benice

Dee, I'm so sorry to hear you aren't feeling well. Take care! Sending prayers...

EternalQ

Hi Everyone!

It is Friday here in the States. Anyone have any plans to encourage sobriety maintenance over the weekend?

I drank alone... so when I quit I said yes to any invite that wasn't a bar or cocktail party. Lol I ended up going to plays and movies and sports events and hikes and for coffee and helping people... all the things that before I wouldve declined just so I could get home to be alone with my abusive relationship: vodka.

Doing different things really opened my eyes those first few months and kept me busy. What are your plans for the weekend?

foolsgold66

EQ, It's great to see you here, I always get something out of your posts. We have a family birthday party to host this weekend and I will be getting ready for that and also knocking a few tasks off my to-do list.

Sheknits

Dee: feel better!

Johnny: how are you doing today?

Sean: how goes the battle?

Elsewhere: have you been out with the horses much? Is the anxiety getting better? Gotten back into knitting yet? I find when I'm having a knitting block, picking up something super simple like a dishcloth or a toque really helps get my knitting mojo flowing.

Kadi: so glad the dentist went well. I have a few appts coming up with the dentist and I'm dreading them

Jaynie: those negative thoughts have plague me my whole life! I was a chubby kid and my parents And sisters never ever let me forget it, then and now. So I have some pretty negative thoughts looping through my brain. I'm slowly learning to shut them down.

Serenity: I will send lots of positive vibes your way this weekend! Just Remember that you have a whole group if people rooting for you! That always helps me.

No weekend plans for me, I work nights all weekend. One of my triggers is coming off a night shift. I used to have a couple beer or a few glasses of wine with my breakfast before I went to sleep for the day. Not having anything in the house makes that impossible though!

Have a great weekend everyone! Sending sober vibes and hopes for another sober weekend for all!

Elseware

I second that and more!

w2r

Get better Dee!

Weekend with family. Beautiful weather.
Reading a lot of posts on SR has confirmed to me that I have very little in life to complain about.

But my goal is my first alcohol free weekend.

Glad you changed your avatar Elsewhere.

Have a good weekend everyone.

And thanks EternalQ for being with us.

kadidee

Dee, I've been missing you! Looked for you yesterday. I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling well...thanks for popping in and letting us know. Get better soon!

Elseware

Hi, Folks! Well, I am feeling ok on day 14. Still very weak and tired, but I went out and caught that mare of mine and brought her in. I thought. "Well, I might be weak but my body still knows how to handle a horse so"...... I spent about 1/2 hour getting her calm and paying attention to me. Then I threw my leg over her. My heart was pounding with tiredness and adrenalin. I'd never been on that horse without the Vicodin on board, too. She just stood there calm as you please. I took her out on the trail for a little walk/trot about and she didn't put a foot wrong. I was so glad! I surely needed that positive reinforcement! I feel sore all over but it's better than what I have been going through. I actually think I'm mending. Tiredness from doing something challenging is much better than being worn out from detoxing. Last night I had a weird thing happen. I wrote about it on another post but it bears repeating. I found a stash of pills I had forgotten about in my bathroom. I was able to NOT take even one. I went to bed and then asked my husband to get rid of them this morning. Which he did. I feel pretty good about it although I was tempted to keep them for a rainy day. I'm glad they're gone. And I'm glad I didn't know they were there all this time. That would've really set me back, I'm afraid. I would have swallowed them for sure "just to ease the pain", my brain would have said. I never want to have to detox from something again.

kadidee

Nice work, Elseware! That must have been a shock to find.

jaynie04

Elseware...for someone who is feeling weak and tired I would say you did 2 HUGE things today!! You go girl!!!

EternalQ

Elseware: that is very impressive! And a move of self respect toward the sober you.

Glad some of you have plans for the weekend. I am going to a big wedding this weekend with people I mostly don't know and I'm not drinking. Two things that never wouldve happened before!

I realized after awhile that alcohol didn't ease my social anxiety; it perpetuated it. It distorted my perceptions and heightened my self conciousness. Who knew?

SeanMc

Good day people! Hope you're okay. Sean

Elseware

I have to say my heart gave a lurch. So unexpected but not surprising since I was not thinking very straight for a while.

Viperidae

I'm not gonna lie. I feel terrible. Slept aaallllll day again. Weak, exhausted. I can't lift a friggin' soup can. I turned down the writing job and canceled Florida. The princess still wants to go later on. Who knows. I feel kind of bad because she doesn't get to do much of anything and has had a crappy life. Going to Sanibel island would have been very nice for her too, and she started crying. That broke my heart. But she sees how terrible I feel and look so she totally gets it and is fine. If this was just a relaxing beach thing it would be one case, but Disney? It's so expensive, I don't want to waste it sleeping and I want her to have fun and be able to go on all the activities she wants.

I'm still on Prozac just to make sure it's not going to work again. Getting bad side effects and no improvement. Next is Effexor or Pristiq or something. I'm sure there is no other cause, I have been through this before. But always because I thought I could quit prozac and failed miserably. Now it just doesn't work. Plus I had a full workup in April and everything was perfect.

My father is increasingly worried about me. He's been calling and asking me what I need, 'whatever I can do for you.' I might take my own trip just to clear my mind. He came up with the idea. go somewhere and get serious rest and relaxation. Then redouble my efforts at meds. Plus, I don't want to drink while away, I drink here. The princess wasn't thrilled when I mentioned that... only because of disney, but whatever.

Thanks for the support my friends.

Elseware, way more peaceful avatar. I need one of my own.

-j

Viperidae

BTW, is season 4 of Dexter just kind of lame? It's like average episodes of Criminal Minds. And it's getting very formulaic. I heard it gets a lot better though. I'm still on the Trinity Killer part (I think I'm on 4).

kadidee

Johnny, I'm sorry you're still feeling bad, but you sound better than your last post. I was in a pysch hospital some years ago for overdosing on xanax and hydracodone. I was in a very bad place after I left my violent, nutty, evil ex-husband, drank too much while taking anti-depressants and prescription xanax, and made a bad decision to take the whole bottle, etc. Anyway, I was in the behavioral ward for 3 days, got out, went out the same night and almost got arrested, and was put back in hospital for 5 days. I got a lot of good help there and it led me to an IOP. I didn't stop drinking bc I thought I was just depressed and had PTSD, and didn't see how alcohol was contributing (duh). My mom and sister tried to do an intervention and brought me some brochures for a place in Texas. I don't remember the name. I was very belligerent and defensive and accused them of trying to send me away, and did not take my mother up on the offer to send me there to get some help. I really wish that I had. Maybe I wouldn't have kept playing groundhog's day for another 6 years (minus the od parts, thank gawd). If you are financially able to, I would really recommend that you go someplace...from what little I glanced at the brochures, this was a kind of retreat center with guided therapy, nice grounds, etc....I wish now that I had taken her up on it.

Sorry for the long story. But when you mentioned that your father was supporting you in whatever you needed and suggesting that you go someplace to get rest and relaxation, I thought of all this. I think you should listen to him.

Elseware

Johnny, keep watching Dexter. It really keeps getting better. I'm up to the moment with him and I can't wait to see what's next. I'm curious (and please don't answer if I'm out of line.) but what are the side effects you are experiencing from Prozac? I know they are different for different people. I would like to have a better picture of how you are besides "side effects". I'm sort of worried for you. I'm glad you finally posted here today because I wanted to hear from you. Can you get out of bed at all? Is someone looking in on you? Are you eating? Activities of daily living going on? I'm sorry about your trip falling thru. Sun, sea and sand is so nice. And Disney does have its good points. But I have a feeling you knew all along you weren't going to be able to make it. Trips are hard for me to do even when I'm at my best. I absolutely understand depression like yours. It can be so paralyzing. Try to stick with your med long enough for the serotonin to kick in. Your doc should be able to find help for you. Keep in close touch with him. And post here often. We care about you.

Elseware

Have you seriously considered in-patient treatment? Maybe your Dad could help you with that. Sorry you're feeling so bad.

Viperidae

HI, I would do inpatient. It's VERY VERY expensive(1000-2000 per day). I don't have coverage for it. I've done IOP's under State insurance and all I can say is they are terrible. I wouldn't go back there if they paid me.

Prozac side effects - jaw clenching, muscle spasms, tight tendons and joints, headaches, and other things. They could pass. Prozac was a miracle drug for me, but like I've said I've lived 1/3 of a life for years, when before, if I stopped drinking... I was great. I'm well versed in how these things work, I have an appointment with the Psychiatrist(who has shaped up), my old therapist (good guy), and a new nurse practitioner.

Thanks guys. DEXTER did get a lot better last night.

Viperidae

Also, yes, my friend the princess is sleeping on my couch taking care of me. She forced me to go the store and get food with her last night. I ate a good meal. I told her I had no interest in eating. She's been bringing me take-out.

Parents are calling offering help. Sister knows what's up. I'll get there, I hope, this is just the darkest part of the tunnel. It's about my psychiatric issues I had before I ever had a drop to drink, they need to be treated again.

And yeah, lol, I can get out of bed. I just need to sleep about 15 hours a day, and prefer to lie down a lot.