EternalQ

J555: You are sounding better... more hopeful maybe?

Viperidae

Canadian Thanksgiving??? Who knew? It's probably a lot more laid back than American Thanksgiving. I want some of that food whatever it is. I just looked, it looks about the same food wise but you guys cook up pumpkins? That's what the web site says.

I live in WASP Connecticut, so we sit around silently loathing each other eating turkey.

merchantsun

Checking in on day 55. Happy sober Sunday everyone!

Elseware

Welcome Dayover , and hello again, merchants in

Elseware

I have to stop posting from my phone. I meant Merchantsun

dayover

Hi everybody! I had a very long sleep last night. My emotions are still a bit jumbled from some stuff this week. I am up, have had my tea and toast, and now am going to take my dog for a walk.

I am in the midst of looking for a way back to my own apartment (I am about an hour away visiting family for the holiday) and don't have a car. Lol it kills me how my normal friends can say "oh I'll figure it out eventually, might bus, might hitch a ride with someone" meanwhile my anxiety is going 100MPH screaming that I better make a plan or I'm never going to go home and I'm going to drop out of school and everyone will hate me

How irrational I can be. Hope everyone is well

w2r

Day 20 for me! Starting to hit the bigger numbers.
As I read more and more, I am alarmed how people do so well, then suddenly start drinking again.

I'm still enjoying what seems to be a "new life". The world seems so crisp and new. Last evening I drove to one of my daughters for Thai food. There were 5 of us. My wife was too sick to go. They were drinking cold beers. I had no desire to join them. Driving home I was enjoying listening to satellite radio in total sobriety!

Turkey today. Only seven for dinner now, as we decided the 2 ninety year olds should not come to a house where the flu has been raging.

60 days Andrea! Way to go.
9 weeks is fantastic Sean!
And merchantsun at 55!
Elsewhere, you must be way up there as well!

Welcome Dayover, 68 days, congratulations!
Kadi, I'm sure joining in an early morning 5k was a GREAT start to a weekend!!
I have the book "Drinking, a love story" on the table next to me. I am only into it a few pages, Like foolsgold, I notice it is oriented towards the ladies. I took it out of the library, hoping my wife might notice it on my table, and start into it....

Johnny, its true, we also cook pumpkins.

foolsgold66

Read it anyway. Embrace your feminine side. You'll get interested and 'enjoy' it further in regardless.

Elseware

Hi friends, well, it's 44 days for me. I am still putting one foot ahead of the other. But at least I am doing that. It is now 44 days since I took my last Vicodin. It seems like a long time and short time all at once. I'm finding it difficult to do any thing. Almost like I'm paralyzed somehow. Much of my life used to be caught up in addict behavior and now I don't know what to do with myself. I've let myself get very isolated. It feels like I'm heading into the unknown and scared s*******. I don't have much will to do anything. One thing I AM doing and I'm enjoying is my daily walks. That's the one thing I seem to have any enthusiasm for. I'm up to 4 miles at a good clip and I actually feel good when I get back. I am doing my work and I went to the movies yesterday (Captain Phillips). This sounds pretty mundane and unexciting and that's exactly how it feels. I would give anything (except sobriety) to feel some joy or excitement. Or interest, even. I hope this passes or at least I stop fighting so hard for things to be different than they are. Boo! I'm a downer today.

w2r

Elsewhere, sorry to hear that you are down.
Sounds like you need to do something about the isolation. Are there people you could rope into forming a hiking club?? Part time job? Road trip\adventure.
Would one of Ernie Zelinski's books give you some ideas?:
https://www.google.ca/#q=the+joy+of+...ernie+zelinski

44 days! congratulations

kadidee

Elseware, the walks sound like great therapy, especially 4 miles/day. Wish I were so disciplined. I totally understand you on the re-learning to live without the drugs/alcohol. I've been struggling with that too. I keep telling myself that even though it feels like a long time to be off the booze, it's really early on in the process.

Question to you that you don't have to answer: Do you remember a period in your life where you felt joy or excitement or interest without alcohol or pills, and what was going on then? I've been asking myself the same thing.

Elseware

Thanks, Pals. In answer to your question about times when I felt joyful without any enhancement. First thing I thought was nothing was ever good but I've been sitting here mulling this over and I'm thinking there was a particular time when I was in college when I was really involved with my studies and doing very well. I got a lot of positive feelings from that. But I was drinking a lot in my off hours. Also, I've had some wonderful times on horseback. Riding trail. But I've also done some stupid, dangerous things on horseback while drinking. Much to the dismay of my poor body. And skiing. I've had some wonderful times skiing like the wind. But I've also done that drunk and stoned. But I remember doing these things while completely sober and it was JOYFUL!! ( and safer). And running. Many times I've been able to reach that Zen place while running. I can even feel joyful when I'm knitting. And swimming. I love to swim. And read. And good music. I'm going to keep thinking about good things instead of being stuck in this negativity. THANKS for helping me with this insight. I'm hoping this bad feeling might be just a space in recovery and in time it will be better. It feels good to remember these good things. I forgot they were there! Huh. Bored and isolated? Maybe a little depressed? Could be part of it. I can only go on from here. I actually tried to take my mare out for a little ride today but she turned up lame. Maybe I am just disappointed about that. I hope it's just her new shoes. (Vet bills! Boo!)

One other thing. My friend invited me to go to Mexico with her for a few days next week. I've been on the fence about it. I'm going. Decided right now. I could use a few days of sun and surf with a good friend.

w2r

Sounds like some motivation happening there Elsewhere!


Hopefully your friend isn't into tequila....

Elseware

All that being said, I'm sure glad I don't have any pills right now.

SeanMc

Morning folks, hope you're okay. S

Sheknits

Elsewhere: I absolutely went through that negative phase and I'm betting there are going to be more of them but eventually fewer and farther between. Hold on tight to those memories of more positive times, soon they will become reality!

W2r I hope supper went well! We are doing ours Monday since I'm working nights all weekend, the mister is cooking in our home as well!

Johnny, merchantsun, Sean : hello! Happy to see you guys! Hope all is well!

Happy thanksgiving to my Canadian friends. I am so very thankful for this forum!

SeanMc

Hi folks.

Sometimes in the early evenings for a short while I get cravings. Usually not too bad but that's the risk time for me I guess, at the end of the day when I feel I want to relax. Any quick thoughts on dealing with this? Once I'm busy again they pass...

Sheknits

Going for a quick walk or having a glass of coke or some sort of fizzy drink works for me. Or tea. Tea helps too.

w2r

successful turkey dinner yesterday!
3 weeks today.
Took a nap each day this long weekend.
Were you people tired at 3 weeks?

Elseware

W2r, way to go with the turkey dinner! That would have been a hard one for me without the booze. Cooking like that is a talent. You did good!

Sean, that time of day still is hard for me, too. I think just making dinner is a big trigger for me. So besides turning into a person who " just eats things" or cooks something in the morning, I make sure I have something like a soda mixed with fruit juice and a lime slice to sip on in the late afternoon or early evening. Seems like something in my hand and something cold and wet helps fill in the gap. I think it also helps to keep well hydrated during the day so you're not actually a little dehydrated and thirsty right about then.