Class of October 2013
I had many false starts before I found this forum - it's brilliant 
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 472
Hi everyone
I'm starting all over again after 60+ days sober!! i was doing so well and then I drank a glass of wine.....only one, but I obsessed over that glass of wine for days! Then I succumbed and bought a bottle, then another and drank for 5 days. So to cut a long and boring story short, here I am again on DAY 3 again!
Many will ask what am I going to do different this time around and to be honest I don't know what I can do other than join AA - which I don't particularly want to do. Before I started drinking again I was strong, happy, positive looked and felt good - but then I went and ruined it all.
So for everyone starting this journey, my advise is always stay vigilant, never think that you can handle drinking in moderation. Never give in to even one drink.
Fortunately, I have seen the light after only a few days of drinking. I stood on the scales and saw that I was putting on the lbs again, I was looking tired and felt horrible. So the journey begins.
Good luck.
I'm starting all over again after 60+ days sober!! i was doing so well and then I drank a glass of wine.....only one, but I obsessed over that glass of wine for days! Then I succumbed and bought a bottle, then another and drank for 5 days. So to cut a long and boring story short, here I am again on DAY 3 again!
Many will ask what am I going to do different this time around and to be honest I don't know what I can do other than join AA - which I don't particularly want to do. Before I started drinking again I was strong, happy, positive looked and felt good - but then I went and ruined it all.
So for everyone starting this journey, my advise is always stay vigilant, never think that you can handle drinking in moderation. Never give in to even one drink.
Fortunately, I have seen the light after only a few days of drinking. I stood on the scales and saw that I was putting on the lbs again, I was looking tired and felt horrible. So the journey begins.
Good luck.
looking forward to getting back there and surpassing that number. Day3, one day at a time
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Aliso Viejo, CA
Posts: 863
Well, I'm making it thru day 1 ok. Went to the grocery store and got some of my favorite coffee and favorite soda. It's a must have so that I'll feel like I have something in my hand. No invites to go out anywhere so that made it easier to just stay in and think about my situation.
Hope you all are making it thru ok. Feel a bit hungover but not bad. Tomorrow will be better. Hopefully good enough to get back on my bike and do some cycling. No word from my husband since this morning. I just wish I knew if he was coming back or if he's done but there's nothing I can do about it.
Hope you all are making it thru ok. Feel a bit hungover but not bad. Tomorrow will be better. Hopefully good enough to get back on my bike and do some cycling. No word from my husband since this morning. I just wish I knew if he was coming back or if he's done but there's nothing I can do about it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: South East US
Posts: 426
Hi SkyeSea and Eternal, glad to see you septembers here with Tobies (Tobies, I like it Skye!)
MidnightBlue, ReadyAtLast, Lorelei, ChrisBen, and GhostFace: thanks for your posts. They provide me encouragement as I just start my quest for sobriety.
Hi Kramer. Nice job in the last half of September.
Hi joyousone. I quit on 9/30 but also had been reading posts for some time before. The September group got me thinking I really wanted to give this a go. I gotta get this on. I need this. Ready for a change. What's the definition of insanity? doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. (Albert Einstein)
Nomis, thanks for sharing your thoughts in reply. I certainly get the shame and guilt. I was in tears while writing my "introduction letter" and confronting myself with honesty. Today it feels cathartic though...nice.
SoberChristy, Pamel, dragon12, Itsmytime1234, they say there's no shame in falling off, but it takes a lot of courage to get back on. You all are brave.
Siesta, you've done it before. You can do it again. Wishing you the best tonight.
ctrl, thanks for the support.
Riverfriend, I can identify with your struggles. I hope you are giving it a good go today/tonight.
breakingthewave, hang in there. Try to remember all the positive things you've experienced over the past 10 days!
MidnightBlue, ReadyAtLast, Lorelei, ChrisBen, and GhostFace: thanks for your posts. They provide me encouragement as I just start my quest for sobriety.
Hi Kramer. Nice job in the last half of September.
Hi joyousone. I quit on 9/30 but also had been reading posts for some time before. The September group got me thinking I really wanted to give this a go. I gotta get this on. I need this. Ready for a change. What's the definition of insanity? doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. (Albert Einstein)
Nomis, thanks for sharing your thoughts in reply. I certainly get the shame and guilt. I was in tears while writing my "introduction letter" and confronting myself with honesty. Today it feels cathartic though...nice.
SoberChristy, Pamel, dragon12, Itsmytime1234, they say there's no shame in falling off, but it takes a lot of courage to get back on. You all are brave.
Siesta, you've done it before. You can do it again. Wishing you the best tonight.
ctrl, thanks for the support.
Riverfriend, I can identify with your struggles. I hope you are giving it a good go today/tonight.
breakingthewave, hang in there. Try to remember all the positive things you've experienced over the past 10 days!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: South East US
Posts: 426
As for me, I'm on day 2. Sleep was awful last night, but the sobriety was so worth it as wife and I spent night togehter and I got to see the babies in her tummy moving for the first time.
Tired tonight, hoping for a good night sleep. But maybe not too good; this is precisely where I start to feel strong and in control and then fall off...gotta stay vigilant.
Ready for day 3.
Thank you everyone.
Tired tonight, hoping for a good night sleep. But maybe not too good; this is precisely where I start to feel strong and in control and then fall off...gotta stay vigilant.
Ready for day 3.
Thank you everyone.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: South East US
Posts: 426
Originally Posted by Twochip3putt 
Hello Every one,
First post - started(again) yesterday - not sure how many more chances I have
First post - started(again) yesterday - not sure how many more chances I have
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Good evening to all.
Safe at home, a little wired, stomach still burning, but I can safely say I'm through with Day 1.
Victoria, thanks for sharing that thought about staying off the couch. Of late, I'd been going straight to my room and not coming out. Instead, I sat down and ate dinner. At a normal hour! And spoke for more than a few minutes with my kids, too. Little changes can make bigger change seem more doable. And I think all I can expect at this time.
As long as we keep moving forward...
Safe at home, a little wired, stomach still burning, but I can safely say I'm through with Day 1.
Victoria, thanks for sharing that thought about staying off the couch. Of late, I'd been going straight to my room and not coming out. Instead, I sat down and ate dinner. At a normal hour! And spoke for more than a few minutes with my kids, too. Little changes can make bigger change seem more doable. And I think all I can expect at this time.
As long as we keep moving forward...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Charlotte North Carolina
Posts: 1,195
Hello I'm from September 23 days something that made a big change for me was a YouTube video call drugged high on alcohol it makes you really think about your problem good luck everybody I feel better now than I did 23 days ago
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Driver,
Thanks for sharing your letter. As I was reading, I was nodding along in recognition. A few things in particular:
I hit on a similar recognition of the birth of my demon/beast. As a wee child I developed terrible asthma. I've always remembered my mother giving me a choice of whether to take the prescribed medication because of how "horribly" it affected me (I would get extremely jittery). But what I didn't remember until just recently was that I sometimes somewhat guiltily opted for the medication because I kinda liked those jitters. Weird, huh.
Me too! Did your mom try to make you not worry? Mine did, she tried to tease me out of it. And that only made me feel anxious that I wasn't "right." I've finally learned - somewhat - to live with the worry. I think. It's early days for me, like you. My thought is that I need to take my anxious energy and devote it to into something worth the brain power. (Sound advice from my generally-supportive-if-not-always-understanding partner.)
Wow! What an uncanny experience! But I don't find it fantastical at all. I may be deluded, but as things grew worse for me and the pull of the liquor became even stronger, I found myself automatically noticing people "like me." There was no particular demographic, and I (like many of us) rotated stores often enough to avoid recognizing anyone but the clerks, so it wasn't that.
In his book Rational Recovery, Jack Trimpey refers to the "mingling of beasts," explaining that our inner beast (addiction) is automatically attracted to the beasts of others. I believe that. And I think it is a good reason those of us who don't yet truly believe we will never drink again are best off avoiding situations when other folks are drinking.
Thanks for sharing your letter. As I was reading, I was nodding along in recognition. A few things in particular:
Originally Posted by Driver1
...my dear GGF would ask me to pour him his afternoon beers….and would always allow to me to have half of one of them.
I was hooked; I loved the taste!!!!
Loved the taste!!!!!!
Alas, the birth of my demon (but I had no clue at the time).
I was hooked; I loved the taste!!!!
Loved the taste!!!!!!
Alas, the birth of my demon (but I had no clue at the time).
Originally Posted by Driver1
I worry. A lot...about everything. I know I’m just wired this way…since I was a kid.
I remember my mother telling me as a young child that I was her “little worry wart”.
I remember my mother telling me as a young child that I was her “little worry wart”.
Originally Posted by Driver1
...I remember going to the public library one Saturday morning to do some work on my dissertation (about 13 years ago). A man who appeared to be homeless walked up to me while I was looking for a book and said, “how you be doin’ that with all the wine you be drinking?”
But his question lingered with me. How could this man possibly know anything about my drinking? I don’t drink wine, but still this complete stranger could see what no one else could see. Even what I couldn’t see. I was drinking too much. I was a drunk. Maybe this one man could actually see the demon that sits on my shoulder and whispers to me that “it is time to have a beer”.
I know that is a little fantastical. But I still wonder about this supernatural man who saw right through me.
But his question lingered with me. How could this man possibly know anything about my drinking? I don’t drink wine, but still this complete stranger could see what no one else could see. Even what I couldn’t see. I was drinking too much. I was a drunk. Maybe this one man could actually see the demon that sits on my shoulder and whispers to me that “it is time to have a beer”.
I know that is a little fantastical. But I still wonder about this supernatural man who saw right through me.
In his book Rational Recovery, Jack Trimpey refers to the "mingling of beasts," explaining that our inner beast (addiction) is automatically attracted to the beasts of others. I believe that. And I think it is a good reason those of us who don't yet truly believe we will never drink again are best off avoiding situations when other folks are drinking.
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