Class of September 2013 part 6
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
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Good morning all. Day 29 for me and all is well. I feel extraordinarily lucky to have made it this far having tried so many times this last couple of years to quit. Not that there's time to be complacent!
All the best to those in their even earlier days. Honestly - if I can do it, considering the duration of my drinking problem and the level of dependency I have had - then there's nothing stopping almost anyone!
All the best to those in their even earlier days. Honestly - if I can do it, considering the duration of my drinking problem and the level of dependency I have had - then there's nothing stopping almost anyone!
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,242
morning all,
Enjoy that sun black.... x
Special shout out to Grindlow, Jimuk and fifth, you're v quiet hope you're ok!
Im not feeling the best today, feel v antsy and on edge, last nights row spilled into today, and ive got a few bruises to show for it, not going to drink cos I know it will make it worse but after a great weekend its floored me.
Anyway enough of me, hope everyone is well and sober septemberites xx
Enjoy that sun black.... x
Special shout out to Grindlow, Jimuk and fifth, you're v quiet hope you're ok!
Im not feeling the best today, feel v antsy and on edge, last nights row spilled into today, and ive got a few bruises to show for it, not going to drink cos I know it will make it worse but after a great weekend its floored me.
Anyway enough of me, hope everyone is well and sober septemberites xx
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 567
Good morning September crew hope you had nice weekend.
Feeling a little overwhelmed today being a carer for my dad who lives with me now can't be in his own totally anymore and working full time can sometimes drag me down into a pity party depression there's so much do do and remember with everything which is basically all down to me I get overwhelmed by the pressure there's no real break from it. Drinking was my escape. Wouldn't have it any other way love my dad to pieces and feel guilty even thinking like this which just adds to the depression ahhhhh.
Hubby is away so much feel isolated after weekend took him for pub lunch Saturday but apart from that been in all weekend it's easier than the looks I get if I go out without him. He's alone when I am in work so wants my full attention when I am at home it can be draining drinking makes me more sociable and chatty after a week in work. It's the first weekend sober without hubby and just come back from taking him to hospital appointment so won't finish work till after six to make up the time so think today just feeling it a little stressed out.
Anyways sorry for my rant sure I feel better soon I need Icecream or chocolate lol
Feeling a little overwhelmed today being a carer for my dad who lives with me now can't be in his own totally anymore and working full time can sometimes drag me down into a pity party depression there's so much do do and remember with everything which is basically all down to me I get overwhelmed by the pressure there's no real break from it. Drinking was my escape. Wouldn't have it any other way love my dad to pieces and feel guilty even thinking like this which just adds to the depression ahhhhh.
Hubby is away so much feel isolated after weekend took him for pub lunch Saturday but apart from that been in all weekend it's easier than the looks I get if I go out without him. He's alone when I am in work so wants my full attention when I am at home it can be draining drinking makes me more sociable and chatty after a week in work. It's the first weekend sober without hubby and just come back from taking him to hospital appointment so won't finish work till after six to make up the time so think today just feeling it a little stressed out.
Anyways sorry for my rant sure I feel better soon I need Icecream or chocolate lol
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Join Date: Jun 2013
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Morning tallia,
Wow, you have a lot on your plate, no wonder you needed some respite....now alcohol is out, what else can you do to relax, what doyou enjoy, it must be so hard being a carer, being so self sacrificing, and yes, he's your Dad and you love him, but you are still you, don't feel bad, I think its natural to feel guilty in these circumstances, but its also natural to need some time out.
Try and think of some news ways to relax, otherwise the pull to our arch enemy will be harder to resist,
Sending you hugs xxx
Wow, you have a lot on your plate, no wonder you needed some respite....now alcohol is out, what else can you do to relax, what doyou enjoy, it must be so hard being a carer, being so self sacrificing, and yes, he's your Dad and you love him, but you are still you, don't feel bad, I think its natural to feel guilty in these circumstances, but its also natural to need some time out.
Try and think of some news ways to relax, otherwise the pull to our arch enemy will be harder to resist,
Sending you hugs xxx
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: UK
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Thanks lorelei sorry about the argument with your ex hope he didn't give u the bruises he's an ex for a reason xx
I think that's half my problem I really don't know know what I do like anymore spend so much time making others happy I just chill out with wine. I have made a list and will try to do some things off it I need to learn to be a little selfish when there's another john Wayne film on I will read instead of sitting through it wine did make any film watchable lol
I think that's half my problem I really don't know know what I do like anymore spend so much time making others happy I just chill out with wine. I have made a list and will try to do some things off it I need to learn to be a little selfish when there's another john Wayne film on I will read instead of sitting through it wine did make any film watchable lol
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,737
Originally Posted by Renarde 
Plenny, do you have a therapist? I think that might be helpful in dealing with your fear of feelings. (((Plenny)))
Yes I have a therapist I've been seeing for about six years now. I was talking about the fear in the context of another subject, mainly the subject of "letting go," and exactly how one does it. My mental chatter has been greatly improved with therapy and sobriety, and actual physical distance from my abusers. This is a lifelong process. This just happens to be a part of me I'm sharing within a conversation about breathing exercises and mindfulness, something I've always had trouble practicing because of the constant mind grind.
This will always be there for me. Especially since I don't silence with drugs and alcohol anymore. I just need tools to work with it.
So I started a discussion about letting go, wondering if anyone has advice on exactly how to do that.
I'd love to hear if you or anybody else has input on the subject, I suspect it's something many of us have contemplated over the years...
Thanks for the advice
Plenny
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Join Date: Jun 2013
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Lol tallia, I know what you mean, you've kinda lost yourself a little bit, is there an evening you could get out, join some kind of group, or course, or even an online course , im trying to fill my time with Mindfulness books and cds, rediscover YOU. ♡
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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Oh, the talk about feelings was about feeling overwhelmed and controlled by them. I'm sort of not experiencing joy or grief at the same time though. It's very tough to explain. I'm not afraid of feelings, I actually have to scale back how much credit I give feelings like guilt, worry, obsession.
I had to become very retentive in my youth to cope with unwanted thoughts. So I drank a lot to get some peace. Now I'm trying to get peace without. It's gotten much easier in sobriety, as over the years the alcohol affected me adversely.
I had to become very retentive in my youth to cope with unwanted thoughts. So I drank a lot to get some peace. Now I'm trying to get peace without. It's gotten much easier in sobriety, as over the years the alcohol affected me adversely.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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Originally Posted by Dee74
naturally if you're scared or concerned about anything it's probably a good idea to see someone about it...but my brain was pretty messed up for a little while after I stopped drinking and got into recovery, plenny 
D
D
But I'm trying to define the skills I need - or might already be using - because I know there will be a time I really need them.
Of course my therapist tells me to just "let go," and "be present," and we talk about breathing and mindfulness. I struggle with focus - just a side note - and it's just challenging for me.
I guess I just wanted to clarify what I was saying, it seems like something was miscommunicated...
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Join Date: Dec 2010
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Lorelai, I hope you are okay! I do not like this talk of bruises. Maybe a restraining order is needed? Please do be careful, and (((((HUGS))))).
Tallia, I also cared for my father for 3 years, but he did not live in my home. I drove to his house to help him, then he had to go to assisted living nd eventually a nursing home. My boy was 4 and dad was too needy with dmentia to have him and be able to watch both him and my youngest safely all the time. Juggling all that time and the feelings of guilt for not doing all things perfectly for anyone is a tremendous strain. It also isolated me from my friendships, because I was either too busy or too tired to see frinds. Or too depressed. Then I had his sister for a year. Eventually she lived here for several months as she recovered from a catastrophic injury. She was not an easy houseguest.
Try to take care of you and keep your sense of self. I wish I did!
Tallia, I also cared for my father for 3 years, but he did not live in my home. I drove to his house to help him, then he had to go to assisted living nd eventually a nursing home. My boy was 4 and dad was too needy with dmentia to have him and be able to watch both him and my youngest safely all the time. Juggling all that time and the feelings of guilt for not doing all things perfectly for anyone is a tremendous strain. It also isolated me from my friendships, because I was either too busy or too tired to see frinds. Or too depressed. Then I had his sister for a year. Eventually she lived here for several months as she recovered from a catastrophic injury. She was not an easy houseguest.
Try to take care of you and keep your sense of self. I wish I did!
look after yourself first priority Lorelei !
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Join Date: Jun 2013
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Sorry plenny, i wasn't overlooking your posts, seems like you are already doing a lot to cope with your thoughts etc, is it something youve struggled with from being a young child, or teen yrs, sounds like its almost a reflex coping mechanism, its hard to break, but not impossible xx
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