Yoctopus

Just starting out day 14 here. Read through the last day or so of posts. So much action. Everyone on here is really supportive of each other, so I really don't have anything to add in terms of specifics. In general, it looks like we are all experiencing success and struggle at the same time. For me, I was out with my fiancé for her bday last night. We went to a very nice Israeli restaurant. I had read on YELP some of the reviews, and they specifically mentioned the restaurant carries an Israeli beer that is difficult to find here. That is exactly the kind of thing that triggers me. I mentioned the fact that they had this beer to my F. I was pouty and hopeful that she would permission me. I just wanted her to say "It's my bday, you should definitely toast me with a delicious beer." Instead she smiled and said nothing. I took that as a no and I moved on with my thinking. Ended up ordering "Sour cherry iced tea." It was also very good. The rest of the night was busy enough to avoid any more thought of drinking. It is hard to think about the "never again" piece, but I have NEVER been able to dink moderately. How do people do that. I am 0 to 60 in 2 seconds. If I drink one beer I have to drink 10.

The rest of the weekend looks busy as well. Things are developing and moving forward in a positive way with my F. She still hasn't forgiven me for what I have done in my alcoholic rages, but we are moving in the right direction. I think I will spend some time this morning free writing and then have a day out running errands. I hope everyone is doing well and feeling strong.

sunset01

I totally agree Black, my kids have missed out (sometimes I wish I could go back, unfortunately there's no do over's with this) so I'll try and make the most of whatever's left. Hopefully your mood will settle down with time, that's what I'm hoping too. Most of the time I just try to smile through it, cant be angry with everyone around me they didn't ask for me to do this to myself. Have to admit though it does get a little tiring at times. Just try to be patient with yourself, that's what I'm doing.

Rochele my partner drinks everyday too, I recognised that I would have to do this on my own, it's really hard, but not impossible. I'm really worried now that I'm sober what he's doing to himself! He wakes up just like I used to, I look at him and see myself. But he's got to come to the party himself, I cant push him...*sigh* breaks my heart, because he is a good man.

New Leaf thanks I did have a good day and I really enjoyed the icecream, sat and watched the game with my partner toying with the thought of drinking a beer, that's a trigger for me. Ate alot of icecream. The games finished we won.....another trigger, now eating wedges and sour cream....and it's past 11 here. I'll go to bed soon, wishing everyone well for the nxt 24hrs.....

Emily2002

That was last night, so put it behind you. What's done is done, but you can make it right by not allowing it to ruin tonight, as well. It sounds as if you're listening to the addictive voices rather than to the one that counts. Remember the one that sees all the wonderful possibilities ahead? The way out of your loneliness and boredom?

I think you're right, after all, that hitting that AA meeting and sharing with those three old guys is a good idea since you know Friday's are especially difficult. See? That's the Uninvited I mentioned earlier. You're brainstorming up some GOOD ideas, too.

Big hugs. Be gentle with yourself today and think about being tough tonight.

Emily2002

So glad, Sunset. About the day and the ice cream! You sound like you're beating yourself up over the food now, too. Over the years I've found myself overeating whenever I've cut back on the drinking. I'm working on this by trying to much on healthier stuff and drinking lighter non-alcolic drinks... mostly diet tonic, flavored seltzers, or water with a bit of fresh squeezed fruits and/or crushed fresh herbs.

I'm guessing you'll be so happy you made it through another tough night. I'm always so much more hopeful in the morning, at least.

Sweet dreams!

Emily2002

Is there a term for frequent, successive posts?

Like "post" bombing? Where's lorelei when I need her haha! I remember her being worried about this early on...

Really, though, I apologize. It's just that I rarely ever get on long enough most days.

CathieJ

Beginning of Day 16 for me. Feeling good about quitting drinking. Something seems to be working this time. Maybe it was the health scare a few weeks back. Noticing a difference in my health.

Tallia

Loving your posts thanks for being so supportive x

lifetplant

I second that. I've not been a big poster but i'm getting better and it's always so nice to see people supporting others. We're all battling but having the support and wise words helps with the battle. Post to your heart's content I say Newleaf.

phoebe64

Busy, busy, but reading through, I want to reach out to you, Uninvited. Stealing the bolding idea from Newleaf.

Make today an hew day and do not give into the voice tonight. We can be here together. I will check in while the girls giggle away and watch a movie. Okay? we can do this. it is a tough night of the week for me too.

fifth

Sorry friends I failed your trust in me. I'm half drunk with 4 pints and counting in my head. I am already taking precautions, it was a hard decision but I call my parents and my sister and brother not contact me any more, they are the biggest problem in my life, they find me only when they are in trouble, my father did that 3 days ago and did that again this morning sending me directly to my sh@t life. If I would die? my brother and sister would not even come to my funeral but when they have car accidents or money problems know who to call and that is me. My wife and beautiful daughter have just left home, I'm not sure if they will come back tonight, they could not hand see me in the condition I am, kicking the wall, desperate...this is not the life I want for them, this is not the life I want for me so big changes are coming up.

fifth

So fu@kin big changes

Tallia

Fifth hugs I can feel your pain xx

Drink water and try to sleep if you can, you can do it we understand here how hard it is though.

fifth

@Tallia - this is not hard this is Hell, this is hell....this is a start or an end for me

Oldselfagain

Fifth hang in there. Things CAN get better! We're all pulling for you.

Tallia

Make it a fresh start alcohol is a depressant. Do this for you, do things for you family/people sometimes take the ones closest for granted for they know of your struggles?

Jeni26

Hi all, just popping in to lend my support to you all this weekend.

Weekends were so hard for me too in the beginning. Huge cravings, lots of emotional ups and downs, and not much joy at all.

Take it one hour at a time if you need to, keep busy and keep hydrated. I promise you, this does get easier x

Fifth, stay with it. PM me if you want. Remember how it feels after a slip...that's not a place you want to go. Big hugs to those struggling xxx

Tallia

I remember how I felt after my last slip that things were helpless like I just wanted to crawl in a corner and cry. Felt I was a mess my life was a mess felt better after a few days but those first few days were hard but you can get there xx

Sulu1

I messed up last night so I'm back to day 1. Nothing major, feel okay today, making sure I learn from it!

samwitch

Uninvited--throw out the booze, don't listen to that voice that says you might was well drink today--it's a freaking liar. Just dust yourself off and move on.

Fifth--I'm so sorry. I know about family problems and ungratefulness. I feel for you buddy, but it will get better, I know you can get there. We're here for you.

Oldselfagain

Grind glad you're here. Don't worry about last night. Today is a new day.