One Year & Under Club Part 21
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cheshire, N.W England
Posts: 6,803
Got to do this posting in dribs and drabs
Tanja, you'll be fine on Sunday, I have no doubts about it at all..like Toots says, just be yourself and say it how it is. I know it I were a new member, meeting and listening to someone so genuine and caring as you would put me at ease immediately. Go give it your best.xxx
Gxx
Tanja, you'll be fine on Sunday, I have no doubts about it at all..like Toots says, just be yourself and say it how it is. I know it I were a new member, meeting and listening to someone so genuine and caring as you would put me at ease immediately. Go give it your best.xxx
Gxx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Aliso Viejo, CA
Posts: 863
Grace,
Thank you for the kind words, as always. I feel terrible for hurting my husband and I hope he gives me the opportunity to show him that I'm sorry.
BF, I'm so glad you are back on here too. I remember when you had 6 months. I was and am inspired by you and your resolve to keep coming back.
I'm very worried about being able to stay sober this time, but you all are such a help.
Hubby sent me a message last night that he hopes I'll be at our counseling session on Friday.
We've only been to one session and it was very hard for me because the counselor has been through AA and only wanted to focus on my drinking. It made me squirm on the couch to have both the counselor and my husband staring at me talking about how bad drinking is for a marriage. I don't disagree with them, but I had just relapsed and felt terrible about it. It was like my seven months of sobriety was completely overlooked. Before the session my husband told me he was ready to talk about all of his faults (he has a narcissistic personality disorder and doesn't know it, which I can't even begin to describe what it's like to live with), but when we were there, it was all about me. Scared to go back, but hoping I can at least get what I need from this counselor and try not to feel like I'm on trial.
Thank you for the kind words, as always. I feel terrible for hurting my husband and I hope he gives me the opportunity to show him that I'm sorry.
BF, I'm so glad you are back on here too. I remember when you had 6 months. I was and am inspired by you and your resolve to keep coming back.
I'm very worried about being able to stay sober this time, but you all are such a help.
Hubby sent me a message last night that he hopes I'll be at our counseling session on Friday.
We've only been to one session and it was very hard for me because the counselor has been through AA and only wanted to focus on my drinking. It made me squirm on the couch to have both the counselor and my husband staring at me talking about how bad drinking is for a marriage. I don't disagree with them, but I had just relapsed and felt terrible about it. It was like my seven months of sobriety was completely overlooked. Before the session my husband told me he was ready to talk about all of his faults (he has a narcissistic personality disorder and doesn't know it, which I can't even begin to describe what it's like to live with), but when we were there, it was all about me. Scared to go back, but hoping I can at least get what I need from this counselor and try not to feel like I'm on trial.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Farmington, NY
Posts: 232
WWG - remember that you can always excuse yourself for moment today to jump onto SR for some support if you need it.
Siesta - my marriage struggled due to my drinking as well. We had problems that were non-drinking related, sure. But they paled in comparison to the ones that I created by drinking. Really, to me, the first step to solving our problems came when I took the steps to ensure that there were two healthy, clear, focused people working together to grow the relationship. Our problems were relatively easy to tackle after that.
Siesta - my marriage struggled due to my drinking as well. We had problems that were non-drinking related, sure. But they paled in comparison to the ones that I created by drinking. Really, to me, the first step to solving our problems came when I took the steps to ensure that there were two healthy, clear, focused people working together to grow the relationship. Our problems were relatively easy to tackle after that.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cheshire, N.W England
Posts: 6,803
Toots, I'll be home before the post cards, but I'll share some photos when I get back. You sound like you had a good night the other night. Just proves that you can have fun without alcohol.
Matthew you'll be fine at the gathering, these are new people to you, just start as you mean to go on by saying you don't drink. If anyone should ask why, then tell them whatever you're comfortable with, I.e you're on a health mission and trying to get fit, you're allergic to alcohol, etc, etc. If you're really ready for it you could tell them that you're a recovering alcoholic. It's your business so go with what ever feels right. I'm betting you won't even get asked.
Steve, missing you and as usual you're working too many hours and being taken for granted. You must have been at that place for the best part of a year now. I really hope something better comes your way very soon. Keep eating and keep well.xxxxxxx
Matthew you'll be fine at the gathering, these are new people to you, just start as you mean to go on by saying you don't drink. If anyone should ask why, then tell them whatever you're comfortable with, I.e you're on a health mission and trying to get fit, you're allergic to alcohol, etc, etc. If you're really ready for it you could tell them that you're a recovering alcoholic. It's your business so go with what ever feels right. I'm betting you won't even get asked.
Steve, missing you and as usual you're working too many hours and being taken for granted. You must have been at that place for the best part of a year now. I really hope something better comes your way very soon. Keep eating and keep well.xxxxxxx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
Thanks for the four month congrats. Something changed in me when I walked into that first AA meeting on June 3rd. My blessings continued when I reconnected with SR in July. Meeting all of you on this Undies, Over-undies thread was the trifecta for me. If you bet on the horses, you know how difficult it is to pick a trifecta. Well, this is better than hitting a hundred in a row. My heartfelt sincere thanks to all undies, old and new, over and under.
Grace, I will be happy to play some air-guitar for all of you when the bus gets there. I'm thinkin something from my namesake, Carlos Santana, like "You Got To Change Your Evil Ways"...since I continue to try to accomplish that task.
Lastly, hey madbird (need to spell that out as we already have an MB)...I read on another site that today you celebrate one month sober. WooHoo to you, -3 (new nickname, same sober date minus 3 months). See Below: It's only virtual, but you for sure have earned it.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...1&d=1380822870
Grace, I will be happy to play some air-guitar for all of you when the bus gets there. I'm thinkin something from my namesake, Carlos Santana, like "You Got To Change Your Evil Ways"...since I continue to try to accomplish that task.
Lastly, hey madbird (need to spell that out as we already have an MB)...I read on another site that today you celebrate one month sober. WooHoo to you, -3 (new nickname, same sober date minus 3 months). See Below: It's only virtual, but you for sure have earned it.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...1&d=1380822870
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,166
Hi guys, I didn't have time before for a proper catch up so;
Carlos my man, I am so glad you stumbled across SR, your support, and experience and humour have helped many a newbie and old hand over a hurdle or two, so enjoy your day in the sun. Congratulations on four months.
WWG ditto Graces words of wisdom, and also Ctrl had a good point, check in here if you need a boost.
Madbird, mortified as I am by Dees comment, he has a point, some of us are a bit more go by than others! But speak up if there is anything you really want to say or ask
Roomsforall, we don't always get the proper chance to make amends and say we are sorry. And sometimes we have to accept that is ok. And let go. It can be hard, because by saying sorry and meaning it we are allowed to forgive ourselves a little. When we can't apologise, we carry that guilt for hurting someone who cared about us. Part of growing up is accepting that sometimes we have to own our past behaviour. And then move forward. Best way to make permanent amends is to make sure you never become that person again.
Siesta, you may need to bite your tongue and accept initially that the counselling may focus on your drinking. But the longer you go on proving that you are taking steps to change, and are working at keeping the relationship going, the more the focus will switch to other issues that need to be faced. Be strong.
Courage, it is hard with children, you want to share your wisdom, but you also want to support them. And dads can frequently speak first think later! I hope things have settled down and everyone has had a chance to think. In stead of your hubby pointing out the obvious shortcomings of the scheme, perhaps you could suggest your son puts together a 5 year business plan? If he is serious, he will put the effort in to show how it could work, or may just show himself how it couldn't.
Proper grown up relationships with all the inherent emotions are just something we need to relearn to cope with, without the dulling effects of booze.
BF yip away sweetie, talk all you want to about what you are going through. sR is very definitely cheap Therapy!
Steve good to see you I know you have a lot on your plate, so please take care.
Grace I am so glad you are enjoying your break, hope you have plenty of sun slap!
DG you are so strong and focussed when it comes to giving the elbow to these addictions, I am so impressed by your all out commitment. It may work out easier for the PAWS but it still takes some awesome willpower!
MB you are sounding great today!
DP my dear friend, congratulations on 9 months! But how sad that you were feeling so low you overlooked it. I wish I could do or say something to put a big smile on your face, but know that I am wishing you all the good things you deserve.
SJ thanks for the reminder on urge surfing, it came in handy for me a while back.
Happy feet, Mel, Tanja and everyone else, have a great Friday and a sober weekend!
Carlos my man, I am so glad you stumbled across SR, your support, and experience and humour have helped many a newbie and old hand over a hurdle or two, so enjoy your day in the sun. Congratulations on four months.
WWG ditto Graces words of wisdom, and also Ctrl had a good point, check in here if you need a boost.
Madbird, mortified as I am by Dees comment, he has a point, some of us are a bit more go by than others! But speak up if there is anything you really want to say or ask
Roomsforall, we don't always get the proper chance to make amends and say we are sorry. And sometimes we have to accept that is ok. And let go. It can be hard, because by saying sorry and meaning it we are allowed to forgive ourselves a little. When we can't apologise, we carry that guilt for hurting someone who cared about us. Part of growing up is accepting that sometimes we have to own our past behaviour. And then move forward. Best way to make permanent amends is to make sure you never become that person again.
Siesta, you may need to bite your tongue and accept initially that the counselling may focus on your drinking. But the longer you go on proving that you are taking steps to change, and are working at keeping the relationship going, the more the focus will switch to other issues that need to be faced. Be strong.
Courage, it is hard with children, you want to share your wisdom, but you also want to support them. And dads can frequently speak first think later! I hope things have settled down and everyone has had a chance to think. In stead of your hubby pointing out the obvious shortcomings of the scheme, perhaps you could suggest your son puts together a 5 year business plan? If he is serious, he will put the effort in to show how it could work, or may just show himself how it couldn't.
Proper grown up relationships with all the inherent emotions are just something we need to relearn to cope with, without the dulling effects of booze.
BF yip away sweetie, talk all you want to about what you are going through. sR is very definitely cheap Therapy!
Steve good to see you I know you have a lot on your plate, so please take care.
Grace I am so glad you are enjoying your break, hope you have plenty of sun slap!
DG you are so strong and focussed when it comes to giving the elbow to these addictions, I am so impressed by your all out commitment. It may work out easier for the PAWS but it still takes some awesome willpower!
MB you are sounding great today!
DP my dear friend, congratulations on 9 months! But how sad that you were feeling so low you overlooked it. I wish I could do or say something to put a big smile on your face, but know that I am wishing you all the good things you deserve.
SJ thanks for the reminder on urge surfing, it came in handy for me a while back.
Happy feet, Mel, Tanja and everyone else, have a great Friday and a sober weekend!
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Undies)
You'll never guess where I've just back from) Right, boxing class
There was a new lady, who scratched we to blood with her long nails. Well, I've got used to punches and hits by far, but that! Come on.
Carlos - congrats on 4 months! Great sobriety job!
BF - glad to see you are posting and sound better)
Toots - you are taking care of all of us, but how's yourself, my friend? How's visa red tape?
Siesta - sorry to hear about what's happened. Hang in with us - whatever outcome will be, you'll surely handle it better without this devious enemy of alcohol! Hugs to you.
Welcome to all new Undies)
Have a great day.
You'll never guess where I've just back from) Right, boxing class
There was a new lady, who scratched we to blood with her long nails. Well, I've got used to punches and hits by far, but that! Come on.
Carlos - congrats on 4 months! Great sobriety job!
BF - glad to see you are posting and sound better)
Toots - you are taking care of all of us, but how's yourself, my friend? How's visa red tape?
Siesta - sorry to hear about what's happened. Hang in with us - whatever outcome will be, you'll surely handle it better without this devious enemy of alcohol! Hugs to you.
Welcome to all new Undies)
Have a great day.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2,294
Wow! Been busy and not posting as much and see we have some new members and some great milestones. Congrats Dorothy and Carlos on your anniversaries!
Work has me busy and stressed. My problem building is broke and can not pay me, or so it seems, this month. I am not sure what to do. They are responsible for enforcing the collection of monthly maintenance and there is one owner who is way behind. Unlike rent, they can not be evicted, just a lien on the condo. With all the construction they did without adequately looking at how they were going to pay for it, they are not going to pay their bills. I have to pay their bills for utilities and such before I pay myself from their account so I am not amused, so to speak. Will see what happens.
Not going to drink. Nope not going to. I am so close to 6 months and I am not going to mess up now.
Anyway, love, hugs and all to my fellow undies!
Work has me busy and stressed. My problem building is broke and can not pay me, or so it seems, this month. I am not sure what to do. They are responsible for enforcing the collection of monthly maintenance and there is one owner who is way behind. Unlike rent, they can not be evicted, just a lien on the condo. With all the construction they did without adequately looking at how they were going to pay for it, they are not going to pay their bills. I have to pay their bills for utilities and such before I pay myself from their account so I am not amused, so to speak. Will see what happens.
Not going to drink. Nope not going to. I am so close to 6 months and I am not going to mess up now.
Anyway, love, hugs and all to my fellow undies!
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,166
Good on you Drake, keep that attitude. There must be something that can be done, it seems totally unfair that you should suffer, but I am glad are not allowing it to drive you to drink!
Mb thank you for your thoughts, it seems we have quite a wait now to hear about the visas,probably weeks. The company still seem confident of getting it, but I've decided not to get excited about anything just now. I'm also fighting off a virus, I just cannot take time off at to he moment, we are so short staffed it's stupid! In a couple of weeks time I can flake out and wallow! 😃. What a beeatch scratching you! I hope you got in a quick one two and took her out!!!
Mb thank you for your thoughts, it seems we have quite a wait now to hear about the visas,probably weeks. The company still seem confident of getting it, but I've decided not to get excited about anything just now. I'm also fighting off a virus, I just cannot take time off at to he moment, we are so short staffed it's stupid! In a couple of weeks time I can flake out and wallow! 😃. What a beeatch scratching you! I hope you got in a quick one two and took her out!!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Farmington, NY
Posts: 232
Way to be, Drake. Sounds wrong that you can't get your money, but props for how you're handling it.
Toots...things sound crazy for you at the moment!
MB - scratched you? I barely know you and I'd be terrified to antagonize you!
Toots...things sound crazy for you at the moment!
MB - scratched you? I barely know you and I'd be terrified to antagonize you!
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