Class of September 2013 - Part 11
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
Originally Posted by FishnHippy 
Lillian I need another bedtime story cannot sleep
I'll have one ready next time.
My dad is 70, drank his whole life. His health is a mess. He may still be here on this earth, but he has diabetes and alcoholic cardiac myopathy - a major heart problem caused by alcohol. Very frail...and he's still drinking.
That whiskey isn't your friend Fish.
I have Scooby Snacks...anyone want one??!
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
Originally Posted by Uninvited
You know how everybody says to just "think the drink through to the end"? Well that never really helped me. Because I don't end up in a blacked out stupor buying drinks for the whole town and then sleeping on the neighbors lawn. And maybe I am actually different in some ways because I drank the same amount during the same time every day for many years. It really didn't seem to escalate in terms of amount consumed or behavior. What did escalate was how poorly my body reacted to the punishment and how isolated I became.
I have a point I'm getting to don't worry. I know I could drink today and it probably wouldn't end up in a calamitous disaster. I would stop after a bunch of drinks and pass out in bed. What is hard for me to stop is the pattern. If I drink today it's almost certain I will drink tomorrow too. And the next day. And that leads to a month or six months. What I know for certain is my body at my age cannot keep this up for long so at some point in the next year or so it will lead me back here. Miserable and desperate and fighting every hour of day 2. It's a certainty. The drink turning into an immediate disaster is not likely, but me trying desperately to regain sobriety again in the future is certain. And I really don't want to do this again. At 32 days it's still not easy.
So I'm using this to "think the drink to the end". It's a bit further out than perhaps most but it's the only way it works for me.
I have a point I'm getting to don't worry. I know I could drink today and it probably wouldn't end up in a calamitous disaster. I would stop after a bunch of drinks and pass out in bed. What is hard for me to stop is the pattern. If I drink today it's almost certain I will drink tomorrow too. And the next day. And that leads to a month or six months. What I know for certain is my body at my age cannot keep this up for long so at some point in the next year or so it will lead me back here. Miserable and desperate and fighting every hour of day 2. It's a certainty. The drink turning into an immediate disaster is not likely, but me trying desperately to regain sobriety again in the future is certain. And I really don't want to do this again. At 32 days it's still not easy.
So I'm using this to "think the drink to the end". It's a bit further out than perhaps most but it's the only way it works for me.
Although, the monster was growing. And the drink in my hand was constant. I couldn't be at home without having one poured.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 1,149
A few years ago I managed 5 months sober.
About the 3 month mark, I decided that I would have a drink if I made it till July 1st (first day of my annual 4 week vacation).
I circled the date on my wall calender with a big red circle.
Looked at that calender every day with great anticipation.
Come July 1st I had a six pack of good European beer.
Totally enjoyed it, wow did I ever.
No hangover the next day, no problems wanting more that evening.
Of course the next day I got another 6 pack.
The day after that ...a 12 pack.
I drank every day during my holiday, and every single day for the next year till
I came to my senses again.
Here is an awesome video of Craig Ferguson talking about his alcoholism:
Craig Ferguson Speaks From The Heart - YouTube
I love it when he says, "I don't have a drinking problem. I have a thinking problem"
That's me... this video really helped me out and I hope it does for someone here.
Have a great day!
About the 3 month mark, I decided that I would have a drink if I made it till July 1st (first day of my annual 4 week vacation).
I circled the date on my wall calender with a big red circle.
Looked at that calender every day with great anticipation.
Come July 1st I had a six pack of good European beer.
Totally enjoyed it, wow did I ever.
No hangover the next day, no problems wanting more that evening.
Of course the next day I got another 6 pack.
The day after that ...a 12 pack.
I drank every day during my holiday, and every single day for the next year till
I came to my senses again.
Here is an awesome video of Craig Ferguson talking about his alcoholism:
Craig Ferguson Speaks From The Heart - YouTube
I love it when he says, "I don't have a drinking problem. I have a thinking problem"
That's me... this video really helped me out and I hope it does for someone here.
Have a great day!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Charlotte North Carolina
Posts: 1,195
Originally Posted by Hooped
A few years ago I managed 5 months sober.
About the 3 month mark, I decided that I would have a drink if I made it till July 1st (first day of my annual 4 week vacation).
I circled the date on my wall calender with a big red circle.
Looked at that calender every day with great anticipation.
Come July 1st I had a six pack of good European beer.
Totally enjoyed it, wow did I ever.
No hangover the next day, no problems wanting more that evening.
Of course the next day I got another 6 pack.
The day after that ...a 12 pack.
I drank every day during my holiday, and every single day for the next year till
I came to my senses again.
Here is an awesome video of Craig Ferguson talking about his alcoholism:
Craig Ferguson Speaks From The Heart - YouTube
I love it when he says, "I don't have a drinking problem. I have a thinking problem"
That's me... this video really helped me out and I hope it does for someone here.
Have a great day!
About the 3 month mark, I decided that I would have a drink if I made it till July 1st (first day of my annual 4 week vacation).
I circled the date on my wall calender with a big red circle.
Looked at that calender every day with great anticipation.
Come July 1st I had a six pack of good European beer.
Totally enjoyed it, wow did I ever.
No hangover the next day, no problems wanting more that evening.
Of course the next day I got another 6 pack.
The day after that ...a 12 pack.
I drank every day during my holiday, and every single day for the next year till
I came to my senses again.
Here is an awesome video of Craig Ferguson talking about his alcoholism:
Craig Ferguson Speaks From The Heart - YouTube
I love it when he says, "I don't have a drinking problem. I have a thinking problem"
That's me... this video really helped me out and I hope it does for someone here.
Have a great day!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Charlotte North Carolina
Posts: 1,195
I think a thing that is bugging me is a total of 38 out of 39 days I have been sober and I'm starting to realize to stay this way I have all these changes in my life to make I own a boat that at least 15 or 20 people weekend ride around with me basically my whole life has been molded around drinking activities football games NASCAR race team booze cruises. So I guess I have to start over I can only hide in my house for so long I cant even go hangout with my mom and step Dad within an hour we will be playing drinking games. Getting drunk and a playing butt darts. I actually feel like I'm getting too old to start over. So is this how it goes a total fish hippie makeover
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 1,149
I've got a boat here too Fish.
Don't know the laws where you are, but its pretty hillbilly around here.
Even so, get caught operating a boat drunk around here and they take your drivers license away, and impound your boat.
It's treated the same as a DUI with all the ramifications.
Don't know the laws where you are, but its pretty hillbilly around here.
Even so, get caught operating a boat drunk around here and they take your drivers license away, and impound your boat.
It's treated the same as a DUI with all the ramifications.
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
Originally Posted by FishnHippy
I have tickets for this weekend n_f_l game in charlotte panthers versus rams and I don't know what to do.
And Fish, it isn't going to be so painful forever. Eventually, you can be around drinking when you're stronger. It's just that right now it's too dangerous. This is your life Dude.
Have you ever been to an AA meeting? Maybe that might give you some comfort and focus....just like Craig Ferguson said.
I really liked that video Hoop. Thank you!
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
Originally Posted by FishnHippy
It just got worse for me I just found out my lifelong friend died coming back from Philadelphia cancer treatment on his way home today.
A drink won't help though. He'll still be gone when you wake up.
Fish I'm really worried about you. Can you call your boys and ask for help getting through this?
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