England clam chowder or tomato basil.
Either sounds good. Personally I love minestrone -- the real deal I mean. DD as Toots suggested I can send you recipes if you need 'em. Can you get your hands on a bread making machine? It's so easy and I can help you with that too.

Toots you and me both with the high wind today! This morning it was like the tropics, tonight it is absolutely freezing, the computer says it's 14C which is damned cold for this time of year. I'm getting my winter jammies out.

ETA I know why it's so windy for us Toots, I'll just bet North has turned the whole world upside down so he can have our longer days. You and I have obviously been caught in the global flip, I've got North's temperatures and he's sunning himself down under.
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Old 12-05-2013, 02:29 AM
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Hey, Toots ... Both procedures together means sequentially but luckily they start at the top! .

Budd, I find that I like to be able to choose when I want to be alone and when it feels like fun to do something with friends. I prefer spur of the moment stuff and can mostly be quite content with my own company (and, of course, my very furry little rescue kitty - all 7 lbs of her).

Shoes, I see you as a very kind, empathic and caring woman. That can add to life's difficulties at times but the rewards over the long haul are so worth it. As much as I generally prefer to be by myself, helping others feels very meaningful.

DD, you are becoming a very awesome gentleman. Your attitude is outstanding and I applaud your sticking to AA and getting through all you have been through. Keep up the great work.

WeHav, grrrlll, you have lots going on in your life right now but you are an incredibly strong and caring person - an unbeatable combination IMHO. You will get through this, too.

Marcher, North, Gilmer, LP, Babs, Duff, Dee and whoever I missed this time, I hope you all have a happy Thursday :-)

I know I always seem to miss some of you and I'm afraid it's my diminishing memory that's not at work as much anymore.

Have a lovely day, Marchers!
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Old 12-05-2013, 02:31 AM
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Hi all,

I'm just popping in to say hello as I don't believe I did this morning. I'm in bed n it's not even 9.30pm yet. I've been having terrible sleep these past few nights so reckon the earlier i'm tucked up, even if not asleep, the more i'll at least feel i've had my hours of lying supine!

Marcher..........we got down to 11 today, then there was a freak 5 min hailstorm......and there was snowfall in the mountains???!!!

The weathers gone crazy. Okay North, enough tantrums. Please put all your toys back in your pram and give us our Summer back!!

Sorry again not address everyone. My eye is still so swollen, been drinking heaps of water to no avail. I'm prob not helping matters staring at a screen.

U are all in my thoughts. I know in my head what I want to say to you all but i'm so tired i'm peering at the screen. Nite from down under folks.

Love to all. Hope to be back to Chatty Coo soon.

LP x
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Old 12-05-2013, 02:32 AM
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Oh and a special shout out to Twin Babs. x
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Old 12-05-2013, 02:46 AM
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Hope you feel better soon LP

D
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Old 12-05-2013, 04:59 AM
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off to bed so we continue here guys:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-21-a.html

have a good day all
D
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