Emily2002

I really started drinking to self medicate, too, Lorelei. I'm finally beginning to realize with age that this has to stop. Life's gotten more complicated, and if i'm not strong enough to actually deal with things rather than simply allowing myself to numb out, I'll never be happy.

Your loss will always cut deep, but hoping you find some peace.

abwvu1

Day 6. My outstanding rent check that I bailed myself out with last Friday and got the car out the Towing place last Saturday came through. The bank paid it. Very blessed it didn't get returned. I'm getting a 401k loan to pay my lawyer to help me fight my 2nd DUI.

Things are getting better everyday. Just gotta stay with it.

Emily2002

Just read what you posted a moment ago, Lorelei. YES... journaling is awesome. I've been a bit better with meditating, but I trying to do that more, too.

I'm finding that those tools, in addition to SR, work wonders for me. I just have to figure out a way to get to the gym...

Have a good day, keep being KIND to yourself like you've been doing, and breathe.

Renarde

Morning friends! Everyone seems to be doing well!

I woke up exhausted again today, even after a 3 hour nap yesterday and 8 hours of sleep overnight. What is going on with me?! I really do have to carry on today...wish me luck. Husband and I went to bed on bad terms so who knows how that will go today.

Yoctopus

Yes, I pretty much throw myself totally and completely into everything I do. Sometimes it is healthy things - I have run 4 marathons - but more often it's not. I am definitely a relationship addict. I cannot envision myself not being in one. I actually think that is one of my greatest issues. My parents didn't drink a drop, but I learned all about dysfunctional relationships and co-dependency from them.

Yoctopus

I hope many of you will be on here over the weekend. I have a feeling I am going to need lots of support, or at least have a strong desire to type things out. Funny how Friday doesn't have the same eager anticipation attached to it.

In awesome news - Day 6 has arrived!!!

lorelei

Thank you newleaf, I hope so xx have a great day x


Morning renarde and abu! Hope everythings ok with H renarde, this exhausted feeling *will* pass soon! x

Yes yocotpus, there must be something in us, our genes makes us like this, I didnt drink till i was 20, but then started and add stress into it, and that was it, I was gone

Eintage

Day 12! You all are an inspiration! I had forgotten how well one can sleep when sober! So refreshing to "wake up" rather than "come to"! Hang in there brothers and sisters. It Friday, praying for all of you too!!

Sulu1

Wondering if I can get a bit of advice from you guys.

I'm a recent uni graduate (early twenties) and have been invited to attend an interview for a big company next week. The issue is that it is over 100 miles away and my family aren't particularly comfortable with me being that far away after my last episode of binge drinking.

I really want to go, I'm confident I have the support systems in place to stay sober, and in fact I'd probably say i'm more likely to get cravings to drink when i'm stuck in the house all day every day, bored to tears. I just feel that this is too big of an opportunity to miss. I don't want to have to live in the past. I am aware of my problem and fully believe I can do this and do it well. My partner is very supportive of me going it's just my mother who is unsure... I have a SMART meeting the day before I go and will ensure I have a hotel room with wifi so I can get support on here if needed. Thoughts?

Yoctopus

Grindilow - it sounds like you are well aware of the potential pitfalls you face in heading out that far. While I don't know the specific details of your situation, it does sound like you have committed to sobriety and have several days under your belt at this point. If you decide to go make sure you have a game plan and plenty of snacks. Know where you will eat after the interview, as I imagine you will want a drink to celebrate if you did well, and a drink to cheer up if you feel you did poorly. Don't find yourself headed to the hotel bar afterward.

Let us know what you decide to do and we will all give you support regardless.

CardHat

Day 13 check in. Another weekend is upon us. Another challenge, but also another opportunity to prove ourselves. Wonder what I will do now that I don't have to plan a weekend around getting hammered...

Slammy1

It's a question only you can answer, G.

Spice addiction. I thought I could keep the pot party going through random drug testing. It was pretty bad, waking through the night and not taking sobriety breaks for a couple of years. Got me pretty sick Tuesday, at work. I did a couple when I got home, slept a bit, tried the usual, but it didn't work so I guess it's been 2 solid days sober.

Nausea (can't eat, using Boost), sleeplessness, diarrhea, a little incontinent (hard to get everything out when you have to worry you might force the other end to respond). Pretty gross, but I welcome the DTs so long as I can work tomorrow. It keeps me strong. I kept the spice around in case I couldn't handle, which worries me a lot because it seems like I'm setting myself up to feel bad.

I'm hoping I can work out and sleep, but it's still early in recovery and the diarrhea does stop me from certain outdoor activities. If I feel decent tonight I will throw it all away (maybe not the vaporizer, I can find a home for it).

CardHat

You want the job, right? Go to the interview. Going to an interview does not mean you will get the offer or accept it. At least go for the experience.

lorelei

@grindlow, your Mum loves you to bits, and is obviously worried, it sounds like this would be great for you, but really its only you who can decide.

Maybe make a list of pros and cons, reasons to go, reasons why it would be risky. Maybe think of the ways you can protect yourself whilst there and show your Mum let her see how determined you are to stay sober. And if you go, avoid anywhere with alcohol, maybe finding a nice cafè for a hot drink, don't get hungry and like you said keep checking in here, don't take more money than you absolutely need.

We will all be sending good luck vibes if you go x

Nuway2fly

Glad your check cleared, ab. Sorry you have to raid your 401k, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Staying sober is the goal--if we do that, the rest will fall into place.

phoebe64

Renarde, I hope you feel better,

Newleaf, thanks for the support and we are twins, lol! I just got my son on the bus then sat in a rocker and did deep breaths for a few minutes, and took my BP. It was much lower. Still a bit high on the bottom, but ok(a number the doc accepted last check up). I am sure it is the stress of withdrawal and resisting drink, and maybe the very salty dinner we had. need to tweak that recipe, as it was otherwise delish!

A week in, withdrawal should wear off soon, right? I did not have overt withdrawal, but just tension, mild achy head, anxious here and there, jitters here and there. Nothing strong, but something, nonetheless. So, that must take a toll internally as well.

I wish I slept better last night. Was restless. Lots of cleaning to do today.

Sulu1

Thanks for the feedback guys, I really want to go and I know I can do it sober. I am starting to trust myself now, I just hope the loved ones in my life do too. Thanks lorelei a list of pros and cons sounds like a good idea. There definitely seem to be more pros, the only con being a big one, but as I say I am committed to this and confident.

Cardhat you're right, it's just an interview at this point. If it comes down to having to move, that's something I can think about later and not worry myself about it right now.

Thanks all, really appreciate the advice. I definitely need to draw up a rigid plan of where/when I go to eat etc and help minimise the distractions that alcohol will bring.

phoebe64

Thank you Lorelai. You are very sweet and kind and post such thoughtful words to everyone. Glad you are here.

I am sorry for your loss and wish you all the best in this journey we are all on together.

phoebe64

Grindilow, from your posts so far, you have sounded very grounded and firmly set on your SMART recovery path. I do not know your detailed story, but you seem on a good path now. Hopefully a good job interview and maybe an offer enables you to continue to improve your life? But I do not know how stressful that will be and if that is a trigger for you. Good your partner is supportive.

I wish you well, whatever you decide!

Uninvited

Agree. Go to the interview and decide about the rest later.