Renarde

I forgot to mention that my kid locked me out of the house tonight. I didn't have my phone, keys, or even shoes! I nearly had a heart attack. Sort of funny now looking back.

LillianGish

lommey, I don't know what kind of things there are to do in your country. As a tourist, I would love to be where you are! Can you take a brief jaunt somewhere fun...that you've always wanted to see?

The question is maybe....what have you been wanting to do for awhile, and haven't had the time? Even if it's cleaning out closets...that can be fun. Play some music, sing to your dog....whatever!

What would you enjoy doing? Throw out some ideas here...

phoebe64

OMG, Renarde! Kids! Glad it is a funny thing now. Your husband is away? That could have been scary!

BTW, Renarde, I was glad to see you post that hubster has been comforting to you. I was actually wondering about him the other day, and meant to ask about his stress and anxiety, but then I guess I forgot to ask!. I remembered that had been a problem before you moved. Sounds like things are doing better?

phoebe64

I am beat tonight. I was tired waking up, and then I met a friend for a long walk, which was great. Nice to chat and see someone! I ran some errands then spent hours making a huge batch of lamb and quinoa stuffed cabbage rolls. Had dinner, have leftovers and even have more that I froze!

Off to catch up on Dancing With The Stars.

LillianGish

Waving back to Fish! I was here early this morning...then the thread was locked and a new one started here. It was my sign I needed to get back to work!

How was the football game? Did the Panthers win? Hope you had a good time without too many beer triggers. I don't miss those $9 beers they sell at the games. Ridiculous prices!

Renarde

Yes, he is gone! I don't know the garage code to our new house and there was no way for me to get in! I spent 5-10 minute out there begging and trying to teach a 3y/o how to unlock a deadbolt through a set of thick doors! I was wondering how I would break a window! Haha

He is doing ok. He continues to get treatment and is doing better than he was. Thanks for asking.

Renarde

That sounds wonderful! Tell me about these cabbage rolls please!

Uninvited

Something that probably shouldn't. A fairly visible meeting I'm responsible for on Wednesday just had a few people added that sort of blow up my agenda and what I want to accomplish. Which is nothing like being locked out of my house or exposed to a deadly disease. It just gets my blood pumping and my mind racing through all the variables. And the way I have historically chilled myself out for the night is to drink.

When I was getting the urge though I was also saying to myself, c'mon you aren't going to start drinking over a screwed up meeting agenda, right? It does make me worry though if anything actually bad does happen.

Br00ksie

Before I quit drinking/smoking, I began to neglect daily duties like showering, brushing my teeth, etc. I would stay in bed and not talk to anyone, and live in my cloud of pot smoke and drink and pass out. My house was a mess and I didn't want to deal with life.

About a month into sobriety (not counting my one-night slip), basically most of last week, I did the same thing. Stayed in my bed, didn't clean, isolated, neglected myself. I did not drink, but I was exhibiting the same behavior I'd had before I got sober. Thus, in that week, I was being a "dry drunk."

The anomaly in last week (aside from it being my first sober PMS) was that I did not go to any AA meetings, nor did I call my sponsor. Both of those things are vital to my recovery I was SOBER, but it was not doing the work that RECOVERY requires.

Br00ksie

Lmaooo! In my head I was like, "huh? needle f***? needle sh**? The fuh is that?"

Kaneda8888

UI

What gives you anxiety...gives you anxiety ! We all have our stress buttons. My view is that step by step we gradually improve. Perhaps by overcoming all the "little" things, you would be prepared for the big one if it comes.

This reminds me of what a famous person (Einstein ?) joked as the secret to a long marriage: "As the man, I make all the major decisions in the house. My wife is responsible for all the small decisions. Having said that, it is interesting that in all our years of marriage, there has never been a requirement for a major decision"

Br00ksie

Someone in AA tonight called having unexplained/unjustified negative feelings having an "emotional cold." What do you do with yourself when you have a cold? You take it easy, you pay closer attention to yourself, and you try to treat e symptoms. I thought it was brilliant! I've decided that I'm going to start saying that as though I came up with the term! Ha! (I keed, of course.)

LillianGish

Renarde, I keep trying to come up with something comforting to say relative to your exposure....and I gotta be honest. I'm coming up with zero on that, without sounding like Pollyanna.

So, I think I'll just say....I'm sorry. That must be very scary. Being a health care worker in this day and age, is no picnic. But I bet you were of great comfort to the patient who had the disease.

Big hugs. Facing fear can feel a little like this....Chinese demonstrator facing a tank. In reality though, you are a tank of strength. Be well!

Renarde

First of all there isn't some threshold requirement for stress so don't dismiss your experience! I worked in business for a long time and things like that can definitely cause tension. If something bad happened I'm fairly certain you would do the same thing I'm doing - post here and hang in there! It is comforting to me to see your posts here every day.

I was just thinking tonight - I can't believe what an alcoholic I am. How much I used alcohol to just partially check out and go on autopilot. It's a little crazy to me how much denial I was in.

Renarde

Thank you! Honestly just having people hear me is enough. Having a place to share my experience. That is actually way more comforting than anything else could be. I really need you guys right now - I have nowhere else to turn really, besides my husband, and he isn't here. I don't need any fixing, I just need to be able to share my feelings. My main issue is with how I am being treated, and the fact that this should not have happened. Lets just hope the darn test is negative and continues to be through the end of the year so I can get on with my life!

Tried to talk to my mom today and she drove me nuts. Yelling about the school, the hospital, the fact that I got an rx for klonopin to help me if I am having some kind of anxiety attack waiting for my first set of test results.

I have 8 weeks, by the way.

How are you Lil?

Renarde

lol!

Plenny, good to hear from you take care of yourself too!!

Lorelei, are you lurking? Fifth?

Most of your screen names are now in my autocorrect! Haha

Fishy, how are you doing?

Bird615

I like the way you explained that!

Kaneda8888

R E N A R D E : Woohoooo, 8 weeks !! Now that is racking them up ! And you've had to endure so much trauma of late as well.

F A NT A S T I C !

Bird615

Eight weeks, Renarde, is fantastic!!
And in spite of the trials you're experiencing right now.

It really is possible to stay sober through anything life can throw at us.

Renarde

Thanks guys. I'm so lucky to be a part of this class. That's what has gotten me to 8 weeks.