DG0409

With all due respect Steve, I feel you're being rather unfair to the two people who responded to your post. Not everybody responds to every post. It's not as though you've responded to my post about feeling bad.

Also, you might be able to be more clear about wanting help. It wasn't clear to me from your post that you were at a place where you were really looking for help or support from us. You actually said you wanted to keep it to yourself. Sometimes if you want support you have to open up and let people know what's wrong.

courage2

Hi all undies --

Seems like a blue bug is hitting this thread. I just want to say to anybody who's struggling, feeling discouraged, or feeling like it isn't worth it -- the "Is this all there is?" thought that has made me want to pick up many times--

There's no peace and no lasting happiness to be gained from drinking,
The brief happiness alcohol can bring (or oblivion, alcohol stopped making me euphoric long before I stopped using it) is paid for 100 times over by harms it causes,
The problem is progressive, and you can never go back to the good times.

Whereas,

As I creep up on 9 months, I'm building new relationships and improving old ones,
I'm healthier mentally and physically,
And the baby steps I take every day, including the baby step of not drinking every day, are starting to accumulate to what seems like a better general approach to living.

I've stayed sober through my mother's death, a cancer scare, my son's graduation and move to another coast, and a major professional struggle. I don't consider those personal accomplishments or triumphs over alcoholism, but they've made me stronger.

Every painful experience that we live through, learn from, and pass beyond makes us stronger sober people. Be patient with life, even the painful parts. In AA they love acronyms -- are you going with F*** Everything And Run, or Face Everything and Recover?

courage2

PS sorry to be so preachy. I just needed to say, yes, it really does get better!

walkingwithgod

Hi Undies. Whatever you do don't drink, it's better than the alternative. I hope those struggling get their spirits lifted. This isn't an easy journey, but we have the courage to be successful. Feel free to PM if anyone wants to chat. You all mean very much to me, and I pray for you all daily.

stevie88

I wasn't referring to anyone in this thread DG.... I was referring to people in real life.... Perhaps I Should've made myself more clear or Perhaps in future I'll just keep my mouth shut.

courage2

Stevie I don't know you well, but I'd say SR can be a great place to start to work through issues w/people in real life. Get some rest first, tho.

Carlos, Gotham is good today, but chilly!

Drake, your experience sounds a lot like mine. I'm a longtime champion of negativity and nihilism. Any positives you hear from me are purely a product of SR and AA -- and I'm not complaining.

walkingwithgod

We care about you Steve, feel free to vent.

Dee74

nah keep talking Steve - misunderstandings happen with text - and if you don't let it out here, where mate?


Hope everyone is doing ok - I'll catch up eventually

D

DG0409

Steve- My apologies. Clearly I misinterpreted what you wrote. Please do continue to vent here when needed.

melivinsober

Stevie don't keep quiet. I love your posts. Even when they may seem negative someone will probably get something out of it or can at least relate. *hugs* i wish you strength my mucca!

melivinsober

Mb hi lady. I understand the harsh verbage to yourself. I've been doing that lately. Too. I have also been feeling like a dry drunk. I'm not sober so much as just not drinking. No matter how you feel right now your eleven months is impressive. sending you good vibes whenever i can.

melivinsober

Toots yay for six months. Hugs. Glad to know you

I've been so up and down. My bf and i are kinda rocky. He's stressed about finances and I'm a wreak. He won't let up on the put downs. I've had several talks with him but they only work for an hour. Sigh. But one moment ill bee screaming at him for hurting my feelings and the next I'm thanking him for doing something sweet like surprising me with dinner. I'm confused and tired. Sigh. Still no booze. I've started reading the aa book and picked up another group. I don't feel like i have time but i need to make it and i need to make sobriesobriety my top priority. Have a goodnight undies.

Dee74

congrats on 6 months Toots

D

dorothyparker

Stevie hang in there. We're here for you. Maybe it doesn't replace everyone you're helping but we're here.
When we feel depressed, the temptation is stronger so...chase it away please. The temptation I mean. And MB is right, tiredness makes everything look ******.

dorothyparker

I wrote my last thread on page 3 so here I am fully present after reading everyone's posts. Stevie, it was just a misunderstanding, which happens electronically. Please don't stop sharing. It's good we have smileys too, we can attenuate some harsh stuff.

Courage, you were very eloquent in explaining dark moods in relation to wanting to pick up a glass. It also helped me understand how progressive alcoholism is.

Whoever said, I think it was DG (??) that they were tired of always struggling to be "recovered", I totally empathise. It's a bit like a diet, after a while, we just want to say **** it and eat all we want. With booze, the surfing the crave seems like a good approach to chase away exasperation with trying so hard. Maybe we can say **** it in different ways, like with a nap or turning one's head off with a challenging book or good TV.

I've been terribly down today and I really felt like self-harming with booze. But I'm staying with the pain and trying to work though some harrowing aspects of my past. If anything, sobriety will have taught me humility and hopefully, in the long process that is recovery, forgiveness.

On a lighter note, Carlos, why does AA say not to have any sexual relationships before a year is over? I'm interested in understanding the reason behind that. And Carlos, your relapse after 11 years is always a good reminder that we're not so solid in our determination. Thank you.

Good night. I'm very lucky to count on you guys (and girls).
DP
xoxo

MidnightBlue

Hi, Undies. Quick morning check in from me. Don't feel good - I mean feel like I am getting cold, have to stop it because don't want it to mess up with my workouts - the major thing that keeps me afloat.

Stevie - I thought you are referring to "real life", but still , I believe it helps a lot to know that there are people who care about you and how you are feeling. I know I do.

Don't keep your mouth shut, come on, pal. It is not a sign of weakness to share your concerns and ask for help, but the opposite.

If you feel like sharing something I am still just one pm away, you know.

Wish everyone an unstressful Monday.

See you all later.

tootsl1

Steve, be strong mate, when our reserves are low, the fight can go out of us, that is when AV sees his opportunity to have another try. You won't listen, you have had bigger battles with the wee sh1te and won. Get some rest, come back and let of some major steam. X

DG and Mel, as you are experiencing, sobriety can throw relationships into the spotlight. Sometimes we may of actually continued drinking rather than face the reality of the nature of our relationship, I certainly did with my AEX. I didn't feel I could make the necessary changes, so I coped by getting drunk. It didn't work. I found the strength from somewhere to make the move, and it was the right thing to do, rather than the easy thing to do.

Both of you remember, you have one shot at life, you are making real changes now, giving yourselves a chance. As you say Mel, put your sobriety first, do what is right for you just now. And work on what is right for you long term. I would say never fear endings, hard as they are, they always herald new beginnings.

DP, I hope you are feeling stronger today.

Drake, WWG, your quiet support is immeasurable.

Carlos, what do you mean no relationships for a year?? Huh what's the point of me crossing the pond then! Haha, I met my now hubby just months after leaving my AEX. Totally bad timing, but I was not going to turn my back on the chance of love for that! We took things slowly, emotionally I was all over the place, but the daft beggar stuck by me for some reason, and is now lumbered! I don't believe there is a right or wrong time to find yourself caring for someone in a special way, as long as it is for the right reasons. Kudos on the rhyming by the way!

HD, I hope your weekend went well, busy with weddings again?

Courage, I didn't feel you were remotely preachy sweetheart, but I feel I must take you to task on one issue. You say you don't feel any of the stressful situations you have dealt with in recovery are a personal victory over alcohol??? Good grief woman, any one of those situations would have had you reaching for the bottle to hide behind in the past! Stand proud and tall, those are amazing achievements of sobriety in early recovery.

MB, love the pink gloves, I love the thought you are punching f*** out of AV everytime you hit that bag. Some days life feels immeasurable better. Other days the best you can say is you're still sober. Even a sh1te sober day is better than drinking. Hang in there.

Grace I hope you hade a good weekend sweetheart, we still have it windy up here.

B kind to yourselves Undies, new week, new start. Xx

MidnightBlue

Oh, great. It's morning and I have already have 37.2 C (99 F) fever. That's just what I really need now. WTF.

tootsl1

Oh MB, look after yourself honey, if you're ill, you're ill, don't try to ignore it. Sending healing vibes your way. X

Happyfeet

Checking in from Maryland on a beautiful morning. I love fall weather and sleeping with the windows open. Money down side is allergies this time of year.

Stevie- vent away! We all need a sounding board now and then. Much better than keeping it bottled up inside.

Not a great way to start the week. Hope you feel better soon.

Well, our real estate agent suggested we paint to freshen the house up. We finally finished and it really looks great. When we were finished I threw all the painting supplies away! Don't want to see another paint brush anytime soon!

Hope everyone has a great sober Monday.