Class of August 2013 - Part 6
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 257
Welcome FourSeasons. I remember you well from august. Nice to hear you are doing well.
I'm at a gorgeous resort in mexico. This is where I learned to drink to excess. I just could not resist it. I have been drinking here. Lots of excuses of course. It is mainly for my wife. We have 4 aged parents. My wife has been working hard with her father for weeks. He is in the hospital, probably wont get out. She has 3 siblings who are holding the fort while we are getting a week away. e-mail from my sister 2 days ago. My 97 yr old father was in emergency at 2 in the morning. Lots of "life" happening now. Just got our 3 children launched, lots going on there as well.
Thought I would let up for our vacation....but it is becoming obvious to me that I would have been better off not!!!
I don't want to confront my wife at this point.
I wanted to introduce her to SR, but, what if she finds all my posts??? That would ruin my only refuge.
I'm not worried though.
It will all work out!
I'm privledged to have met the people I have here at SR
(I'm startilng to sound like a real alcoholic..)
I'm at a gorgeous resort in mexico. This is where I learned to drink to excess. I just could not resist it. I have been drinking here. Lots of excuses of course. It is mainly for my wife. We have 4 aged parents. My wife has been working hard with her father for weeks. He is in the hospital, probably wont get out. She has 3 siblings who are holding the fort while we are getting a week away. e-mail from my sister 2 days ago. My 97 yr old father was in emergency at 2 in the morning. Lots of "life" happening now. Just got our 3 children launched, lots going on there as well.
Thought I would let up for our vacation....but it is becoming obvious to me that I would have been better off not!!!
I don't want to confront my wife at this point.
I wanted to introduce her to SR, but, what if she finds all my posts??? That would ruin my only refuge.
I'm not worried though.
It will all work out!
I'm privledged to have met the people I have here at SR
(I'm startilng to sound like a real alcoholic..)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 728
On a brIght note, are you guys starting to think about sober holidays this year? I have always loved Christmas ,but in recent years my family has got caught up in celebrating with several speciality drinks and wines??two years ago! I don't remember eating dinner???this year their will be no eggnog Xmas morning !no predinner happy hour!table wines or after dinner drinks! I am so happy to be getting back to the real meaning of Christmas and being a better example to grandchildren....
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Originally Posted by w2r 
Welcome FourSeasons. I remember you well from august. Nice to hear you are doing well.
I'm at a gorgeous resort in mexico. This is where I learned to drink to excess. I just could not resist it. I have been drinking here. Lots of excuses of course. It is mainly for my wife. We have 4 aged parents. My wife has been working hard with her father for weeks. He is in the hospital, probably wont get out. She has 3 siblings who are holding the fort while we are getting a week away. e-mail from my sister 2 days ago. My 97 yr old father was in emergency at 2 in the morning. Lots of "life" happening now. Just got our 3 children launched, lots going on there as well.
Thought I would let up for our vacation....but it is becoming obvious to me that I would have been better off not!!!
I don't want to confront my wife at this point.
I wanted to introduce her to SR, but, what if she finds all my posts??? That would ruin my only refuge.
I'm not worried though.
It will all work out!
I'm privledged to have met the people I have here at SR
(I'm startilng to sound like a real alcoholic..)
I'm at a gorgeous resort in mexico. This is where I learned to drink to excess. I just could not resist it. I have been drinking here. Lots of excuses of course. It is mainly for my wife. We have 4 aged parents. My wife has been working hard with her father for weeks. He is in the hospital, probably wont get out. She has 3 siblings who are holding the fort while we are getting a week away. e-mail from my sister 2 days ago. My 97 yr old father was in emergency at 2 in the morning. Lots of "life" happening now. Just got our 3 children launched, lots going on there as well.
Thought I would let up for our vacation....but it is becoming obvious to me that I would have been better off not!!!
I don't want to confront my wife at this point.
I wanted to introduce her to SR, but, what if she finds all my posts??? That would ruin my only refuge.
I'm not worried though.
It will all work out!
I'm privledged to have met the people I have here at SR
(I'm startilng to sound like a real alcoholic..)
The comments that I would think about are "drinking for your wife?" Having older parents even ones dying is not a reason to drink, in fact all the more reason to be sober so you can deal with the real emotions and logistics and stuff.
I hear ya on the old posts - I introduced my wife to SR and had the same fears. But I have come clean on my past and I think the value of this site is more important than me keeping it to myself and her reading my posts. She would also have to figure out my handle too (not my real name).
Once you can admit that you are a real alcoholic things get much easier…Holiday periods can be tough. Good luck.
Elseware - no worries on the name
All - thanks for encouragement - I will update as I go through. I understand…also my post about labeling myself a perfectionist is interesting. Realizing my flaws is important to my recovery, which just highlights how much work I need to do. Need to let this go too
Advbike - bought the book last night, can't wait to start reading…I had some severe trauma as a kid when I was 5 and 6 yrs old. Not my fault but I think there was much detachment and the void I have been trying to fill with addiction. In fact I blocked this out for 32 years - like really blocked it out and now its coming back - what I am using therapy to get to the bottom of - this is why your suggestion is so key to me. Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Oregon
Posts: 4,252
W2r. You are certainly experiencing life on life's terms right now. Aging family members are a real challenge. I have gone through this. Raising kids and taking care of my mom and grandma at the same time. Not easy. And I was drinking away. I am sorry to hear you have put aside your own goals for the time being and I hope you will come back to yourself once you get back to your home environment. I, too, was with heavy drinkers on my trip to Mexico but I for one, did not have any drinks ( or hangovers.) I even got offered heroin on the street. (?). ( I never thought I looked like a heroin addict even at my worst). Who knew? I know it is very hard to go against the flow of things when others around you have different ideas. So don't even begin to beat yourself up if you are inclined that way. I hope you will just get on with your sobriety. One thing I want to say about alcohol. For me, it got easier to be sober in the midst of others drinking as time went along. Me not drinking just became the norm. It gets easier the more you stick to not drinking. Aside from that, I hope you get home brown as a berry and refreshed and ready to take it on again. You CAN do this.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Elseware's response is much more eloquent than mine. You are not drinking for others, despite what you write...you are drinking for yourself to escape or whatever. I helped me to start with being honest with myself. Given the anonymity of SR I began being totally honest with all my comments - still am. I then started to move the honesty in my introspective analysis. This helped, as I discovered not only was I lying to people around me but often myself. This allowed me to start building (rock by rock) a foundation of honesty.
You are always going to have excuses. Some harder than others. Maybe you have not hit your bottom or its too high to make this a lasting change. Its alright and I for one welcome your posts as you go through this.
Ealry on I too projected on my wife and tried to fix her - in fact, I often rationalized my own problems by not "being as bad" as her. It too a month to realize I was afraid to look in the mirror and dealing with codependency issues.
Good luck and try to enjoy the vacation, sun, even the drinks but I am guessing since your are in and out of recovery you won't enjoy them. It funny how recovery ruins one's drinking career:-)
You are always going to have excuses. Some harder than others. Maybe you have not hit your bottom or its too high to make this a lasting change. Its alright and I for one welcome your posts as you go through this.
Ealry on I too projected on my wife and tried to fix her - in fact, I often rationalized my own problems by not "being as bad" as her. It too a month to realize I was afraid to look in the mirror and dealing with codependency issues.
Good luck and try to enjoy the vacation, sun, even the drinks but I am guessing since your are in and out of recovery you won't enjoy them. It funny how recovery ruins one's drinking career:-)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 341
Welcome FourSeasons. It is great to have you back with us. Congrats on your sober time.
w2r - I am sorry you are still struggling. I hope you get your strength back once you get home and get back on the sober train. I am cheering for you big time. I know you can do this if you really set your mind to it. It can be challenging when someone else in the home drinks. I experienced a little of this this past weekend, but I survived and didn't drink although I was very tempted and uncomfortable. I have hope and faith in you and I hope you have the same for yourself. Wishing you all my best.
On another note, I poured the left over beers out last night that hubby bought this weekend. I knew he wouldn't drink them. A six pack can last him several weeks. I don't see the point, but than again I am an alcoholic and he is not.
I hope everyone has a a peaceful and sober weekend.
w2r - I am sorry you are still struggling. I hope you get your strength back once you get home and get back on the sober train. I am cheering for you big time. I know you can do this if you really set your mind to it. It can be challenging when someone else in the home drinks. I experienced a little of this this past weekend, but I survived and didn't drink although I was very tempted and uncomfortable. I have hope and faith in you and I hope you have the same for yourself. Wishing you all my best.
On another note, I poured the left over beers out last night that hubby bought this weekend. I knew he wouldn't drink them. A six pack can last him several weeks. I don't see the point, but than again I am an alcoholic and he is not.
I hope everyone has a a peaceful and sober weekend.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 728
Originally Posted by Serenity1972
Welcome FourSeasons. It is great to have you back with us. Congrats on your sober time.
w2r - I am sorry you are still struggling. I hope you get your strength back once you get home and get back on the sober train. I am cheering for you big time. I know you can do this if you really set your mind to it. It can be challenging when someone else in the home drinks. I experienced a little of this this past weekend, but I survived and didn't drink although I was very tempted and uncomfortable. I have hope and faith in you and I hope you have the same for yourself. Wishing you all my best.
On another note, I poured the left over beers out last night that hubby bought this weekend. I knew he wouldn't drink them. A six pack can last him several weeks. I don't see the point, but than again I am an alcoholic and he is not.
I hope everyone has a a peaceful and sober weekend.
w2r - I am sorry you are still struggling. I hope you get your strength back once you get home and get back on the sober train. I am cheering for you big time. I know you can do this if you really set your mind to it. It can be challenging when someone else in the home drinks. I experienced a little of this this past weekend, but I survived and didn't drink although I was very tempted and uncomfortable. I have hope and faith in you and I hope you have the same for yourself. Wishing you all my best.
On another note, I poured the left over beers out last night that hubby bought this weekend. I knew he wouldn't drink them. A six pack can last him several weeks. I don't see the point, but than again I am an alcoholic and he is not.
I hope everyone has a a peaceful and sober weekend.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,791
Serenity, if that is what you needed to do to keep those beers from bugging you, then I'm sure hubby can manage to deal with the loss...
I've gone back and forth on asking my wife to keep alcohol out of the house. We've discussed it but I've not formally asked her to do so. It is her house too, and to be honest, if she has one too many I'd rather she do it here than possibly driving that way...
I've gone back and forth on asking my wife to keep alcohol out of the house. We've discussed it but I've not formally asked her to do so. It is her house too, and to be honest, if she has one too many I'd rather she do it here than possibly driving that way...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 728
Hi everyone. It's a sunny cold day today on the coast of Maine..last night I came home from my partime post retirement job to know TV. , hubby T hunting camp, built a wood fire, thought about for the first time in several weeks how nice a couple of fish bowls of wine would be....to my rescue I picked up my iPad and read your message! Jumped right back on track! Thanks for being there!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Morning, everyone! Oceanlady, congrats on getting over that hurdle. And now, you're enjoying another day in a beautiful place feeling good, thanks to sobriety. Way to go! Please enjoy the coast of Maine vicariously for us landlocked friends in SR.
You're right, Sean. Life on life's terms. On a more practical level, can you share how you have posted your pics here on SR? I'd like to share a couple of mine, but I when I go to the photo icon, it tells me to insert the hyperlink. There has to be a different way, right?
Off to the Y, and then headed back to Wisconsin to see my family and continue working on a furniture restoration project with my father. We're nearing completion! Tonight, my brother is making poncit, a Filipino dish that is also my favorite. The paradox is there -- thinking of people in the Philippines today.
Be strong and be well, classmates.
You're right, Sean. Life on life's terms. On a more practical level, can you share how you have posted your pics here on SR? I'd like to share a couple of mine, but I when I go to the photo icon, it tells me to insert the hyperlink. There has to be a different way, right?
Off to the Y, and then headed back to Wisconsin to see my family and continue working on a furniture restoration project with my father. We're nearing completion! Tonight, my brother is making poncit, a Filipino dish that is also my favorite. The paradox is there -- thinking of people in the Philippines today.
Be strong and be well, classmates.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Originally Posted by kadidee
Hi all, welcome back FourSeasons! I've been introvert girl lately so not posting much, but keeping up with you all daily.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Originally Posted by Venecia
Morning, everyone! Oceanlady, congrats on getting over that hurdle. And now, you're enjoying another day in a beautiful place feeling good, thanks to sobriety. Way to go! Please enjoy the coast of Maine vicariously for us landlocked friends in SR.
You're right, Sean. Life on life's terms. On a more practical level, can you share how you have posted your pics here on SR? I'd like to share a couple of mine, but I when I go to the photo icon, it tells me to insert the hyperlink. There has to be a different way, right?
Off to the Y, and then headed back to Wisconsin to see my family and continue working on a furniture restoration project with my father. We're nearing completion! Tonight, my brother is making poncit, a Filipino dish that is also my favorite. The paradox is there -- thinking of people in the Philippines today.
Be strong and be well, classmates.
You're right, Sean. Life on life's terms. On a more practical level, can you share how you have posted your pics here on SR? I'd like to share a couple of mine, but I when I go to the photo icon, it tells me to insert the hyperlink. There has to be a different way, right?
Off to the Y, and then headed back to Wisconsin to see my family and continue working on a furniture restoration project with my father. We're nearing completion! Tonight, my brother is making poncit, a Filipino dish that is also my favorite. The paradox is there -- thinking of people in the Philippines today.
Be strong and be well, classmates.
Also wanted to thank you for the suggestion on the gym. I got off my lazy butt yesterday and found a new small gym near my place here and signed up. Had a great workout too - a bit sore today
Best part is that the price was very reasonable since it's not one of those fancy athletic clubs but more of just a basic gym, and it has other locations, including near my other place in Portland! So no excuses! Ha ha, thanks!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 264
Hey everyone!
Congrats on your strength ocean lady!
Venecia, I work with many Filipino nurses, one of which is a great friend, I work nights with her tonight and am going to have to ask her about this dish you speak of. I'm slowly learning some choice words in Filipino ( mostly just the national language but some of the different dialects) Of course they are the kinds of words and phrases that I likely wouldn't want to repeat very often. Haha!
W2r- wishing you tons of success
I'm working nights all weekend and this stretch of nights has completely surprised me. I'm finding all of the sudden that I require much less rest prior to my shift, am energetic through most of it, and sleep much better afterward. I must finally be getting over the "exhausted" phase of sobriety! Only took me 89 days!
Congrats on your strength ocean lady!
Venecia, I work with many Filipino nurses, one of which is a great friend, I work nights with her tonight and am going to have to ask her about this dish you speak of. I'm slowly learning some choice words in Filipino ( mostly just the national language but some of the different dialects) Of course they are the kinds of words and phrases that I likely wouldn't want to repeat very often. Haha!
W2r- wishing you tons of success
I'm working nights all weekend and this stretch of nights has completely surprised me. I'm finding all of the sudden that I require much less rest prior to my shift, am energetic through most of it, and sleep much better afterward. I must finally be getting over the "exhausted" phase of sobriety! Only took me 89 days!
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