courage2

Dorothy, my plan (and we know what happens to the best plans of mice and men ) is to look into individual counseling. It's kind of amazing that I've never tried any kind of mental health support in 50 years.

I'm not going to quit going to AA meetings. In AA language, I've just realized that I never have really gotten Step 3, turning my will & my life over to the care of a higher power. As they say, I've "taken my will back." As of about 1/2 hour ago, my sponsor is no longer sponsoring me, but she's volunteered to be the buddy in AA that she encouraged me to find & I never did. She predicted that the path I've set myself on will eventually lead me back to drink, but that's what anyone in the program would say -- I told her it was a little bitchy of her to say that, but I understand that she believes it.

tanja

DG0409 - CONGRATULATIONS ON 7 MONTHS oF SOBRIETY. I couldn't be happier for you! I am so glad that you are making this a special day.

DP - I have had the same fleeting thoughts about relapse. I could just start over. Realistically, I would be devastated and in all likelihood might never start over. My thoughts are with you today.

Welcome Dizzychainsaw Twenty-two days of sobriety is awsome You will find great wisdom, kindness and support on this thread.

Courage - Your name is fitting. I am glad that you asserted yourself and told your former sponsor that it was a bitchy thing to say. My former sponsor told me the same thing because she didn't think I was attending enough meetings or growing enough. The bottom line is that there is no one size fits all approach to conquering alcoholism. As long as you are working a program of recovery every day is key.

tootsl1

Courage, well done for speaking your mind. I loathe those who say it's my way or it won't work. It shows a narrow minded attitude to recovery, and we learn here to look around, try everything on and see what fits. Be proud of yourself love.

Dotty, I hope the memorial will be a celebration of his young life.

Tanja, I hope last weeks experience hasn't caused you unnecessary nerves, what is this weeks topic?

DG thank you! Just when I was begining to feel you were too perfect to like, you go and reveal a *****!! Enjoy that decaf girl! Xx

Steve, I know what you mean about bringing folk down, but there can be a balance where you come here for an occasional emotional dump if it helps lighten your load any.

Hi Dizzychainsaw, ignore DG, I'm the only crazy here! I have the certificate to prove it. The others are just warped.

Take care peeps and enjoy your weekend. Xx

tootsl1

DG of course I hadn't forgotten sweetie, I just figured you deserved your own post. the 9.9 is for the decaf coffee!!!

dorothyparker

Congrats DG, Bravo. You're doing super well. xoxo

dorothyparker

Stevie, poor thing. You seem to be between a rock and a hard place. Are you still eating like a "horse"? I hope you feel like you could ask for a few hours less each week no? Isn't there a way to ask: is there a way I could get 5 hours off more per week? If they say no, they just say no, no harm done?

Courage it's indeed bitchy of her especially that you're attending AA and doing so many other things. Maybe she took the sponsoring bit too seriously. LOL.

Funny, Toots, about your expression "My way or no way" because I've lived a disagreeable experience with my sister regarding her dog. She wanted me to dogsit her dog at home while she was away but only under her conditions. Then later, someone send me a tacky but sort of moving video of "I did it my way" so I guess there's a middle ground everywhere in all this. Ha ha.

In any case, here is the link because we all have OUR ways, right Tanya, and no way is better than our ways.

My Way Andre Rieu on his violin in New York - YouTube

I'm going to treat myself to a nap now. xo

courage2

Thanks, all for your support about my decision. My mental movie theater is showing 1,000 catastrophes on a continuous loop this afternoon.

IWLSAST

Oh so much happening on the thread today.

I must start with a heartfelt congrats to the Undies ZenMaster.

Dear DG: Congrats on so many spectacular accomplishments...especially for 7 months alcohol free today!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...1&d=1384035009

This would make the BEST tat for a one year celebration, don't you think?

IWLSAST

and this is for your kitties: ZENCAT
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...1&d=1384035135

IWLSAST

Bravo for you in setting her strait, (((Courage))).

I am no expert, but your daily Grats sound far from a near relapse. They always touch me and seem to be written from your heart. I wish you had been with me last night. I was at a meeting out of town, tons of old-timers and the topic was sponsorship. It was a top 5 meeting for me all time, well for the 160 plus i've been at in 5.5 mos.. There was a sponsor family tree there that spanned four generations. Another said that for any that have passed on from life in his family tree...they ALL died sober. I spoke with a gentleman that had 63 years in the rooms. I thought he was a GOD...but he said that he was as fragile as me.

Overwhelmingly they spoke of the need for a sponsor that fits. Criterian varied on proper fit. One woman said that she finally decided to choose a sponsor and was told to pick the tough love brand. Bad fit for her...she said she needed to be loved. She and her sponsor of 20 plus years were there and they obviously love each other.

I am on my second sponsor...and step 3. I may of change to more of a task master for 4 plus. My current sponsor is perfect for my Spiritual journey, which is all so new to me.

Please consider not giving up on AA, and please consider a new sponsor. That's another thing I heard...one old-timer went through 7 in two years.

Tanja, THANKS!! That post is a printer and keeper!

Stevie, what man? Bring us down? Down is where I and all of us came from. Remember those miserable f'n days? We derive strength is listening. Maybe you don't want or need advise...just say that...BUT VENT YOUR TUSHY OFF!!

Dizzy, welcome...jump in, join the fray. Congrats on the 22!!

Later Undergators

DG0409

Carlos- Only if I can get it as one of those fake tats they make for kids!! I'm just not a tattoo sort of girl. They seem a bit well, too permanent in my opinion. I get tired of having the same artwork on the wall for too long. I can't imagine how I'd feel if I had to see something on myself forever. That and well, let's face it, when I'm 80 I'm not sure it'll look quite so hot.

IWLSAST

DG, I get you. The temp type might be nice. However, that not for me.

I have none to date. Told my girls to have at it...but college was awfully expensive to pay for on their own.

However, my stance has softened over the years.

I have relapsed wayyy too many times. I need permanent. Like Stevie and Melivin (where are you ML?). Not even waiting until one year. It will be for my birthday. I do wear a suit for work, so I will need to find the right spot...that might age well too, as you say. May need to pass on that one pak area though. But hey, nothin wrong with lookin hot at 80...it's the new 60 (i hope?)...and I'm already the "new" 40.

I hope my undies will help me choose a design? Artists welcome...unique is what I seek!

BoozeFree

DG congrats on the 7months!
Courage I think it's cool you're exploring different options for help.
Tanja thanks for that post with the list!
Steve yikes with all those hours! Keep hangin in there, I'm sure it will pay off in the end.
Dizzy- welcome!

Well it's almost 4 and I've been studying since around 8am with the exception of a few small breaks. Think I'll call it quits for today, I'm a lil burnt out.

Dee74

welcome Dizzy

D

DG0409

When is your birthday Carlos?

DrakeCKC

Congrats on 7 months DG!

DrakeCKC

welcome to the Undies Dizzy!

dorothyparker

Hello undies,

I came home early from the party. It was sad. All the kids had written farewell notes under pictures of him. They were plastering the dining room's walls.

Everybody was drinking and smoking. I had not temptations to drink but I seriously thought of having a cigarette and I've been a non-smoker 6 and a half years.

I hope I can bother you with what happened to me. I'm feeling truly sad.

A good friend of mine was there and he said a nasty comment to me in front of everyone, he said that before I help fund-raise for the mother to go to France to disperse the ashes, I should think of paying the flowers he fronted. I was choked. Someone took my defence and said that that wasn't very nice and to stop it. I threw 10$ at him (money I need badly) and decided to leave a little while after. I hate that I brought attention to myself but hopefully the child's parents didn't notice. I claimed I had a cold and had to leave. I felt too sad to stay a minute longer.

I entered my car sobbing. All the grief from the suicide came out. Some people can be so cruel and I wonder if perhaps I "allowed" him to be nasty to me. Over the years, I've known him more than 12 years, he's become more cruel to me, and I think I'm letting myself walk all over by being too meek or something, or accepting to be a victim. Maybe I have lost my spunkyness, maybe like animals, he senses that I'm weak at the moment...Maybe he's just an unhappy *******. I don't know but I'm aching from everything that happened tonight, including everyone's sorrow this evening.

I don't think I want to be his friend anymore. Yet, it feels like all I'm having lately are fights with people, my sister, my friends, my mother...

Hopefully things won't look so bad tomorrow and please tell me I'm not an overly sensitive drama queen ???

Nuway2fly

DP, I don't know you well at all. I don't know your "friend" at all. But I take exception to what he said to you in front of others. You didn't pick this fight, so don't blame yourself for any of it. I've been one to be overly sensitive a great deal of the time, so it's hard for me to see it in others. It certainly doesn't sound to me like you had any intention of creating drama.

My condolences on the tragic death of this young man.

courage2

Dorothy, I can't imagine what kind of creep would bully you at such a time about the cost of flowers. He sounds like an idiot at best, and probably (since you say he's been mean to you before), he's worse than that. Sometimes we get in bad habits with others -- he may be in a habit of treating you badly, and you may be in a habit of taking it. You don't need to maintain that habit, any more than you need to maintain the habit of drinking or smoking.

He doesn't sound like a friend at all, and you deserve better. ((( )))