Tallia

Quick check in the sr app on my phone don't work anymore will catch up with you all later once I get Internet at home fixed xx

Nuway2fly

Good to see you, Tallia. Hope you're doing well.

kellbell123

Just wanted to pop in and say hi I hope everyone has a good week! Kane - sorry about your job I'll be thinking of you and I hope your next opportunity arrives quickly!

ChrisBen

Hi everyone. Coming up on eight weeks Wednesday. Still have what is now a dusty bottle of wine on the counter. Had a bit of an awkward experience Friday. Was over at a friends house and she was mixing a root beer and rum and told me to take a sip. I said no thanks, she got kind of pushy, but it was more because I can be a bit of a germaphobe and she thought I didn't want to drink after her or something, next thing I know my daughter and her daughter are chanting TRY IT TRY IT. I just said ummm I'm not drinking right now. It was a bit of a nightmare and I don't know why I didn't just say I don't like rum. She wouldn't have expected me to have a drink with her because she knows I won't if I'm driving with the kids. I haven't had a chance to talk to her about my sobriety because we are always with our girls.
Anyway, hope everyone is well and enjoying this Monday. Thinking about all of you across the pond, hope this storm passes soon.

phoebe64

Oh, my, Chrisben, that was weird! Very awkward!!

Dee74

Chances are you're making more of this that she is Chrisben.
Most people don;t remember things like that - honest

I get it tho.
early on, I remember feeling really embarrassed that I didn't drink.

The way I drank it, the stuff nearly killed me - and I felt embarrassed?
Crazy.

I'm sorry that you found yourself in that position, but at least next time you'll have a better idea of what to do - maybe an upfront 'no thank you' or 'I'm not drinking anymore' could help diffuse the peer pressure thing?

D

FishnHippy

I think everyones phone app has crashed I hope they fix it soon. I sent a message to the developer and he said there was something wrong with my phone and I replied that I knew of at least 8 people in the world had phones that must of screwed up at the same damn time.

GotGrace

ChrisBen, glad to see you again and to know you are still doing well!

Kaneda, I am so impressed by your positive attitude. Good luck this week. You will never regret taking the high road no matter how much you might want to tell everyone to shove it.

I am wondering how Lillian's weekend went and how Hooped is doing. Hope we hear from them soon.

Another weekend in the books, Septemberites! Keep ticking off those days!

Br00ksie

I messaged the developer also and have not yet received a response.

Uninvited

I was feeling kind of anxious last night. I was starting to see a few past events with new clarity and it started up some thoughts of " woe is me, how did I let it get to this". And an underlying feeling of it's too late now. I'm too old. Might as well just roll over and die, etc.

Feeling ok today though but I'm incredibly alone. I've lived in this state 3 years and I basically don't know anybody outside of work. I engineered my life this way to keep society from interfering with my drinking. That's the part that I'm suddenly finding so sad. I mean nothing about being alone every night sober is fun. I mean not even a tiny bit fun.

Feel really strong about not drinking though. Which is odd given the points I made above.

LillianGish

UI - it's good to realize that the state of our lives are our own doing.

....the next small step in logic is that you therefore have the capacity to engineer your life anyway you want.

Always love to hear your processing.

Br00ksie

(((UI))) - SO glad you still feel strongly about not drinking! That means you're WINNING.

I, too really appreciate reading your processing.

Are you on Facebook? Is there anyone in your city to whom you can reach out to have lunch/coffee?

Taking a class is a great way to meet people, whether it's water aerobics or sewing. Do you play cards? Maybe you could find a group who plays your favorite card game. Or an intramural sports team. I'm not sure of your age, but you get the idea.

My AA meetings also have fellowship at a local diner following the meeting. Is there anyone you want to have coffee with who volunteers with you?

Like Lillian said, you CAN engineer a new life! But it will take some effort and it won't happen overnight. You're not going to make friends or see a change by going to work and then going home.

I put myself out there, and I'm hanging out with new people, and I only have 30 days! It's never too late!! That's your AV talking.

LillianGish

Lillian bit the dust last night. I would have made it to eight weeks until then.

I made it through the business trip, where we had dinner at a steakhouse that had the most amazing wine bar I've ever seen. I drank diet cokes instead and laid awake for hours.

I made it through Friday night, where we had dinner at a pub. Having conversation with my husband without children and drinking water.

I made it through Saturday's football game, where I was surrounded by college memories and lots and lots of beer....then dinner again at a brewery. I had a rootbeer with 43 carbs that made me dizzy with sugar.

I did not make it through the birthday dinner. Lifelong friends, in a pub, turning 50, my favorite raspberry beer was there on the menu.
2

I did stop there at dinner....but then had an ale on the plane home "because the sober day is shot anyway." Sigh.

I'm not sure I regret the raspberry beer for my birthday. The one on the plane though....yeah. Give an inch, take a mile mentality.

I'm back though. Here.

I realize I tested myself too much in five days. It wasn't all failure though, so I'm going to be a glass-half full gal today. Dusting off.

I need to read up on everyone though ~ I clearly see Fish's boat is sinking. I'm a little alarmed by that!

Br00ksie

(((Lillian)))
You had a trying weekend, indeed! I have not yet had a birthday and can only imagine how triggering that must be, let alone all of the other activities involving wine/alcohol you were faced with!

KUDOS for remaining strong for the VAST majority of your weekend! And you got a lesson out of it. You are learning your limitations.

Welcome back, and HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!

LillianGish

Black, I'm late to the discussion here - I am religious, spiritual, believe in angels. So for me, this gave me chills.

There is also a power within every single one of us. That was the power of you too.

I wish you nothing but the best in your new journey.

Melina

Just keep swimming, Lillian, swimming, swimming, swimming! You're doing great!

Kaneda, again, I'm really bummed out for you about your job. I hope a new opportunity presents itself soon. I think you have a great attitude to get through this.

UI, I know what you meaning about making a life where no one can interfere with how much you drink. And then when you put the bottle down and you're like, hey guys, I'm back! And no one is there. It's going to take a little time to incorporate friends in our lives as we get sober time. I would focus on what activities you can do, like Brooksie said. See if you enjoy the activities and then see if you like the people involved. Make friends little by little but do as many activities that look appealing as you can. I like going to the gym. I don't really talk to anyone there, but I feel really good after working out.

Brooksie, you've got such a great attitude! It's infectious!

I'm on Day 5, no tobacco either! Riding the nicotine fits is craziness but I really want to be a non-smoker so I'm going for it.

I can do this. We can do this!

I hope you guys have a great day!

1stepup

Hi everyone, sorry you slipped Lillian but it was a HUGE ask for anyone to remain sober through that weekend, good that youre back.

Know how you feel Uninvited im starting to feel boring now im sober- went for a coffee today with a girl from aa after the meeting and I felt like I had nothing to say, its like we've discussed all about our respective drinking careers and have ran out of things to say- Frank Skinner said once that he missed the highs of drinking but he's glad he doesn't have those extreme lows anymore- its like living sober is the middle ground between misery and excitement.

Neverthought

Hi All,

Day (40) checking in....thanks for supporting each other....you're all doing a wonderful job at that.

And although slips have been acknowledged, glad those of you have chosen to come right back!

That is a sign of commitment, resolute and strength!

LillianGish

Fish,
Wow, you have great kids. Good for you. Glad you made it through this crisis!

When I was young and growing up, my step-father was pretty cruel to me. Angry, mean, weird. I always wondered....not so much about why he was the way he was (because he was obviously very broken)....but I wondered more about why my mother didn't stick up for me. Why didn't she leave, why didn't she tell him to stop yelling at me and hitting me....why?

A counselor told me this, and it has really helped me: "she did the best she could." She wasn't capable of more, but she did keep me alive, kept me fed (sort of), made me who I am today. She did the best that she could given her own level of insecurity around a man.

Your friends....are the same. I like to think they truly didn't want you to be uncomfortable at the car race. It isn't how YOU would have liked it to be handled, but they are just doing the best they can.

Tell them what you want and I bet they'll listen. What you are going through.....they have no idea how to handle.

Did you want to go to NASCAR, or would you have just wanted them to ask so you could decline the invitation? If you went, could you have found a way to handle it sober like you did at the football game?

Fish, I'm finding that my friends are drinkers. Not a coincidence! I chose them. You are the CEO of your life though - promote and demote who you choose that fits your new mission statement. I'm sure there are people at NASCAR who don't drink. They are just quiet about it.

My dad and I watch Nascar all the time. Look, there's two.

Now please change your ship picture. That water looks cold and I prefer to swim in tropical climates if we have to come in after ya!

Br00ksie

Haa, I completely relate to running out of things to say AA people! A week in, I became close with a woman around my age who reached out to me at a meeting, and now I don't call her because I feel like we have run out of things to talk about!

But that's SO not true! I have had a ton of new experiences and thoughts that occurred over the weekend that I can call and share about, that will no doubt lead to more conversation. The thing about life, even if it is happening from our living rooms, is that it introduces new, daily experiences for us to talk about with one another.

Whether I want to share about visiting the Banksy installment last night or talk to her about Chris Brown's (an American singer who I loathe) latest arrest that I read about this morning, the possibilities can be endless!

And, if you really just have nothing in common with her (which very well may be the case), you can always reach out to someone else or ask her about other members, but it is good to know that she is there to talk to about AA stuff, regardless of your common interests (or lack thereof).