SoberMarathon

I just don't know what's left to do other than maybe rehab? I don't think I need rehab though. I did this before using AA and SR and screwed up when I didn't better refuse that drink. That's all it took was one and I was back in. If that one drink ever comes near me again and it will, I have a list of people to call.

Detoxing now and it sucks...need to get to day 2. Still just under 24hr mark.

Dee74

I find recovery can be improved by looking at two main areas - more support, and more change - in your life, your decisions, and the way you see yourself.

when I quoted your post I did it for a reason - I think you need to focus on that screwing up phase...why does it happen? what can you do about it?.

D

SoberMarathon

This time I screwed up because I didn't want to be different or awkward and refuse a drink from a senior person who could end up as my boss. I had the wine not because I wanted to but because I wanted to impress. From there, my sobriety broke and I allowed myself more and more booze and ended up drunk 5 straight days. By day 5 I realized what had happened and then shut it down, easing off with just a few drinks and now none. There is little to no chance of relapse until I'm put in the same situation. Next time, I'm refusing and then calling my sponsor - I have 3 sponsors one of whom has 20yrs sobriety. My wife or mom could be final choices.

I know exactly why I failed or how anyways and now what I can do about it next time. Thanks for helping me see that. I don't have much practice refusing drinks. This needs to become second nature.

secretary

95 days sober. I'm so much happier now, little did know. I'm off 2 medications and my blood pressure is once again low. My question now is, why do people drink?

Dee74

congratultions on your sober time Secretary

D

Ladybug2

Hi all,

Day 63 and still plugging along. Great job on 95 days Secretary! It really is amazing how much healthier our bodies can be without alcohol. I think what I miss the most is the anticipation of drinking. I don't miss the actual drinking because I usually drank so fast that I would quickly bypass that 'buzzed" feeling and just black out. I certainly don't miss the sneaking around, lying and hangovers. Anyway, just my thinking for the day.

Hope you all are doing well!

SoberMarathon

How did i get here? Rock bottom drunk is how I feel and see me. Trying to fall asleep....so tough...sorry I'm incoherent. Miss the sober life:-( ok...try to sleep again now...

EternalQ

Hi i really identified with this.. I know what you mean. I was very nervous about this for months after quitting. What I did is I actually practiced aloud different things I could say and also what I'd order instead. I also imagined how I'd feel if somebody else said "No drink for me" or "none tonight thanks" or a myriad of other responses. I realized if someone else there said none for me and ordered something else how I wouldn t care and how really almost no one would care much if I did.

And if they did care, that still would not be allowed to take precedent over the commitment I've made to myself.

No one knows better what's best for me regarding drinking, then I do!

LiveLikeGold6

Were you saying you got drunk again SM? On the recovery part how you approach it is up to you. There's many methods. Someone told me once that you just have to know for yourself that your done. Then change your behavior accordingly, don't tempt yourself, etc. Try any and everything you can because in the end it will be worth it to be sober for a marathon

trikyriky

69 days , congratulations

Tr

Humbug

I got in the same problem two weeks ago at a event with coworkers and family. The host keep insisting I have a drink and join them. At first I made a excuse that I feel sick and my stomach hurts. That didn't work so I finally said in a alcoholic it's very shameful to admit this but I'm taking great priding in being sober. The host never bothered me asking if I wanted any drinks anymore and still had a good time.

SnoozyQ

Wow Humbug ...
Good on you for keeping it real.

I dont think i could be that strong , i would feel degraded somehow .

Most people just have total misconceptions about what or who an alcoholic is about.
They don't realise that we are all one and the same.

I realised that i am NO different to the upper class woman in her brand new suv , who drinks her wine out of the best crystal.

Class does not discriminate.

Im proud of you for being true to yourself
:-)

SoberMarathon

Hi guys. I'm still alive and now on day 2. Gotta get these kids ready and then get to work. Thanks for your support last night. Withdrawal was bad but seems done now. I can never have another drink or I will die. I know that...

Croissant

Hi SoberMarathon. To Dee's point, have you really looked at how you see yourself? And what your life looks like sober?

The 2 sentences say so much....and please don't take this as a criticism....I nearly fell off the wagon a couple of weeks ago and realised I had to reset a few goals and how I imagine a sober life, so we are all in this together, but...

- feeling different or awkward about refusing a drinking in front of a senior person? ...I see people at business meetings who don't drink as being in control and professional. If there is a question of 'hospitality' to share a drink, you must have enough resources to be able to excuse yourself from a drink, or it's never going to work. It's acceptable to say you are taking medication, getting over a stomach virus, whatever. It's even ok to say you not drink much anymore, it's been giving you really bad headaches. That's my go to, because it's permanent, you only have to say it once.

- you had the wine because you wanted to impress, but deep down, after that first drink, did you just really want to drink and thought you could do it for five days without your wife knowing? You know, all that weird background noise the AV makes, we've all been there. I think until you really honestly examine what your thoughts were in the lead up, and how to respond to them in the interests of sobriety, then you won't get a solution.

I definitely feel there are 2 versions of me, and I feel like sober me is winning now and there's no place for alcohol in the life I imagine for myself. Your wife also mentioned 2 versions of you. Empowering Your Sober Self isn't a bad read, mate....maybe some tips in there.

SoberMarathon

My friends, family, and coworkers know I'm an alcoholic. I will just have to be forceful next time and also start practicing ahead of those situations. I can and will do this. 2013 is the year I struggled to get sober and October 2nd at 30,000 feet I took that final sip and saved the bottle. I'm sure by Monday I will feel much better and this will just be a bump in my road to sobriety.

SoberMarathon

Thanks for all the valuable feedback, croissant. I see myself as someone with massive potential but also someone throws it all away for his addiction to alcohol. I was raised as a binge drinker and now this is on the verge of costing me everything. I have run out of last chances and the ability to cope with drinking related consequences. I want people to respect me and be proud of me - now many just laugh and say, 'what an idiot'. Time to re-write the dash between my birth and eventual death. This double-life is over, I have said goodbye. I'm going to use marathon training as my excuse for never drinking. This will be partly true of course. If people pressure me, I'm going to the bathroom and calling a sponsor if I feel tempted or awkward.

forabetterlife

Sobermarathon, I am right here with you, doing this for the umpteenth time but determined to get it right this time. Enough is enough.
Today is my birthday. I "shouldve been" 2 1/2 months.sober by now but Im only on my second day, again. Ridiculous as it sounds, the stress of not drinking on this trip (a trip I am sooo grateful to be on ) led me to drink Sun until Wed nights. I even wrote on here that I KNOW I wont drink before the trip. Bottom line... I listened to my AV that told me Im going drink on the trip so I might as well start now. So I traveled hungover and spent much.of my day yesterday soul searching to find a way to turn this around.
And I will.. I am waking up sober and hangover free on my 43rd birthday and it will stay that way. Theres nothing to be afraid of, I am the only one in control of this and I will NOT drink tonight at the wedding or tmrw with my friends. I have a rental car.and will be glad to.be the DD.
This is it for me. There are no more excuses or exceptions. I am starting this year of my.life off the only way that works for me and the right way. My best friend lost her life to cancer at 43 this summer. I am grateful to still be alive and I want to make the most of it.
I feel like I dont belong in this class anymore but you guys feel.so right to me, I feel like I know you. And to be honest , I think right now I need you.

SoberMarathon

Hi FBL...happy 43rd!!
I can't believe we both stumbled at almost exactly the same time, both while traveling. I was sober from July 15th-Sept 26th. I had one small glass of wine and then done, full on binge. I am back from my trip went in this morning, took care of a bunch of emails and now I'm at home, emailing for work, teleconferencing, and recovering on SR. I walked around hungover for days this week as well. Terrible withdrawals on the airplane and last night too. I'm getting stronger now and the smell of booze is gone. Next Thursday I have an outing and a dinner with work people. I can't wait to go there and remain drink-free. Next month, I have a big meeting in Cali and there will be lots of booze around. 3yrs ago, I went to the same meeting and nearly lost my job and marriage for the way I acted as a result of being drunk nearly the whole time. This time I can't wait to prove that I'm not a drunk, anymore. For me, self-image and the way other people view me is so important. Time to start acting like a professional person who loves his wife and family, all the time. This week, alcohol took all that from me and made me act in ways and do things that I'll always regret.

FBL - let's make this work forever this time. Class of July understands that we are human and still dedicated to the fight. We just had brief slips but have gotten right back up and learned from them. If you want to chat in real time, we can do that also. As you can see from all my posts, I'm glued to SR now as I really need the support.

resolute50

Thanks Ricky,
70 days now. I'm already lining up some projects for the weekend.
It seems the more I have to do the less I think about drinking. One weekend I spent an hour or so just sitting in my screen house watching the birds,butterflies and sipping some seltzer water. Got this crazy thought of how nice it would be to add something to that seltzer to "relax" more.

It was a beautiful day and I was relaxing.Why would I need anything else?
Seems that AV can creep up at any time and any where.

resolute50

FBL,



Oh,please stay in this class.
You add a lot to the conversation and recovery.