DoubleDragons

What is Barre? Is it Ballet? Good for you!! Is this a passion of yours, Tempe??

Bilr44

Snipe/WhoDey,

Congrats on 3 and 4 weeks. The days and weeks add up fast and things get easier. I can't remember the last time I had a craving so you have a lot to look forward to.

WhoDey

Bilr ... Thanks! It is so gratifying to pass significant milestones. Soon we'll be successfully handling holidays ... Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years. They are all unique challenges, but successfuly navigating them makes us stronger.

Aside ... When I first read Tempe's post about becoming a "Barre" instructor, my first reaction was that it was a typo ...

ctrl

Hi all,

Just checking in with everyone.

I hope all of my classmates are doing well.

Came so close to having a drink at dinner last weekend. Went to a steakhouse with my brother, and everyone started ordering their drinks. I thought, "One won't hurt. I'm not craving a drink, so I'll be fine."

Took a breath and had iced tea. I'm not sure how things would've turned out if I had that drink, but I'm happy with how things turned out without it.

trudgingagain

Good to hear from you, Snipe! Congrats on 3 weeks! I think a lot of us are "people pleasers"....I know that I am....it all takes time....Good for you DD that you have a (legitimate) "out"....although, I know I drank when taking antibiotics! In fact, I remember when I first got sober and got like the flu....hadn't been sick in years...and I think that if I were, then I drank myself through it and didn't feel any symptoms...How is that for DUMB....lol.....Thanks for the "shout out", Whodey...yes...we come in all flavors! Hang in there, everyone...and have a great day!

trudgingagain

Hey Whodey, congrats on 4 weeks!

LittleSparrow

Ctrl, glad you got through your close call! Phew!

fishoutawatta

Good morning all,

Great to see the milestones. After my recent last slide into old patterns, I'm celebrating a "mile-pebble" of making it through yesterday!

I've been intrigued by the different patterns that we experience: some of us find the pressure of being with others our "trigger." Some of us (like me) find the experience of being alone, and inactive, the trigger. If I know, for example, that I am going to spend the afternoon cleaning the basement by myself, my thoughts immediately turn to "what kind of refreshment do i want to keep me company?"

Fascinating . . . and ponderable!

Fishy

shay17

Good Morning All!

I finally had a little bit of time to catch up on my October peeps!
I was reading the struggles that Countingdays was having with her husband wanting to share a bottle of wine with her every now and again.

I thought about how difficult that must be when someone you're so close to is basically not supporting your decision. No one else but us know the depths of despair alcohol can take us. They might see the Tasmanian Devil appear before their eyes at times of inebriation, but the aftermath is often very personal and very dark.

My ex boyfriend was in favor of me quitting but then would stay out until 3am and call me to pick him up from the city. He didn't really support me, he just didn't want the wrath of my drunken behavior. He was clueless how his drinking also effecting me and our relationship. Luckily, I saw the light and let him go and now it's been FAR easier to stay sober on my own.

I'm hesitant to date right now because that's a HUGE time for relapse and I just cannot bear another single morning with regret after a night of drinking and more than likely a blackout. I need to keep building this foundation, keep myself busy with healthy activities and I believe the rest with come in due time. I am the most important person in my life because without a healthy ME, there's no other healthy relationship(s) I could possibly nurture and maintain.

Day 46 - feeling divine!

Have a beautiful day EVERYONE!!

Shay

free2Bsober13

It is interesting how our triggers are so different. I'm like Fishy. Being alone is my worst trigger. So many of the bad things that I've experienced have been when my husband has been out of town. The other time I drank is when I was out shopping alone. HUGE trigger for me!!!

shay17

Hi Free2bsober! - my favorite thing was to sit at a bar at a mall restaurant, have several glasses of wine, SHOP, then go back and drink more….

Sometimes, I get triggered going to the mall for this reason. We should never go shopping together heheee!

free2Bsober13

Ha ha! That's the truth!
At least you drank at the bar. I bought the little minis of wine and drank them in the car. When I was going through some depression over my son, it was rum and flavored water. I can't believe I never got caught.

Thankfully I don't have to worry about that anymore!

clownface

This rings so true for me, my weekends away or nights out were really ALL about the drinking! Now I am a month sober and I look forward to nice meals and good company and it feels great. Saying that, I am on a girls weekend this week and am a bit nervous how others will perceive me. I too suffer from lack of self-esteem and self confidence and always analyse everything I say or do and judge myself on this, always looking to impress others. I would love to work on these self esteem issues but don't know where to start. Does anyone else have any ideas they can share? :-)

DoubleDragons

Oh, Trudging, I never let antibiotics stop me from getting my drunk on in my drinking days. I am just saying now I understand that most reasonable people would agree that you shouldn't drink when taking antibiotics so it is an excellent excuse. Had this lunch happened a year ago, I would never had mentioned being on antibiotics and I would have ordered a bottle of wine, acted like a big shot paying for it, insisting that my friend share it with me. All to "legitimately" get my buzz going . . . .

Today drinking never came up. Iced tea for me, Diet Coke for her and salads . . . man, I kind of like boring, healthy me!

DoubleDragons

Ctrl, I think you hit the nail on the head. We are/were never sure what the results were going to be once we started drinking alcohol. All bets were off! However, we pretty much are guaranteed no major issues (or at least nothing we can't handle) if we don't start drinking. I like the guarantee. Good for you for staying strong!!

fishoutawatta

DD -- being boring has its advantages, doesn't it! I've noticed that I/we make a bigger deal out of what others will think/do than they often DO think/do. As you pointed out, "drinking never came up".

Good for you!

Fishy

DoubleDragons

Yay, Yay, Whodey!!!!

SoberMarathon

Hi Guys...thanks for all the encouragement you poured out the other day as I gear up for this trip, especially Bilr and DD. The positive feedback is just the boost I need in order to have the confidence to get through this one. The emails about when and where the parties will be have already been flowing in and I'm still on the other side of the Atlantic. Tomorrow it will be 50 days for me this time around and it will be serious go time for 4 days straight. If I don't drink, it's going to be tough, if I do drink it's got the potential to be 100x worse. As long as I keep reminding myself that, I should be ok.

Glad to hear from your ctrl and that you made it through some tough situations on the weekend. I bet you are thankful for going with the iced tea:-)

DoubleDragons

Hey, Fishy. I have actually been kind of relieved to see all of you "sneaky/lonely" drinkers on SR. It makes me feel better to think that after I had publicly made a drunken a== of myself, some of the other people I was with, might have had alcohol issues, as well. They were just waiting to steal off by themselves, at home to get smashed. That being said, when my husband travelled a lot for work, I couldn't wait to get my kids into bed so I could break open my bottle of wine and watch movies until the wine was gone, or I was . . . . I used to use to say I needed the wine to sleep better because I was "scared" of being alone ~ Even though I have big dogs and big sons and live in a gated community. :P I think "how" we drink (our drinking patterns) are just another rationalization to keep drinking. Some of us might have felt, no harm, no foul, if we didn't embarrass ourselves or our families getting drunk privately and some people think as long as we don't drink alone we really don't have a problem. We use other people drinking a lot around us to justify our drinking. In the end, though, if we kept going, we would probably end up like the round the clock drinkers who just don't even care any more . . . . .

DoubleDragons

The only guarantee in this situation, SM, is that if you don't drink, you will have nothing to regret. But if you do drink?!?!?