Class of September 2013 - Part 15
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,742
Haha I did wear clothes and they even matched. I wasn't the belle of the ball but I showed my face and got home safe. I became nervous at one point but I had been there two hours already so I bed them adieu.
Thanks for all your support. I wish I had stayed on the couch but I am glad I went. I'd be beating myself up now if I didn't.
Thanks for all your support. I wish I had stayed on the couch but I am glad I went. I'd be beating myself up now if I didn't.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
Kell, I missed what happened in the other thread. I am so sorry you were laid off. Like LG said, most often the ones that are retained are kept on because letting them go would create a potential lawsuit. I am so sorry. 
I liked Fish's story about how it as a transformative event for him. I wish I could hug you in person.
I liked Fish's story about how it as a transformative event for him. I wish I could hug you in person.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 225
Renarde, I hope you are sleeping by now and feel better in the morning.
Late catching up but add my sympathies over the job Kell. It must be horrible to be treated like that. Really try not to take it personally and remember what Fish and all the others said. It might be the start of something new and better.
Was working til 2am this morning and up already to sort the children out for school (husband sleeping) so feeling sleepy and trying not to think about upcoming events which are going to be big triggers. I have worked for the last 5 or 6 weekends but this Saturday I'm not and we are going to a dinner party where I would normally be the life and soul. If it's close friends it will be fine but if there are people there I don't know I will find it REALLY difficult. I don't want to go but my husband is looking forward to it so much (he who hasn't had a sober night during my 53 so far, heigh ho!)
Late catching up but add my sympathies over the job Kell. It must be horrible to be treated like that. Really try not to take it personally and remember what Fish and all the others said. It might be the start of something new and better.
Was working til 2am this morning and up already to sort the children out for school (husband sleeping) so feeling sleepy and trying not to think about upcoming events which are going to be big triggers. I have worked for the last 5 or 6 weekends but this Saturday I'm not and we are going to a dinner party where I would normally be the life and soul. If it's close friends it will be fine but if there are people there I don't know I will find it REALLY difficult. I don't want to go but my husband is looking forward to it so much (he who hasn't had a sober night during my 53 so far, heigh ho!)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
may as well post this again lol - there are some really good tips for dealing with social occasions here
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html
Do you feel confident about it Clemence?
could you find out more about this dinner party before you go?
D
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html
Do you feel confident about it Clemence?
could you find out more about this dinner party before you go?
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 225
Thanks Dee, that's a very useful article. It would be frightfully rude, I think, to ask who else will be there so I'm going to really try and prepare myself. Thinking about it, actually, I will probably find the next night/when I get home harder. That whole reward thing is a big trigger for me. I really do find posting here makes me accountable so thank you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Iowa
Posts: 464
Can't sleep. My mind is racing and I'm filled with anxiety. Does anyone have any suggestions for how to deal with anxiety in a healthy way? I want to keep my sobriety at the forefront even with everything else that is going on. But this anxiety is brutal. My stomach is in knots, my head hurts and I feel like I just want to hide under a rock until it all goes away. My fear is that rock becomes beer and I lose this momentum I've gained.
Funny how life works isn't it? Just as I'm starting to think I am making progress with sobriety life decides to test me with a whammy.
I'm trying to get my head on straight and get out of this pity party but I'm just so devastated. The way the company just expects me to continue on business as usual is maddening. I have meetings today that I'm supposed to host with external business partners. I mean really? I'm not a robot I can't just shut down my sadness and fear.
I know what I need to do. I need to find a job with another company. But that doesn't change today or even tomorrow.
Funny how life works isn't it? Just as I'm starting to think I am making progress with sobriety life decides to test me with a whammy.
I'm trying to get my head on straight and get out of this pity party but I'm just so devastated. The way the company just expects me to continue on business as usual is maddening. I have meetings today that I'm supposed to host with external business partners. I mean really? I'm not a robot I can't just shut down my sadness and fear.
I know what I need to do. I need to find a job with another company. But that doesn't change today or even tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,021
Kelll I am here and in the same position as you. I was made redundant last week. My role in senior management is rare to be made redundant so don't I feel extra special What is causing the anxiety ? Is it financial insecurity ? Pls do share. Remember that worry and anxiety about things beyond your control dies not change anything. Try to let those feelings go.
What is causing the anxiety ? Is it financial insecurity ? Pls do share. Remember that worry and anxiety about things beyond your control dies not change anything. Try to let those feelings go.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Iowa
Posts: 464
My fear and anxiety come from multiple places. Financial is one of them but not at the top. I've managed to make a decent amount of money but I expect I will have to take a pay cut. My husband and I are already dealing with this reality.
I think where most of it is coming from is because I have worked so hard at this company. And while I know I'm still just a number it's hurting so bad. I have a lot if fear about starting over at a new company you know?
Then there is the fear if how to get through unitil I find another job. They expect me to be 'business as usual'. I'm struggling with that. I have to face everyone I the office and they all know I'll be disposed of as soon as the outsourced folks are trained. It just all feels so degrading. And I feel like I can't stick up for myself. You know? I'm suppose to be grateful that they are giving me this time. But I know the truth. The truth is they still need us to keep the business running and to train the outsourced folks. In the end they could care less about me and I'll be disposed of.
I think where most of it is coming from is because I have worked so hard at this company. And while I know I'm still just a number it's hurting so bad. I have a lot if fear about starting over at a new company you know?
Then there is the fear if how to get through unitil I find another job. They expect me to be 'business as usual'. I'm struggling with that. I have to face everyone I the office and they all know I'll be disposed of as soon as the outsourced folks are trained. It just all feels so degrading. And I feel like I can't stick up for myself. You know? I'm suppose to be grateful that they are giving me this time. But I know the truth. The truth is they still need us to keep the business running and to train the outsourced folks. In the end they could care less about me and I'll be disposed of.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,021
Kell
Firstly, remember that it is you who has the skills and experience, not your company. Your role being outsourced is a numbers game, ie, cost cutting, and has nothing to do with your abilities. You will take your abilities with you to your new role, whatever that may be. Have faith in yourself that you will be successful at your new company as with your existing one. Nothing can take that away from you. You have worked hard at your current job and will reap the benefits of all that skill and experience in your future roles.
As with fulfilling your duties at your existing company, take it one day at a time. Be professional about it, hold your head high and your colleagues will respect you for it. Whilst I did some guerrilla tactics at my old job, I still fulfilled all my duties until my last day. My boss highly appreciated it and will go out on a limb for me in getting a new job. I am confident that your colleagues will not look down at you; in fact, they are probably worried about their own jobs !
As I mentioned before, the die is cast. It is what it is. You cant live in the past or the future. All we have is the present. Live in it. I believe anxiety comes from trying to live in the future. That isn't possible. You can plan for the future but that is all.
My thoughts: Dont be hard on yourself. There is no reason to be. Let the future go, you cant control it. Accept and acknowledge the feelings of bitterness, anger and resentment. Dont fight it. You dont have to like it but as well you dont need to act upon it either. Simply let them be. Breathe through it. Those feelings will eventually dissipate. In an emergency, eat chocolate.
Stay close here Kell. Vent as much as possible !
Firstly, remember that it is you who has the skills and experience, not your company. Your role being outsourced is a numbers game, ie, cost cutting, and has nothing to do with your abilities. You will take your abilities with you to your new role, whatever that may be. Have faith in yourself that you will be successful at your new company as with your existing one. Nothing can take that away from you. You have worked hard at your current job and will reap the benefits of all that skill and experience in your future roles.
As with fulfilling your duties at your existing company, take it one day at a time. Be professional about it, hold your head high and your colleagues will respect you for it. Whilst I did some guerrilla tactics at my old job, I still fulfilled all my duties until my last day. My boss highly appreciated it and will go out on a limb for me in getting a new job. I am confident that your colleagues will not look down at you; in fact, they are probably worried about their own jobs !
As I mentioned before, the die is cast. It is what it is. You cant live in the past or the future. All we have is the present. Live in it. I believe anxiety comes from trying to live in the future. That isn't possible. You can plan for the future but that is all.
My thoughts: Dont be hard on yourself. There is no reason to be. Let the future go, you cant control it. Accept and acknowledge the feelings of bitterness, anger and resentment. Dont fight it. You dont have to like it but as well you dont need to act upon it either. Simply let them be. Breathe through it. Those feelings will eventually dissipate. In an emergency, eat chocolate.
Stay close here Kell. Vent as much as possible !
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