lorelei

Yes he did, its not the first time, we still share our marital home, so its tricky situation x

Tallia

Hugs rochele I can only imagine what having a little one also would be like xx

Just having really bad day today pressure from all sides got to me a bit work hospital kinda feel alone no other family friends well most were drinking buddies one just couldn't take I can longer be there for her at a drop of a hat.

Sorry I feel better tomorrow I am learning this feeling will pass drinking won't help

Emily2002

Didn't want to get out of bed today... face the day. Wondering if it has something to do with what I drank the night before last. It was just 3 ozs of vodka but perhaps it screwed with my system?

Of course, I don't see much to look forward to this week. That could have something to do with it. Tired, run down, and stressed with caring for mother-in-law and our job situations. Plan on being sober going forward so hoping and expecting that to help.

(((Lorelei))) Congrats on staying sober. Please, please, PLEASE continue to be kind to yourself. The fact that you've got bruises is worrisome. A row's one thing, but physical violence is wholly another. Trust me, I know. I don't know your situation, and easier said than done... but I don't stay in a relationship like that. Funny how, as much as we know it shouldn't ever happen, it's so easy to explain it away/rationalize. Kind of like drinking too much, really.

I'm trying to practice mindfulness, as well, Plenny. And when I say practice, I mean it. THAT'S my problem. I know for sure that bringing myself back to the moment helps immensely, but it's remembering when the "you know what" hits the fan that's the problem. I need these skills every day, but do I always use them? Of course, not! Let's work on replacing the mind numbing booze with breathing and focusing on the moment, together. My hope is that one day, it'll become second nature for both of us to hit a more "natural" pause button.

I hope I get out of this funk.

bridgeeboo2006

Lorelei u are so sweet and always keeping track of everyone and offering support and praise. I really hope you are okay. I don't like hearing anything about abuse...mental or physical. I have experienced my share of both. Nobody deserves to b treated less than. If u need to talk...I'm here. Day 9 for me...going to go to my first aa meeting at noon!

lorelei

Thanks newleaf (()) I love that expression about getting out of this funk ♥

Tallia, I know its not quite the same but we are your friends, cyber cuddle xx

bridgeeboo2006

Hang in there New Leaf! Good plan to stay sober. My mother wud always say "this(funk) too shall pass". Chin up

Emily2002

Tallia.... Was it you I mentioned the book Co-Dependent No More to a few weeks ago? I can't remember as it seems a few of us here could benefit.

It's ingrained in me (since childhood) to help others to the point of self-destruction. This is one of the negative patterns in my life that I'm trying to break.

You ARE under so much stress... Perhaps mindfulness techniques will help? Plenny and are are supposed to be using them. Want to join us? Trying something new can be fun, actually. I'm going to my third yoga class tomorrow. My doctor recommended it for stress/high blood pressure, but I kept putting it off because i didn't think I'd be into it ... or be any good at it. Well... I can't hold some of the poses, but I'm actually enjoying it.

Mentium

I was just about to post this exact question.

lorelei

Sorry guys shouldn't have said anything, hope I haven't upset anyone x

abwvu1

Hang in there Lorelei. No woman deserves that. At all.

Thinking of you.

Dee74

I don't think I misinterpreted Plenny - I'm not worried for your sanity or anything, I just have to try and cover all bases as a mod, thats all

I worried about you though Lorelei - I know leaving any situation is hard, even abusive ones, but it sounds to me like this is an unsafe situation...there are avenues available to you like the following:

24-hour National Domestic Violence
Freephone Helpline
Home
Domestic Abuse Information
Welcome to National Centre for Domestic Violence - NCDV | NCDV
Women's Aid - the key national charity working to end domestic violence against women and children

any one of these might be useful to look at.
Violence is always unacceptable and should never be tolerated in my book.



Do you see a therapist or a counsellor NewLeaf?
D

Mentium

It isn't about upsetting anyone here - it is about your welfare. Please don't share anything you are uncomfortable with, but you know better than I how much people look out for each other here. I hope all is well and if it isn't you are doing something about it.

phoebe64

You should say something. We care for you and you are so supportive of others, maybe it is time to let others support you? I do hope you are safe.

Uninvited

I can't imagine even living with an exgirlfriend let alone an ex spouse who is abusive. I hope you are ok and can get out soon.

Day 9 and hating the long boring week of work staring me in the face. Also feeling inadequate about the whole self analysis thing you guys seem to be doing. Mindfulness just comes across as some psych Mumbo jumbo to me and it hurts my head to think about it. In some ways I'm like a mid 40s teenager. Very sad.

Dee74

not upset Lorelei - a little worried as I said, as I would be for anyone here - but I know you're an intelligent capable adult

Just wanted to give you a few options

D

Emily2002

I REALLY don't want to go to work today. Ugh.

Oh, well. Time to shower and head out.

GOOD DAY, ALL!!!!

FishnHippy

Day 15 here I'm feeling really good proud of myself making it to football game and not drinking yesterday. And I had a drinking dream last night and it's almost like a pee dream you wake up to oh no did I do that? lucky for me I didn't do either one haha.

bridgeeboo2006

Lorelei no apology is necessary...and u definitely should've said something. That is what happens to so many women and some men too...they keep quiet and say nothing. That's just what the abuser wants or if u do say something they make u think everyone will think your the crazy one...because usually they can charm the pants off anyone. Two exes of mine were exactly that way. Everybody loved them (so did I) but behind closed doors lied the ugly truth. It's a very difficult situation ur in and even more difficult to get out. They make u feel so worthless and helpless. But as Dee said there is help. Keep talking. And ditto on what Hippy said!!

bridgeeboo2006

Way to go Hippy...u scored a touchdown!!

phoebe64

Fishinhippy, you always make me chuckle! The pee dream! LOL.

I tried smoking for a bit as 13 year old. Very little, but I really liked it. It just was too hard to do and not get caught, so I stopped. I still can have dreams about smoking and liking it! It is strange because I actually detest smoking. I cannot stand to be around it anymore. It bothers me. Yet my brain still has that pleasurable association in its subconcious. Makes you realize the power of addictive substances. It makes me glad it wa sos hard fo rme to keep it up. I would be battling two addictions for sure.

Anyway, rambling a bit, but the drinking dreams always remind me of the smoking dreams I sometimes have.